THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 


Countess  Zanardi  Landi  and  her  Children 
Elisabeth-Marie- Christine  and  Antony- Francis 


THE    SECRET 
OF    AN    EMPRESS 


BY 


THE  COUNTESS  ZANARDI  LANDI 


WITH    ILLUSTRATIONS 


BOSTON   AND   NEW    YORK 
HOUGHTON   MIFFLIN   COMPANY 


COPYRIGHT,    1914,   BY  JEAN  WICK 
ALL  RIGHTS  RESERVED 


PREFACE 

Two  questions  have  often  been  asked  me  by  people  who 
have  known  part  only  of  my  life-story;  and  it  seems  to 
me  that  before  I  begin  to  tell  the  whole  of  that  story  I 
should  do  well  to  answer  them.  The  first  question  is. 
Why  did  the  Empress  Elisabeth  wish  to  bring  me  up  as 
she  did,  away  from  the  Court?  The  second  is.  Why  does 
the  Emperor  Francis- Joseph  refuse  me  recognition? 

Why,  then,  did  the  Empress  bring  me  up  as  she  did? 
It  is,  I  suppose,  fairly  well  known  that  the  Court  of 
Vienna  is  still  under  the  rule  of  a  code  of  etiquette  which 
dates  from  the  sixteenth  century.  But  I  doubt  whether 
more  than  a  very  few  outside  the  Court  itself  realise  how 
crushing  the  code  is.  I  shall  have  occasion  later  to  refer 
to  it  in  some  detail,  and  shall  here  speak  only  of  that  por- 
tion of  it  which  concerns  the  Empress's  position.  In  Aus- 
tria the  sovereign's  wife  is  a  person  standing  entirely  by 
herself.  The  Emperor  himself  is  above  her,  and  she  is 
not  permitted  to  go  to  see  him  as  she  wishes.  There  are 
always  the  ceremonies  of  asking  permission  before  a  meet- 
ing, and  of  announcing  the  approach.  All  the  rest  of 
the  Court  is  below  the  Empress,  and  not  one  of  her  rela- 
tives even  may  see  her  without  obtaining  leave  some  time 
beforehand,  through  the  Grand  Mistress  or  her  deputy. 

This  may  not  be  considered  a  great  hardship  so  far  as 
ordinary  relatives  are  concerned,  nor  indeed  anything  out 
of  the  way  in  a  high  rank  of  society.  But,  in  so  far  as 
the  rule  applies  to  the  intercourse  of  mother  and  child,  it 
becomes  tragic  in  its  cruelty.     Mere  archdukes  and  arch- 


vi  PREFACE 

duchesses  may  associate  freely  with  their  children,  who  are 
of  the  same  status  as  themselves.  The  Emperor  and  Em- 
press, on  the  other  hand,  are  hedged  round  with  restric- 
tions. This  is  not  the  case,  so  far  as  I  am  aware,  in  any 
other  comitry  than  Austria,  other  empresses  and  queens 
having  their  children's  apartments  close  to  their  own  and 
spending  hours  with  them  daily. 

The  Empress  of  Austria  is  constantly  on  a  pedestal 
above  the  rest  of  the  world,  and  her  children  are  drilled 
to  look  upon  her  in  that  way.  If  she  should  wish  to  be 
present  at  their  lessons,  there  is  no  such  thing  for  her  as 
going  straight  to  the  schoolroom.  Her  visit  must  be  an- 
nounced twenty-four  hours  in  advance,  teacher  and  pupils 
are  dressed  for  the  occasion,  questions  and  answers  are 
prepared,  and  at  the  end  of  the  visit  her  Imperial  Majesty 
graciously  expresses  her  satisfaction  to  the  teacher. 

The  Empress  may  not  even  select  the  persons  who  are 
to  be  about  her  children,  nor  the  subjects  which  they  are 
to  be  taught.  She  may  never  have  a  simple,  informal 
meal  with  them  nor  indulge  in  a  ramble  with  them  out  of 
doors.  At  all  times  they  must  remember  that  they  are  in 
the  presence  of  the  almost  sacred  person  of  the  Empress. 
The  inevitable  result  is  that  they  are  really  hardly  her 
children  at  all ;  neither  has  the  natural  affection  of  a  child 
for  its  mother  any  opportunity  for  development. 

Maternal  love  being  the  deepest  and  most  unselfish  feel- 
ing in  the  world,  the  imposition  of  such  restraints  as  these 
is  a  cruel  outrage.  There  are  some  natures  which  can 
seek  consolation  in  a  frivolous  and  trivial  life;  others  to 
which  the  mere  dignity  of  rank  is  a  solace ;  and  yet  others 
(as  is  shown  in  the  history  of  many  a  hapless  Empress  of 
Austria)  which  can  bow  down  and  accept  what  appears  to 
be  a  necessity. 


PREFACE  vii 

My  mother,  the  Empress  Elisabeth,  belonged  to  none 
of  these  classes.  She  had  an  individuality  in  the  fullest 
sense  of  the  word.  She  wished  to  live  her  life  in  perfec- 
tion. The  imnatiu*al  was  as  poison  to  her,  the  incomplete 
like  a  physical  defect.  In  the  artificiality  of  the  existence 
forced  upon  her,  and  the  impossibility  of  her  accomplish- 
ing what  she  set  her  hand  to,  lay  the  whole  tragedy  of 
her  soul. 

When  she  would  have  surrounded  her  children  with  her 
care  and  interest,  they  were  torn  away  from  her,  one  to 
be  made  wretched  and  finally  destroyed,  the  others  to  be 
reduced  to  mediocrity.  At  last,  finding  how  she  had  been 
deceived  in  her  hopes  about  her  fourth-born  child,  Marie- 
Valerie,  she  resolved  that  for  once  she  would  have  her  own 
way,  and  that  at  any  rate  one  of  her  family  should  be  as 
she  had  wished  them  all  to  be. 

That  is  why  I  was  brought  up  as  I  was,  away  from  the 
Court. 

There  remains  the  other  question:  Why  does  the  Em- 
peror Francis- Joseph  refuse  to  recognise  me? 

All  I  can  say  is  that  I  do  not  believe  that  it  is  the  Em- 
peror himself  who  refuses.  It  is  the  Court  of  Vienna 
which  looks  upon  me  as  dangerous.  Having  been  brought 
up  by  my  mother  in  the  free  and  broad-minded  ideas  of 
modern  education,  I  must,  I  suppose,  be  regarded  as  a 
menace  to  the  traditions  of  the  Imperial  House,  and  there- 
fore recognition  must  be  absolutely  denied  me. 

The  Emperor,  I  must  point  out,  is  by  no  means  a  free 
agent ;  and  least  of  all  is  he  free  to  give  scope  to  the  kind- 
ness of  heart  which  by  nature  he  possesses.  Since  the 
days  of  his  youth,  when  he  was  ruled  by  his  mother,  the 
Archduchess  Sophia,  he  has  been  compelled  to  yield  to 
the  wishes  or,  I  should  rather  say,  the  will  of  others,  and 


viii  PREFACE 

has  thereby  more  than  once  been  robbed  of  his  chances  of 
happiness  in  hfe. 

To-day  the  Emperor  Francis-Joseph  is  the  saddest  and 
most  to  be  pitied  figure  in  modem  history  through  the 
tragedies  which  have  befallen  him.  The  hapless  INIaxi- 
milian  of  Mexico  was  the  first  victim,  immolated  by  those 
who  wished  him  away  from  his  Imperial  brother's  side. 
The  Crown  Prince  Rudolf  was  a  second  victim,  under  cir- 
cumstances I  shall  relate  in  the  course  of  this  book.  My 
mother  the  Empress  was  a  third  victim,  martyred  because 
of  the  freedom  of  her  ideas  and  her  great  love  of  Hun- 
gary. Of  the  recently  murdered  Archduke  Franz-Ferdi- 
nand ^  and  his  consort,  it  is  too  early  yet  to  speak  with 
certainty;  but  the  events  connected  with  their  burial  are 
sufficient  alone  to  give  rise  to  suspicion  of  the  most  seri- 
ous kind. 

And  all  the  time  the  most  unfortunate  victim  of  all  has 
been  the  Emperor  Francis-Joseph,  who  has  lived  while 
others  have  died. 

Only  quite  recently  I  have  been  told  that  the  Emperor 
shed  tears  when  he  learnt  that  he  was  not  allowed  to  meet 
me  and  my  two  children.  Of  children  he  is  very  fond,  and 
this  in  itself  is  a  proof  of  a  kind  heart.  As  for  myself, 
I  can  but  wonder  if  it  is  my  fate  never  to  meet  him.  Who 
can  tell? 

So  my  mother's  determination  to  mould  the  character 
of  at  least  one  of  her  children  involved  that  I  should  be 
born  in  obscurity.  But  that  very  obscurity  was  light  to 
me.     She  taught  me  to  realise  the  beauty  of  life,  and  that 

1  The  death  of  the  Archduke  Franz-Ferdinand,  I  may  say,  has  changed  the 
situation  somewhat  for  me  as  well  as  for  the  others.  Will  those  members 
of  the  family  who  are  faithfully  trying  to  help  me  succeed  now  in  their  en- 
deavours? 


PREFACE  ix 

there  is  in  life  nothing  so  sorrowful,  nothing  so  unfortu- 
nate that  I  should  not  be  able  to  see  the  beautiful  side  of 
it.  All  such  things  are  but  incentives  for  us  to  strive  to- 
ward perfection.  The  effect  of  her  teaching  upon  me  has 
been  enduring.  More  and  more  every  day  I  feel  that  in 
the  extraordinary  existence  which  has  been  mine  there 
must  be  some  definite  purpose.  The  experiences  through 
which  I  have  gone,  in  the  comparatively  short  space  of 
thirty-two  years,  experiences  sufficient  for  three  lives  of 
many  people,  must  have  been  imposed  upon  me  to  enable 
me  to  accomplish  a  mission.  And  to  open  the  way  for  my 
fulfilment  of  that  mission  I  have  now  written  this  book. 


CONTEXTS 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

I     My  Birth     . 1 

II     Some  Early  Impressions ,      6 

III  A  Home  op  My  Own ,12 

IV  My  Mother  Is  the  Empress ,17 

V    Elisabeth  op  Austria 28 

VI     Frau  von  Friese ,46 

VII     Summer  Holidays .61 

VIII     I  Go  to  School ,70 

IX  An  Accident;  and  a  Visit  to  the  Riviera     ...     77 

X     How  A  Holiday  Was  Spoilt 90 

XI     Professor  Kraus 101 

XII  Some  Happy  Times;  and  the  Professor's  Diary     .      .112 

XIII  Confidences 132 

XIV  Ludwig   of   Bavaria 140 

XV  My  "Military  Year";  and  First  Love      .      .      .      .156 

XVI     Plans  for  My  Future 168 

XVII     The  Course  of  Love 178 

XVIII     A  Tyrolese  Holiday 196 

XIX     A  Thunderbolt 201 

XX     Mayerling 207 

XXI     After  Mayerling 236 

XXII     I  Go  Under  Fire 249 

XXIII  The  End  of   Love's  Young   Dream 261 

XXIV  Our  Last  Days   Together 273 

XXV     The  Hand  of  Fate 281 

XXVI     Alone  in  the  World 290 

Epilogue 296 


ILLUSTRATIONS 

Countess  Zanardi  Landi  and  heb  Children,  Elisabeth- 
Marie-Christine  AND  Antony-Francis        .      .Frontispiece, 

{From  a  photograph  by  Vari  Dyck,  Ltd.,  London.) 

Countess  Zanardi  Landi  when  a  Child 12 

Her  Birthplace,  ChAteau  d'  Sassetot 12 

Empress  Elisabeth  of  Austria 36 

King  Ludwig  II,  op  Bavaria 142 

Baroness  Marie  Vetsera 208 

Crown  Prince  Rudolf 208 

{From  a  water-color  miniature.) 

Mayerling 208 

Crown  Prince  Rudolf 230 

Crown  Prince  Rudolf  and  his  Fiancee,  Princess  Steph- 
anie OF  Belgium 230 

Emperor  Francis-Joseph 230 

{From  aphotograph  by  Stanley  ^  Co.,  London.) 

Archduchess  Isabella,  Archduchess  Marie-Josepha, 
Archduchess  Marie- Valerie,  and  Archduke  Ferdi- 
nand-Karl   244 

{From  a  photograph  by  Stanley  Sf  Co.,  London.) 

Archduke  Karl-Franz-Joseph  and  the  Archduchess 
Zita 246 

Archduke  Franz-Ferdinand  and  Family       ....  246 

{From  aphotograph  by  Stanley  ^  Co.,  London,) 


THE 
SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

CHAPTER  I 

MY   BIRTH 

I  WAS  born  in  1882,  at  the  chateau  of  Sassetot,  near 
Petites-Dalles,  in  the  department  of  Seine-Inferieure, 
Normandy.  I  have  never  seen  the  place  again  since  my 
earliest  days,  and  can  give  no  description  of  it.  With 
regard  to  the  circumstances  of  my  birth,  naturally,  the 
little  that  I  kn6w  is  learnt  from  others.  I  therefore  give 
the  details  with  all  reserve,  though  I  have  endeavoured  as 
far  as  possible  to  test  their  accuracy  by  comparison  and 
inquiry. 

Semi-officially  it  was  given  out  that  my  mother,  the 
Empress  of  Austria,  had  met  with  an  accident  while  out 
riding.  The  Emperor  Francis-Joseph  came  secretly  to 
see  her,  his  presence  in  Normandy  at  the  time  being  known 
at  the  Elysee  but  concealed  carefully  in  all  other  quarters. 
My  mother  herself  had  been  living  at  Petites-Dalles  un- 
der her  incognita  of  the  Countess  Hohenembs.  What 
passed  between  her  and  the  Emperor  now  will  never  be 
revealed.  A  few  weeks  later,  when  my  mother  was  re- 
stored to  health,  I  had  to  undertake  a  long  journey  —  the 
first  of  the  many  long  journeys  which  have  been  mine  in 
this  life.     I  travelled  from  Normandy  to  Vienna. 

Foremost  in  the  party  was  Professor  Karl  Braim  von 
Fernwald,  my  mother's  physician,  a  stout  friendly  man, 
who  had  not  only  assisted  to  bring  me  into  this  world  of 


2  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

sorrow,  but  had  also  undertaken  the  responsibiHty  for  all 
arrangements  during  the  opening  years  of  my  life.  Then 
there  were  the  Countess  Goess,  one  of  my  mother's  most 
intimate  women-friends;  Alois  Pirker,  who  was  to  be  for 
so  many  years  to  come  my  faithful  head-servant;  and 
finally,  Theresa  Schedivi,  my  nurse,  a  Bohemian  by  race. 

The  first  thing  necessary  for  me  in  Vienna  was  a  home. 
As  it  was  my  mother's  intention  to  bring  me  up  in  perfect 
secrecy,  but  not  to  train  me  for  a  life  of  obscurity  when 
I  should  be  grown  up,  the  task  was  no  easy  one.  She  had 
particularly  expressed  her  objection  to  putting  me  into 
some  aristocratic  family  in  Vienna  having  a  footing  at 
Court,  for  it  would  be  impossible  for  such  people  to  keep 
the  secret  to  themselves.  Moreover,  the  control  of  the 
clergy  in  those  circles  is  complete,  and  it  was  her  fixed  in- 
tention that  I  should  not  be  exposed  to  undue  clerical  in- 
fluence. Prominent  Austrian  families  outside  Vienna 
were  also  considered  unsafe.  The  instructions  given  to 
Professor  Braun  had  been  short  and  unmistakable.  I 
was  to  be  placed  with  strangers  in  some  well-educated, 
cultured,  and  refined  family  of  standing  in  the  place  from 
which  they  came,  but  unknown  in  Vienna. 

So  it  came  about  that  I  was  taken  to  the  house  of  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Kaiser,  both  great  friends  of  Professor  Braun, 
and  especially  the  wife.  The  Kaisers  moved  in  good  cir- 
cles in  Berlin,  where  the  husband  had  been  manager  of  the 
Deutsche  Bank.  But  they  were  not  known  in  Vienna 
when  they  arrived,  and  therefore  answered  my  mother's 
requirements  excellently  well.  It  has  occurred  to  me  in 
later  years  that  the  name  of  Kaiser  was  in  itself  a  lucky 
coincidence,  for  even  did  I  overhear  as  a  child  such  expres- 
sions as  "  Kaiserliche  Mutter,  Kaiserliches  Kind"  (Im- 
perial mother.  Imperial  child),  they  were  nothing  more  to 


MY  BIRTH  3 

me,  before  I  reached  years  of  sufficient  discretion  to  share 
the  secret  with  her,  than  plays  upon  words,  and  gave  no 
hint  of  my  mother's  exalted  rank. 

It  cannot  have  been  an  easy  task  to  introduce  my  infant 
person  into  the  Kaiser  household,  and  quite  a  comedy 
seems  to  have  been  played  for  the  purpose.  After  due 
preparations,  Mrs.  Kaiser  was  suddenly  taken  ill.  Her 
children  had  already  been  sent  out  with  their  French 
bonne.  The  servants  were  now  all  hurriedly  despatched 
on  various  missions  —  one  to  fetch  the  midwife,  who  lived 
at  a  distance,  another  for  Professor  Braim,  and  yet  an- 
other for  Mr.  Kaiser,  who  "  very  unfortunately  "  hap- 
pened to  be  out  at  the  time.  Imagine  the  amazement  of 
the  whole  household,  when  at  length  they  retm*ned,  to  hear 
that  in  the  meanwhile  poor  Mrs.  Kaiser  had  given  birth  to 
a  little  girl,  only  the  nurse,  that  clever  Theresa  Schedivi, 
having  been  present  at  the  important  moment  I 

In  this  way  was  I  bom  a  second  time. 

My  earliest  recollections  of  childhood  are  bright  and 
fair.  I  lived  with  my  foster-parents  in  a  fine  suite  of 
rooms  at  No.  5,  Opemring,  near  the  Imperial  Opera 
House.  On  the  first  floor  was  the  business  of  Frau  Caro- 
line Brayer,  my  mother's  dressmaker.  The  suite  above 
had  been  expressly  taken  to  enable  my  mother  to  come  to 
see  me  without  difficulty  or  suspicion.  It  was  at  the  time 
one  of  the  finest  suites  of  its  kind  in  Vienna.  To  those 
unacquainted  with  the  city  it  may  appear  strange  that 
fine  rooms  like  these  should  be  located  over  a  dressmaker's 
establishment,  but  Vienna  is  an  exceptional  place  in  this 
respect.  It  has  no  particular  residential  quarter,  no  par- 
ticular business  centre,  no  special  characteristics  in  its  dif- 
ferent parts.     One  wealthy  man,  for  instance,  might  live 


4  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

in  Section  No.  3,  and  his  equally  wealthy  friend  in  Section 
No.  18,  at  the  other  end  of  the  city;  and  a  foreigner  com- 
ing to  Vienna  on  business  might  have  three  addresses  at 
which  to  call,  one  in  the  third,  another  in  the  sixth,  and 
another  in  the  eleventh  section,  so  that  he  would  have  to 
take  half  a  day  over  what  in  London  or  New  York  would 
take  him  half  an  hour. 

Everybody  in  the  home  in  the  Opemring  was  kind  and 
good  to  me,  and  I  was  surrounded  by  all  that  the  heart 
of  a  child  could  desire.  Certainly  no  child  living  could 
have  had  a  larger  and  pleasanter  nursery  than  I  had,  nor 
more  beautiful  dolls  and  amusing  toys.  And  if  I  broke 
my  toys  or  ill-treated  my  dolls,  no  one  grumbled  at  me  for 
doing  so.  Nor  yet  was  I  elaborately  dressed  or  annoyed 
with  a  multiplicity  of  frills  and  ribbons,  such  as  vex  the 
souls  and  bodies  of  some  little  unfortunates  and  put  them 
in  perpetual  terror  of  "  spoiling  their  clothes."  There 
was  nothing  to  be  spoilt  about  my  plain  little  white  frocks. 

Sometimes,  however,  I  was  dressed  up  in  more  than 
usual  splendour.  Then  I  always  knew  that  I  was  going 
to  see  that  day  a  beautiful,  tall  lady.  I  was  very  shy  in 
the  presence  of  this  lady,  although  she  kissed  and  caressed 
me  again  and  again  when  she  paid  her  visits  to  us. 

Although  Mrs.  Kaiser  was  tall  and  elegant,  the  visitor 
appeared  even  more  so,  probably  because  she  was  slimmer. 
Her  voice  was  low  and  melodious,  giving  to  me  at 
least  the  impression  that  she  could  never  be  cross  or  angry 
or  unkind.  Somehow  this  only  made  me  the  more  timid. 
The  lady  also  seemed  rather  embarrassed,  as  though  she 
were  at  a  loss  what  to  say  to  the  child  whom  she  only  saw 
at  infrequent  intervals.  Another  thing  which  contributed 
to  my  feeling  of  awe  was  the  very  profound  bow  with 
which  Mrs.  Kaiser  always  received  the  lady,  for  she  was 


MY  BIRTH  5 

not  one  wHo  usually  put  herself  out,  and  at  all  other  times 
was  herself  the  person  who  received  the  most  respect  in 
the  whole  household. 

All  that  I  have  told  hitherto  concerning  my  personal 
recollections  is  hazy  and  indefinite  in  my  mind.  I  move  in 
memory  like  a  traveller  making  his  way  through  a  dark 
and  heavy  night.  I  have  to  rack  my  brain  to  seize  upon 
anything  vivid  enough  to  be  put  into  words.  But  now 
events  begin  to  grow  more  distinct.  My  road  lies  before 
me  with  increasing  clearness  to  the  end  —  to  that  sad  end 
of  another's  life,  which  brought  such  sorrow  upon  mine  and 
left  me  to  face  the  world  all  alone. 


CHAPTER  II 

SOME  EARLY   IMPRESSIONS 

In  the  autumn  of  1888,  when  I  was  six  years  of  age,  I 
lived  awhile  (for  the  first  time  since  my  birth  as  far  as 
I  know)  under  the  same  roof  as  my  mother.  Although  I 
was  unaware  of  it  at  the  time,  the  place  in  which  we  stayed 
was  the  chateau  of  Lainz,  originally  a  hunting-box  in  the 
neighbourhood  of  Vienna,  which  she  had  bought  from  its 
owner  and  transformed  into  a  beautiful  home  for  herself. 
On  my  arrival  here  my  mother  said  to  me:  "  Weiberl,^ 
now  you  are  going  to  stay  with  mother  for  a  time.  You 
will  love  me  very  much,  won't  you,  darling?  '* 

I  did  not  understand,  for  up  to  then  I  had  always 
called  her  Tante  Elly  ("  Aunt  EUy  "),  so  I  looked  at  her 
without  speaking,  my  heart  beating  fast,  and  began  to  cry. 
My  childish  mind  could  not  grasp  the  idea  of  having  an- 
other mother  besides  Mrs.  Kaiser,  to  whom  I  was  then 
very  attached,  although  she  spent  but  little  of  her  time 
with  me  or  her  own  children.  Perhaps,  in  a  way,  this 
was  only  an  additional  reason  for  my  fondness.  Anyhow, 
she  often  brought  home  boxes  of  sweets  for  us,  and  that, 
of  course,  is  a  ready  road  to  a  child's  sympathy. 

My  real  mother,  however,  as  now  I  learnt  her  to  be, 
knew  so  well  how  to  win  my  heart  that  I  soon  lost  my 
shyness,  and  before  many  days  had  passed  every  other  per- 
son was  put  quite  in  the  background.     And  didn't  I  have 

1 "  Little  woman."  This  is  an  affectionate  diminutive  used  in  Austria,  and 
was  my  mother's  most  usual  fonn  of  address  to  me.  I  have  for  that  reason 
kept  it  imtranslated  in  this  book. 

6 


SOME  EARLY  IMPRESSIONS  7, 

a  splendid  time  with  her!  Just  imagine  for  a  moment 
how  delightful  it  was  to  sit  on  her  lap  every  morning,  while 
another  lady,  dressed  in  black  silk  and  a  white  apron,  stood 
for  hours  brushing  and  combing  her  beautiful  hair.  All 
the  time  she  would  enthral  my  soul  with  stories  of  Cin- 
derella, Little  Red  Riding-hood,  and  the  like.  Still  bet- 
ter did  I  love  her  singing,  and  how  often  would  I  beg, 
"  Mummy,  dear,  sing  me  *  Wenn  I  komm,  wenn  I  komm  ' 
(*  When  I  come  ')  I  "  And  when  she  had  sung  that  twice 
or  more,  she  must  go  on  to  something  else,  generally  Schu- 
bert's "  Lindenbaum,"  every  shade  and  emotion  of  which 
was  so  faultlessly  rendered  that  even  I,  small  child  as  I 
was,  was  deeply  moved. 

But  so  quick  to  change  is  the  mind  of  children  that, 
I  remember,  some  article  upon  the  dressing-table  would 
suddenly  attract  my  attention  and  grow  infinitely  desira- 
ble in  my  eyes  —  a  small  crystal  bottle,  it  might  be,  a  little 
silver  box,  some  exquisite  toilet-tray;  or  perhaps  only  a 
flower  in  one  of  the  ever-filled  vases,  a  few  violets  or  some 
rare  mountain  blossom.  Then,  without  the  slightest  apol- 
ogy or  excuse,  I  would  slip  off  her  knees  and  straightway 
go  towards  the  object  of  my  desire,  sometimes  so  impa- 
tient that  I  would  not  wait  till  the  song  was  finished.  But 
my  loving  mother  had  nothing  but  smiles  for  this  ill  be- 
haviour, and  would  call  me  back  and  cover  me  with  kisses. 
Neither  did  she  become  cross  when  one  morning  I  spilled 
almost  the  entire  contents  of  one  of  her  perfume  bottles, 
intending  to  put  some  on  myself.  And  it  was  her  favour- 
ite scent,  too  —  expressly  made  up  for  her  —  a  mixture 
of  roses,  violets,  and  amber. 

Every  day  we  went  out  for  a  walk  in  the  park.  At  that 
time  I  used  to  turn  in  my  toes  —  a  habit  which  was  a 
source  of  much  annoyance  to  my  mother,  who  was  a  re- 


8  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

markable  walker  and  famous  for  her  elegant  carriage. 
She  would  always  be  saying  to  me,  "  Come  now;  walk  like 
a  soldier!    One,  two;  one,  two." 

During  this  visit  she  also  tried  to  teach  me  dancing,  in 
the  learning  of  which  I  displayed  considerable  aptitude, 
as  I  had  not  only  a  good  ear  for  music  but  also  took  de- 
light in  exercise.  By  her  special  order,  when  I  returned 
to  my  foster-parents'  home  I  received  regular  lessons  from 
a  Madame  Crombe. 

In  the  winter  after  this  visit  an  event  took  place  which 
was  the  means  of  turning  my  growing  love  for  my  mother 
almost  to  veneration.  It  was  a  grey,  foggy  day  in  Jan- 
uary, 1889,  about  two  o'clock  in  the  afternoon.  I  had 
just  finished  dinner  and  was  in  the  nursery  with  the  nurse 
and  Laura,  my  little  foster-sister,  who  was  the  nearest  in 
age  to  me  of  the  Kaiser  children.  Probably  we  were 
dressing  to  go  out;  I  do  not  remember  distinctly.  Sud- 
denly Mrs.  Kaiser's  maid  rushed  into  the  room. 

"The  Crown  Prince  has  been  shot  .  .  .  killed!"  she 
cried  in  a  terrified  voice. 

"  Not  killed,"  said  the  nurse  incredulously.  "  You 
must  mean  wounded." 

The  Crown  Prince  was  so  extremely  popular,  so  be- 
loved by  his  subjects,  that  she  could  hardly  credit  the  news 
of  his  death. 

"  No,  no;  dead  —  quite  dead,"  persisted  the  maid. 

These  words  impressed  me  as  they  would  have  done  any 
other  child.  How  could  I  have  foreseen  what  in  after 
years  this  would  mean  to  me?  After  this,  nothing  more 
was  said  upon  the  subject  to  me  for  days.  Had  I  not 
seen  the  black  flags  in  the  streets  and  the  general  mourn- 
ing, I  should  have  forgotten  all  about  it  at  once. 


SOME  EARLY  IMPRESSIONS  9 

But  this  was  merely  the  preface  to  what  was  to  come; 
and  that  I  recall  more  clearly  than  anji;hing  else  in  child- 
hood. Several  days  afterwards  my  nm-se  dressed  me  in 
a  white  frock  with  a  black  cashmere  sash.  This  struck  me 
as  a  strange  proceeding.  The  black  sash  oppressed  and 
bewildered  me,  for  I  had  never  worn  black  before.  In 
reply  to  my  question  why  I  must  wear  this  I  received  the 
answer,  "  Don't  you  know  everybody  is  in  mourning  for 
the  Crown  Prince? " 

When  all  were  ready,  I  drove  with  my  nurse  and  Pirker 
in  a  carriage  to  a  great  palace,  which  I  afterwards  learnt 
to  be  the  Hofburg.  Here  we  got  out,  and  my  nurse  and 
I  passed  through  a  long  white  vestibule,  carpeted  with  red 
velvet;  then  up  a  big  marble  staircase,  through  several 
large  rooms,  all  richly  furnished,  coming  finally  to  a  draw- 
ing-room, where  my  nurse  pushed  me  gently  forward 
through  the  door.  I  thought  her  behind  me  still,  but  on 
turning  my  head  found  that  I  was  alone  and  that  the  door 
had  closed.  I  was  dismayed  at  my  loneliness  in  the 
strange  room,  but  on  recovering  from  the  agitation  of  the 
first  moments  I  perceived  a  dark  figure  lying  on  a  sofa. 
How  it  startled  me!  Was  this  my  mother,  all  in  black 
clothes  and  looking  as  pale  as  wax?  Her  figure  seemed 
shrimken  to  half  its  size,  a  shadow  of  her  former  self,  al- 
most ghostlike.  Never  afterwards  did  I  see  her  looking 
like  that.  She  did  not  rise  to  greet  me,  as  she  ordinarily 
would  have  done,  but  held  out  her  arms  weakly  and  feebly 
to  me.  I  felt  that  something  terrible  must  have  hap- 
pened, and  in  spite  of  my  fright  ran  towards  her,  clasping 
my  arms  around  her  neck.  What  followed  made  an  in- 
effaceable impression  upon  my  mind.  My  poor  mother  hid 
her  face  upon  my  little  shoulder,  while  for  a  moment  her 


10         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

whole  body  quivered  with  heart-breaking  sobs.  They 
pierced  my  very  soul,  and  caused  me  to  remain  perfectly 
silent,  trembling  with  emotion. 

When  at  last  she  could  control  her  voice,  she  begged 
me  not  to  let  anyone  know,  not  to  tell  even  the  Kaisers, 
about  her  weeping  hke  this.  I  did  my  best  to  comfort  her, 
and  she  cried,  in  words  that  I  remember  so  well,  "  Oh,  you 
darling  little  woman,  if  I  could  only  have  you  with  me,  it 
would  be  so  much  easier  to  bear!  " 

Could  I  not  come  very  often  to  see  her?  I  asked.  But 
she  said  she  must  go  away  again,  for  she  was  obliged  to 
travel  to  Budapest. 

I  would  have  loved  to  say,  "  Take  me  with  you,  mother," 
but  I  did  not  dare. 

A  few  days  after  this  she  came  to  see  me  at  my  guar- 
dians' home.  She  was  still  very  pale  and  sad,  but  did  not 
cry,  and,  young  as  I  was,  I  could  feel  that  her  heart  would 
have  ached  less  if  she  only  could  have  done  so. 

Still  another  impression  of  this  period  remains  in  my 
mind.  One  night,  about  twelve  o'clock,  I  was  awakened 
by  the  sound  of  horse-hoofs  in  the  street  and  an  unusual 
stir  in  our  house.  I  jumped  out  of  bed  and  rushed  to  the 
window,  where,  spellbound,  I  watched  mounted  soldiers 
filing  like  phantoms  before  the  house  —  their  long  black 
cloaks  shrouding  the  horses  and  leaving  little  of  the  ani- 
mals visible  but  their  feet.  The  gas-lamps  in  the  streets 
had  all  had  their  tops  removed,  and  with  their  torch-like 
flames  illuminated  in  a  most  impressive,  and  really  quite 
ghostly,  way  the  sombre  cavalcade.  It  was  the  escort 
bearing  the  body  of  the  Crown  Prince  from  Mayerling  to 
Vienna.  This  apparition  passed  with  extreme  rapidity, 
and  but  for  the  vividness  with  which  it  was  imprinted  upon 
my  memory,  might  have  seemed  but  a  dream  of  the  night. 


SOME  EARLY  IMPRESSIONS  11 

For  a  long  time  after  this  I  could  not  recover  my  child- 
ish cheerfulness.  Although  I  told  no  one,  at  night  I  re- 
mained with  wide-open  eyes,  staring  into  the  darkness, 
while  cold  drops  of  perspiration  covered  my  forehead. 
These  strange  events  completely  confused  my  mind.  The 
ghastly  cavalcade  haunted  me.  Why  did  mamma  wear  so 
much  deeper  mourning  than  "  Mimeli "  (this  was  the 
name  I  now  called  my  foster-mother),  who  also  wore 
black,  like  the  rest  of  the  people?  Why  was  she  so  deeply 
grieved,  while  "Mimeli"  was  quite  cheerful  again?  I 
could  not  fathom  the  mystery;  yet,  strange  to  say,  I  was 
perfectly  convinced  that  my  mother's  sorrow  could  spring 
from  no  other  source  than  the  death  of  the  Crown  Prince. 
Of  this  I  shall  have  more  to  say  later. 


N 


CHAPTER  III 

A  HOME   OF   MY   OWN 

In  the  year  whose  early  weeks  witnessed  the  events  de- 
scribed in  the  last  chapter,  a  change  was  made  in  my  sur- 
roundings, and  my  little  household  (if  I  may  call  it  by 
such  a  name)  was  increased  in  size.  First  came  the  in- 
stallation of  an  English  nurse.  Miss  Ives,  who  was  also 
entrusted  with  the  care  of  Laura  Kaiser.  Soon  after  the 
appointment,  however,  trouble  arose.  Miss  Ives  had  oc- 
casion once  to  punish  Laura  for  stamping  her  foot,  which 
she  did  by  striking  the  offender  across  the  legs  with  a 
strap.  Upon  this  Laura  rebelled,  biting  Miss  Ives  se- 
verely on  the  hand.  The  English  governess  at  once  ten- 
dered her  resignation.  This  was  not  accepted,  for  she 
was  in  possession  of  my  mother's  secret,  and  was,  more- 
over, much  trusted  by  her.  Unfortunately  for  myself, 
as  will  be  seen,  I  was  of  much  less  warlike  a  nature  than 
my  foster-sister,  and  so  Miss  Ives  was  prevailed  upon  to 
continue  in  charge  of  me,  provided  that  Laura's  nursery 
and  mine  were  entirely  separated.  This  gave  my  mother 
a  long-desired  opportunity  of  making  an  alteration  in  my 
place  of  residence,  so  as  to  bring  me  nearer  to  her.  In  the 
course  of  a  few  weeks  I  was  taken  away  from  the  Kaisers' 
house  and  installed  in  a  home  of  my  own,  with  me  going 
Miss  Ives,  a  French  governess  called  Mademoiselle  Pidon, 
who  had  been  engaged  by  Mrs.  Kaiser  to  superintend  my 
education,  Alois  Pirker,  and  some  women-servants. 
My  new  home  was  at  Lainz,  not  then,  as  it  is  now,  a 

12 


Countess  Zanardi  Landi  when  a  Child 


Her  Birthplace^  Chateau  d^Sassetot 


A  HOME  OF  MY  OWN  18 

suburb  of  Vienna.  Here  I  had  been  before.  But  this 
time  it  was  not  in  my  mother's  chateau  that  I  lived.  A 
house  near  by  had  been  taken  for  me,  a  two-story  building 
in  the  middle  of  a  fine  park,  within  whose  bounds  I  took 
my  walks.  On  the  ground  floor  was  the  hall,  a  big  sitting- 
room,  a  dining-room,  a  study  for  me,  and  a  small  draw- 
ing-room for  my  governess.  On  the  first  floor  were  the 
bedrooms  of  my  governess,  my  nurse,  and  Pirker ;  and  my 
own  bedroom,  which,  to  my  great  vexation,  was  called  the 
nursery.  This  was  a  huge,  bright  room,  decorated  en- 
tirely in  white,  the  furniture  as  well  as  the  walls,  while  over 
the  floor  extended  a  dark  blue  carpet.  The  atmosphere 
of  the  whole  house  was  peculiar,  arising  partly,  no  doubt, 
from  the  absence  of  an  affectionate  personal  presence  in 
control,  and  partly  from  the  fact  that  it  was  wholly  a 
child's  establishment.  All  provisions  for  comfort  —  nay, 
for  luxury  —  were  there ;  but  everything  was  subordinated 
to  the  ideas  of  discipline  and  instruction.  In  fact,  it  was 
a  superior  educational  institution,  not  a  home.  The  ac- 
tual mistress  of  all  was  Miss  Ives,  in  spite  of  Mademoiselle 
Pidon,  in  spite  of  old  Pirker.  Mademoiselle  willingly  let 
Miss  Ives  have  the  reins  of  the  whole  household,  for  it 
meant  to  her  relief  from  certain  responsibilities  and  the 
lessening  of  a  restraint  which  she  was  unwilling  to  endure. 
Pirker,  the  valet,  on  the  other  hand,  gave  a  grudging  con- 
sent, being  sufficiently  philosophical  to  know  that  a  woman 
always  has  the  last  word. 

Under  Miss  Ives's  rule  I  was  forced  to  arise  at  6.30  in 
the  morning,  winter  or  summer.  She  would  come  to  the 
bed  in  which  I  slept,  and,  tearing  off  the  coverings,  would 
cry  in  her  abrupt  manner,  "  It 's  half -past  six  —  get  up!  " 
at  the  same  time  shaking  me  by  the  arm  and  giving  me  no 
opportunity  to  go  to  sleep  again.     Only  half  awake,  I 


14         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

would  creep  to  my  prie-dieu,  and,  kneeling  mechanically 
before  it,  murmur  my  morning  prayers.  Her  regime  was 
probably  designed  for  my  good,  but  I  certainly  did  not 
appreciate  it  then.  Her  method  of  punishment  showed 
to  my  childish  mind  a  refinement  of  cruelty.  I  was  com- 
pelled to  be  present  at  the  selection  and  purchase  of  the 
whips  which  were  afterwards  to  be  used  on  me.  I  can  see 
now  that  it  was  not  intentional  cruelty,  but  she  had  been 
trained  in  a  school  where  implicit  obedience  was  exacted, 
and  where  the  slightest  lapse  was  severely  punished. 
Hence  she  could  never  see  that  a  rule  might  sometimes  be 
relaxed  with  advantage.  So  I  lived  in  daily  fear.  Never 
did  I  dare  to  tell  anyone  of  my  sufferings,  being  afraid  of 
further  punishment,  and  thinking,  in  my  childish  foolish- 
ness, that  my  mother  both  knew  and  approved  of  the  meth- 
ods employed.  Far  from  intervening.  Mademoiselle  fre- 
quently seconded  Miss  Ives.  Thus  my  share  of  coiTection 
was  doubled.  I  was  punished  not  only  when  Miss  Ives 
found  me  in  fault,  but  also  when  Mademoiselle  reported 
to  her  some  childish  misdemeanour.  In  fact,  my  French 
governess  was  by  far  the  more  culpable,  being  lazy  as  well 
as  deceitful.  While  in  the  absence  of  my  mother  and 
foster-parents  she  had  not  a  kind  word  for  me,  in  their 
presence  she  would  show  the  utmost  solicitude  for  my  wel- 
fare. This,  coupled  with  the  natural  deference  and  re- 
serve of  Miss  Ives,  combined  to  give  those  who  were  pri- 
marily interested  in  my  training,  and  especially  my 
mother,  a  totally  wrong  impression  of  the  discipline  to 
which  I  was  subjected.  The  servants,  including  Pirker, 
dared  not  lift  a  voice  in  my  favour,  Miss  Ives  being  all- 
powerful. 

My  mother  had  expressed  tHe  desire  that  my  education 
should  be  both  comprehensive  and  systematic.     To  this 


A  HOME  OF  MY  OWN  15 

end  I  was  placed  under  the  care  of  Herr  Hans  Hold, 
Laura's  tutor.  As  it  was  considered  inadvisable  that  he 
should  visit  me  in  my  own  establishment,  I  drove  three 
times  a  week  in  my  carriage,  accompanied  by  Pirker,  to 
the  home  of  the  Kaisers.  Here  I  was  supposed  to  spend 
two  hours  receiving  lessons  in  the  elementary  subjects. 
But  my  actual  instruction  under  this  otherwise  estimable 
teacher  failed  utterly  to  meet  my  mother's  orders.  Herr 
Hold  gave  me  long  exercises  without  bestowing  much 
attention  to  their  explanation.  Many  subjects  were  en- 
tirely neglected.  For  example,  he  taught  me  arithmetic 
for  months  and  months,  until  suddenly  it  dawned  upon 
him  that  grammar  had  not  been  touched,  when  he  entirely 
abandoned  arithmetic  and  devoted  his  time  to  grammar. 
This  is  typical  of  his  educational  methods.  Laura  Kais- 
er's presence,  too,  was  a  considerable  handicap.  She 
often  failed  to  prepare  her  lessons.  On  such  occasions 
she  would  say  to  her  mother,  "  Oh,  mother,  do  bring  in 
something  nice  for  Herr  Hold  to-day,  so  that  he  will  not 
scold  me  for  not  doing  my  work! "  And  the  indulgent 
Mrs.  Kaiser  would  always  enter  the  room,  soon  after  the 
tutor's  arrival,  with  a  silver  tray  of  cakes  and  liqueurs,  and 
would  stay  chatting  with  him  for  a  time,  so  that  Laura 
might  escape  the  penalty  of  her  neglect  of  work. 

In  addition  to  Herr  Hold  as  a  tutor,  I  had  Father  Lam- 
bertus,  a  Jesuit,  for  religious  instruction,  and  for  the 
piano  Frau  Louise  Hoffmann,  professor  at  the  Vienna 
Conservatorium. 

On  the  whole,  my  life  at  this  period  was  monotonous 
and  lonely.  I  never  met  any  children  besides  Laura,  ex- 
cept sometimes  in  the  spring,  when  I  went  with  her  and 
her  governess  to  the  Volksgarten  and  played  there  for 
a  few  hours  with  other  little  girls.     It  happened  that  we 


16         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

met  there  several  times  Julie  and  Marie,  the  daughters 
of  Prince  Montenuovo/  who  were  about  our  own  age. 
As  soon  as  my  mother  heard  of  this  new  acquaintance, 
however,  she  put  an  end  to  it,  forbidding  all  further  inter- 
course for  fear  of  gossip. 

My  summers  still  continued,  after  the  setting-up  of  my 
establishment  at  Lainz,  to  be  spent  in  the  company  of  my 
foster-parents.  My  nurse  and  governess  were  then  away 
on  their  holidays,  and  in  consequence  life  was  much  pleas- 
anter  for  me, 

1  Alfred,  Prince  of  Montenuovo,  now  Chief  Grand  Chamberlain  of  Ihe  Im- 
perial Court.  He  is  the  grandson  of  the  Archduchess  Marie-Louise  by  Adam, 
Count  Neipperg.  Their  son,  William-Adalbert,  was  created  Prince  of  Monte- 
nuovo in  1864  and  married  a  daughter  of  Count  Batthyany.  The  Neippergs 
do  not  recognise  the  Montenuovos  as  a  branch  of  ftheir  family,  not  being 
proud  of  the  connection  between  Count  Adam  and  Marie-Louise  during  the 
life  of  the  Emperor  Napoleon. 


CHAPTER  IV 

> 

MY  MOTHER  IS  THE  EMPEESS 

It  was  when  I  was  about  nine  years  of  age  that  the 
strangeness  of  my  position  began  to  impress  itself  upon 
me  with  an  insistency  that  was  not  far  from  a  pain.  The 
problems  that  presented  themselves  to  my  undeveloped 
mind  were  terribly  baffling  —  the  fact  that  I  had  two 
mothers  and  two  homes,  the  long  absences  of  her  whom  I 
knew  to  be  my  real  mother,  the  secrecy  of  her  comings 
and  goings,  the  deference  shown  to  her  by  Mrs.  Kaiser, 
the  profound  respect  of  all  my  household  for  her,  my  own 
secluded  life.     What  did  all  these  things  mean? 

Again,  why  must  I  not  tell  people  that  my  beautiful, 
adorable  mother  was  really  my  mother?  Why  must  I 
always  say  that  *' Mimeli "  was  my  mother?  Certainly 
I  was  very  fond  of  "  Mimeli,"  but  it  was  with  an  affection 
that  was  being  rapidly  obscured  by  the  ever-growing  love 
—  or  rather  worship  —  for  the  real  mother  whom  now  I 
saw  so  seldom.  These  questions  haunted  my  waking 
hours  with  increasing  persistence,  and  resulted  eventually 
in  a  chronic  state  of  mental  unrest  for  me.  "  Whom  can 
I  ask  to  explain  things  to  me? "  I  was  always  demanding 
of  myself.  I  did  not  dare  to  ask  any  of  the  members 
of  the  little  household  at  Lainz,  and  besides  these,  who  was 
there  who  could  inform  me?  Not  Laura,  for  she  knew 
no  more  than  myself.  Not  her  mother,  who  would  cer- 
tainly have  evaded  the  question  or  prevaricated. 

There  was  my  beloved  mother,  my  own  real  mother, 

17 


18         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

to  whom  I  longed  to  unburden  my  heart.  She  was  the 
one  who  must  be  able  to  set  all  my  doubts  at  rest.  How 
I  thirsted  to  ask  her  to  explain  everything  to  me  —  to  tell 
me  why  I  could  not  always  be  at  her  side.  But  the  fear 
of  making  her  sad  tied  my  tongue  whenever  I  was  near 
her.  During  her  absence  I  fully  made  up  my  mind  to 
question  her;  as  soon  as  she  came  back  it  was  always  the 
same  —  I  dared  not  speak.  Even  on  her  return  from 
Egypt,  in  the  latter  part  of  November,  1891,  after  an 
unusually  prolonged  absence,  I  could  not  find  courage  to 
put  questions  to  her.  So  the  golden  opportunity  passed 
once  more,  and  my  problems  were  still  unsolved.  But 
now,  soon  after  this,  a  train  of  incidents  occurred  which 
braced  up  my  resolution  and  determined  me  to  beg  for 
the  truth  from  my  mother,  even  at  the  expense  of  her 
feelings. 

I  had  always  been  accustomed  to  spend  my  Christmas 
holidays  at  the  home  of  my  foster-parents,  and  to  receive 
my  presents  there.  In  this  year  1891,  however,  for  the 
first  time  in  my  life,  mother  had  a  Christmas  tree  for  me 
in  my  own  home;  but  on  the  twenty-third,  not  on  the 
twenty-fourth,  as  is  customary  in  Austria.  At  the  light- 
ing up  of  the  tree  only  Laura  and  myself  were  present 
with  my  mother.  TsTeedless  to  say,  our  gifts  were  very 
splendid.  In  spite  of  this,  the  celebration  troubled  my 
mind  and  increased  my  suspicions.  Why  had  our  Christ- 
mas been  celebrated  a  day  in  advance  instead  of  on  the 
twenty- fourth,  like  all  other  people's?  The  fact  that  only 
Laura  and  myself  were  present,  instead  of  the  whole 
household,  did  not  tend  to  allay  my  curiosity.  My  final 
feeling  was  one  of  disappointment. 

Of  course,  it  is  quite  clear,  really,  why  my  mother 
moved  the  festival  forward  one  day.     It  would  have  been 


MY  MOTHER  IS  THE  EMPRESS         19 

impossible  for  her  to  absent  herself  from  the  Court  on 
this  evening  of  universal  celebration,  v^^hen  the  kindred 
of  the  Emperor,  consisting  of  my  sister  Marie-Valerie 
and  her  husband  the  Archduke  Francis- Salvator,  the 
widow  of  the  Crown  Prince  and  his  little  daughter  Elisa- 
beth, and  other  members  of  the  Imperial  Family  assem- 
bled at  Schonbrunn,  the  summer  castle  of  the  Emperor. 
Moreover,  it  was  my  mother's  own  birthday,  which  natur- 
ally made  her  the  central  figure  of  the  festivities. 

Mother's  long-continued  absence  after  the  Christmas 
tree  at  Lainz,  coupled  with  my  intense  desire  to  speak  to 
her,  made  me  keep  asking  the  time  of  her  return.  I  knew 
she  was  in  Vienna,  for  otherwise  she  would  not  have 
failed  to  bid  me  good-bye.  My  unceasing  requests  finally 
led  Mademoiselle  to  tell  me  that  she  was  ill,  and  could  not 
come  to  see  me.  Then,  of  course,  I  wanted  to  go  to  her. 
Upon  this  Mademoiselle  only  scolded,  telling  me  not  to 
make  such  a  silly  and  impossible  request.  On  my  de- 
manding to  know  why  it  was  impossible,  she  ordered  me 
not  to  worry  her.  Naturally  I  was  desperate,  but 
through  fear  of  punishment  I  kept  silence  thereafter.  I 
learned  in  later  years  that  what  had  happened  was  this. 
First,  mother  herself  was  ill  and  was  confined  to  her  bed 
for  nearly  a  month.  Then  my  sister  Marie- Valerie,  al- 
most immediately  after  the  birth  of  her  first  child,  had  a 
bad  attack  of  pnemnonia.  As  soon  as  mother  was  able 
to  go  out  again  she  came  to  see  me,  but  owing  to  her 
anxiety  about  my  sister  her  visits  were  very  short  ones. 
What  little  time  she  had  to  spare  was  not,  as  usually 
before,  spent  alone  with  me  but  in  the  presence  of  my 
nurse  and  governess,  so  that  private  conversation  was 
impossible.  The  whole  month  of  February  passed  in  this 
unsatisfactory  fashion.     On  March  1st  mother  set  out  in 


20         iTHE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

her  yacht  for  Corfu;  and  I,  none  the  wiser,  was  again  left 
alone. 

For  a  while  my  mind  was  more  than  ever  in  a  state  of 
confusion  and  perplexity.  Then  the  unexpected  hap- 
pened. The  thoughtless  words  of  a  couple  of  servants, 
overheard  by  accident,  revealed  the  mystery  to  me  with 
startling  clearness.  Does  chance  actually  help  us  some- 
times when  we  are  in  distress,  or  is  it  we  who  seek  chance? 
The  latter  is  more  probable,  for  we  take  notice  of  inci- 
dents which  before  escaped  our  observation.  Perhaps 
rather  by  instinct  than  of  set  intention,  I  listened  more  to 
what  was  spoken  around  me.  Now  it  happened  that  my 
photograph  had  been  taken  a  short  time  previously,  and  a 
copy  of  it  stood  on  my  governess's  writing-table,  in  the 
drawing-room  adjoining  my  study.  I  was  sitting  as 
usual  one  morning,  when  a  few  words  from  the  other  room 
caught  my  ear  —  and  all  of  a  sudden  my  attention  was 
enchained.  The  voices  were  those  of  my  nurse.  Miss  Ives, 
and  of  an  old  servant  Pepi,  who  was  sweeping  out  the 
room.  As  the  door  was  ajar,  I  could  hear  every  word 
distinctly. 

"  Oh,  miss,  isn't  it  a  nice  photo  of  our  little  Princess?  " 

"Princess!  What  Princess?  What  do  you  mean  by 
using  such  a  title?  " 

"  Now,  miss,"  replied  the  old  servant's  slow,  drawling 
voice,  "  do  you  take  me  for  a  fool?  Do  you  think  I  don't 
know  that  she  has  a  right  to  it?  She  is  a  '  Kaiser liches 
•Kind'  (Imperial  child),  and  I  consider  it  a  cruel  shame 
to  keep  anyone's  rights  away  from  them." 

It  really  must  have  been  a  great  effort  for  Miss  Ives 
to  refrain  from  raising  her  voice  to  the  pitch  customary 
with  her  in  moments  of  extreme  agitation  or  excitement. 
But  she  simply  said:     "  Sh  —  sh!  stop  that  nonsense  I    It 


MY  MOTHER  IS  THE  EMPRESS         21 

is  none  of  your  business.  You  will  bring  trouble  and 
disgrace  upon  us  all." 

The  old  woman,  however,  was  obstinate  and  garrulous. 
She  would  not  hold  her  tongue.  She  was  neither  a  fool, 
she  protested,  nor  one  of  those  interested  people  who  were 
always  in  terror  of  losing  a  good  job.  But  she  had  too 
much  love  and  veneration  for  the  good  Empress  to  wish 
to  bring  harm  upon  her. 

"  Be  quiet  —  I  insist  upon  it  I  "  cried  Miss  Ives  sud- 
denly; and,  without  giving  the  other  a  chance  of  further 
words,  she  hurried  out  of  the  room. 

My  brain  was  in  a  perfect  whirl.  There  was  a  roaring 
in  my  ears  like  the  pounding  of  the  surf  upon  the  shore. 
Incredulity,  amazement,  and  a  realisation  of  the  truth 
succeeded  one  another  in  my  mind  in  great  waves,  as  the 
full  force  of  what  I  had  overheard  burst  upon  me.  Then 
came  a  feeling  of  pure,  intense  joy,  such  as  I  have  never 
experienced  before  or  since.  Now  I  understood  every- 
thing—  or,  at  least,  at  that  moment  I  thought  I  un- 
derstood everything.  A  thousand  impressions  passed 
through  my  mind.  So  then,  really,  my  beloved  mother 
was  the  Empress,  and  I  was  her  child.  And,  of  course, 
if  my  mother  was  the  Empress,  my  father  must  be  the 
Emperor.  Why  had  I  never  seen  him?  What  was  the 
meaning  of  all  this  secrecy?  If  my  parents  were  the  Em- 
peror and  the  Empress,  I  must  be  a  princess.  How 
funny  —  la  princess  I  I  had  imagined  a  princess  to  be  a 
very  different  kind  of  a  person  from  what  I  was. 

Day  after  day  passed  after  this  without  my  being  able 
to  answer  satisfactorily  the  accumulating  questions.  I 
always  returned  finally  to  the  same  conclusion :  that  to  my 
mother,  and  to  her  alone,  must  I  talk  about  this.  But  she 
was  still  in  Corfu,  and  I  was  obliged  to  wait  patiently  for 


22  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

her  return.  But,  as  everything  comes  to  one  who  waits, 
so  at  last  the  long-looked-for  day  arrived  in  May,  1892. 

She  seemed  to  me,  if  possible,  even  lovelier  than  before. 
I  did  what  I  had  never  ventured  to  do  hitherto,  and 
threw  both  my  arms  spontaneously  about  her  neck,  as  if 
to  assure  myself  that  I  really  had  the  right  to  this  privi- 
lege. On  her  side  it  seemed  to  make  her  happy  that  I  had 
at  last  overcome  all  my  shyness  in  her  presence.  After 
our  first  tender  greetings,  she  seated  herself  in  an  arm- 
chair in  the  large  drawing-room,  while  I  took  a  footstool 
at  her  feet.  Full  of  anxious  questioning,  I  looked  deep 
into  her  eyes,  while  my  heart  beat  so  hard  that  it  seemed 
almost  to  suffocate  me.  I  did  not  know  how  to  begin. 
At  last,  with  a  great  effort,  I  forced  out  a  few  words  — 
something  like,  "  Oh,  mamma  dear,  I  do  love  you  so  much!" 

She  did  not  fail  to  notice  my  extraordinary  embar- 
rassment, and  grew  alarmed.  "  Weiberl,  darling,"  she 
asked,  "  what  is  the  matter?  Why  are  you  trembling  like 
this?" 

The  excitement  was  too  much  for  me.  I  forgot  all  the 
resolutions  I  had  made  to  keep  calm,  and  burst  into  tears, 
though  I  could  have  given  no  reason  for  those  tears. 
In  a  few  moments  I  regained  my  self-control  and  raised 
my  head.  Only  then  did  I  notice  how  deathly  pale  my 
mother  was,  and  how  vainly  she  tried  to  conceal  her  agita- 
tion with  a  smile.  She  urged  me  that  she,  my  mother,  was 
the  last  person  in  the  world  of  whom  I  ought  to  feel  afraid ; 
and  as  she  spoke  her  sweet  voice  had  a  magical  effect  upon 
me.  Slowly  I  began  to  tell  her  how  I  had  been  tortured 
by  doubts  for  months  past,  and  how,  as  my  perplexity  in- 
creased, I  became  more  and  more  convinced  that  the  only 
way  was  to  talk  to  her. 

Here,  I  suppose,  I  hesitated;  but  my  mother  divined 


MY  MOTHER  IS  THE  EMPRESS         23 

the  rest.  She  knew  that  I  had  found  out  who  she  was. 
So  without  further  difficulty  I  was  able  to  tell  her  how 
unexpectedly  the  truth  had  been  revealed.  But  unfor- 
tunately her  time  was  so  limited  that  all  too  soon  she  rose 
to  go.  Bidding  me  an  even  more  affectionate  good-bye 
than  usual,  she  departed,  promising  to  come  again  to  see 
me  the  following  week. 

As  she  went  out,  it  is  probable  that  she  rebuked  my 
governess  and  nurse  for  having  failed  to  gain  my  confi- 
dence; for  about  half  an  hour  after  her  departure  both 
rushed  into  the  study.  "  Ah!  petite  miserable!  "  screamed 
Mademoiselle,  stepping  towards  me,  "  we  will  teach  you 
to  listen  at  the  doors  and  gossip  afterwards ! " 

Too  much  astonished  to  move,  I  stood  staring  at  them, 
knowing  mj'^self  innocent  of  having  done  them  any  harm. 
But  before  I  could  recover  from  my  amazement,  both 
women  threw  themselves  on  me  like  two  furies,  and 
punished  me  unmercifully.  They  were  two  grown-ups 
against  one  child,  and  for  the  time  being  I  could  do  noth- 
ing but  submit. 

To  the  great  surprise  of  myself  and  the  household,  on 
the  following  day  mother  came  again  quite  unexpectedly. 
This  had  been  made  possible  by  the  postponement  for  a 
week  of  a  proposed  visit  from  my  sister  Gisela,  with  her 
two  daughters  from  Munich.  Immediately  upon  her  ar- 
rival she  rushed  into  my  study,  instead  of  waiting,  as  had 
hitherto  been  her  custom,  for  me  to  come  to  her  in  the 
drawing-room.  The  result  of  my  punishment  on  the 
previous  day  was  that  I  certainly  could  not  walk  with  the 
ordinary  ease  and  activity  of  a  child.  She  noticed  at  once, 
and  cried  in  alarm,  "  Whatever  is  the  matter  with  you? " 

My  answer  was  to  kiss  her  hands,  and  seeing  now  that 
I  was  going  to  be  avenged  on  my  tormentors,  I  smiled, 


24  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

in  spite  of  my  pain.  I  told  her  of  the  cruelties  which  my 
nurse  and  governess  had  inflicted  upon  me,  and  how  I 
foolishly  had  thought  until  now  that  she  would  not  be 
angry  with  them  about  it.  She  listened  indignantly,  say- 
ing that  now  she  understood  why  I  had  always  been  so 
reserved  and  nervous  in  her  presence.  She  made  me  de- 
scribe to  her  everything,  and  as  she  heard  the  details  of  my 
misery,  physical  and  mental,  during  the  past  years,  she 
hid  her  face  in  her  hands.  "  Oh,  what  did  I  intend  to 
do,"  she  moaned,  "  and  what  have  I  succeeded  in  doing  up 
to  now? " 

Of  the  conversation  which  followed  I  cannot,  of  course, 
assert  that  I  am  able  to  give  the  exact  words.  But  it  was 
the  longest  and  most  impressive  conversation  which  up 
to  this  time  I  had  ever  had  with  my  mother,  and  much  of 
it  seems  even  now  fixed  in  my  memory.  It  gave  a  direc- 
tion to  my  steps,  a  mould  to  my  character,  so  that  I  have 
indeed  reason  to  remember  it.  With  the  infinite  gentle- 
ness and  sweetness  that  were  all  her  own,  my  mother 
gave  me  to  understand  that  from  now  onwards  she  wished 
us  to  work  hand  in  hand.  Her  desire  was  to  make  a  cap- 
able woman  of  me,  a  person  who  could  accomplish  some- 
thing, not  a  mere  useless  doll.  She  aroused,  as  she  spoke, 
the  thoughts  which  up  to  then  had  only  hazily  crossed 
and  recrossed  my  brain.  Suddenly  I  realised  why  I  had 
felt  so  much  pleasure  in  learning  that  I  was  the  daughter 
of  an  Empress :  that  it  was  not  out  of  idle  vanity,  but  be- 
cause I  saw  that  my  exalted  position  would  help  me  to 
do  good  in  the  world.  The  offer  to  work  hand  in  hand 
with  me  made  me  truly  proud  and  happy.  The  melan- 
choly life  which  I  had  been  forced  to  lead  had  matured  my 
mind  out  of  due  season.  Thus  the  words  with  which  I 
answered  were  perfectly  sincere,  which  is  doubtless  the 


MY  MOTHER  IS  THE  EMPRESS         25 

reason  why  they  have  not  faded  from  my  recollection. 

"  You  will  lead  me,  mamma,  won't  you?  I  will  follow 
you,  as  if  blindfolded,  every  step  of  the  way.  If  some- 
times I  fail,  spur  me  on  by  reminding  me  of  the  promise 
which  I  have  given  you  to-day." 

At  these  words  my  mother's  face  lighted  up  with  joy. 
"  You  have  given  me  to-day,"  she  said,  "  the  first  real 
pleasure  I  have  felt  for  many  years,  and  now  I  believe 
that  some  Power  above  must  have  suggested  my  course 
of  action  to  me." 

I  did  not  understand,  and  my  eyes  looked  a  mute 
inquiry. 

"  Are  you  not  curious  to  know  why  I  keep  you  here  all 
alone? "  she  asked. 

I  was  to  learn  so  much  that  I  wanted  to  learn,  and  the 
thought  gave  me  courage  indeed.  I  broke  out  into  eager 
questionings.  Why  was  there  all  this  secrecy?  Had  I 
any  brothers  and  sisters?  Why  was  I  not  with  them? 
Why  was  I  brought  up  in  this  solitary  fashion? 

At  this  flood  of  queries  my  mother  grew  first  red  and 
then  pale.  She  answered  somewhat  sadly:  *'  That, 
darling,  is  a  sad  story  which  at  present  you  are  almost  too 
young  to  hear.  But  I  will  tell  you  as  much  of  it  as  I 
can  now."  And  then  she  explained  to  me  for  the  first 
time  why  she  had  kept  me  hidden  away  from  nearly  all 
the  world.  She  had  married  when  she  was  very  young  — 
only  a  little  more  than  sixteen  years  old.  When  her  first 
little  baby  was  born  they  had  taken  it  away  from  her,  say- 
ing that  she  was  not  old  enough  to  take  care  of  it  herself. 
This  was  my  eldest  sister,  Sophie,  who  died  when  she  was 
only  two  years  old.  Another  little  girl,  Gisela,  was  bom, 
and  then  a  little  boy.  These  two  children  they  also  took 
away  from  her. 


26  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

Many  years  passed,  and  then  there  came  yet  another  girl, 
Valerie.  This  time,  perhaps  because  she  was  now  older, 
they  had  given  her  permission  to  take  the  child's  education 
into  her  own  hands,  and  she  felt  very  happy.  Valerie 
was  a  dear,  intelligent  little  creature,  and  she  conceived 
great  hopes  about  her.  But  gradually  the  realisation 
dawned  upon  her  that  her  independence  in  the  matter  of 
even  this  child's  education  was  only  a  pretended  one.  She 
had  not  really  the  right  of  choosing  those  whom  she  wished 
to  have  about  Valerie,  but  was  restricted  to  a  selection 
from  among  the  names  on  a  list  submitted  to  her. 

Even  this  might  have  been  endured,  had  she  not  been 
forced  to  come  to  the  conclusion  that  any  girl  brought 
up  in  the  uniform,  systematic  manner  of  the  arch- 
duchesses of  the  Imperial  family  could  never  become  any 
other  than  a  common,  everyday  princess,  with  no  experi- 
ence of  real  life,  no  breadth  of  views,  no  deep  feelings,  and 
with  a  more  or  less  selfish  heart.  Once  more  she  was  bit- 
terly disappointed.  "  Then  other  years  passed,"  she  said, 
"  and  you  came." 

She  remained  silent  for  some  moments.  Then  in  the 
quick,  impatient  manner  so  characteristic  of  her,  she  con- 
tinued: "  This  time  I  did  not  intend  to  be  made  their 
dupe !  "  She  drew  me  towards  her  and  whispered  eagerly : 
"  You  were  to  be  my  vengeance  for  all  the  wrongs  which 
they  had  inflicted  upon  me.  I  wanted  you  entirely  for 
my  own,  not  with  a  selfish  mother's  love,  but  that  I  might 
preserve  you  from  the  useless  and  dangerous  life  of 
Courts,  because  I  did  not  wish  you  to  be  an  empty-headed, 
empty-hearted  princess.  Never  forget  this,  that  I  want 
one  day  to  show  the  world  through  you  that  to  be  born  a 
princess  does  not  only  bring  with  it  the  privilege  of  being 
flattered  by  a  vain  crowd  of  courtiers,  but  brings,  too,  the 


MY  MOTHER  IS  THE  EMPRESS         27 

necessity  of  carrying  a  heavy  burden  and  the  ability  to 
carry  it." 

With  these  words  she  rose  from  her  seat,  and  so  did  I. 
Putting  her  arm  around  my  shoulders,  she  made  me  take 
a  few  turns  up  and  down  the  room.  Suddenly  she 
stopped,  and  in  a  very  serious  voice  begged  me  to  keep  all 
that  we  had  discussed  together  a  secret  between  ourselves 
alone.  And  whatever  we  might  talk  of  together  in  the 
future  I  must  always  remember  to  keep  to  myself,  unless 
I  had  special  permission  from  her  to  mention  it  to  others. 
If  I  forgot  this,  I  might  inflict  upon  her  the  most  cruel 
sufferings. 

Our  conversation  had  lasted  for  a  long  time,  during 
which  I  had  entirely  forgotten  my  surroundings.  My 
mother  called  me  back  to  the  world  by  saying :  — 

"  Now  we  must  finish  the  business  here.  You  are  a 
clever  girl,  so  you  can  drive  alone  with  Pirker  to  the  Kais- 
ers. And  you  will  tell  Mrs.  Kaiser  that  Mademoiselle 
and  your  nurse  beat  you  so  cruelly  last  night  that 
you  are  still  suffering  from  the  effects.  Tell  her  that  yes- 
terday we  had  talked  together  longer  than  usual,  and  that 
they  suspected  you  had  at  last  told  me  all  about  their  ill- 
treatment  of  you;  that  to-day  my  unexpected  visit  was 
the  real  cause  of  my  learning  all  about  it.  Tell  her  that 
they  are  to  keep  you  until  further  orders  from  me. 
Neither  Mademoiselle  nor  Miss  Ives  are  to  be  admitted 
to  their  house.  I  will  send  them  full  instructions,  at  latest 
by  to-morrow  night." 

As  soon  as  my  mother  had  left  me  —  which  was  almost 
immediately  —  the  maid  put  a  few  things  in  a  valise  for 
me,  and  together  with  Pirker  we  drove  to  my  guardians* 
house.  What  happened  to  my  two  tormentors  I  do  not 
know.    I  never  saw  either  of  them  again. 


CHAPTER  V 

ELISABETH   OF   AUSTRIA 

At  this  point  in  my  story  it  seems  a  fitting  opportunity 
to  turn  aside  from  the  direct  narrative  and  devote  a  few 
pages  to  that  sweet  and  gracious  woman  to  whom  I  owe 
my  birth,  my  upbringing,  and  most  of  the  happiest  mem- 
ories of  my  life.  Much  has  been  written  about  the  Em- 
press Ehsabeth  of  Austria  since  the  fatal  day  in  Septem- 
ber, 1898,  when  the  assassin's  hand  struck  her  down  — 
much  that  is  foolish,  much  that  is  malicious,  and  more  still 
that  is  false.  For  the  most  part  the  inventions  of  the 
various  writers  have  gone  without  challenge;  or  if  they 
have  been  challenged  the  world  has  been  as  careless  as  it 
usually  is  in  such  matters,  and  falsehood  has  continued 
to  spread  its  poison  nevertheless.  I  wish  in  this  book,  to 
the  best  of  my  poor  ability,  to  vindicate  my  mother's  name 
from  the  charges  which  malice  or  ignorance,  or  the  two 
combined,  have  brought  against  her.  If  I  can  do  so,  I 
shall,  I  know,  discharge  but  a  minute  portion  of  the  debt 
which  I  owe  her.  But  even  that  small  payment  will  be  a 
satisfaction  to  me. 

Elisabeth-Amalia-Eugenie  was  the  second  daughter 
and  third  child  of  Maximilian,  Duke  of  Bavaria,  and  the 
Princess  Ludovica,  second  daughter  of  King  Maximilian 
(Joseph)  I  of  Bavaria.^  By  this  marriage,  the  Royal 
and  ducal  lines  of  the  Wittelsbachs  in  Bavaria  were  re- 
united, having  separated  in  the  seventeenth  century  —  the 

iThe  children  of  Duke  Maximilian  and  his  wife  Ludovica  were  eight  in 

28 


ELISABETH  OF  AUSTRIA  29 

Royal  house  springing  from  Christian  II,  Count  Pala- 
tine, and  the  ducal  house  from  his  younger  brother,  Jo- 
hann-Karl,  Count  Palatine.  As  is  probably  well  known, 
the  Wittelsbachs  are  a  noble  family  of  great  antiquity. 
They  trace  themselves  back  to  an  ancestor  in  the  tenth 
century,  though  the  royalty  of  their  senior  branch  dates 
only  from  the  time  of  Napoleon,  who  rewarded  his  ally 
Duke  Maximilian-Joseph  by  making  him  King  Maximil- 
ian I  of  Bavaria. 

Much  has  been  written  about  the  Wittelsbach  family, 
their  degeneracy  and  eccentricity,  and  the  story  of  their 
later  representatives  has  been  used  to  point  a  moral  as  to 
the  evil  of  consanguineous  marriages.  But  it  seems  to  me 
that  the  talk  about  "  inbreeding  "  is  a  very  great  exag- 
geration; for  a  study  of  the  family  tree  does  not  bear  it 
out  in  the  Royal  House,  and  the  ducal  line,  which  shows 
a  certain  amount  of  inbreeding  (if  we  include  a  reunion  of 
blood  after  two  centuries) ,  is  not  that  which  is  open  to  the 
charge  of  insanity.  As  for  the  madness  upon  the  throne, 
what  warrant  at  all  is  there  for  the  statement  that  Maxi- 
milian II,  father  of  Ludwig  and  Otto,  and  uncle  of  the 
present  King,  showed  symptoms  of  a  mental  breakdown 
at  the  end  of  his  life?  On  the  contrary,  he  died  in  full 
possession  of  his  faculties,  and  left  behind  the  reputation 
of  a  good  and  kind  ruler.     Concerning  Ludwig  II  my 

number:  (1)  Ludwig  (born  1831),  who  renounced  his  rights  to  the  succession 
in  March,  1859,  and  two  months  later  married  morganatically  the  actress 
Henrietta  Mendel,  created  Baroness  Wallersee,  by  whom  he  was  the  father 
of  the  present  Countess  Marie  Larisch;  (2)  H^lfene  (born  1834),  who  mar- 
ried the  Prince  of  Thum  and  Taxis;  (3)  Elisabeth  (1837);  (4)  Karl-Theo- 
dor  (1839),  who  married  the  Infanta  Marie-Jos6  of  Portugal,  and  was  suc- 
ceeded on  his  death  in  1909  by  his  son  Ludwig-Wilhelm,  the  present  head 
of  the  ducal  line  in  Bavaria;  (5)  Marie-Sophia  (1841),  who  married  Fran- 
cis, Duke  of  Calabria,  later  King  Francis  II  of  Naples  and  Sicily;  (6) 
Mathilde  (1843),  who  married  Louis,  Prince  of  Bourbon-Sicily,  Count  of 
Trani;  (7)  Sophie-Charlotte  (1847),  who  married  the  Duke  of  Alen^on; 
and  (8)  Maximilian-Emmanuel  (1849),  who  married  the  Princess  Amelie  of 
Saxe-Coburg-Gotha  and  left  at  his  death  in  1893  three  sons,  all  still  living. 


30  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

readers  will  hear  in  a  later  chapter  my  mother's  firm  con- 
viction of  his  sanity,  so  that  I  will  say  no  more  here. 
There  remains  the  unhappy  Otto,  whose  nominal  reign 
was  brought  to  an  end  last  year,  but  who  still  drags  on  a 
hopeless  existence  at  Schloss  Fiirstenried,  near  Munich. 
About  him  there  is  something  that  must  be  said,  however 
painful  it  may  be  to  say  it. 

Queen  Marie,  the  wife  of  Maximilian  II,  was  brother's 
daughter  to  King  Friedrich-Wilhelm  III  of  Prussia. 
She  was  therefore  a  HohenzoUern.  Now  it  cannot  be 
denied  that  there  was  a  taint  of  madness  in  the  Hohen- 
zoUern family.  Friedrich-Wilhelm  himself,  husband  of 
the  celebrated  Queen  Louisa,  was  more  than  merely  weak- 
minded,  as  the  charitable  have  represented  him  to  be.  One 
of  his  sons,  Friedrich-Wilhelm  IV,  elder  brother  of  the 
old  Emperor  William  I,  was  undoubtedly  mad.  If  in- 
sanity were  transmitted  to  either  of  the  offspring  of  Max- 
imiUan  II  and  Marie,  it  came  through  the  mother  —  not 
the  father.  Moreover,  though  the  former  Princess  of 
Prussia  figures  in  history  as  a  Queen  of  Sorrows,  she  can- 
not be  exonerated  from  being  the  cause  of  many  of  the 
sorrows,  both  to  herself  and  to  others.  Her  treatment  of 
her  sons  was  not  good.  In  the  case  of  Otto,  born  prema- 
turely at  a  time  of  great  anxiety  in  Bavaria  as  elsewhere 
in  Europe  and  for  long  not  expected  to  live,  brutality  is 
not  too  strong  a  word  to  use  of  her  conduct.  She  would 
punish  him  by  striking  him  on  the  head,  and  it  is  said  that 
one  of  the  doctors  who  examined  him  later  stated  that  he 
bore  traces  of  a  serious  injury  to  his  head  in  childhood. 
Be  this  as  it  may,  she  was  not  at  all  the  kind  of  mother  to 
look  after  such  nervous,  highly  strung  boys  as  her  sons 
were. 

It  was  not  on  the  Wittelsbach  side  of  the  family  that 


ELISABETH  OF  AUSTRIA  31 

insanity  came,  I  affirm.  Among  all  the  Royal  houses  of 
Europe  the  Wittelsbachs  were  pre-eminent  for  charm, 
kindliness  of  heart,  and  simplicity.  They  were  affable 
and  friendly  to  the  humblest  of  their  subjects.  Now  this 
is  a  trait  which  in  rulers  seems  always  to  be  regarded  as  a 
sign  of  weak-mindedness  —  by  envious  courtiers  who  see 
others  of  far  inferior  rank  preferred  to  themselves.  Talk 
is  always  spread  of  a  taste  for  low  society,  and  the  virtue 
of  simplicity  is  degraded  into  a  vice.  No  better  example 
of  this  can  be  found  than  in  the  history  of  the  Wittels- 
bachs. The  few  voices  which  have  been  uplifted  in  their 
defence  have,  I  fear,  failed  to  reach  far,  drowned  by  the 
chorus  of  those  whom  self-interest,  servility,  or  mere  mal- 
ice has  inspired  to  slander  and  belittle  them. 

My  mother  would  often  talk  to  me  about  my  grand- 
parents on  her  side.  The  Duke  Maximilian  was  a  good- 
looking,  easy-going,  and  broad-minded  man.  He  was  not 
deficient  in  artistic  tastes,  for  he  loved  music,  and  could 
play  the  zither  well.  But  perhaps  it  may  be  said  of  him, 
without  injustice,  that  he  was  somewhat  lacking  in  refine- 
ment. To  a  greater  extent  than  his  Royal  kinsmen,  he 
liked  the  society  of  peasants  better  than  that  of  courts. 
He  was  devoted  to  horses  and  dogs,  and  was  a  tremendous 
walker,  a  trait  which  my  mother  inherited  from  him  to  the 
full.  His  wife  has  been  misrepresented  as  hourgeoise, 
which  she  most  certainly  was  not.  The  adjective  might 
far  more  reasonably  be  applied  to  her  husband.  The 
Duchess  Ludovica  was  compelled  by  circumstances  — 
that  is  to  say,  by  lack  of  money  —  to  live  a  rather  bour- 
geois life,  but  it  was  very  much  against  her  wishes.  Like 
her  sister,  the  masterful  Archduchess  Sophia,  so  many 
years  the  real  ruler  of  the  Austro-Hungarian  Empire, 
Ludovica  was  a  strict,  narrow,  and  ambitious  woman.    But 


32  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

though  she  might  scheme  like  Sophia,  unhke  her  she  had 
no  scope  for  her  scheming.  Her  husband's  home  in  Ba- 
varia was  a  humble  place  compared  with  the  Imperial  pal- 
ace in  Vienna. 

My  mother  was  the  pet  of  my  grandfather,  but  did  not 
find  so  much  favour  with  my  grandmother,  whose  idol  was 
her  eldest  daughter  Helene.  Helene  received  all  the 
training  necessary  for  rank  in  life,  while  her  junior  was 
neglected,  the  Duke  not  troubling  himself  with  such  mat- 
ters as  the  education  of  his  girls.  It  was  a  great  grief 
to  my  mother  as  a  child  that  she  had  no  sister  near  to  her- 
self in  age;  Helene  was  nearly  four  years  older  than  she 
was.  It  was  her  brother,  Karl-Theodor,  two  years 
younger,  who,  among  all  the  family,  was  her  greatest  com- 
rade and  playmate.  In  his  company  —  herself  more  like 
a  boy  than  a  girl  then  —  they  wandered  through  the 
woods  of  their  summer  home  at  Possenhofen,  on  the  banks 
of  the  Lake  of  Starnberg,  and  paid  visits  to  their  friends 
among  the  peasantry.  Curiously  enough,  in  childhood 
she  was  not  very  good-looking,  and  as  she  had  been  a 
pretty  baby,  my  grandfather  used  to  repeat  to  her  an  old 
proverb,  which  admirably  suited  her  case:  "  Schone  Wie- 
gen  Kinder,  grobe  Gassen  Kinder,  schone  Leute  " —  lit- 
erally, "  Fine  cradle-children,  rough  street-children,  fine 
(grown-up)  people." 

Karl-Theodor  was  also  my  mother's  comforter  and  her 
only  companion  when  she  was  obliged  to  remain  upstairs 
in  her  room  while  guests  were  being  entertained  below. 
If  the  opportunity  offered,  he  would  steal  down  to  the 
kitchen  or  the  pantry  and  forage  for  forbidden  delicacies ; 
or  perhaps  one  of  the  servants  might  bring  ice-cream  or 
some  other  dainty  up  to  them  that  they  might  enjoy  it 
together. 


ELISABETH  OF  AUSTRIA  33 

The  story  of  the  romantic  courtship  of  Elisabeth  by  the 
Emperor  Francis-Joseph  has  often  been  told.  I  must 
say,  however,  that  what  my  mother  herself  told  me  does 
not  entirely  bear  out  the  ordinary  version.  Francis-Jo- 
seph, it  is  true,  went  to  Possenhofen  in  1853  to  see  his 
cousin  Helene,  being  entirely  under  the  influence  of  his 
mother,  who  had  no  doubt  concerted  a  scheme  with  her 
sister  for  the  marriage  of  their  children.  I  know  nothing 
of  a  meeting  between  him  and  my  mother  then,  or  of  a 
formal  proposal  by  him  for  her  hand.  It  would  rather 
seem  that  they  met  at  Ischl  in  the  summer  of  that  year, 
when  the  ducal  family  went  on  a  visit  to  their  Imperial 
relatives,  stopping  at  a  hotel  not  far  from  the  residence 
of  the  Emperor  and  his  mother.  A  dance  was  given  at 
the  grand  villa,  to  which  Francis-Joseph  insisted  that 
Elisabeth  should  come  as  well  as  her  elder  sister.  Here 
Elisabeth  happened  to  please  her  aunt  better  than  Helene 
did,  and  so,  for  once  in  a  way,  the  Archduchess  Sophia 
yielded  to  her  son's  wishes.  Doubtless  the  Archduchess 
was  influenced  by  another  motive  besides  a  preference  for 
the  younger  girl's  looks.  She  thought  that  her  youth 
would  make  her  easier  to  manage  than  Helene,  who,  like 
the  majority  of  her  sisters,  was  of  a  very  determined  char- 
acter, and  had  reached  an  age  when  she  made  the  fact 
plain. 

Mother  often  talked  to  me  about  her  wedding,  and  how, 
in  spite  of  her  pleasure  in  making  herself  beautiful  and 
being  the  centre  of  attraction,  she  still  dreaded  her  newly 
found  greatness.  Up  to  now  she  had  always  been  kept  in 
the  background  at  home.  Suddenly,  at  the  age  of  only 
fifteen  and  a  half,  she  found  herself,  as  it  were,  in  the  full 
glare  of  the  footlights.  She  had  seen  the  Emperor  but  a 
few  times  before  her  engagement  to  him,  and  his  passion 


34  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

quite  carried  her  away.  Her  happiness  on  the  day  of  her 
betrothal  was  something  which  she  could  not  forget.  And 
how  proud  she  was  when  she  had  to  attend  with  him  the 
church  at  Ischll  —  and  even  the  mother  of  her  fiance,  until 
that  day  the  first  lady  in  the  land,  was  obliged  to  yield 
precedence  to  her.  The  engagement  was  announced  in 
the  Wiener  Zeitung  the  same  day. 

Yet  with  it  this  sudden  greatness  brought  many  trials 
for  her.  From  the  time  of  her  betrothal  in  August  to 
that  of  her  marriage  in  April,  1854,  was  only  eight  months. 
In  that  short  period  she  was  called  upon  to  perfect  her- 
self in  the  knowledge  of  those  social  conventions  which 
up  to  now  she  had  so  neglected.  "  I  did  not  like  it  at  all," 
she  would  say  to  me.  "  Up  to  this  time  I  had  worn  short 
dresses  and  run  about  with  the  boys,  just  like  one  of  them- 
selves ;  and  now,  all  of  a  sudden,  I  had  to  be  a  great  lady !  " 

The  difficulty  of  her  position  was  increased  by  the  fact 
that  my  grandmother  had  wished  Helene  to  occupy  it,  and 
had  educated  her  with  that  end  in  view.  Helene  had 
overawed  my  mother  with  her  knowledge ;  she  was  versed 
in  many  matters  of  which,  as  my  mother  said,  she  herself 
knew  only  enough  to  disgrace  her.  The  only  things 
which  she  knew  much  about  were  walking,  dancing,  and 
riding.  Because  of  the  many  deficiencies  in  her  education, 
she  was  obliged  to  shelter  herself  behind  a  mask  of  digni- 
fied solemnity  and  coldness,  which  at  first  won  her  much 
admiration  in  Imperial  circles.  Unfortunately,  accord- 
ing to  her  own  account,  this  was  the  only  Imperial  quality 
she  had.  The  prevalent  opinion  was  that  she  was  beside 
herself  with  joy  over  her  new-found  magnificence  —  an 
opinion  which  was  of  equal  perspicacity  with  the  common 
estimate  of  her  intellectual  qualities.  As  a  matter  of  fact, 
she  was  well  able  to  appreciate  the  difficulties  of  her  posi- 


ELISABETH  OF  AUSTRIA  35 

tion.  She  confessed  that  her  splendour  was  indeed  a 
source  of  great  pleasure  to  her,  but  this  was  never  suffi- 
cient to  counteract  her  constant  anxiety. 

The  actual  day  of  her  wedding,  however,  remained  for 
my  mother  one  of  the  happiest  days  of  her  life.  The 
coronation  ceremony  in  Hungary  was  more  magnificent, 
but  the  wedding  brought  more  happiness.  It  was  one  of 
the  few  occasions  in  her  life  when  she  could  not  deny  that 
vanity  mastered  her.  The  more  admiration  her  appear- 
ance caused,  the  greater  was  her  joy.  The  train  of  her 
dress,  borne  by  ladies  of  the  Court,  was  so  heavy  that  she 
could  scarcely  walk,  yet  that  did  not  trouble  her.  Her 
toilet  took  hours ;  but  instead  of  this  making  her  impatient, 
each  additional  article  was  the  occasion  of  a  new  outburst 
of  ecstasy.  And  the  more  those  about  her  exclaimed,  the 
prouder  she  felt.  She  really  must  have  looked  most  en- 
chanting. I  begged  her  once  to  give  me  a  description  of 
her  wedding-dress,  which  she  did.  "  My  dress,"  she  said, 
"  was  made  of  heavy  white  brocade,  embroidered  with  gold 
and  silver,  as  also  was  my  court  train.  This  train  was  fas- 
tened on  my  shoulders  with  diamond  clasps.  I  wore  on 
my  head  a  wreath  of  myrtle  and  orange  blossoms  —  flow- 
ers which  also  formed  the  trimming  of  my  dress;  and  a 
diadem  of  diamonds,  a  gift  from  the  Emperor's  mother, 
which  she  herself  had  worn  as  a  bride." 

She  must,  I  repeat,  have  looked  enchanting.  Count- 
less brides  are  called  beautiful  upon  their  wedding-day; 
but  my  mother  was  not  one  of  those  who  owe  much  to  their 
dress.  She  was  beyond  dispute  a  beautiful  woman.  Her 
features  were  regular;  her  eyes  of  a  curious,  indefinite 
shade,  which  at  some  distance  might  be  mistaken  for  dark 
blue,  but  at  times  showed  a  yellow,  even  golden,  light ;  her 
hair  chestnut,  in  youth  almost  inclined  to  auburn,  later  in 


36  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

life  growing  darker.  In  stature  she  was  tall,  witH  a 
charming  figure.  I  always  had  the  feeling  with  her  that 
she  was  on  horseback  —  such  was  the  grace  of  her  car- 
riage. Also,  to  put  it  another  way,  she  was  more  really 
"  swan-like  "  than  anyone  else  whom  it  has  been  my  lot  to 
meet. 

In  spite  of  her  girlish  slenderness,  she  had  a  slight  ten- 
dency, perhaps,  to  grow  stout.  There  are  two  strains  of 
the  Wittelsbach  blood,  the  stout  and  the  exceedingly 
meagre.  My  mother  had  a  morbid  fear  of  belonging  to 
the  former  class.  I  would  not  deny  that  she  might  have 
become  stout,  had  she  not  trained  herself  to  keep  thin. 
She  certainly  never  was  of  the  "  skin-and-bones  "  figure 
like  her  brother  Karl-Theodor,  for  instance,  or  my  sister 
Valerie.  She  walked  a  great  deal,  which  was  beneficial  to 
her  general  health.  Other  items  in  her  system  of  training 
were  no  doubt  too  severe  to  be  good  for  her  —  though  she 
never  really  used  to  sleep,  as  has  been  alleged,  with  wet 
compresses  round  her  waist  to  lessen  its  girth  —  and  she 
maintained  her  slimness  at  some  expense  to  her  strength. 
Whenever  her  weight  exceeded  one  hundred  and  twenty- 
five  English  pounds,  she  would  deny  herself  for  days  any 
food  except  oranges.  During  these  voluntary  fasts,  she 
drank  nothing  but  an  occasional  glass  of  port  wine  when 
she  felt  weak  or  faint.  As  all  the  time  she  was  keeping 
up  her  regular  gymnastic  exercises  on  the  rings  and  par- 
allel bars,  it  will  readily  be  understood  that  she  laid  a  very 
severe  tax  upon  herself. 

Yet  in  spite  of  this,  it  could  not  be  said  that  she  was 
exactly  vain.  If  she  would  spend  much  time  thus  in  train- 
ing her  body,  on  the  other  hand  she  was  never  one  of  those 
women  who  waste  a  whole  morning  seeking  for  the  pre- 
cise shade  or  colour  which  suits  them  best,  and  who  must 


Empress  Elisaheth  of  Austria 


^•^^.jeygti^^^^ 


ELISABETH  OF  AUSTRIA  87 

be  up-to-date  in  dress  or  die.  She  did  not  run  after  fash- 
ions. Although  she  was  always  weU  dressed,  she  cared 
nothing  for  new  gowns,  and  disliked  especially  to  get  her- 
self up  for  State  occasions.  She  bought  clothes  largely 
to  benefit  the  tradespeople  and  her  own  servants.  Her 
special  abomination  was  new  shoes.  She  purchased  these 
in  quantities,  but  wore  the  same  pairs  for  months  at  a 
time,  while  the  new  ones  were  either  given  away  or  else 
sold  by  the  servants  without  her  knowledge  or  consent  — 
a  fact  which  sometimes  led  to  amusing  contretemps.  On 
one  occasion  she  asked  that  a  new  pair  of  shoes,  which  had 
very  recently  been  ordered,  should  be  brought  to  her.  She 
waited  some  minutes,  and  still  they  did  not  come.  Finally, 
turning  to  her  woman  of  the  bed-chamber,  who  had  just 
returned  after  making  inquiries  into  the  cause  of  the  de- 
lay, she  broke  into  a  laugh  and  exclaimed:  "  I  should  Hke 
to  bet  that  I  know  what  the  matter  is.  My  new  shoes 
have  gone  where  hundreds  of  other  pairs  of  mine  go. 
Never  mind,  bring  the  old  ones,  and  order  another  new 
pair  at  once ;  but  tell  the  maker  to  be  quick,  as  I  want  them 
as  soon  as  possible." 

Mother,  in  fact,  while  appreciating  her  natural  loveli- 
ness, disdained  artificial  means  of  heightening  it.  Even 
her  hair,  which  was  famous  for  its  beauty,  was  arranged 
very  plainly,  without  attention  to  the  fashion  of  the  day. 
The  French  word  soignee  conveys  better  than  any  other 
the  impression  which  she  gave  to  the  beholder.  Her  chief 
vanity,  I  should  say,  was  the  desire  to  be  individual,  just 
herself,  unlike  anybody  else;  and  in  this  she  succeeded 
most  admirably. 

To  return  to  the  position  of  aifairs  after  the  Imperial 
wedding.  The  Archduchess  Sophia,  it  has  been  said, 
probably  reconciled  herself  to  the  idea  of  having  Elisa- 


38  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

beth,  rather  than  Helene,  for  her  daughter-in-law  on  ac- 
count of  her  youth.  She  felt  at  first  considerable  sym- 
pathy for  one  upon  whom  she  looked  as  a  mere  child. 
Soon,  however,  she  began  to  find  her  a  troublesome  child, 
and  to  hate  her  for  that  youth  which,  expected  to  be  an 
advantage,  proved  in  reality  to  be  a  disadvantage  from  her 
point  of  view.  My  mother  herself  admitted  afterwards 
(I  mean  to  say  that  she  admitted  in  talking  to  me)  that 
her  extreme  youth  at  the  time  of  her  marriage  made  her 
more  stubborn  and  unreasonable  than  she  would  have  been 
had  she  been  older  —  say  twenty,  like  her  sister  Helene, 
for  example.  Yet  she  saw  a  certain  justification  for  her 
conduct  then  in  the  fact  that  the  Archduchess  Sophia  was 
utterly  heartless  and  treated  her  very  badly.  As  an  ex- 
ample of  her  tyranny  I  may  mention  the  following  story. 
My  mother,  with  whom  charity  was  a  very  genuine  feel- 
ing, would  have  liked  to  visit  regularly,  but  unofiicially, 
the  hospitals  and  other  benevolent  institutions,  and  as 
Empress  she  began  to  carry  out  her  wishes. 

One  day,  as  she  returned  from  a  hospital,  she  was  met 
by  the  Archduchess,  who  asked  her  where  she  had  been. 
On  being  told,  she  remonstrated  strongly.  JNIother  an- 
swered that  she  should  go  where  she  pleased,  whereon  the 
Archduchess  went  at  once  to  the  Emperor  and  com- 
plained of  her  behaviour.  The  upshot  was  that  it  was 
laid  down  that  in  future  she  must  always  get  her  hus- 
band's permission  previous  to  going  anywhere  but  certain 
prescribed  places.  For  one  who  always  took  the  unpleas- 
ant things  in  life  so  tragically  as  she  did  this  was  a  cruel 
blow. 

The  Archduchess  set  herself  to  alienate  her  son's  heart 
from  her  daughter-in-law.  This  was  particularly  the  case 
after  the  birth  of  the  first  two  children,  the  short-Hved 


ELISABETH  OF  AUSTRIA  39 

Sophia,  and  Gisela.  She  told  Francis-Joseph  then  that  if 
he  did  not  wish  his  wife  to  be  his  master,  he  must  prevent 
her  interfering  in  his  affairs  at  all;  and  he  took  the  ad- 
vice, with  the  result  that  an  estrangement  grew  rapidly. 
I  should  say  here,  however,  that  my  mother  spoke  to  me 
very  little  about  the  Emperor.  I  did  not  understand  why 
at  the  time,  but  I  do  now. 

Mother,  it  must  be  admitted,  did  not  play  her  role  at 
Court  at  all  well.  The  stiffness,  which  at  first  won  her 
praise  there,  was  not  an  attitude  which  she  could  maintain 
without  a  great  strain  upon  herself.  In  reality  she  was 
far  too  cheerful  and  natural  for  the  grey  old  Court.  Her 
timidity  in  such  surroundings  made  her  appear  stiff,  es- 
pecially on  public  occasions.  The  commonly  held  opin- 
ion that  she  was  of  a  serious,  indeed  too  serious,  disposi- 
tion my  mother  denounced  as  an  absolute  falsehood.  At 
the  time  when  she  became  Empress  she  was  the  most  high- 
spirited  being  imaginable,  and  as  fond  of  fun  as  she  could 
be.  But  of  course  she  could  not  give  way  to  her  inclina- 
tions in  public.  The  pose  of  seriousness  was  forced  upon 
her  by  the  necessity  of  avoiding  the  appearance  of  child- 
ishness. Nor  yet  in  private  life,  hedged  round  about  as 
she  was  by  the  terrible  etiquette  of  Imperial  Vienna,  was 
she  allowed  to  be  gay.  If  she  tried  to  be  so,  she  was  com- 
pelled to  listen  to  lectures  upon  her  conduct.  Yet  even 
reproaches  did  not  spoil  her  natural  good  humour;  she 
was  too  young  to  be  bad-tempered  for  long. 

As  time  passed,  however,  and  the  novelty  of  her  posi- 
tion wore  off,  she  grew  very  tired  of  the  monotony  of  her 
life.  In  particular,  she  resented  the  ordeal  of  being  con- 
stantly stared  at,  to  which  she  was  subjected  in  Vienna. 
The  Viennese,  in  her  opinion,  were  frightfully  inquisitive 
and  unrefined. 


40         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

I  remember  that  I  once  asked  her  if  the  same  was  not 
the  case  all  the  world  over  where  sovereigns  and  their  sub- 
jects were  concerned,  and  that  she  answered  that  she  did 
not  think  so,  for  in  other  places  people  seemed  to  have 
more  to  do,  and  less  time  to  devote  to  prying  into  the  af- 
fairs of  their  neighbours.  She  compared  the  Hungarians 
very  favourably  with  the  Viennese.  At  Budapest  she 
always  felt  that  she  was  among  friends.  To  illustrate  the 
difference  in  the  atmosphere  she  said  to  me:  "As  you 
know,  I  was  always  passionately  fond  of  riding.  In  con- 
sequence, the  loyal  Hungarians  gave  me  the  title  of 
*  Queen  of  the  Amazons.'  With  the  Viennese,  on  the 
other  hand,  my  nickname  was  *  The  Circus  Rider  ' !  "  I 
was  silent,  for  I  liked  Vienna  and  its  people  —  as  I  do 
still  —  and  was  sorry  that  they  should  make  her  feel  like 
this  about  them. 

As  is  well  known,  my  mother  became  a  great  student 
after  her  marriage.  The  Duke  Maximilian,  I  have  said, 
troubled  little  about  her  education  before.  But  after- 
wards she  discovered  that  she  liked  study,  and  devoted 
herself  to  it.  She  became  a  remarkable  linguist.  His- 
tory and  poetry  both  attracted  her  strongly.  It  was  a 
curious  trait  in  her  that,  especially  with  regard  to  the 
poets,  she  preferred  always  reading  the  same  authors  and 
did  not  seek  after  new  books.  "  I  can  always  find  some- 
thing new  in  the  old  ones,"  she  would  say.  Her  favourite 
poets  were  Heine  and  Shakespeare,  for  both  of  whom  she 
had  a  sincere  esteem.  Of  Shakespeare's  works  she  loved 
Hamlet  and  King  Lear  the  most. 

Among  the  teachers  whom  she  kept  at  different  times 
to  instruct  her,  especially  in  Greek,  two,  both  of  them 
Greeks,  have  written  books  in  which  they  have  borne  tes- 
timony to  her  abilities  as  a  pupil.     With  regard  to  one  of 


ELISABETH  OF  AUSTRIA  41 

these,  Christomanos,  however,  I  feel  it  incumbent  upon 
me  to  make  a  most  emphatic  protest  against  an  insinua- 
tion which  he  has  made.  From  his  book  one  might  gather 
that  he  was  in  love  with  the  Empress  who  employed  him, 
and  that  she  reciprocated.  Nothing  could  be  further 
from  the  truth  than  the  last  suggestion.  Dr.  Christo- 
manos was  an  intelligent  and  interesting  man,  and  she 
undoubtedly  liked  him  for  this.  But,  as  for  any  stronger 
feeling,  shall  I  be  considered  uncharitable  if  I  ask  how 
any  man  could  be  so  vain  as  to  imagine  that  she,  with  her 
passionate  adoration  for  physical  beauty,  could  be  at- 
tracted by  one  who  was  almost  a  hunchback?  I  must 
confess  to  a  feeling  of  great  indignation  that  it  should  be 
necessary  for  me  to  write  thus. 

Mother  was  very  fond  of  music  and  played  the  piano 
well.  She  was  a  great  admirer  of  Wagner,  and  on  one 
occasion  helped  him  with  a  present  of  twenty  thousand 
florins.  She  paid  a  visit  to  Bayreuth,  I  can  remember  on 
one  occasion,  with  the  express  purpose  of  hearing  Parsifal; 
and  Bayreuth  then  was  not  the  goal  of  pilgrimages  to  such 
an  extent  as  it  has  since  become. 

She  was  naturally  liberal-minded,  and,  as  will  have  been 
gathered,  anti-clerical.  She  has  been  accused  of  revolu- 
tionary, even  anarchistic,  sympathies.  But  in  reality  she 
was  only  very  "  modern."  If  she  was  revolutionary,  it 
was  in  theory,  not  in  practice.  Although  she  rebelled 
against  the  restrictions  of  Court  life,  I  very  much  doubt, 
whether,  had  she  had  the  power,  she  would  have  swept 
them  away.  She  was,  indeed,  too  impatient  to  carry  out 
such  a  reform. 

She  was,  it  hardly  need  be  said,  of  an  extremely  ro- 
mantic nature.  Of  her  sisters,  the  Countess  of  Trani  and 
the  Duchess  of  Alen^on  were  most  like  her  in  this ;  but  out 


42  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

of  her  whole  family  she  was  the  least  gifted  with  common 
sense.  She  thought  herself,  indeed,  as  is  often  the  case 
with  people  of  such  character,  very  common-sense  and 
logical,  but  she  was  far  too  much  under  the  dominion  of 
caprice  to  be  the  latter.  Capriciousness,  and  not  logic,  is 
the  mark  of  the  romantic  soul.  And,  of  course,  her  sur- 
roundings conduced  to  the  encouragement  of  her  caprices. 
She  was,  if  I  may  say  so  without  appearing  undaugh- 
terly,  like  a  beautiful  actress  spoilt  by  the  attentions  show- 
ered upon  her  —  though  it  is  not  the  English  word 
"  spoilt,"  nor  the  French  gdtee,  which  conveys  my  mean- 
ing so  well  as  the  German  verzogen. 

Nothing  is  more  unjust  or  untrue,  however,  than  the 
accusation  which  some  people  (including  more  than  one 
who  ought  to  know  better)  have  dared  to  bring  against 
the  Empress,  that  she  allowed  the  attentions  paid  to  her 
to  turn  her  head  to  the  extent  of  making  her  —  shall  I  say 
indiscreet?  Mother  was  of  a  very  solitary  nature,  and 
liked  few  people,  men  or  women,  very  much.  She  showed 
no  preference  for  the  companionship  of  one  sex  rather 
than  the  other.  She  might  take  an  interest  in  a  man,  but 
it  would  not  be  as  a  man,  but  as  a  human  character  that  he 
would  be  interesting  to  her.  The  man  might  misinterpret 
this  interest,  it  is  true;  as,  seemingly,  in  the  case  to  which 
allusion  has  been  made  a  few  paragraphs  earlier.  That 
was  not  her  fault. 

Toward  people  of  unsympathetic  disposition  she  was 
almost  careless  in  her  behaviour.  This,  I  suppose,  is  what 
some  have  called  her  arrogance.  As  for  her  alleged 
cynicism,  I  can  only  conceive  that  it  is  her  manner  of 
speech  which  is  alluded  to.  She  had  an  original  way  of 
speaking,  which  was  very  humorous  as  coming  from  her, 
and  perhaps  could  not  be  understood  by  the  undiscerning. 


ELISABETH  OF  AUSTRIA  43 

The  eccentricity  of  behaviour  which  is  imputed  to  her 
towards  the  end  of  her  Hfe  is  also  a  figment  due  to  lack  of 
understanding.  Her  impatience  increased  in  later  life, 
but  then  she  was  very  worried.  I  have  no  doubt  that  the 
one  great  cause  of  worry  was  the  uncertainty  of  my  own 
future.  Her  mother's  heart  foreboded  the  misfortunes 
which  actually  befell  me  after  her  death.  But,  anxious 
as  she  was,  it  is  not  true  that  she  lost  all  her  good  spirits 
as  she  grew  older.  Nor  is  it  true  that  the  effect  of  the 
tragedy  of  Mayerling  was  that,  in  the  conventional  phrase, 
she  never  smiled  again.  I  can  remember  that  during  our 
visit  to  the  Riviera  she  went  over  to  Monte  Carlo  and 
risked  some  money  on  the  tables.  She  did  not  cease  to 
take  pleasure  in  going  about  incognita,  and  talking  to 
people  who  never  suspected  who  she  was.  She  was,  in- 
deed, the  very  reverse  of  the  gloomy  being,  with  suicidal 
tendencies,  which  some  biographers  have  made  her  out. 
The  famous  detective  Paoli,  for  instance,  though  in  his 
Memoirs  he  has  spoken  of  her  with  high  admiration  and 
esteem,  totally  misrepresents  her  in  this  respect.  But 
then  how  could  a  man  in  his  position,  however  eminent  in 
his  own  particular  line,  be  sufficiently  intimate  in  his  ac- 
quaintance with  her  to  be  able  to  read  her  heart  ? 

Evidences  of  her  eccentricity  have  been  found  in  her 
passions  for  building  and  for  travel,  of  which  much  has 
been  written  that  has  little  relation  to  fact.  One  would 
suppose,  if  one  believed  all  one  read,  that  she  spent  a  great 
deal  of  her  life  out  of  Austria-Hungary.  Really  she  went 
abroad  only  from  December  to  March  each  year;  and  be- 
fore the  death  of  the  Crown  Prince  only  from  January  to 
March.  After  the  Mayerling  tragedy,  it  was  but  nat- 
ural that  she  should  wish  to  avoid  the  gaieties  of  the  first 
half  of  the  Vienna  season,  and  especially  the  Christmas 


44         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

festivities  of  the  family  which  would  never  see  him  again. 
It  is  true  that  she  always  travelled  about  a  good  deal 
within  the  limits  of  Austria  and  Hungary,  though  why 
that  should  be  considered  a  mania  I  do  not  understand. 

With  regard  to  her  building  extravagances  there  has 
been  gross  exaggeration.  Lainz  was  not  a  magnificent 
palace.  The  Achilleion,  her  villa  at  Corfu  (now  the  prop- 
erty of  the  German  Emperor,  who  has  made  of  the  temple 
attached  to  it  a  memorial  chapel  to  my  mother) ,  may  truly 
be  called  an  extravagance.  But  it  was  her  Italian  archi- 
tect, Rafael  Carito,  the  husband  of  a  former  lady-in-wait- 
ing to  the  Queen  of  Naples,  who  was  responsible  for  the 
vast  expenditure  of  money  upon  it.  Mother  had  intended 
to  have  a  small  villa  at  Corfu,  with  beautiful  gardens  at- 
tached to  it.  The  cost  was  not  meant  to  exceed  a  million 
pounds  in  English  money.  Under  Carito's  direction  it 
reached  more  than  three  times  that  sum,  and  the  villa  be- 
came a  miniature  palace  of  the  most  splendid  description. 
The  first  time  that  the  Empress  set  foot  in  it  she  ex- 
claimed :    "  I  shall  never  be  happy  in  such  a  place  as  this !  " 

As  a  matter  of  fact,  my  mother  knew  nothing  about  the 
value  of  money,  though  it  was  a  foible  of  hers  to  think  that 
she  did.  She  spent  it,  not  because  she  loved  spending, 
but  because  she  never  knew  what  she  was  spending.  And, 
while  she  was  being  the  most  lavish,  she  might  often  at  the 
same  time  make  some  small  economy ;  which  proved  better 
than  anything  else  could  her  ignorance  of  values. 

I  hope  that  I  may  have  succeeded  in  giving  of  my 
mother  some  picture  which  does  more  justice  to  her  as  a 
woman  —  though  the  very  word  "  woman  "  itself  seems 
to  misrepresent  one  who  had  so  much  of  the  spiritual,  so 
little  of  the  bodily  —  than  the  accounts  of  many  who  have 
taken  upon  themselves  to  write  about  her.     What  I  am 


ELISABETH  OF  AUSTRIA  45 

conscious  that  I  have  failed  to  convey  is  the  unique  charm 
which  she  had  in  her.  But  my  pen  could  not  accomplish 
that  task,  and  it  is  wiser  therefore  to  leave  it  unattempted. 
It  was  my  privilege  to  live  with  her,  if  only  at  intervals,  in 
an  intimacy  which  she  allowed  to  no  one  else  in  the  world ; 
and  for  that  very  reason  I  cannot  trust  myself  to  speak. 
Out  of  the  fulness  of  the  heart  the  mouth  is  sometimes 
silent.  We  cannot  adequately  express  that  which  we  feel 
the  most. 


CHAPTER  VI 

FRAU   VON   FRIESE 

After  the  events  narrated  in  the  fourth  chapter,  ending 
in  the  summary  dismissal  of  JNIiss  Ives  and  JNIademoiselle 
Pidon,  my  mother  spent  much  time  and  trouble  searching 
for  someone  to  whom  she  could  safely  entrust  my  educa- 
tion. During  the  months  that  she  remained  in  Vienna 
before  going  to  Carlsbad,  she  made  many  attempts  to  find 
a  suitable  governess  for  me.  The  task  proved  the  more 
difficult  because  she  wanted  somebody  who  would  stay 
with  her  for  years  and  supervise  my  training  through  girl- 
hood, a  person  of  good  social  status  as  well  as  of  high  in- 
telligence. Such  a  lady,  if  chosen  from  among  Viennese 
residents,  would  be  certain  to  be  the  cause  of  gossip  and 
of  awkward  questions.  The  problem  was  the  same  that 
had  existed  when  a  home  had  to  be  found  for  me  in  in- 
fancy. The  difficulty  had  been  met  by  the  choice  of  the 
Kaisers,  on  the  recommendation  of  Professor  Braun. 
Now  the  summer  passed  without  bringing  the  required 
governess. 

During  the  summer  months  I  stayed  with  Mr.  and  Mrs. 
Kaiser  and  their  children  at  Voslau,  where  they  were 
spending  the  holidays.  One  day  in  the  autumn  —  to  be 
precise,  on  October  26,  1892  —  my  mother's  private 
carriage  called  for  me  at  my  foster-parents'  house,  which 
was  now  in  the  Kantgasse,  and  in  it  I  was  driven  to  the 
Strohgasse  in  the  neighbouring  third  section  of  Vienna. 
We  stopped  at  the  door  of  a  small  but  elegant  mansion, 

46 


FRAU  VON  FRIESE  47 

where  I  got  down.  On  entering  the  house  I  found  my- 
self in  a  marble  hall,  the  floor  covered  with  a  soft,  thick 
carpet.  Passing  through  this  and  an  antechamber,  I  was 
led  into  the  drawing-room,  where  sat  my  mother  and  an- 
other lady. 

Mother  greeted  me  with  a  kiss  upon  the  forehead,  as 
was  her  usual  custom,  and  taking  my  hand  in  hers  said: 
**  Come  and  say  How-do-you-do  to  this  lady.  She  is  a 
very  kind  and  good  friend  of  mine,  and  from  now  onward 
she  is  to  be  the  third  in  our  league." 

I  looked  shyly  at  the  lady,  of  whom  my  first  impres- 
sion was  that  she  was  rather  imposing  in  appearance,  so 
that  I  felt  inclined  to  be  afraid.  While  I  was  taking 
stock  of  her,  my  mother  went  on.  I  knew,  she  said,  that 
she  herself  travelled  about  a  great  deal,  and  that  it  was 
impossible  for  her  always  to  have  me  with  her.  So  Frau 
von  Friese  —  the  lady  whom  I  saw  —  was  going  to  do 
her  the  great  kindness  of  taking  me  under  her  special  care. 
She  had  just  come  to  live  in  Vienna.  She  had  no  children 
of  her  own  and  felt  very  lonely,  so  she  would  look  upon  me 
almost  as  her  own  daughter.  But  I  must  know  that  it 
had  taken  some  time  to  persuade  Frau  von  Friese  to  ac- 
cept the  responsibility,  for  she  was  afraid  that  a  child  of 
my  age  might  have  already  become  too  independent  for 
her  to  manage. 

At  these  last  words  my  heart  sank,  and  I  hung  my  head. 
But  now  Frau  von  Friese  spoke.  "  I  am  afraid  your 
mother  wishes  to  give  you  a  better  opinion  of  me  than  I 
deserve,"  she  said  with  a  silvery  laugh,  which  seemed  to 
come  straight  from  the  heart.  At  the  sound  of  it  I  was  at 
once  impressed  in  her  favour  and  all  my  fears  vanished. 

"  What  your  mother  has  told  you  of  my  ideas  is  quite 
true,"  she  continued.     "  But  what  she  perhaps  does  not 


48         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

know  is  that  I  have  one  corner  in  my  heart  that  is  kept 
specially  for  little  girls,  and  where  there  is  no  room  for 
anything  else.  All  the  same,  I  have  some  special  pe- 
culiarities which  may  not  be  entirely  to  the  liking  of  the 
little  girls.  When  once  I  have  come  to  the  decision  to 
educate  one  of  them,  I  centre  in  her  ambitions  which  I  do 
not  wish  to  see  disappointed.  This  means,  in  a  few  words, 
that  I  expect  strict  obedience.  If  one  is  to  get  this  one 
must  begin  early,  or  else  the  result  is  painful  to  both  sides. 
But  I  am  not  one  who  likes  to  give  pain,  especially  not  to 
my  little  pupil,  whose  love  I  am  anxious  to  win.  I  should 
give  up  my  task  at  once  if  my  care  of  her  were  only  to 
result  in  grief  to  her." 

I  besought  my  mother  to  tell  Frau  von  Friese  how  I 
had  been  accustomed  to  show  obedience,  even  to  people 
who  were  not  at  all  kind  to  me.  She  answered  that  Frau 
von  Friese  had  already  been  told  all  about  my  late  nurse 
and  governess,  and  that  it  was  what  she  had  heard  that 
decided  her  to  undertake  my  education.  She  and  my 
mother  had  so  much  the  same  views  on  such  matters  that 
they  were  sure  to  work  together  successfully.  "  And 
you,  darling,  I  know,  will  do  your  best,"  concluded  my 
mother. 

Frau  von  Friese,  with  whom  I  was  destined  to  spend  so 
much  of  my  time  for  years  to  come,  was  a  Danish  lady. 
At  a  first  glance  one  could  not  fail  to  notice  in  her  the  pe- 
culiar characteristics  of  this  race,  which  combines  so  ad- 
mirably French  grace  and  vivacity  with  German  simplic- 
ity and  reserve.  She  was  a  real  daughter  of  Copenhagen, 
tall  and  slim,  with  a  typical  Northern  head,  a  long  oval 
face,  grey  eyes,  and  dark  hair.  Every  word  and  every 
movement  showed  the  grande  dame. 

Six  years  after  her  marriage,  Frau  von  Friese's  hus- 


FRAU  VON  FRIESE  49 

band  died,  leaving  her  childless,  but  with  a  fortune  suffi- 
cient for  her  needs.  She  had  a  charming  and  well-culti- 
vated voice,  and  as  a  girl  her  ambition  had  been  to  become 
a  professional  singer;  but  her  family  had  opposed  the  idea 
so  strongly  that  she  was  obliged  to  give  it  up.  To  fill  the 
void  left  by  her  frustrated  ambition,  she  had  read  very 
widely.  To  this  she  added  the  culture  inseparable  from  a 
life  of  travel,  to  which  her  inquiring  nature  impelled  her. 
Withal  she  was  most  womanly  and  sweet. 

It  was  while  she  was  abroad  that  Frau  von  Friese  met 
my  mother,  at  Arcachon,  in  the  summer  of  1890.  My 
mother  was  staying  at  Arcachon  imder  the  very  unpre- 
tentious name  of  Madame  Folna,  from  Corfu,  and  she 
remained  unrecognised  during  her  sojourn  of  a  week, 
taking  the  sea-baths.  The  two  women  were  mutually  at- 
tracted at  their  first  meeting  on  the  beach  and  forthwith 
entered  into  conversation,  which  informal  acquaintance 
resulted  in  their  spending  most  of  the  remainder  of  the 
week  together.  Though  parting  firm  friends,  they  lost 
trace  of  each  other  until  they  met  again  unexpectedly  at 
Carlsbad  during  the  summer  of  1892.  Mother  was  there, 
this  time  quite  officially  —  if  one  could  ever  use  the  word 
officially  in  connection  with  my  mother  —  as  the  Empress 
of  Austria,  and  while  walking  alone  in  the  woods  was  so 
fortunate  as  to  meet  Frau  von  Friese,  who  though  she 
had  recognised  in  the  streets  of  Carlsbad  her  friend  from 
Arcachon,  had  not  dared  to  call  upon  her.  My  mother, 
on  the  contrary,  was  quite  in  ignorance  of  the  other's  pres- 
ence at  the  baths,  and  was  delighted  as  well  as  surprised 
at  the  meeting. 

*'  Dear  Frau  von  Friese,  are  you  here?  This  is  a  real 
pleasure!  I  have  often  wondered  what  had  become  of 
you,"  she  exclaimed,  stretching  out  both  her  hands.     Frau 


50         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

von  Friese,  now  that  she  was  acquainted  with  the  exalted 
rank  of  her  friend,  felt  very  much  embarrassed.  But  my 
mother  soon  put  her  again  at  her  ease;  and  as  Frau  von 
Friese  had  not  a  trace  of  servility  in  her  composition  she 
remained  as  friendly  and  intimate  in  her  manner  as  be- 
fore. 

My  mother  had  been  in  a  state  of  great  anxiety  at  her 
failure  to  obtain  a  suitable  guardian  for  me,  and  looked 
upon  the  second  meeting  with  the  Danish  lady  as  almost 
a  special  intervention  of  Providence.  She  did  not  make 
up  her  mind  at  once,  however,  and  almost  a  whole  month 
elapsed  while  she  made  minute  inquiries  about  Frau  von 
Friese.  I  was  told  later  how  one  day,  as  they  were  out 
walking  in  the  neighbourhood  of  Carlsbad,  chance  brought 
them  to  an  understanding.  Frau  von  Friese  had  been 
speaking  about  her  sorrows  and  her  loneliness,  and  how 
much  happier  life  would  have  been  for  her  if  she  had 
had  a  child  of  her  own  to  watch  over  and  to  care  for; 
particularly  a  daughter,  to  whom  she  could  have  conse- 
crated her  life.  This  outpouring  of  confidences  gave  my 
mother  the  desired  opportunity,  and  revealing  her  secret 
to  Frau  von  Friese,  she  asked  the  latter  if  she  would  take 
charge  of  me. 

The  question  may  be  asked,  why  did  not  my  mother 
leave  me  in  the  care  of  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Kaiser?  The  great 
obstacle  to  such  a  course  was  Mrs.  Kaiser  herself.  She 
was  that  kind  of  woman  who,  even  towards  her  own 
children,  showed  her  love  by  many  kisses  and  caresses, 
seeming  to  forget  them  when  they  were  not  about  her. 
She  did  not  concern  herself  about  them  for  days,  but  left 
them  to  the  care  of  governesses  and  tutors,  paying  little 
or  no  attention  at  all  to  the  development  of  their  char- 
acters and  abilities.    Moreover,  she  had  one  other  marked 


FRAtJ  VON  FRIESE  51 

defect  which  prejudiced  my  mother  against  her;  a  quick, 
abrupt  mamier  and  a  tactlessness  of  speech  which  made 
every  visit  of  my  mother  (who  was  extremely  sensitive) 
more  or  less  of  an  ordeal  to  her. 

Naturally  Mrs.  Kaiser  was  much  offended  at  my  being 
quite  withdrawn  from  her  charge ;  but  as  she  was  a  woman 
of  no  depth  of  character,  her  annoyance  soon  passed.  Mr. 
Kaiser,  on  the  other  hand,  understood  my  mother's 
reasons  perfectly;  for,  could  he  have  followed  his  inclina- 
tions, he  would  not  have  committed  his  own  children  to  his 
wife's  care.  In  fact,  his  position  was  little  altered  by  my 
removal,  as  he  had  never  paid  much  personal  attention 
to  me ;  and  he  remained  my  mother's  financial  adviser  and 
the  executor  of  her  wishes  concerning  me. 

On  the  day  following  the  interview  recorded  at  the 
beginning  of  this  chapter,  I  left  the  house  of  the  Kaisers 
to  settle  permanently  in  my  new  home  in  the  Strohgasse. 
This  had  been  purchased  for  me  by  my  mother  in  the  name 
of  one  of  Mr.  Kaiser's  friends,  and  it  was  peculiarly  suit- 
able for  allowing  her  to  visit  me  in  secret.  I  still  con- 
tinued, three  times  a  week,  to  spend  two  hours  with  Laura 
and  her  tutor,  Herr  Hold,  although  the  time  was  almost 
thrown  away ;  but  this  had  to  be  arranged  so  that  I  might 
keep  up  the  appearance  of  being  the  daughter  of  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Kaiser.  On  these  days  I  usually  lunched  at  the 
house,  and  sometimes  after  this  I  went  for  a  walk  with 
Laura  and  her  governess.  With  the  exception  of  these 
few  hours  my  time  was  spent  at  my  own  home.  Besides 
these  lessons  with  Herr  Hold,  Frau  von  Friese  made  me 
study  a  great  deal,  being  not  at  all  an  indulgent  teacher. 
She  seemed  very  well  satisfied  with  me,  however,  and  one 
day  expressed  her  approval  in  the  following  words: 
"  They  may  have  ill-treated  you,  but  nevertheless  they 


52         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

have  done  justice  to  your  education."  And  I  was  as 
proud  of  this  commendation  as  if  I  had  educated  myself! 

My  Hfe  should  now  have  been  perfectly  happy,  for 
Frau  von  Friese  treated  me  with  the  utmost  kindness. 
The  only  cloud  upon  my  happiness  was  my  religious 
teacher.  Father  Lambertus.  Although  Frau  von  Friese 
felt  that  the  Jesuit  was  not  at  all  well  suited  to  his  task, 
she  did  not  wish  to  bring  about  a  change  after  so  many 
years,  fearing  to  make  an  enemy  of  him.  Father  Lam- 
bertus was  a  man  of  medium  build,  with  jet  black  hair 
tinged  with  grey.  His  cadaverous  face  was  of  a  dyspep- 
tic yellow,  and  it  really  made  one  feel  ill  just  to  look  at 
him.  He  was  the  regular  type  of  the  Jesuit  whom  one 
meets  in  Austria,  narrow-minded  and  bigoted;  and  his 
personal  manner  was  ill-tempered  and  harsh.  Poor  Frau 
von  Friese  did  everything  in  her  power  to  make  us  tolerate 
each  other,  but  the  old  priest  would  not  give  way  an  inch, 
and  I  was  impertinent  as  well  as  obstinate,  I  must  con- 
fess. However,  she  had  great  influence  over  me,  and 
through  her  kind  insistence  brought  me  at  least  to  the 
point  of  promising  not  to  answer  him  rudely  nor  to  revolt 
openly  against  the  arrogance  and  dogmatism  which  made 
his  teaching  repulsive  to  me.  Every  lesson,  notwithstand- 
ing, was  the  occasion  for  a  new  quarrel,  and  I  constantly 
forgot  my  good  resolutions  and  committed  some  grave 
indiscretion.  At  last,  naturally  enough,  my  governess 
lost  patience  and  punished  me. 

With  this  exception  my  days  passed  away  quickly  and 
peacefully.  I  often  look  back  upon  them  with  regret  as 
having  been,  perhaps,  the  happiest  of  my  life. 

A  month  after  I  had  settled  down  in  my  new  home, 
mother  again  left  Vienna  for  a  cruise  in  the  Mediter- 
ranean.    The  regularity  of  my  life  was  no  longer  inter- 


FRAU  VON  FRIESE  53 

rupted  by  the  agreeable  excitement  of  her  visits.  On 
November  27th  she  had  come  to  say  good-bye  to  me,  and 
had  great  pleasure  on  hearing  that  Frau  yon  Friese  was 
weU  satisfied  with  me. 

With  the  exception  of  Laura,  I  no  longer  saw  any 
other  children,  for  my  mother  had  given  very  strict  orders 
upon  this  point,  and  they  certainly  were  never  disobeyed. 
Of  course,  I  was  very  lonely,  for  I  did  not  even  come  in 
contact  with  very  many  grown-ups.  Besides  Frau  yon 
Friese  I  had  a  lady  as  a  companion,  a  Fraulein  Hain,  who 
had  been  a  school  teacher,  and  who  was  now  given  the  post 
with  me  in  order  that  Frau  von  Friese  should  not  be  too 
much  tied  down.  This  arrangement  gave  my  "  Aya  "  ^ 
an  opportunity  of  indulging  her  taste  for  the  opera,  and 
allowed  her  some  leisure  to  meet  her  friends  in  their  homes. 
On  such  occasions  I  used  to  remain  with  Fraulein,  doing 
needlework  or  playing  the  piano.  It  was  strictly  for- 
bidden that  I  should  talk  to  the  servants,  for,  like  most 
young  girls,  I  was  fond  of  encouraging  their  chatter.  I 
am  afraid  that  the  fact  that  I  was  forbidden  to  talk  only 
gave  me  the  more  pleasure  in  doing  so.  When  Frau  von 
Friese  was  away  from  home  I  never  could  refrain  from 
addressing  a  few  words  to  Pirker  while  he  was  waiting 
on  us  at  supper  in  a  vain  endeavour  to  make  him  lose 
countenance.  It  would  have  amused  me  immensely;  but 
he  always  remained  perfectly  grave.  I  also  tried  re- 
peatedly to  enter  into  conversation  with  my  maid  while 
she  brushed  my  hair  for  half  an  hour  every  evening.  Sit- 
ting in  front  of  my  dressing-table,  I  could  see  in  the  look- 
ing-glass the  embarrassment  on  her  face;  and  the  more 
confused  her  answers  were,  the  greater  was  my  pleasure. 

iThe  word  "Aya,"  in  its  best  Continental  sense,  means  "an  instructor" 
who  is  especially  gifted  and  cultured,  in  charge  of  a  pupil  of  high  rank.  It 
is  not  really  to  be  represented  by  the  English  word  "  governess." 


54         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

It  was  perfectly  useless  for  Fraulein  to  say  to  me,  as  she 
did,  "  Stop  your  talking,  or  I  shall  tell  the  gnadige  Frau." 

A  great  delight  to  me  was  to  go  to  the  kitchen  to  pay 
a  visit  to  Agnes,  the  cook,  a  stout  old  woman  with  an  ex- 
pression of  doglike  faithfulness  on  her  face.  It  pleased 
me,  too,  to  see  the  two  smart  kitchen-maids  in  their  uni- 
forms of  blue  or  pink,  making  a  pretty  picture  against  the 
white  enamelled  tiles  on  the  walls.  Agnes  loved  me 
dearly,  and  when,  once  in  a  way,  I  could  escape  to  her 
domain  for  a  few  minutes,  her  face  lit  up  with  pleasure, 
particularly  when  I  said  a  few  words  to  her  in  her  own 
language  (Hungarian).  For  example,  I  would  say, 
*' Edes  jo  Agnes,  nagion  ches  vagyok"  ("My  darling 
Agnes,  I  am  very  hungry  ") .  Then  she  knew  she  was  to 
treat  me  to  something  nice,  but  often  before  she  had  time 
to  do  so  one  of  the  servants  would  come  in,  calling,  "  Euer 
Gnaden,  Fraulein  is  coming."  ^ 

Most  of  the  servants  in  the  house,  I  am  sure,  had  their 
suspicions  as  to  my  rank,  but  all  were  too  well  provided 
for  to  risk  losing  their  places  through  injudicious  gossip. 
Those  who  were  fully  informed  were  Sophie,  Frau  von 
Friese's  maid,  a  quiet,  elderly  person  who  talked  very 
little;  my  own  maid,  Mina  Etlinger,  a  woman  of  thirty, 
who  was  so  haughty  towards  the  other  servants  and  almost 
everyone  else  with  whom  she  came  in  contact  that  she 
never  would  have  honoured  anyone  by  taking  them  into 
her  confidence;  and  Pirker,  the  major-domo.  The  last- 
named,  of  course,  knew  more  even  than  myself,  but  was  as 
dumb  as  an  oyster.  I  believe  he  was  so  accustomed  to 
being  silent  that,  as  with  Grimaud  in  "  The  Three  Mus- 

2  Although  literally  the  words  "  Euer  Gnaden "  mean  "  Your  Grace,"  they 
have  not  the  same  significance  as  in  English,  being  addressed  only  by  servants 
to  persons  of  rank  when  they  do  not  know  the  proper  title.  They  are  not 
usual  as  an  address  to  a  child. 


FRAII  VON  FRIESE  55 

keteers,"  it  was  an  effort  for  him  to  talk!  He  could  sit 
for  hours  and  hours  in  a  large  armchair  before  the  fire- 
place in  the  hall,  never  uttering  a  word.  He  thought  it 
his  duty  to  rise  like  a  soldier  every  time  I  passed.  And 
I,  like  the  mischievous  child  that  I  was,  used  to  take  a 
perverse  pleasure  in  disturbing  his  doze  by  entering  and 
leaving  the  hall  urmecessarily.  He  was  the  only  person 
in  the  house,  perhaps,  who  dared  to  be  independent  to- 
wards Frau  von  Friese ;  and  nothing  would  have  induced 
him  to  give  up  certain  of  his  ways  —  such,  for  instance,  as 
being  the  first  to  read  the  newspapers  when  they  arrived. 
Although  he  was  extremely  respectful  towards  her,  he 
sometimes  tried  her  patience  severely  with  his  laconic 
answers.  For  instance,  she  hated  to  sit  at  the  evening 
meal  with  the  curtains  undrawn.  To  see  to  this  was  the 
task  of  the  footman,  Leopold,  but  it  was  Pirker's  duty  to 
make  certain  that  it  was  done.  It  so  happened  once  that 
this  had  been  forgotten.  To  the  remark  of  Frau  von 
Friese  that  she  did  not  want  the  neighbours  watching  us 
at  our  meals,  Pirker  answered  coldly,  and  with  a  face 
devoid  of  all  expression,  "  The  people  will  only  see  a  well- 
appointed  table,  with  well-behaved  people  seated  at  it." 
He  never  allowed  a  table-cloth  to  be  used  twice.  If  a 
dish  had  the  slightest  crack  he  destroyed  it  at  once.  If  he 
were  told  that  it  could  still  be  used  in  the  kitchen,  he 
answered,  "  Oh,  there  are  too  many  plates  and  dishes  — 
they  get  in  the  way."  Then  he  would  relieve  his  mind 
by  scolding  the  kitchen-maids  for  their  carelessness  in 
breaking  everything.  We  had  fresh  flowers  on  the  table- 
centre  every  day.  At  the  suggestion  that  pot-plants 
might  be  used  instead  of  flowers  to  reduce  the  expense,  he 
remarked :  "  It  is  all  the  same  to  me.  It  is  not  my  house- 
hold.    Only,  suppose  Her  Majesty  should  come  here  un- 


56  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

expectedly! "     Needless  to  say,  the  suggestion  was  never 
repeated. 

Pirker  did  not  like  to  hear  the  other  servants  scolded  or 
even  complained  about.  In  fact,  he  always  shielded  them 
in  our  presence,  as  he  did  in  the  matter  of  the  undrawn 
curtains,  although  we  could  be  sure  that  Leopold  got  his 
lecture  afterwards.  This  Leopold  was  really  intolerable 
— a  regular  parvenu^  if  a  footman  can  be  a  parvenu.  To 
his  superiors  he  was  servile,  to  his  inferiors  rude  and  arro- 
gant; not  at  all  like  Pirker,  who  was  courteous  to  every- 
one. Leopold's  greatest  grievance  was  that  he  had  to 
wear  a  green  livery  while  the  older  man  wore  black.  And 
he  grew  perfectly  indignant  when,  after  five  months'  resi- 
dence with  us,  upon  my  mother's  return  from  Corfu  he 
was  finally  obliged  to  wear  a  braided  coat,  knee-breeches, 
and  white  silk  stockings  whenever  he  was  required  to  wait 
at  table  during  her  visits.  Pirker,  on  the  contrary,  would 
not  for  anything  in  the  world  have  waited  except  in  his 
black  silk  stockings  and  black  silk  knee-breeches.  He 
seriously  approved  of  this  ceremonial  attire,  and  nothing 
would  have  induced  him  to  serve  even  a  cup  of  tea  in  any 
other  dress.  When  mother  arrived  unexpectedly,  as  was 
often  the  case,  he  ushered  her  into  the  sitting-room  and 
vanished  immediately,  to  re-enter  a  little  later  in  changed 
attire.  She  was  secretly  rather  amused  at  this  singular 
homage,  and  once,  in  a  moment  of  very  good  humour, 
could  not  refrain  from  making  a  remark  to  him  about  it. 
But,  in  spite  of  her  mirth,  he  retained  his  gravity  and 
replied:  "May  it  please  your  Majesty,  I  never  forget 
what  is  due  to  my  position,  both  as  the  servant  of  your 
Majesty  and  as  the  major-domo  of  this  household.  I 
must  be  careful  in  all  circumstances  to  set  the  right  ex- 
ample to  the  other  servants." 


FRAU  VON  FRIESE  57 

Ever  after  this,  at  Christmastide,  Pirker  received  the 
same  gift  from  my  mother,  a  pair  of  silk  knee-breeches, 
with  a  gold  coin  sewn  in  a  piece  of  paper  in  place  of 
every  button  —  of  which  there  were  in  all  about  twenty- 
two. 

I  have  mentioned  already  that  the  cloud  upon  my  hap- 
piness at  this  period  of  my  life  was  the  presence  of  my 
religious  instructor,  Father  Lambertus.  As  time  went 
on  the  situation  grew  worse,  and  at  last  it  reached  a  climax. 
I  cannot  help  thinking  that  the  right  kind  of  priest  would 
have  had  a  great  opportunity  with  me.  It  is  true  that  I 
was  of  a  rather  obstinate  nature,  but  my  mind  was  very 
inquiring,  and  I  thirsted  for  information  as  to  the  pur- 
pose of  life.  I  was  forced  to  build  up  a  religion  of  my 
own,  for  the  Jesuit  father  had  nothing  to  tell  me.  The 
traditions  of  the  Church  and  the  glories  of  the  saints, 
which,  with  the  simplest  Bible  stories,  were  all  that  he 
thought  fit  to  impart  to  me,  interested  me  not  at  all.  Any 
questions  which  I  might  venture  to  ask  were  treated  by 
him  as  mere  impertinences.  One  day  matters  came  to  a 
head.  He  had  been  more  than  usually  dull  and  prosy 
that  morning  over  the  visit  of  Jesus  Christ  to  the  Pharisee, 
and  I  suddenly  broke  out  with  an  attempt  to  discuss  the 
subject  of  the  remission  of  sins!  I  had,  of  course,  at  that 
time  no  idea  of  what  the  Magdalene's  sins  were,  but  I 
boldly  asked  whether  the  washing  of  the  feet  and  the  dry- 
ing of  them  with  her  hair  were  not  a  very  small  service 
in  comparison  with  the  wrongs  she  had  done  before. 
Father  Lambertus  rose  in  his  wrath.  His  complexion 
was  no  longer  yellow ;  in  his  excitement  it  turned  to  olive- 
green.  I  continued  foolishly  to  argue,  when  he  banged 
upon  the  table  with  his  fist  and  shouted  that  these  ideas 
were  none  of  my  own  —  that  I  was  prompted  by  someone 


58         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

else,  and  that  he  had  had  enough  of  it.  I  would  be  made 
to  repent  of  it. 

Totally  unprepared  for  the  outburst,  I  shook  like  a  leaf. 
He  raved  on,  and  the  sound  of  his  voice  reached  Frau  von 
Friese  in  the  next  room.  She  rushed  in  to  find  out  what 
had  happened,  and,  taking  in  the  situation,  simply  pointed 
to  the  door,  saying  to  me,  "Go  to  your  own  room!" 
What  followed  I  did  not  hear,  though  I  learnt,  long  after, 
that  the  Father  directly  accused  my  governess  of  per- 
verting my  mind  and  setting  me  against  religion.  I  have 
no  doubt  now  that  he  had  long  cherished  ideas  of  having 
me  placed  in  some  convent,  and  that  he  had  been  trying 
all  the  while  to  lead  my  ideas  in  this  direction.  Frau  von 
Friese  being  a  Protestant  —  a  Lutheran  —  and  over  him 
in  the  control  of  my  education.  Father  Lambertus  con- 
sidered her  his  arch-enemy.  Of  course,  this  was  not  true. 
She  was  much  too  fervent  a  Christian  to  allow  me  to  speak 
disrespectfully  as  I  had  done.  Indeed,  my  mother  was 
much  more  liberal  in  her  views  than  she  was,  being  inclined 
to  the  religion  which,  for  want  of  a  better  name,  we  call 
Pantheism ;  and  it  was  doubtless  from  her  that  I  inherited 
my  ideas.  But  this  the  priest  did  not  wish  to  recognise. 
His  main  object  was  to  make  the  quarrel  so  complete  as 
to  force  Frau  von  Friese's  resignation  or  dismissal.  She 
on  her  part  strove  in  vain  to  pacify  him.  They  parted 
open  enemies. 

The  immediate  result  was  to  render  Frau  von  Friese 
terribly  angry,  and  entering  my  room  she  chastised  me 
severely  —  for  the  only  time  in  all  our  connection.  She 
then  wrote  at  once  to  my  mother,  who  had  arrived  in 
Vienna  ten  days  previously  from  Corfu,  telling  her  every- 
thing. In  the  letter,  which  Pirker  took  immediately  to 
Lainz,  she  begged  mother  to  choose  between  herself  and 


FRAU  VON  FRIESE  59 

the  priest,  saying  that  one  or  the  other  must  go,  and  con- 
cluded by  asking  her  to  come  as  soon  as  possible.  Mother 
could  not  come  at  once,  and  wrote  the  following  letter:  — 

10th  May,  1893. 
My  dear  Friese, 

I  cannot  come  at  the  moment.  It  is  too  late  now,  for 
at  three  o'clock  the  Crown  Princess  and  Erzsie  are  dining 
with  me.  But  do  not  worry  yourself,  my  dear  Friese; 
you  know  which  of  the  two  has  to  go.  As  for  Caroline, 
tell  her,  please,  that  I  am  very  indignant  with  her.  There 
is  no  punishment  too  great  for  her,  and  I  personally  order 
her  to  be  shut  up  by  herself  for  a  whole  week.  Please 
arrange  a  special  room  for  the  purpose.  I  don't  want 
to  see  her  when  I  come  to-morrow.  She  must  understand 
by  that  how  deeply  she  has  hurt  my  feelings.  It  is  dis- 
graceful in  a  girl  of  her  age. 

With  my  kindest  greetings  to  you. 
My  dear  Friese, 

Yours  very  sincerely, 

Elisabeth. 

My  whole  body  quivered  as  this  message  was  read  to 
me,  and  I  sobbed  long  through  the  night.  But  how  much 
sorer  was  my  grief  the  next  day  when  I  heard  under  the 
porch  the  rolling  of  my  mother's  carriage  wheels. 
Would  she  come  to  the  little  room  in  which  I  was  a  pris- 
oner, I  wondered?  For  nearly  an  hour  and  a  half  I 
waited,  until  I  heard  again  the  rolling  of  the  carriage 
wheels  underneath.  Then  I  knew  that  she  had  insisted 
upon  the  strict  carrying  out  of  my  sentence.  I  might 
have  known  it  before,  for  she  never  wavered  in  her  reso- 
lutions.    For  the  moment  I  thought  my  heart  would 


60         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

break,  as  I  sat  alone  in  my  prison  with  no  companion  but 
despair. 

For  the  whole  of  the  week  mother  remained  inexorable. 
Then  on  the  eighth  day  she  came  back.  Timidly  I 
entered  the  drawing-room,  but  she  took  me  in  her  arms  at 
once  and  said,  "  Come,  little  sinner ;  I  do  not  want  to  hear 
anything  more  about  this  story." 

The  rule  of  Father  Lambertus  was  over  and  done  with. 


CHAPTER  VII 

SUMMER  HOLIDAYS 

Summer  had  now  come  again,  and  brought  with  it  an- 
other change  for  me.  It  was  arranged  that  my  house 
should  be  left  in  the  care  of  the  servants.  Frau  von 
Friese  desired  to  pay  a  visit  to  Denmark,  while  I  was  to 
spend  part  of  the  summer,  as  usual,  with  the  Kaisers.  I 
was  sorry  to  go,  because  I  had  grown  very  attached  to  my 
home  and  my  kind  if  strict  Aya.  And,  worse  still,  the 
holiday  involved  another  separation  from  my  mother. 
The  weeks  immediately  preceding  my  departure  were 
spent  as  much  as  possible  in  her  company.  On  the  fine 
days  we  went  out  for  long  walks  together  in  the  neigh- 
bourhood of  Vienna.  When  it  rained  she  would  come  to 
the  Strohgasse  and  pass  all  her  spare  time  there.  I  have 
no  doubt  that  the  "  eccentricity  "  of  her  conduct,  about 
which  so  much  has  been  said  and  written,  was  particularly 
noticed  now.  How  little  did  people  understand  her  mo- 
tives I 

I  remember  that  at  the  time  she  was  suffering  from  a 
family  bereavement.  Her  youngest  brother,  the  Duke 
Max-Emmanuel,  the  pet  of  the  whole  family  in  child- 
hood and  known  to  them  all  as  "  Mapperl,"  after  the  name 
invented  by  himself  originally,  had  just  died  in  Bavaria. 

On  June  29,  1893,  mother  went  to  Gastein,  and  I  to 
St.  Gilgen,  close  to  Ischl,  where  the  Kaisers  had  hired  a 
house  for  the  holidays.     St.  Gilgen  was  at  that  time  a  nice 

61 


62         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

quiet  little  place;  in  fact,  hardly  a  regular  summer  resort 
as  yet.  It  was  still  quite  in  its  infancy  and  for  just  that 
reason  was  attractive.  Its  general  scenery  had  the  aspect 
typical  of  all  the  Salzkammergut  district  —  a  beautiful 
little  emerald-green  lake,  old  forests  of  fir  and  pine,  inter- 
spersed with  oaks,  a  small  village,  a  few  picturesque 
chalets,  and  the  whole  enclosed  by  high  mountains.  Prob- 
ably on  account  of  its  simplicity,  and  because  it  was  not 
known  to  the  crowd,  society  here  was  especially  select. 
Really  one  would  have  had  to  go  far  to  find  more  interest- 
ing people  gathered  together  in  one  small  place  than  just 
then  at  St.  Gilgen.  Among  others  spending  the  summer 
there  were  Theodore  Billroth,  with  his  guests,  Johannes 
Brahms  and  Karl  Goldmark;  the  sculptor,  Karl  Kund- 
man,  with  his  four  daughters;  and  the  Baroness  Ebner 
von  Eschenbach,  the  poetess,  who  came  bringing  in  her 
train  a  select  party  of  literary  aristocrats.  Although 
sixty-three,  the  baroness  was  extremely  vivacious.  She 
was  very  fond  of  children,  with  whom  her  obvious  sym- 
pathy made  her  a  great  favourite,  in  spite  of  her  great 
plainness.  We  spent  many  happy  hours  listening  to  her 
charming  talk. 

The  weeks  spent  at  St.  Gilgen  would  have  been  very 
pleasant  indeed  to  me,  had  it  not  been  for  my  longing  to 
return  to  the  peacefulness  of  my  home  life  —  a  longing 
intensified  by  the  uncomfortable  relations  existing  between 
Mr.  and  ^Irs.  Kaiser.  Really  they  never  did  get  on  well 
together,  but  just  at  this  time  I  noticed  it  more  than  ever. 
He  was  kind-hearted  but  very  quick-tempered,  and  his 
outbursts  were  dreaded  by  the  whole  household. 

One  day  toward  the  middle  of  July,  news  came  that 
the  Emperor  was  to  pass  through  St.  Gilgen  and  that  he 
would  stop  for  a  few  minutes  at  the  station.    The  whole 


SUMMER  HOLIDAYS  63 

place  was  en  fete.  Everyone  was  excited.  My  own  feel- 
ings were  mingled  curiosity  and  shame.  I  longed  to  see 
my  father,  whom  I  had  never  seen  in  my  life,  yet  I  felt 
that  it  was  scarcely  right  that  my  first  sight  of  him  should 
be  obtained  from  the  ranks  of  the  crowd.  As  the  hour 
of  his  arrival  drew  near,  I  felt  that  I  wanted  to  remain 
indoors,  but  I  did  not  dare  to  say  so. 

At  half-past  eleven  in  the  morning  a  telegram  came. 
Wandering  in  the  grounds,  I  had  chanced  to  meet  the 
messenger,  and  as  if  in  unconscious  expectation  of  deliver- 
ance from  my  anxiety  followed  him  into  the  house.  I 
stood  behind  Mr.  Kaiser  as  he  read  the  message,  and  I 
saw  the  words,  *'  Make  excursion  to-day."  Instantly  Mr. 
Kaiser  turned  round  and  seeing  me  said  angrily,  "  What 
a  piece  of  impertinence!  '*  But  I  did  not  mind.  I  was 
too  glad,  for  I  knew  I  should  not  see  my  father. 

I  went  out  for  the  day,  with  Mr.  Kaiser  only,  as  the 
rest  of  the  household  wished  to  witness  the  Emperor's 
arrival.  I  think  that  my  foster-father  was  secretly 
pleased  at  the  turn  of  events,  appreciating  that  it  was  not 
really  fitting  that  I  should  see  the  Emperor  in  this  man- 
ner. His  wife,  over  whom  in  such  matters  he  had  not 
the  slightest  influence,  had  seen  no  inappropriateness  in 
the  meeting.  Fortunately  my  beloved  mother,  with  her 
usual  thoughtfulness,  had  foreseen  all  and  sent  orders  ac- 
cordingly. 

Several  weeks  after  this  incident,  Frau  von  Friese,  hav- 
ing returned  from  Denmark,  came  to  St.  Gilgen  for  a 
few  days.  Words  fail  me  to  express  how  glad  I  was  to 
see  her.  I  had  felt  lost  without  her  amongst  so  many 
strangers. 

Soon  after  her  arrival,  she  received  the  following  letter 
from  mother,  written  at  Ischl:  — 


64i         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

My  dear  Friese, 

I  have  long  been  proposing  to  spend  some  time  quite  un- 
disturbed with  my  child.  As  it  is  not  possible  for  me 
to  be  very  much  with  her,  I  wish  all  the  more  to  devote 
every  minute  I  can  spare  to  her.  How  else  are  my  duties 
as  a  mother  to  be  fulfilled?  You  know  I  have  told  you 
that  I  did  not  wish  to  be  the  average  mother,  who  believes 
she  has  done  her  duty  in  kissing  her  child  on  the  forehead 
a  few  times  in  the  course  of  the  day.  I  want  to  be  her 
best  friend,  and  as  I  am  often  unable  to  be  with  her  for 
months  together,  my  only  remedy  is  to  live,  for  a  time  at 
least,  constantly  at  her  side.  In  God's  free  world  I  will 
walk  with  her  and  make  myself  mistress  of  her  child-soul. 

On  the  19th  of  the  month  precisely,  I  go  to  Langbath 
Lakes  accompanied  only  by  one  of  my  ladies,  and  you 
must  come  on  the  19th  and  bring  my  baby  to  me. 

I  wonder  what  they  will  say  about  me  this  time?  Not 
that  I  care  I 

Yours  very  sincerely, 

Elisabeth. 

In  obedience  to  this  command,  on  the  morning  of  the 
19th,  Frau  von  Friese  with  myself  and  my  maid  set  out 
for  Langbath  Lakes,  where  we  arrived  the  same  after- 
noon.    My  mother  was  there  to  receive  us. 

Langbath  Lakes  is  an  Imperial  hunting  lodge,  on  the 
shore  of  the  lakes  of  that  name.  Here  we  spent  a  week. 
How  happy  I  was  to  be  under  the  same  roof  with  my 
mother.  My  bedroom  was  next  hers.  For  a  whole  week 
we  were  scarcely  separated  for  a  minute.  I  always  went 
to  bed  at  eight  o'clock,  and  then  she  sat  beside  me,  so  that 
it  was  with  her  beloved  face  before  me  that  I  went  to 
sleep.    Waking  up  once  in  the  middle  of  the  night,  I  was 


SUMMER  HOLIDAYS  65 

astonished  to  perceive  her  still  there.  Sleep  had  not  come 
to  her  —  as  so  often  was  the  case  —  and  she  had  probably 
sat  by  my  bed  for  hours.  With  a  smile  she  kissed  me 
now,  telling  me  to  go  to  sleep  again ;  and  I,  with  a  child's 
wonderful  feeling  of  confidence  in  the  presence  of  a  pro- 
tector, drowsily  obeyed. 

My  mother  was  justified  in  her  expectations.  From 
this  time  forward  I  lost  the  last  remnant  of  diffidence 
caused  by  our  frequent  separations.  The  ties  which 
bound  us  grew  stronger  and  stronger;  death  alone  could 
sever  them  now. 

Those  were  golden  days.  The  sun  seemed  brighter 
than  usual,  the  wind  softer,  the  very  air  sweeter.  Hours 
and  hours  we  spent  wandering  through  the  woods  to- 
gether. Often  long  intervals  of  time  would  pass  in  silent 
enjoyment,  then  at  some  unexpected  beauty  of  the  forest 
—  the  peculiar  shape  of  an  old,  gnarled  oak-trunk  peer- 
ing through  the  undergrowth,  the  dewdrops  on  the  moss 
sparkling  in  the  sun,  or  some  charming  vista  revealed  by 
a  sudden  turn  in  the  road  —  mother  would  burst  into  ex- 
clamations of  pleasure. 

Sometimes  we  did  not  leave  the  neighbourhood  of  the 
hunting-box,  preferring  a  short  ramble  to  a  longer  and 
more  tiring  excursion.  On  these  occasions  mother  would 
put  her  arm  through  mine,  and  as  we  walked  along  slowly 
we  would  discuss  all  kinds  of  subjects.  I  felt  very  proud 
that  she  found  me  already  worthy  to  have  serious  con- 
versations with  her.  She  sought  for  the  topics  which 
might  interest  me  most,  social  and  philosophical  questions 
as  they  are  sometimes  called.  She  must  have  been 
amused  occasionally  at  my  original  ideas,  but  she  never 
ridiculed  them,  listening  on  the  contrary  quite  gravely, 
agreeing  or  disagreeing  as  the  case  might  be,  and  enUght- 


66  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

ening  me  on  a  variety  of  points  which  were  very  impor- 
tant in  the  formation  of  my  character. 

Although  it  was  our  custom  to  choose  lonely  paths, 
we  frequently  met  wayfaring  peasants,  who  bowed  very 
respectfully.  Sometimes  we  stopped  to  chat  with  those 
we  knew.  Occasionally  we  met  tourists,  who,  although 
not  recognising  mother,  never  passed  without  turning 
round  to  look  at  her.  Then  I  always  felt  very  proud  at 
having  such  a  beautiful  mother.  But  she  was  also  very 
particular  about  my  appearance,  making  me  dress  in 
white,  and  pay  great  attention  to  my  hair.  I  was  a  big 
girl  for  my  age,  and  my  white  cloth  costume  made  a 
strong  contrast  with  her  black  one,  so  that  it  was  quite 
natural  that  tourists  should  stop  to  look  at  us  as  we  passed. 

We  rose  early,  and  as  the  mornings  were  usually  too 
cool  to  take  breakfast  out  of  doors,  it  was  served  in 
mother's  boudoir.  She  herself  ate,  like  a  bird,  very  little 
indeed,  while  my  appetite  was  always  so  good  that  it 
amused  her  greatly.  She  used  laughingly  to  say,  "  Oh, 
Weiberl,  Weiberl,  if  you  go  on  like  this  you  will  become 
a  regular  giantess,  and  they  won't  need  the  statue  of 
Bavaria  in  Munich,  they  will  take  you  instead! " 

In  the  end  she  seriously  asked  Frau  von  Friese  to  take 
care  not  to  let  me  grow  too  stout. 

This  anxiety  concerning  my  rapid  growth  led  one  day 
to  a  chance  remark,  which  really  opened  to  me  a  new  page 
in  my  life.  Mother  had  been  saying,  while  we  were  out 
for  a  walk,  that  I  looked  more  like  a  girl  of  fifteen  than  a 
child  of  twelve.  "  You  have  inherited  this  from  the  Wit- 
telsbachs,"  she  continued.     "  Ludwig  was  also  a  giant." 

"  Which  Ludwig  do  you  mean,  mother? "  I  asked. 

"  Which  Ludwig?  Why,  Ludwig  the  Second,  of 
course." 


SUMMER  HOLIDAYS  67 

She  brought  the  words  out  in  the  quick,  impatient  man- 
ner so  characteristic  of  her,  and  began  to  walk  faster. 
[But  she  must  have  noticed  my  air  of  utter  bewilderment, 
for  she  spoke  again  in  a  much  calmer  tone. 

"  My  poor  Weiberl,"  she  said,  "  of  course  you  can't 
remember  him.    You  were  only  three  years  old." 

She  stopped  and  put  her  arm  through  mine.  Then, 
after  we  had  proceeded  a  few  steps,  she  suddenly  stopped 
again,  and  drawing  me  towards  her,  kissed  me  feverishly. 

After  this  we  both  remained  silent  imtil  we  reached 
home;  my  mother  wrapped  up  in  her  own  thoughts  and 
I  trying  to  recall  some  faint,  distant  memories.  Some 
place  in  the  country  came  back  to  my  mind,  and  there 
was  a  gentleman  in  my  mother's  company,  someone  very 
tall.  It  was  all  rather  like  the  shadow  of  a  dream  to  me, 
but  I  seemed  to  remember  that  he  took  me  on  his  knees 
and  played  with  me.  I  remembered,  too,  a  rose-filled 
garden.  But  what  I  remembered  most  distinctly  was  a 
cornflower-blue  sash  on  my  white  embroidered  frock. 
Only  in  later  years  did  it  occur  to  me  that  these  were  the 
Bavarian  colours,  that  the  place  must  have  been  the  Isle 
of  Roses,  and  my  costume  a  homage  to  the  tall  gentleman 
—  King  Ludwig  II  of  Bavaria. 

Unfortunately  this  sojourn  at  Langbath  Lakes  passed 
all  too  quickly.  It  was  necessary  for  mother  and  me 
to  part  again,  though  only  for  a  short  time.  I  went  direct 
to  Venice  with  Frau  von  Friese,  while  mother  went  back 
to  Ischl,  following  us  about  a  week  later.  This  Italian 
visit  was  quite  different  from  that  to  Langbath  Lakes. 
We  were  obliged  to  be  more  careful  about  our  meetings, 
though  we  lived  in  the  same  hotel  —  the  Hotel  de  I'Eu- 
rope.  Mother,  travelling  under  the  name  of  the  Countess 
Hohenembs,  was  accompanied  by  the  Countess  Festetics, 


68    THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

her  lady-in-waiting,  by  Baron  Nopsca,  and  by  her  private 
secretary,  von  Feifalik.  Moreover,  we  were  in  a  big  city 
and  not  in  an  out-of-the-way  country  place.  Notwith- 
standing this,  life  in  Venice  had  charms  of  its  own.  We 
bathed  in  the  Lido  waters,  and  in  the  evenings  drifted 
in  gondolas  down  the  Grand  Canal,  enjoying  the  softness 
of  the  air  and  dreaming  of  the  vanished  glories  of  the 
old  Republic,  the  silence  broken  only  by  some  whispered 
question  of  mine  or  my  mother's  answer  in  the  same  low 
tone. 

I  recall  particularly  one  of  these  evenings  in  Venice, 
when  mother  was  very  quiet  and  melancholy,  and  the 
silence  seemed  to  weigh  us  down.  We  were  sitting  in 
our  gondola,  and  instead  of  remaining  as  usual  on  my 
cushions  I  crept  up  nearer  and  nearer  to  her.  Finally  I 
plucked  up  courage  to  express  the  sympathy  which  I  was 
feeling  in  my  heart,  and  whispered  softly  in  French, 
"  Maman,  cherie,  qu'astu?" 

She  answered,  with  a  caress  of  the  hand:  "Nothing 
serious,  only  memories  of  my  youth  which  make  me  rather 
sad." 

At  once  I  guessed  that  she  must  have  paid  a  visit  to  the 
Palazzo  Reale,  to  which  she  had  long  been  wishing  to 
go,  while  at  the  same  time  shrinking  from  the  ordeal. 

"  Something  drew  me  thither  that  I  could  not  resist,'* 
she  said.  "  The  first  impression  was  not  too  painful  — 
but  when  I  went  into  poor  Ferdinand's  room  .  .  ."  She 
broke  off  abruptly,  leaving  her  sentence  unfinished. 

On  her  first  visit  to  Venice,  in  1854,  when  the  city  still 
formed  part  of  the  Austro-Hungarian  Empire,  she  had 
stayed  at  the  Palazzo  Reale.  It  was  soon  after  her  mar- 
riage, and  the  young  sovereigns  were  accompanied  on 
their  tour  by  the  Archduke  Ferdinand-Max,  afterwards 


SUMMER  HOLIDAYS  69 

the  tragic  Emperor  Maximilian  of  Mexico.  The  remem- 
brance of  Queretaro  overwhekned  her  as  she  entered  the 
room  that  her  brother-in-law  had  occupied. 

The  weeks  of  our  holiday  shpped  by  rapidly,  and  at 
last  the  time  came  for  us  to  part  again.  Mother  left  at 
the  end  of  September  for  Godollo,  the  Hungarian  Royal 
chateau  not  far  from  Budapest/  and  I  returned  to  my 
home  in  Vienna,  and  to  the  care  of  Frau  von  Friese, 

1  Godollo  has  been  spoken  of  by  some  \niters  as  if  it  had  been  my  mother's 
own  property.  This  was  not  the  case.  The  ch&teau  belonged  to  the  Emperor 
as  King  of  Hungary. 


CHAPTER  VIII 

I  GO   TO   SCHOOL 

Fkau  von  Friese  now  proceeded  to  carry  out  a  scheme 
which  she  had  been  maturing  since  her  return  from  Den- 
mark, when  she  found  me  unhappy  about  being  amongst 
so  many  strangers  at  St.  Gilgen.  Her  profound  expe- 
rience of  hfe  had  taught  her  that  a  knowledge  of  books, 
however  wide  it  might  be,  was  no  substitute  for  the  culture 
imparted  by  social  intercourse.  Also  she  felt  that  casual 
meetings  with  strangers  like  those  in  the  past  summer  had 
little  value  in  the  formation  of  character.  It  was  by 
systematic  and  regular  association  with  others,  and  espe- 
cially with  girls  of  my  own  age,  that  I  must  learn  self- 
possession  and  the  right  bearing  in  the  world.  Employ- 
ing all  her  habitual  tact,  she  urged  my  mother  to  send  me 
to  school  instead  of  continuing  my  lessons  with  Laura 
under  Herr  Hold. 

Mother  had  been  displeased  that  the  Kaisers  had  al- 
lowed me  to  meet  so  many  people  at  St.  Gilgen,  but  when 
she  spoke  of  this,  Frau  von  Friese  observed  that,  so  far 
from  this  seeming  to  have  done  me  any  harm,  on  the  con- 
trary, I  appeared  the  better  able  to  appreciate  what  I  had 
in  life.  Mother  could  not  argue  that  I  had  received  any 
harm,  and  began  to  weaken.  She  hated  and  detested  the 
very  idea  of  sending  me  to  school,  however,  for  fear  of 
what  might  happen  to  me  there,  and  protested  that  she 
could  never  feel  safe  if  I  were  under  any  care  except  Frau 
von  Friese's  own.  But  my  governess  still  fought  on,  and 
her  steady  persistence  won  the  day  in  the  end.     She  was 

70 


I  GO  TO  SCHOOL  71 

perhaps  the  only  one  of  my  mother's  friends  who  could 
persuade  her  to  alter  her  decisions. 

The  school  to  which  she  wanted  me  sent,  explained 
Frau  von  Friese,  was  a  private  one,  quite  the  best  in 
Vienna,  to  which  only  the  daughters  of  high  families,  of- 
ficial and  military,  were  wont  to  go.  "  Or  should  I  sug- 
gest the  Convent  of  the  Sacred  Heart? "  she  added  with 
a  smile. 

"A  convent?  Never!"  cried  my  mother.  But  she 
agreed  now  that  I  should  go  to  the  suggested  school,  if  it 
were  arranged  that  one  of  the  teachers  should  have  me 
under  her  special  supervision.  Accordingly  preparations 
were  made  for  my  admission  to  the  institution  of  Frau- 
lein  Alma  von  Gunesch.  Miss  Bartholme,  the  teacher  of 
English,  was  to  pay  particular  attention  to  me,  and  in 
order  that  this  would  not  be  too  obvious  she  was  appointed 
mistress  over  the  whole  class  in  which  I  was  placed. 

And  now  I  felt  very  happy.  For  years  it  had  been  my 
great  ambition  to  go  to  school,  and  nothing  gave  me 
greater  pleasure  than  starting  off  in  the  morning  with 
my  books  under  my  arm.  I  went  three  days  a  week,  for 
five  hours  each  day. 

On  the  opening  day  of  the  school  term,  October  1, 
1893,  I  was  directed  to  a  form  in  the  second  row,  with 
room  for  three  pupils.  During  the  first  hour,  from  nine 
o'clock  till  ten,  the  seats  beside  me  remained  empty,  al- 
though the  other  rows  were  almost  all  full.  At  ten  o'clock 
a  young  girl  came  in  and  looked  about  timidly  for  a  place. 
I  made  signs  for  her  to  come  and  sit  by  me,  when  Miss 
Bartholme  at  once  ordered  her  to  another  seat,  and  told 
me  not  to  take  things  upon  myself,  for  I  was  at  school 
now,  and  it  was  not  my  business  to  say  where  the  pupils 
were  to  sit. 


72  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

For  the  moment  there  was  nothing  more  for  me  to  say ; 
but  I  could  be  very  persistent  when  I  wanted  a  thing 
very  much,  and  in  three  days'  time  that  girl  was  sitting 
next  to  me. 

There  was  really  no  reason  for  my  request  not  being 
granted,  as  Elsa  von  Thyr  belonged  to  one  of  the  very 
first  families  in  Austria.  Her  father  had  been  a  field- 
marshal  who  had  died  only  one  year  ago.  Like  me,  she 
had  never  been  to  school  before,  as  she  soon  told  me.  I 
did  not  feel  particularly  drawn  towards  her  in  the  begin- 
ning, and  it  was  only  my  obstinacy  which  made  me  wish 
especially  to  have  her  beside  me.  But  afterwards  we  be- 
came fast  friends,  and  for  years  she  was  the  only  girl  to 
whose  home  I  was  allowed  to  go. 

My  first  visit  to  her  mother's  house  came  about  in  the 
following  way.  One  morning,  after  we  had  been  ac- 
quainted for  some  months,  Elsa  very  gravely  told  me 
that  she  had  written  me  a  letter. 

I  had  not  received  it,  as  it  had  been  addressed  to  the  home 
of  my  foster-parents,  and  so  I  answered  with  some  as- 
tonishment: "A  letter  to  me?  Where  did  you  address 
it?     Can't  you  tell  me  what  was  in  it? " 

"  Oh,  the  letter  was  just  for  form's  sake,  for  your 
parents  to  see,  my  mother  said." 

"  But  what  was  it  about?    Please  tell  me." 

Elsa  was  timid  in  many  ways,  and  she  hesitated  before 
replying.  Finally  she  said:  "I  sent  you  an  invitation 
to  come  to  see  me  next  Sunday  afternoon.  I  told  mother 
that  your  parents  seemed  to  make  a  great  fuss  about  you. 
So  she  said  it  was  better  to  write  a  letter." 

My  first  emotion  was  one  of  great  pleasure.  Then  a 
cloud  came  over  my  thoughts.     Should  I  be  allowed  to 


I  GO  TO  SCHOOL  78 

go?  Elsa  noticed  the  change  in  my  expression,  and  asked 
me  what  was  the  matter.     Didn't  I  want  to  accept? 

But  now  Miss  Barthohne  had  come  up,  attracted  by  the 
sound  of  our  voices,  and  inquired  what  we  were  talking 
about.  "  I  think  it  was  very  kind  of  Her  Excellency 
to  invite  Lily,"  she  said,  speaking  of  me  by  the  name 
under  which  I  passed  in  the  Kaiser  family  and  at  the 
school.  "  But  she  goes  out  so  seldom  that  she  must  first 
get  permission  from  her  parents." 

Elsa's  face  showed  some  annoyance,  and  she  asked  sar- 
castically if  my  mother  and  father  thought  I  was  made 
of  sugar. 

"  No,"  I  answered  awkwardly,  "  but,  don't  you  see,  my 
mother  does  not  know  yours." 

Elsa  burst  out  with  the  remark  that  she  would  have 
thought  that  "  ihre  Excellenz  von  Thyr  "  ought  to  be 
good  enough  for  my  mother  to  know.  She  was  very  cross, 
and  spoke  as  haughtily  to  me  now  as  she  usually  did  to 
the  rest  of  the  school.  I  on  my  side  was  raging,  but  I 
controlled  my  temper  with  a  great  effort,  smiling  dis- 
dainfully and  saying  nothing.  "If  you  only  knew!'* 
was  what  I  thought  to  myself. 

But  I  quickly  repented  of  my  behaviour.  After  all, 
was  she  not  perfectly  justified?  Frau  von  Thyr  was  cer- 
tainly just  as  good  as  Mrs.  Kaiser,  and  Elsa,  not  being  a 
clairvoyant,  could  not  guess  who  my  mother  really  was. 
I  determined  that  I  would  do  all  I  could  to  obtain  permis- 
sion to  accept  the  invitation,  and  I  made  up  the  quarrel 
with  Elsa  at  once. 

It  was  only  after  much  persuasion  that  I  got  leave  to 
go  to  the  von  Thyrs'  house.  Mother  was  not  in  Vienna 
at  the  time,  but  was  away  cruising  in  the  Mediterranean; 


74         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

so  that  Frau  von  Friese  had  to  take  the  responsibility  in 
the  matter  upon  herself.  I  coaxed  and  coaxed  her,  until 
finally  she  decided  to  confer  with  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Kaiser. 
My  foster-father  had  to  make  inquiries  about  the  family, 
and  after  he  found  out  that  everything  was  satisfactory, 
they  told  me  that  I  might  go,  but  that  Mrs.  Kaiser,  as 
my  supposed  mother,  must  accompany  me  on  my  first 
visit. 

My  new  friends  resided  in  the  district  of  Vienna  which 
is  called  "  The  Cottage,"  where  they  had  a  mansion  in 
the  middle  of  a  beautiful  park,  several  acres  in  extent. 
Elsa's  mother  lived  a  very  retired  life,  seeing  only  her  in- 
timate friends,  all  of  them  distinguished  people.  Really 
it  seemed  that,  had  one  searched  all  over  Vienna,  a  more 
suitable  girl  friend  could  not  have  been  found  for  me. 

On  her  return  from  the  Riviera,  toward  the  end  of 
April,  mother  found  me  greatly  changed  for  the  better, 
and  was  very  glad  that  she  had  consented  to  send  me  to 
school.  I  was  no  longer  so  childish  and  unformed,  but 
had  begun  to  be  more  womanly  in  manner. 

"  You  are  always  right,  and  I  am  always  wrong,  my 
dear  Friese,"  she  said  to  my  faithful  Aya.  "  From  this 
time  on  I  shall  never  veto  anything  that  you  may  decide 
on  Lintchi's  behalf.^  I  can  see  clearly  now  that  I  under- 
stand nothing  about  the  ways  of  the  world.  But  there 
you  are  —  our  education  unfits  us  for  real  life !  You  are 
bringing  up  my  girl  as  I  have  always  intended  to  have 
her  brought  up.  I  see  now  that  I  personally  should  never 
have  had  the  energy  necessary  for  success.  With  all  my 
good  intentions,  I  should  probably  have  made  out  of  her 

1  My  mother  never  called  me  Lily,  but  usually  Lintchi  —  or  Linka,  which 
is  the  Hungarian  form  of  the  diminutive  of  Caroline. 


I  GO  TO  SCHOOL  75 

nothing  but  a  commonplace,  everyday  princess,  after  all. 
You  really  are  my  guardian  angel,  sent  to  help  me  in  my 
time  of  need! " 

Frau  von  Friese  was  very  pleased  with  this  expression 
of  approval.  But,  as  I  have  said  before,  there  was  not  a 
trace  of  servility  in  her  nature  —  which  was  the  chief 
reason  why  my  mother  loved  her  so  much  —  and  she  an- 
swered: "  As  your  Majesty  is  so  kind  as  to  praise  what 
I  have  done,  I  will  be  frank  and  admit  that  you  have 
sometimes  made  matters  a  little  difficult  for  me.  That 
renders  your  Majesty's  approval  all  the  more  valuable 
now,  and  you  can  give  me  no  greater  proof  of  your  con- 
fidence than  by  allowing  me  to  carry  out  my  plans  for 
Lily  in  the  future." 

"  You  shall,  my  dear  Friese.  It  is  time  that  we  should 
show  the  world  that  our  class  knows  its  duty  to  be  to  edu- 
cate our  children  to  help  their  f ellowmen.  These  children 
must  not  be  conceited  because  of  their  rank,  but  must 
realize  that  if  fate  has  given  them  a  leading  place  it  is 
in  order  that  they  should  set  an  example  by  their  char- 
acter and  conduct." 

She  pulled  me  toward  her  and  whispered  in  my  ear, 
"  Now  life  really  has  an  object  for  me! " 

There  are  occasions,  not  very  remarkable  in  themselves, 
which  nevertheless  greatly  impress  the  mind  of  a  child. 
My  mother's  remarks  were  the  last  link  in  a  chain  of  in- 
fluences which  helped  to  mould  my  character.  My  regu- 
lar hfe,  and  freedom  from  the  fear  of  punishment;  the 
good  rule  of  Frau  von  Friese ;  the  greater  intimacy  with 
my  mother;  and  last,  but  by  no  means  least,  my  inter- 
course with  other  children  of  my  own  age  —  these  were 
the  other  links.     From  this  time  forward  I  began  to  ob- 


76         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

serve  myself  more  closely,  and  to  think,  quite  without  con- 
ceit, with  regard  to  every  action  of  mine,  "  Is  this  worthy 
of  an  archduchess  ?  " 

At  the  end  of  May  my  mother  and  I  went  to  Munich 
for  three  days.  We  lived  in  the  "  Vier  Jahreszeiten  " 
Hotel.  The  first  two  days  my  mother  was  in  rare  good 
spirits  such  as  were  seldom  hers.  On  the  third  we  went 
together  to  the  sepulchre  of  Ludwig  II.  She  was  en- 
tirely changed  —  bowed  down  with  grief,  deathly  pale, 
feeble,  and  languid.  We  both  knelt  down  at  the  foot  of 
the  tomb,  when,  taking  my  two  hands,  she  placed  them 
upon  it,  with  her  hands  resting  on  mine.  So  we  remained 
some  little  time.  On  rising  we  stood  still  for  a  moment; 
and  then  finally  she  spoke,  with  so  mournful  a  solemnity 
that  I  was  perplexed  and  oppressed. 

"  My  child,  remember  that  if  ever  at  any  time  you  come 
again  to  Munich  you  must  come  here.  This  is  a  sacred 
duty  which  your  mother  lays  upon  you." 

Then  she  took  my  arm,  and  without  another  word  we 
walked  out. 


CHAPTER  IX 

AN  accident;  and  a  visit  to  the  eiveeea 

The  first  summer  after  I  went  to  school  I  had  no  desire 
for  the  holidays.  The  chief  reason  for  this  was  that  I 
knew  that  I  should  not  be  with  my  mother.  She  went 
this  year  to  Madonna  di  Campiglio  in  the  Tyrol.  It  had 
been  her  intention  that  I  should  follow  her  there,  but  at 
the  last  moment  it  was  decided  that  she  should  be  accom- 
panied by  a  large  suite,  and  that  the  Emperor  should  join 
her  shortly  afterwards.  It  was  therefore  out  of  the  ques- 
tion for  me  to  be  with  her  there.  ]My  disappointment 
was  very  great,  and  the  question  tormented  me,  "  What 
was  to  become  of  me?  '*  I  secretly  hoped  that  I  should 
not  have  to  spend  the  summer  with  the  Kaisers.  I  had 
forgotten  the  necessity  of  keeping  up  appearances. 
When  Frau  von  Friese  told  me  that  it  had  been  arranged 
that  the  Kaisers  should  take  me  with  them  again,  I  was 
plunged  in  despair. 

"  I  know  that  it  is  hard  for  you,  my  dear,"  she  said, 
"  but  it  is  just  for  that  reason  that  I  wish  you  to  go.  If 
you  had  really  enjoyed  the  irregular  life  of  last  summer 
and  had  wanted  to  go,  it  would  have  been  my  duty  to  for- 
bid it.  You  must  learn,  you  know,  to  bow  to  the  inevi- 
table." 

This  was  her  system,  for  the  good  of  my  character. 
So  I  went  away  with  the  Kaisers  once  more.  Good  luck, 
however,  befel  us  —  if  it  is  not  hard-hearted  of  me  to  say 
so  —  for  toward  the  end  of  July  Mrs.  Kaiser  had  such 

77 


78         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

trouble  with  her  eyes  that  she  was  obhged  to  go  to  a  sana- 
torium at  Salzburg.  At  first  it  was  thought  that  this 
would  be  only  for  a  short  time,  and  I  was  left  with  Laura 
under  the  care  of  her  governess.  But  as  weeks  passed  by 
with  little  or  no  improvement  in  Mrs.  Kaiser's  condition, 
Frau  von  Friese,  who  had  only  just  returned  from  an- 
other visit  to  her  own  country,  thought  it  unwise  to  leave 
me  any  longer  without  a  special  guardian  to  take  charge 
of  me,  and  so  came  to  fetch  me  away.  The  rest  of  the 
summer  we  spent  together  at  Gmunden,  which  is  quite 
near  to  Ischl,  so  that  we  were  able  to  see  my  mother  as 
often  as  she  could  manage  to  get  away  from  her  suite. 

At  the  beginning  of  September  mother  proposed  to 
take  me  with  her  on  a  visit  to  Corfu.  Again  fate  inter- 
yened  to  keep  us  apart.  At  the  last  moment  my  sister 
Valerie  and  her  husband,  Francis- Salvator,  announced  to 
my  mother  their  intention  of  spending  September  with 
her.     This  was  a  great  disappointment  to  us  both. 

In  October  I  returned  to  school.  I  was  glad  to  meet 
Elsa  again,  with  whom  I  had  kept  up  a  regular  corre- 
spondence during  the  summer.  Everything  seemed  to  go 
on  just  the  same  as  before  the  holidays.  In  the  mean- 
while, mother,  who  had  gone  from  Corfu  to  GodoUo,  re- 
turned to  Vienna  on  November  3rd,  so  as  to  be  able  to 
spend  the  4th  (which  is  the  name-day  of  my  patron,  St. 
Charles)  as  usual  with  me.  This  time  I  received  my  first 
present  of  any  value  except  the  unset  six-carat  diamond, 
which  was  always  purchased  for  me  on  that  day  as  for  all 
the  archduchesses  of  the  Austrian  Imperial  family.  My 
new  present  was  a  pretty  string  of  pearls,  each  the  size  of 
a  pea. 

A  few  days  after,  on  November  7th,  I  was  alone  in  my 
study  with  Frau  von  Friese  when  Pirker  announced  a 


A  VISIT  TO  THE  RIVIERA  79 

visitor  to  see  her.  This  visit  was  quite  unexpected,  and  it 
left  me,  as  very  rarely  happened,  alone  in  my  room, 
Fraulein  Hain  being  out  for  the  day.  Now,  like  most 
girls,  I  loved  to  arrange  things  to  suit  my  own  taste. 
There  was  a  picture  on  the  wall  which  was  not  hung  to  my 
fancy,  and  I  determined  to  use  this  moment  of  freedom 
to  change  its  position  myself.  I  called  Leopold  to  bring 
me  a  ladder;  but,  as  he  was  busy  or  probably  too  lazy  to 
obey,  he  sent  it  to  me  by  one  of  the  maids.  Mina,  who 
had  seen  the  girl  with  the  ladder,  followed  her  into  the 
room,  and  begged  me  to  wait  for  Frau  von  Friese's  per- 
mission. But  I  laughed,  and  ordered  her  to  stand  near 
the  door  and  give  me  warning  if  footsteps  should  be  heard 
approaching.  The  ladder  was  one  of  those  double  ones, 
and  in  my  hurry  I  forgot  to  put  the  crutch  in.  I  had 
climbed  up,  and  was  leaning  over  to  lift  the  picture 
when  Mina  sounded  her  note  of  warning,  "Die  Gnadige 
kommt"  (Madame  is  coming).  I  tried  to  get  down 
quickly,  and  in  my  haste  caused  the  ladder  to  slip,  throw- 
ing me  heavily  to  the  floor.  I  tried  to  rise,  but  in  vain. 
Somehow,  I  had  hurt  my  back.  At  this  very  moment 
Frau  von  Friese  entered  the  room.  She  stared  at  me  ter- 
rified. Then,  growing  angry,  she  exclaimed :  "  Get  up, 
you  careless  girl.  What  were  you  doing  with  that  lad- 
der?" 

"  I  can't  get  up,"  I  answered. 

My  governess  was  naturally  pale,  but  at  my  words  she 
became  as  white  as  chalk.  Mina  had  now  hurried  to  my 
side,  and  cried  reproachfully:  "What  did  I  say?  But, 
of  course,  no  one  ever  listens  to  me  I"  The  remark,  no 
doubt,  was  meant  not  so  much  to  cast  the  blame  upon  me 
as  to  exonerate  herself  from  the  charge  of  allowing  me  to 
use  the  ladder  in  the  absence  of  Frau  von  Friese. 


80         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

iTHey  put  me  to  bed  with  considerable  difficulty,  every 
movement  causing  me  great  pain.  Then  Frau  von  Friese 
got  Mr.  Kaiser  to  summon  Professor  Lorenz,  the  famous 
surgeon.  The  Professor  declared  that  my  back  had  been 
severely  strained,  and  that  I  must  be  put  into  plaster  at 
once  —  a  proceeding  which  was  so  excruciating  that  I  had 
to  clench  my  teeth  to  prevent  myself  from  crying  out. 

After  the  Professor's  departure  Frau  von  Friese  said 
despairingly:  "  Now  I  must  inform  Her  Majesty. 
What  will  she  say? "  This  was  probably  more  for  the 
benefit  of  Fraulein,  who  had  just  returned,  than  for  mine. 

"  Oh,  don't  tell  mother  that  it  is  serious,"  I  exclaimed, 
in  spite  of  my  pain.  "  I  don't  want  her  to  know  how 
badly  I  am  hurt.  Besides,  I  will  tell  her  that  it  was  all 
my  fault." 

"  No,  my  dear,  I  cannot  deceive  your  mother,"  answered 
Frau  von  Friese.  "  I  must  tell  her  every  word  that  the 
Professor  has  said.  And  it  is  my  fault.  I  should  have 
given  orders  to  say  that  I  was  not  at  home  to  anyone  when 
I  knew  that  Fraulein  was  not  with  you." 

The  same  evening  mother  arrived,  pale  but  outwardly 
quite  composed.  As  she  bent  over  and  kissed  me,  her 
touch  seemed  to  relieve  the  pain,  as  though  she  really 
possessed  the  gift  of  kings.  With  Frau  von  Friese  she 
was  as  gentle  as  only  she  could  be,  and  embracing  her  said 
she  never  could  be  convinced  that  it  was  her  fault.  Was 
I  not,  after  all,  no  longer  a  small  child,  but  a  girl  quite 
old  enough  to  take  care  of  myself? 

She  spoke  so  unconcernedly,  and  her  whole  manner  was 
so  cheerful  and  natural,  that  none  of  us  realised  what 
agony  she  suffered  inwardly,  thinking  that  I  should  be 
lame  for  life.  She  remained  with  me  all  night.  My  suf- 
fering was  so  great  that  for  some  time  I  could  not  sleep. 


A  VISIT  TO  THE  RIVIERA  81 

But  mother  took  one  of  my  hands  in  hers  and  held  it. 
Then  there  stole  over  me  that  feeling  of  calm  confidence, 
which  her  presence  and  her  touch  always  inspired,  and  I 
fell  asleep.  How  long  I  remained  so  I  do  not  know. 
The  rustling  of  her  skirts  awakened  me.  We  were  alone. 
She,  thinking  me  asleep,  had  knelt  down  by  my  bedside. 
Opening  my  eyes  I  saw  that  hers  were  red  with  weeping. 
Poor,  poor  mother!  What  must  have  been  her  anxiety 
to  cause  her  to  cry  like  this?  When  she  saw  that  I  was 
awake,  she  rose  and  bending  over  me  pressed  her  cheek 
against  my  face,  so  that  I  felt  her  burning  tears  running 
over  my  temples.  I  put  my  two  arms  about  her  neck, 
and  strained  her  to  my  heart  as  tightly  as  I  could. 

Her  presence  at  my  bedside  was  the  cause  of  some 
trouble.  On  leaving  the  Hofburg,  as  she  intended  to 
return  almost  immediately  she  had  omitted  to  confide  in 
any  of  her  ladies-in-waiting  where  she  was  going,  or  to 
say  that  she  might  remain  away  all  night.  When  they 
discovered  her  absence  they  kept  silence  at  first.  How- 
ever, as  time  passed  and  she  still  did  not  return,  they 
thought  it  best  to  inform  Baron  Nopsca,  the  Master  of 
her  Household.  In  ordinary  circumstances  he  would 
have  reported  this  immediately  to  the  Emperor,  but  sup- 
posing it  only  some  small  matter  which  detained  her,  he 
too  kept  silence.  As  hour  after  hour  passed  by  and  she 
did  not  come  back,  the  anxiety  of  her  attendants  grew 
acute.  They  dared  not  now  inform  the  Emperor,  for  the 
result  would  be  a  severe  reprimand,  perhaps  even  dis- 
missal. Still  less  did  they  dare  to  institute  a  search  for 
Her  Majesty,  lest  worse  should  follow.  So  the  night 
came  to  an  end,  leaving  them  all  in  a  terrible  state  of 
mind.  Events  justified  their  conduct.  JNIy  mother, 
after  having  forgotten  them  all  in  her  trouble  about  me, 


82  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

returned  to  the  Hofburg  at  six  o'clock  in  the  morning. 
Then  the  storm  broke.  Baron  Nopsca,  who  was  wrought 
up  to  fever-heat  by  his  anxiety,  accused  her  of  trying  his 
patience  too  far,  and  informed  her  that  if  such  a  thing 
should  occur  again,  he  could  not  take  on  himself  the  re- 
sponsibility of  keeping  silent.  Mother  was  nervous  and 
unstrung  with  all  that  she  had  undergone,  and,  bitterly 
realising  that  she  was  never  free  to  do  as  she  wished,  lost 
her  temper  suddenly  and  struck  him  in  the  face.  After 
this,  of  course.  Baron  Nopsca  could  not  remain  longer  in 
her  household,  and  demanded  to  be  allowed  to  resign. 

My  mother,  needless  to  say,  afterwards  repented  of 
her  hastiness  on  this  occasion,  and  seized  every  oppor- 
tunity of  showing  Baron  Nopsca  marked  attention. 
Once,  I  know  myself,  on  the  occasion  of  a  dinner  given  by 
her  in  honour  of  my  sister  Gisela  and  her  husband  at 
Budapest,  she  sent  to  him  in  Vienna  a  present  of  fruit. 

For  three  weeks  after  my  accident  I  was  obliged  to 
lie  on  my  back.  At  first,  regardless  of  everything  else, 
mother  came  every  day  to  see  me.  Then,  when  my  re- 
covery was  assured,  arrangements  having  been  made  pre- 
viously for  a  trip  to  the  Mediterranean,  she  left  Vienna 
on  December  1st,  after  commanding  Frau  von  Friese  to 
inform  her  every  day  by  letter  and  telegram  of  my  con- 
dition. 

My  convalescence  was  so  rapid  that  before  Christmas 
I  was  able  to  be  up  and  walking,  and  finally  even  to  go 
back  to  school.  According  to  her  regular  custom,  mother 
passed  this  winter  in  the  south.  This  was  for  me  usually 
the  longest  period  of  separation  from  her;  but  this  year 
my  accident  came  to  my  assistance.  About  the  beginning 
of  January  Professor  Lorenz  decided  that  it  was  advisa- 
ble for  me  to  have  a  change  of  air.     Frau  von  Friese 


A  VISIT  TO  THE  RIVIERA  83 

made  no  reply  at  the  time,  so  that  my  surprise  and  pleas- 
ure were  very  great  indeed  when,  a  little  later,  she  in- 
formed me  that  I  was  to  spend  some  time  with  mother 
on  the  Riviera.  I  was  so  overjoyed  that  I  danced  from 
one  end  of  the  room  to  the  other.  "  Oh  I  You  are 
good!  "  I  cried.  *'  Am  I  really  to  see  mother  so  soon  and 
so  unexpectedly? " 

"  Of  course,"  she  repHed.  "  We  shall  all  live  at  the 
same  hotel.  No  one  will  be  any  the  wiser.  Your  mother 
has  known  me  for  years,  and  can  talk  with  me  as  often  as 
she  wishes  without  its  being  remarked  upon  by  any  one. 
So  we  shall  be  perfectly  free." 

My  joy  speedily  gave  place  to  doubt.  The  news  was 
surely  too  good  to  be  true.  Many  things  might  happen 
to  prevent  our  departure.  The  doctor  might  alter  his 
mind.  Mother  might  coimtermand  the  order.  I  magni- 
fied my  groundless  fears  until  school-work  became  impos- 
sible to  me,  and  at  nights  I  would  lie  awake  until  thor- 
oughly exhausted.  So  things  continued  until  the  date  of 
our  departure  arrived.  That  day  I  was  in  a  worse  fever 
of  impatience  than  ever.  Only  when  we  had  reached  the 
train  and  entered  our  compartment,  and  I  stood  at  the 
window  watching  the  last  preparations,  could  I  breathe  a 
little  easier.  Then  the  guard  blew  his  whistle,  the  train 
gave  a  jerk,  and  we  rolled  out  of  the  station  on  the  way 
to  Nice.  There  was  no  turning  back  now.  I  lay  back 
in  my  seat,  feeling  supremely  happy.  At  last  I  was 
really  on  my  way  to  the  Riviera,  the  earthly  Paradise, 
with  my  darling  mother  as  the  guardian  angel  of  it. 

A  disappointment  was  awaiting  me  on  my  arrival. 
For  I  was  greeted  by  a  bleak  north  wind,  a  wintry,  dust- 
covered  landscape,  and  a  dull  sky.  Was  this,  then,  the 
Riviera?     But  I  was  soon  reassured.     On  the  following 


84         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

day  a  soft  southerly  breeze  was  blowing,  sky  and  sea  were 
a  perfect  blue,  and  the  landscape  was  bathed  in  the  golden 
light  of  the  southern  sun.  Suddenly  an  overwhelming 
love  for  this  beautiful  country  sprang  up  in  my  heart  and 
possessed  it.  It  possesses  it  still,  and  will  do  so  until  my 
heart  shall  cease  to  beat. 

On  the  first  day  after  my  arrival  mother  took  me  to 
see  the  famous  gardens  of  Mortola.  As  we  wandered 
through  them  I  could  not  repress  my  enthusiasm.  My 
first  exclamation,  I  have  since  been  told,  was:  *'  Mother 
dear,  how  lovely  it  would  be  to  die  here!  I  feel  happy 
beyond  all  wishes,  with  all  this  beauty  and  with  you.  The 
only  thing  to  make  me  sad  is  when  I  think  that  it  cannot 
last." 

For  hours  and  hours,  covering  miles  and  miles,  we  wan- 
dered about  together  each  day.  Mother  always  left  the 
hotel  unaccompanied,  and  we  met  at  some  appointed 
place.  How  glorious  were  these  times!  However  far 
we  might  walk,  no  distance  ever  seemed  to  tire  us.  She 
was  very  solicitous  about  me,  however,  constantly  asking, 
"  Weiberl,  does  your  leg  hurt  you,  or  do  I  go  too  quickly 
for  you? "  And  all  the  while,  without  any  visible  sign, 
mother  herself  was  sufiPering  tortures  from  sciatica. 

Never  before  did  I  realise  how  much  happiness  my 
presence  gave  her.  Often  in  the  course  of  our  walks  she 
would  draw  me  to  her  and  kiss  me ;  or  else  she  would  take 
my  hand  in  hers,  and  so  we  would  go  along  hand  in 
hand. 

Occasionally  during  our  walks  we  had  rather  amusing 
experiences.  One  day,  I  remember,  we  lost  ourselves, 
or  at  least  went  a  lot  out  of  our  way,  in  an  olive-grove 
in  the  neighbourhood  of  Rochebrune.  As  usual  mother 
was  afraid  of  tiring  me,  and  so  we  had  sat  down  on  a 


A  VISIT  TO  THE  RIVIERA  85 

fallen  tree,  the  only  seat  which  we  could  see  about  us. 
We  had  only  been  there  a  few  minutes  when  a  stout  lady, 
accompanied  by  a  girl  of  about  twenty,  came  along  and 
in  broken  French  asked  permission  to  sit  on  the  tree-trunk 
beside  us.  As  we  did  not  intend  to  move  at  once,  mother, 
of  course,  not  wishing  to  be  rude,  immediately  answered, 
"  Yes."  Then  turning  to  me  she  half -whispered  a  few 
words  which  the  elder  lady  recognised  to  be  German. 

"  Oh,  the  ladies  are  German,"  she  began  at  once  in  her 
own  language,  her  face  radiant  with  that  patriotism  which 
is  so  strong  in  the  heart  of  every  German,  and  which  they 
manifest  so  plainly  when  they  meet  with  one  of  their  fel- 
low-countrymen. 

Mother  explained  that  we  were  Austrians,  and  entered 
into  conversation  with  the  zest  which  she  was  wont  to 
show  upon  such  occasions.  She  dearly  loved  to  be  in- 
cognita, and  was  only  cold  and  distant  with  people  who 
knew  her  rank  and  with  whom  she  had  to  be,  as  she  ex- 
pressed it,  "  on  parade."  The  German  lady  proved  to 
be  very  talkative,  and  had  soon  told  us  where  she  came 
from  and  how  she  liked  the  Riviera,  but  found  !Monte 
Carlo  too  noisy,  and  a  difficult  place  to  recognise  celebri- 
ties on  account  of  the  crowds.  She  catalogued  the  roy- 
alties in  the  Riviera  for  the  season,  or  likely  to  arrive  soon 
—  the  Empress  Eugenie,  Queen  Victoria,  the  Prince  of 
Wales,  and  the  Emperor  and  Empress  of  Austria.  I 
could  scarcely  restrain  my  laughter,  but  mother  gave  no 
sign.  In  spite  of  the  unhappiness  of  her  life  she  still  kept 
a  spirit  of  mischief  in  her.  She  encouraged  the  German 
lady  to  talk  of  the  Emperor  and  Empress,  and  then,  as 
the  other  remarked  what  an  interesting  person  the  Em- 
press was,  she  broke  in  with,  "  Oh,  she  's  a  crazy  woman; 
I  would  not  go  a  yard  to  see  her,  with  her  fan  spread  out 


86         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

in  front  of  her  face  the  moment  she  thinks  you  are  look- 
ing at  her.  I  would  just  as  soon  look  at  my  own  fan  " — 
at  the  same  time  striking  it  against  her  knee  and  rising 
to  go. 

The  friendly  German  expressed  her  pleasure  at  having 
met  us,  hoped  to  see  us  again,  and  gave  the  address  of  her 
villa,  as  though  inviting  an  exchange  of  confidences. 
Mother  hurried  me  away,  scolding  me  mildly  for  the 
mirth  I  was  now  making  violent  efforts  to  control.  Our 
inquisitive  friend  would  soon  enough  find  out  to  whom 
she  had  been  talking,  she  said.  She  was  quite  right. 
Very  shortly  after  the  adventure  in  the  olive-grove, 
mother  told  me  that  as  she  was  taking  a  walk  with  the 
Countess  Festetics  and  General  von  Berceviczy,  she  again 
came  across  the  lady,  who  stepped  on  one  side  with  a  deep 
curtsey  and  a  smile  which  showed  that  she  had  recognised 
her. 

But  the  incident  did  not  close  here.  A  few  days  later, 
when  I  was  out  walking  with  Frau  von  Friese,  we  met 
the  two  ladies  again.  Now,  however,  instead  of  stepping 
aside,  they  crossed  our  path  to  speak  to  us,  and  after  a 
low  curtsey,  the  old  lady  haltingly  began:  "Your  Im- 
perial Highness,  please  excuse  me  if  I  take  the  liberty 
of  stopping  you.  I  only  wish  to  beg  of  you  to  convey 
my  deep  apology  to  Her  Majesty,  if  we  have  perhaps  be- 
haved in  a  way  we  ought  not  to  have." 

If  the  good  lady  was  embarrassed,  I  was  still  more  so, 
but  Frau  von  Friese  came  to  my  rescue  and  answered  for 
me :  "  There  is  nothing  to  apologise  for,  my  dear  ladies, 
since  nothing  unpleasant  occurred.  Nevertheless  we  will 
convey  your  message." 

The  Germans  were  not  yet  quite  reassured,  and  the 
younger  one  took  up  the  tale.     I  felt  very  sorry  for  them; 


A  VISIT  TO  THE  RIVIERA  87 

and,  embarrassed  myself  at  their  very  embarrassment,  I 
suddenly  blurted  out:     "  I  will  explain  to  mother—" 

I  stopped  abruptly.  What  a  fearful  blunder  I  had 
made!  We  rushed  away  immediately.  Frau  von  Friese 
had  turned  quite  pale,  and  for  once  was  deprived  even  of 
the  Dower  to  scold  me. 

During  this  visit  to  the  Riviera,  not  a  day  passed  with- 
out my  seeing  mother.  She  seemed  so  happy  about  it,  and 
indeed  quite  as  happy  as  I  was  myself.  Even  if  we  could 
not  see  each  other  in  the  daytime  I  would  creep  into  her 
bedroom  for  an  hour  after  she  had  retired.  To  do  this, 
I  had  to  descend  from  my  own  room  on  the  first  floor  to 
the  main  hall  of  the  hotel  on  the  ground  floor.  Then, 
taking  great  care  that  no  one  should  see  me,  I  slipped 
into  the  corridor  leading  to  my  mother's  apartments. 
Hurrying  down  this,  I  passed  through  the  room  reserved 
for  the  ladies  of  the  bedchamber  into  my  mother's  own 
room.  She  was  always  in  bed  before  I  arrived,  and  I 
would  sit  on  the  edge  of  it,  or  else  would  lie  down  near  her, 
often  in  her  arms,  with  my  head  on  her  shoulder.  We 
were  both  silent  and  both  content  at  being  in  each  other's 
company. 

It  must  not  be  thought  that  it  was  easy  for  me  to  escape 
observation.  My  mother's  attendants,  though  few  in 
number,  were  always  on  the  alert,  and  might  easily  have 
caught  me  had  they  wished.  There  were  General  von 
Berceviczy;  Feifalik,  her  private  secretary;  Pali,  her 
Greek  reader  at  that  time;  and  the  Countess  Festetics, 
besides  her  other  ladies  and  the  servants.  But  at  my  ap- 
proach they  all  vanished.  I  was  so  naive  as  to  believe 
then  that  their  disappearances  were  accidental  and  that 
none  of  them  knew  what  I  was  doing  I 


88         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

"  My  poor  Weiberl,"  mother  said  to  me  on  one  of  the 
first  evenings  of  our  stay,  after  I  had  crept  trembhngly 
to  her  room,  "  you  are  a  brave  little  girl.  'Now  I  want 
you  to  tell  me  the  real  truth.  When  you  have  to  humble 
yourself  like  this  for  my  sake,  don't  you  feel  vexed  with 
me?" 

"  Oh,  mother  dear!"  I  cried,  "have  I  ever  given  the 
slightest  sign  of  vexation?  Are  you  dissatisfied  with  me 
that  you  should  speak  like  that?  " 

She  saw  that  I  was  upset,  and  hastened  to  comfort  me. 
She  explained  that  she  had  only  been  afraid  I  might  think 
it  was  owing  to  a  caprice  on  her  part  that  I  had  to  live  as 
I  did,  in  such  secrecy  always,  and  that  I  might  feel  that 
I  was  being  deprived  through  her  of  the  rights  and  priv- 
ileges which  should  be  mine.  I  was  an  Archduchess,  and 
did  it  not  seem  wrong  for  me  to  go  through  the  streets 
unrecognised,  instead  of  receiving  the  salutes  of  the  sol- 
diers and  the  homage  of  the  crowd? 

But  I  assured  her  that  such  things  as  these  were  noth- 
ing to  me,  when  I  was  really  so  much  better  off  than  the 
other  Archduchesses,  living  under  her  care,  as  Gisela  and 
Valerie  had  never  been  allowed  to  live.  I  know  that  I 
was  perfectly  sincere  in  talking  like  this.  I  did  not  con- 
sider myself  in  the  slightest  degree  lowered,  but,  on  the 
contrary,  raised  to  a  height  by  my  manner  of  life,  in  such 
intimacy  with  her.  Nothing  else  could  have  brought  me 
such  happiness.  Moreover,  the  comedy  of  concealment 
which  we  played  together  was  too  amusing  and,  above  all, 
too  romantic  not  to  please  me.  With  the  Wittelsbach 
blood  in  my  veins  I  could  not  escape  the  heritage  of  a  ro- 
mantic nature. 

What  my  mother  said  on  another  occasion  comes  back 
to  me  in  connection  with  this  question  of  an  Archduchess's 


A  VISIT  TO  THE  RIVIERA  89 

position.  "  You  know,  Weiberl,"  she  told  me  once,  "  it 
is  the  excessive  honours  they  receive  which  spoil  the  char- 
acters of  those  who  are  too  young  to  understand  that  such 
honours  are  paid  not  to  them  personally,  but  to  the  family 
they  come  from.  It  is  only  natural  that  children  should 
have  their  heads  turned  in  this  way  and  come  to  consider 
themselves  of  a  superior  clay.  If  I  had  had  anything  to 
say  in  the  matter,  I  should  have  forbidden  them  to  ride  in 
the  golden  Imperial  carriages  or  to  receive  militar)?-  sa- 
lutes before  their  sixteenth  or  eighteenth  year.  But,  of 
course,  if  I  had  even  hinted  such  views  I  should  have  been 
declared  a  lunatic,  and  so  I  never  interfered.  For  my 
own  part,  I  do  not  care  for  such  extravagances.  I  should 
like  to  see  them  abolished.  But  the  public  loves  them. 
Drums  and  trumpets  amuse  it !  " 

Like  everything  else  in  life,  my  enjoyable  time  on  the 
Riviera  came  to  an  end.  In  February,  after  several 
weeks'  holiday,  I  returned  to  Vienna  with  Frau  von 
Friese.  Mother  left  at  the  beginning  of  the  following 
month  for  Ajaccio,  whence  she  sailed  for  Naples.  And 
here  she  went  on  board  her  yacht  the  Miramar,  and  paid 
a  visit  to  her  villa  at  Corfu,  which  she  had  built  a  few  years 
earlier. 


CHAPTER  X 

HOW   A   HOLIDAY   WAS  SPOILT 

It  was  on  May  1st  of  this  year,  1895,  that  my  mother  re- 
turned to  Vienna,  and  she  came  to  visit  me  at  once.  As 
the  Emperor  went  to  Pola  for  some  days  on  the  7th  and 
Valerie  had  gone  home,  she  was  perfectly  free  for  a  time 
to  spend  every  moment  with  me.  When  the  weather  was 
fine  we  made  excursions;  and  when  it  was  wet  we  passed 
the  day  at  my  home  at  Lainz.  I  kept  a  diary  then,  from 
which  I  take  a  few  extracts. 

May  Mh.     To  the  Hinterbruhl  with  mother. 

?ith.  With  mother  to  Klosterneuburg,  over  the  Leo- 
poldsberg  and  the  Kahlenberg,  where  we  took  tea.  We 
went  down  by  the  funicular  railway  to  Nussdorf,  and 
from  there  home  in  a  carriage. 

Mh.  To  Hernals  to  see  a  poor  family  named  Sperl. 
Mother  wanted  to  find  out  what  they  needed.  [She  after- 
wards set  them  up  in  a  small  grocery  business,  without 
letting  them  know  who  she  was.] 

10^^.  Mother  with  me  in  the  afternoon.  Mr.  Kaiser's 
birthday.     Lunched  there.     It  rained  all  day. 

11/^.     Rain  again. 

IMh.  A  long  walk  to  the  Augarten  with  mother. 
Weather  still  bad. 

15^^.     Mother  only  with  me  for  an  hour. 

May  IQth,  Over  the  Aninger  to  Baden  with  mother 
and  Frau  von  Friese. 

90 


HOW  A  HOLIDAY  WAS  SPOILT         91 

19^^.  Mother  could  not  come  to-day.  There  is  a  big 
dinner-party  at  Lainz.  Father  back  from  Pola.  Comit 
Kakiocky,  Prince  Liechtenstein,  and  Comit  Paar  were  at 
the  dinner. 

20th.  Examination  at  school.  Mother  again  could 
not  come  to  see  me.  Another  dinner-party  at  Lainz. 
Father,  mother,  Stephanie,  and  Erzsie. 

21st.  JNIother  came  to  see  me  and  told  me  she  could 
not  come  again  for  several  days,  because  Valerie  was  com- 
ing.    She  stayed  with  me  all  the  afternoon. 

22nd.  Franz  [the  Archduke  Franz-Ferdinand]  came 
to  Vienna  alone.  Valerie  ill,  and  two  of  her  children  with 
chicken-pox.  So  mother  will  be  able  to  come  and  see  me. 
How  lucky! 

23rd.  With  mother  to  Forstel's  in  the  Kohlmarkt. 
Bought  a  very  nice  handbag  for  Lisa's  birthday.  The  first 
time  in  my  life  with  mother  in  town.  No  one  recognised 
her. 

27th,  Franz  has  gone  back  to  Wels.  He  was  waiting 
for  Valerie  all  the  time,  but  she  could  not  come. 

2Sth.  Mrs.  Kaiser  has  very  bad  eyes.  Mother  went 
with  me  to  see  her.     Laura  is  so  silly. 

31st.  Lisa's  birthday.  A  girls'  party  there.  Prin- 
cess Jeanne  Ghika,  Alica  von  Matacziz,  Laura,  and  my- 
self. 

June  1st.  End  of  school  term.  Most  of  the  girls 
cried.  Some  of  them  wrote  their  names  in  my  album. 
Among  them  were  Sera  Vlassak,  Mizza  von  Voinovicz, 
Marianne  von  Pittreich,  and  Wilma  Roll. 

2nd.  Gisela  came  from  JMunich  with  her  two  boys. 
She  will  remain  a  whole  week,  so  I  shan't  be  able  to  see 
mother.  I  am  so  disappointed.  She  would  have  been 
free,  as  father  has  gone  away  to  Graz. 


92  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

On  June  10th  my  mother  left  Vienna  for  her  annual 
pilgrimage  to  the  tomb  of  King  Ludwig  at  Munich.  She 
stopped  on  the  way  to  visit  Valerie  at  Lichtenegg.  She 
had  originally  intended  that  I  should  meet  her  at  Wels, 
whence  Lichtenegg  can  be  reached  by  carriage.  By  this 
arrangement  we  should  have  travelled  together,  as  we  did 
in  the  previous  year ;  the  time  of  her  departure  from  Lich- 
tenegg being  undecided,  however,  this  was  impossible.  It 
was  usual,  when  we  went  on  a  railway  journey  together, 
for  mother  to  have  a  private  carriage  attached  to  the  train 
while  I  took  a  separate  compartment  in  the  other  part  of 
the  train.  Then,  after  we  had  started,  I  would  make  my 
way  to  her  carriage,  so  that,  while  officially  she  was  alone, 
actually  I  travelled  with  her.  On  this  occasion,  according 
to  her  instructions,  I  left  on  the  11th  for  Munich,  accom- 
panied by  Frau  von  Friese.  Our  separation  was  really 
fortunate;  for  Gisela  met  mother  on  her  arrival  at  the 
station,  and  had  we  been  together,  even  if  as  usual  we  had 
left  the  train  separately,  it  might  easily  have  been  very 
awkward  for  us. 

Our  week  at  the  Hotel  Continental  in  Munich  was 
really  delightful,  though  we  were  depressed  by  our  visit 
on  the  13th  to  the  tomb  of  the  king.  In  token  of  her 
never-failing  remembrance,  mother  left  a  wreath  of  jas- 
mine and  roses,  his  favourite  flowers. 

On  June  18th  mother  returned  to  Vienna,  while  on  the 
20th  I  went  to  spend  the  summer  at  Gmunden.  This 
time  I  was  not  separated  from  my  dear  Frau  von  Friese, 
and  we  lived  together  in  the  same  villa  as  in  the  previous 
year.  It  was  very  charming,  this  httle  villa  with  its 
groves  of  walnut  trees  and  pines  at  the  back  and  both 
sides.  In  front  was  a  lawn  with  a  f oimtain  in  the  centre, 
bordered  by  two  rows  of  ancient  trees  interspersed  with 


HOW  A  HOLIDAY  WAS  SPOILT         93 

sweet-smelling  jasmine  and  lilac.  Gmimden  itself  is  one 
of  the  finest  spots  in  the  Salzkammergut,  and  as  it  is  less 
than  an  hour  from  the  Imperial  smnmer  residence  of  Ischl, 
it  is  much  patronised  by  fashionable  people. 

A  summer  morning  in  this  place  is  most  lovely.  How 
enjoyable  it  was  to  breakfast  on  the  terrace,  with  the 
whole  scene  sparkling  in  the  sun,  the  mountains  only 
wrapped  in  a  light  veil  of  fog;  the  air  fresh  with  dew,  a 
perfect  blue  sky  overhead,  suggestive  of  unending  peace 
and  quiet,  and  in  the  distance  the  mirror-like  dark  green 
lake,  where  now  and  then  the  creaking  of  the  oars  of  a 
rowing-boat  and  the  following  splash  were  the  sole  sounds 
to  break  the  silence!  How  glorious  it  all  was,  and  how 
hlase  must  be  the  people  who  can  look  upon  such  beauty 
with  indifference,  as  if  it  were  merely  something  else 
which  they  can  purchase  with  their  gold! 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Kaiser  had  also  leased  a  summer  villa 
here,  and  so  I  spent  some  of  my  time  at  my  own  home  and 
some  at  theirs,  especially  at  the  beginning  of  the  visit; 
for  mother  stayed  over  three  weeks  at  Bartfeld,  in  Hun- 
gary, for  the  waters.  She  wanted  at  first  to  take  me 
there  too,  but  she  decided  not  to.  She  was  afraid  that, 
owing  to  her  great  popularity  in  Hungary,  she  was  more 
likely  to  be  recognised  there  than  elsewhere  when  she  had 
me  with  her.  Besides,  she  was  accompanied  by  a  big 
suite,  including  the  Coimtess  Festetics,  the  Countess  Kor- 
nis,  the  Countess  Mikes,  her  lady  reader  Fraulein  Ida  von 
Ferenczi,  and  her  Greek  reader  Pali.  Her  fear  on  this 
occasion  was  no  exaggeration,  for  she  wrote  me  that  she 
could  not  go  for  a  walk,  even  in  the  least  frequented  parts 
of  the  forest,  without  seeing  someone  apparently  bent  on 
meeting  her.  She  also  spoke  in  one  of  her  letters  of  the 
thoughtfuhiess  shown  by  the  Hungarians  in  furnishing 


94.         THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

and  decorating  her  private  apartments,  and  expressed 
particular  pleasure  at  the  delicate  perception  which  caused 
busts  of  her  beloved  Heine,  as  well  as  of  her  two  favourite 
Hungarians,  Deak  and  Jokai,  to  be  placed  in  her  sitting- 
room. 

On  July  24th  she  arrived  at  Ischl.  After  this  we  met 
several  times  at  Rimbach,  a  little  place  at  the  end  of  the 
Lake  of  Gmunden,  called  also  the  Lake  of  Traun. 

The  first  time  we  were  alone  together,  my  mother  said 
to  me:  "Babe,  we  have  become  indispensable  to  each 
other.  We  spoil  one  another,  and  are  too  happy.  You 
will  see  that  Fate  has  some  trick  to  play  upon  us." 

Prophetic  words! 

At  the  beginning  of  August  the  King  and  Queen  of 
Roumania  arrived  at  Ischl,  so  that  mother  was  unable  to 
come  over  to  see  me.  Thinking  to  occupy  the  time,  which 
hung  heavily  on  my  hands,  I  begged  to  be  allowed  to 
visit  and  nurse  Laura,  who  was  ill  with  bronchitis,  follow- 
ing upon  an  attack  of  measles.  Frau  von  Friese  and  the 
doctor  at  first  opposed  my  idea,  but  ultimately  gave  way, 
the  doctor  saying  that  Laura's  illness  was  not  contagious. 
Frau  von  Friese  probably  consented  the  more  readily  be- 
cause she  desired  to  make  her  annual  visit  to  Denmark. 
Besides,  she  strongly  approved  of  my  affection  for  my 
foster-sister.  So  it  came  about  that  I  was  installed  as  a 
nurse,  but  not  for  long.  On  the  sixth  day  I  felt  unwell 
myself.  I  kept  silence  regarding  my  feelings,  but  the 
next  day  I  was  so  ill  that  I  was  compelled  to  remain  in 
bed.  My  attack,  however,  was  slighter  than  Laura's, 
since  I  was  confined  to  bed  four  days  only.  During  this 
time  Mrs.  Kaiser  nursed  me.  I  must  acknowledge  her 
great  goodness  in  taking  entire  charge  of  me  on  this  oc- 
casion.    She  even  went  to  the  extent  of  putting  me  in  her 


HOW  A  HOLIDAY  WAS  SPOILT         95 

own  room,  leaving  her  own  daughter  to  the  care  of  others. 
The  malady  must  have  been  really  very  catching,  for  on 
the  day  I  rose  from  my  bed  ISlrs.  Kaiser  was  obliged  to 
take  to  hers. 

My  governess's  absence,  coupled  with  the  illness  in  the 
Kaiser  household,  prevented  mother  from  being  informed 
at  once  of  what  had  happened  to  me.  In  fact,  she  only 
learned  of  it  on  the  same  day  that  I  got  up.  She  came 
over  instantly  to  see  me.  Poor  mother!  At  the  sight  of 
me  she  could  not  keep  back  her  tears,  so  anxious  did  she 
feel  about  me.  She  herself  had  not  been  well,  and  it 
made  my  heart  heavy  when  I  saw  the  tears  rolling  down 
her  cheeks.  Had  those  who  called  her  cold  and  lacking 
in  heart  seen  her  then,  they  never  again  would  have  dared 
to  speak  a  word  against  her. 

Though  the  illness  proved  so  catching,  mother  insisted 
on  seeing  Mrs.  Kaiser  to  thank  her  personally  for  the 
great  care  she  had  taken  of  me.  *'  You  go  first  into  JVIrs. 
Kaiser's  room,"  she  said  to  me,  "  and  tell  her  that  I  want 
to  see  her.  But  for  goodness'  sake  let  there  be  no  fuss. 
Tell  her  she  must  remain  in  bed.  If  she  tries  to  get  up, 
say  to  her  it  is  on  account  of  the  servants  that  she  must 
stay  where  she  is." 

I  carried  this  message  word  for  word  to  IVIrs.  Kaiser, 
who  smiled  and  consented  to  remain  in  bed.  Then  mother 
went  to  her,  and  was  really  wonderfully  gracious. 

"  Mrs.  Kaiser,"  she  said,  "  you  have  made  yourself  ill 
through  nursing  my  girl.  Now  it  will  be  her  turn  to  take 
care  of  you." 

Mother  had  arrived  at  the  house  quite  alone,  and,  like 
an  ordinary  stranger,  had  asked  Mrs.  Kaiser's  maid  (who 
happened,  unfortunately,  to  be  a  comparatively  new  one) 
if  she  could  see  her  mistress.     How  great  was  her  embar- 


96  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

rassment  when,  instead  of  being  admitted  at  once,  she  re- 
ceived the  answer  that  Mrs.  Kaiser  was  ill  and  could  see 
no  one!  Timidly  mother  asked  for  Miss  Lily  or  Miss 
Laura.  All  this  took  place  at  the  entrance  to  the  villa. 
How  degrading  it  was  for  her,  the  Empress,  to  have  to 
beg  for  admittance  at  the  hands  of  a  maid,  who,  not  know- 
ing whether  she  was  really  a  friend  of  the  family,  was  un- 
decided as  to  the  advisability  of  letting  her  inside  the 
house!  I  wonder  that  she  did  not  become  angry  before 
Laura,  whom  the  servant  finally  fetched,  came  to  her 
rescue. 

During  the  whole  of  Mrs.  Kaiser's  illness  my  mother 
sent  every  day  to  inquire  after  her  and  showed  many 
proofs  of  her  especial  regard.  Among  other  presents 
came  several  bottles  of  the  priceless  Imperial  Tokay. 
Her  gratitude  for  Mrs.  Kaiser's  kindness  to  me  was  deep. 
But  then  gratitude  was  one  of  the  most  marked  of 
mother's  good  qualities. 

Mrs.  Kaiser's  illness  took  a  dangerous  turn.  After  a 
few  days  she  became  delirious,  and  she  remained  in  this 
state  for  weeks,  so  that  the  worst  was  almost  expected. 
She  had  two  nuns  to  nurse  her  in  turn,  day  and  night. 
In  her  delirium  she  tried  to  send  them  away,  not  recog- 
nising the  moving  black  objects. 

Although  Laura  was  not  far  removed  from  me  in  age, 
her  character  was  much  less  mature  than  mine.  Besides, 
she  was  too  impatient  to  be  able  to  nurse  her  mother,  so 
that  I  felt  it  my  duty  to  be  near  her.  Frau  von  Friese 
by  this  time  was  back  again  from  Denmark,  and,  high- 
minded  woman  that  she  was,  was  quite  convinced  that  it 
would  do  me  no  harm  to  see  this  side  of  life. 

Mother,  who  was  leaving  for  Aix-les-Bains  on  the  last 
day  of  August,  had  arranged  that  I  should  follow  her 


HOW  A  HOLIDAY  WAS  SPOILT         97 

there,  and  on  this  account  had  leased  Dr.  Vidal's  garden, 
so  that  we  might  the  more  easily  meet  each  other.  In 
order  not  to  run  the  risk  of  disappointing  me  at  the  last 
moment,  as  had  happened  hefore  when  something  unex- 
pected caused  a  change  in  her  plans,  she  had  told  me  noth- 
ing about  this.  After  her  first  visit  to  Gmunden  during 
my  illness,  she  came  to  see  me  several  times  again  at  my 
own  villa,  where  Frau  von  Friese  now  was,  and  it  was 
only  on  the  last  day  that  she  spoke  of  her  plan  of  taking 
me  with  her.  Unfortunately,  just  on  the  impulse  of  the 
moment,  I  cried:  "  But  can  I  go?  Suppose,  while  I  am 
away,  Mrs.  Kaiser  — " 

I  stopped  short.  But  my  mother  drew  me  towards 
her,  and  feverishly  pressed  kisses  upon  my  eyes.  She 
fought  a  silent  battle  within  herself,  and  finally  she  said  in 
a  voice  that  was  no  more  than  a  whisper :  "  You  are  quite 
right,  Weiberl.  You  cannot  go  away  now.  You  are  a 
good,  dutiful  girl." 

I  was  too  young  and  inexperienced  to  understand  then 
what  it  cost  her  mother's  heart  to  make  this  sacrifice. 
All  the  summer,  probably,  she  had  been  looking  forward 
eagerly  to  this  time.  She  had  planned  everything  so 
carefully,  and  had  not  breathed  a  word  of  it  before  the 
proper  day.  Even  at  the  time  I  had  an  intuition  of  her 
grief,  although  I  could  not  realise  how  deep  it  was.  I 
tried  to  take  back  what  I  had  said,  and  to  argue  that 
events  might  take  quite  a  favourable  turn  after  all.  I 
must  confess  that  I  too  was  heartbroken  now,  when  I 
thought  of  all  the  lovely  times  of  which  I  had  deprived 
myself.  But  it  was  in  vain.  Mother  shook  her  head  and 
said:  "  Weiberl,  darling,  did  you  not  hear  me?  I  have 
decided  that  you  have  to  remain." 

Then  I  knew  that  not  a  syllable  more  must  be  uttered, 


98  THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

if  I  did  not  wish  to  make  her  angry.  I  could  guess  that 
those  firm  words  were  meant  more,  perhaps,  for  herself 
than  for  me.     And  so  I  stayed  behind. 

The  succeeding  weeks  slipped  swiftly  by  until  the  end 
of  September  arrived.  Laura  had  gone  back  to  Vienna 
with  her  father,  and  had  been  placed  in  a  boarding-school 
under  the  management  of  Fraulein  Hanauseck.  Mrs. 
Kaiser  was  now  quite  out  of  danger,  but  the  doctors  or- 
dered a  complete  rest  for  her.  As  I  never  returned  to 
yienna  so  early  in  the  autumn,  and  as  mother  was  in  Hun- 
gary, where  she  had  gone  from  Aix-les-Bains,  I  remained 
with  Frau  von  Friese  at  Gmunden  and  spent  much  of 
my  time  by  the  bedside  of  the  patient.  The  autunm  was 
beautiful,  and  I  enjoyed  to  the  fuUest  extent  my  walks  in 
the  neighbourhood. 

I  remember  several  curious  occurrences  at  this  time.  I 
was  known  to  everyone  in  the  place,  and  there  was  plenty 
of  gossip  about  me.  I  noticed  that  I  was  even  treated 
with  more  or  less  deference,  as  befitted  my  real  rank.  I 
was  known  by  the  title  of  "  Princess,"  and  was  supposed 
to  be  staying  at  Gmunden  incognita.  As  I  was  walking 
on  the  esplanade,  it  frequently  happened  that  gentlemen 
stopped  to  bow  deeply  to  me,  and  that  young  girls  made 
curtseys.  When  I  went  to  the  bathing-place  everyone 
stared  at  me.  It  was  probably  considered  remarkable 
that  I  was  always  accompanied  by  Frau  von  Friese  and  a 
maid;  especially  as  the  former  never  took  the  baths  her- 
self and  the  latter  was  manifestly  waiting  upon  me.  Per- 
haps some  people  had  already  seen  me  in  my  mother's 
company.  Although  the  society  at  Gmunden  was  very 
select,  the  place  was  a  regular  nest  of  gossip  —  probably 
because  the  aristocratic  quality  of  the  visitors  furnished 
the  local  bourgeoisie  with  the  more  food  for  discussion. 


HOW  A  HOLIDAY  WAS  SPOILT         99 

One  day  early  in  my  visit  I  was  standing  by  chance  at 
the  gate  of  the  Kaisers'  villa  in  the  dress  which  is  called 
the  Deamdl  —  the  costume  of  the  upper  Austrian  peas- 
antry, very  fashionable  at  that  time  for  ladies  also.  This 
suited  me  well,  as  I  was  rather  big.  I  did  not  notice  that, 
as  I  stood  at  the  gate,  a  man  with  a  camera  took  up  his 
position  opposite  me.  I  was  therefore  much  astonished 
when  he  came  up  to  me  and  said:  "  I  have  taken  the  lib- 
erty of  taking  a  snapshot  of  you,  mademoiselle.  I  could 
not  resist  so  charming  a  subject." 

I  only  smiled  bashfully,  not  knowing  what  to  reply,  and 
he  did  not  wait  for  an  answer  but  passed  on.  How  great 
was  my  amazement  when,  as  I  was  walking  out  one  day  in 
the  autumn  with  one  of  Mrs.  Kaiser's  two  nuns,  I  met  the 
same  man,  who  halted  before  me  and  with  a  low  bow  said: 
"  Your  Imperial  Highness,  I  owe  you  an  apology.  Your 
Highness  will  remember  that  this  summer  I  took  the 
liberty  of  taking  a  photograph  of  you,  but  I  did  not 
then  know  who  the  charming  young  lady  was.  Your  Im- 
perial Highness  may  rest  assured  that  no  one  shall  ever 
see  the  photograph." 

For  a  moment  I  did  not  know  what  to  answer,  but  I 
did  not  lose  countenance.  With  a  smile  that  helped  to 
hide  my  embarrassment,  I  answered:  "  Keep  it  as  a  re- 
membrance of  me,  but  please  do  not  show  it  to  anyone 
else." 

And  then,  inclining  my  head  slightly,  as  I  had  seen  my 
mother  do,  I  passed  on.  What  did  the  man  mean?  I 
wondered.     Who  had  been  talking  to  him? 

A  second  little  adventure  happened  soon  after  this.  It 
was  on  a  Sunday  afternoon,  very  grey  and  dull.  Sister 
Ehzabeth,  one  of  the  nuns,  noticing  that  I  seemed  rather 
lonely  and  bored,  said  to  Mrs.  Kaiser,  "  Would  not  the 


100        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

young  lady  like  to  go  to  the  entertainment  which  the  par- 
ishioners have  got  up  to-day  for  the  cure  of  our  church, 
in  honour  of  his  seventieth  birthday?  It  will  not  be  a 
very  grand  affair,  but  it  will  serve  to  pass  the  time." 

Of  course  I  was  eager  to  go,  and  as  Frau  von  Friese 
and  Mrs.  Kaiser  raised  no  objection,  a  servant  was  sent 
to  the  town  to  see  if  seats  could  be  obtained.  He  re- 
turned with  two  tickets.  As  Frau  von  Friese  was  not  at 
all  interested  in  such  things,  I  went  accompanied  by  my 
maid.  We  were  shown  by  a  young  priest  to  some  seats 
in  the  third  row.  Just  as  we  were  about  to  take  our 
places  another  young  priest  hastened  up,  whispered  some- 
thing to  our  conductor,  looked  hard  at  me  for  an  instant, 
and  hurried  away. 

"  Euer  Gnaden,  please  have  patience  a  moment,"  said 
the  first  priest.  And  now  in  front  of  the  very  centre  of 
the  first  row,  where  the  old  cure  himself,  Father  Mayer,^ 
was  seated,  we  saw  them  place  two  large  armchairs. 
Then,  with  a  low  bow,  the  young  priest  motioned  to  me 
to  take  these  seats. 

During  the  performance  the  actors,  too,  made  most 
respectful  bows  to  me  —  to  my  great  confusion.  But  the 
climax  came  when  the  performance  was  over.  The  cure 
rose  to  thank  those  present  for  their  attendance,  but  first 
of  all  he  turned  to  me  and  expressed  his  gratitude  for  the 
great  honour  shown  him  by  my  presence.  To  make  mat- 
ters worse  for  me,  I  had  forgotten  to  put  on  a  belt  when 
I  dressed  to  come  out,  and  so  was  obliged  all  the  time  to 
keep  my  coat  on,  lest  the  watchful  eyes  of  the  audience 
should  notice  this  defect  in  my  costume  I 

1  Father  Mayer  is  still  living,  I  believe.  I  noticed  in  a  Vienna  paper  last 
year,  or  the  year  before,  a  mention  of  another  entertainment  at  Gmmiden  in 
honour  of  his  birthday. 


CHAPTER  XI 

PROFESSOR   KRAUS 

Mrs.  Kaiser  being  almost  restored  to  health,  and  the  end 
of  October  having  arrived,  we  all  returned  from  Gmun- 
den  to  Vienna.  Although  I  had  regular  lessons  from 
Frau  von  Friese  even  when  I  was  in  the  country,  my 
studies  there  were  nothing  like  those  in  town,  and  this 
winter  saw  a  great  increase  of  work  compared  with  what 
had  gone  before.  For  certain  afternoons  in  every  week 
I  attended  classes  at  the  school  where  Laura  was  board- 
ing, Fraulein  Hanauseck's.  Then,  in  addition,  I  had  a 
number  of  private  tutors  at  home,  who  taught  me  Greek, 
Latin,  mathematics,  history,  geography,  literature,  music, 
et  cetera.  It  was  not  intended  by  my  mother  or  Frau  von 
Friese  that  I  should  be  idle. 

Among  my  teachers  I  had  a  special  preference  for  the 
one  who  instructed  me  in  general  history,  in  the  history 
of  art,  and  in  psychology;  and  he  merits  some  attention 
here.  Professor  Kraus,  in  spite  of  his  forty  years,  looked, 
with  his  eye-glasses  and  his  clean-shaven  face,  more  like 
a  student  than  a  professor.  It  was  with  great  reluctance 
that  he  had  agreed  to  give  lessons  to  a  girl  —  a  thing  he 
had  never  done  before  in  his  life.  In  this  instance  he  con- 
sented for  the  sake  of  Frau  von  Friese,  with  whom  he 
was  very  good  friends.  But  he  told  me  afterwards  that 
he  was  glad  he  had  consented.  The  hours  spent  with  him 
were  not  given  over  strictly  to  lectures  from  him,  but 
rather  to  an  agreeable  interchange  of  ideas  on  the  matter 

101 


102        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

under  discussion.  My  observations  appeared  to  amuse 
and  interest  him  very  much.  I  remember  that  once,  hav- 
ing been  allowed  to  choose  my  own  subject,  I  wrote  an 
essay  outlining  a  new  law  to  help  the  unemployed.  Upon 
reading  the  title  he  looked  at  me  and  smiled,  but  when  he 
had  finished  the  essay  he  said :  "  You  should  keep  this. 
You  may  have  use  for  it  some  time.  There  are  some 
Utopian  ideas  which  you  will  discard,  but  the  rest  is  very 
good.  Unfortunately,  I  myself  am  not  an  expert  in  po- 
litical economy,  so  that  I  am  unable  to  advise  you.  But 
vou  seem  to  have  a  natural  talent  in  this  direction,  and 
will  not  need  much  instruction." 

We  spoke  of  many  subjects  together,  and  after  I  had 
related  to  him  the  miserable  experiences  I  had  had  with 
Father  Lambertus,  I  thanked  him  for  being  the  first  to 
teach  me  to  think  in  a  logical  way. 

By  chance  the  Professor  came  to  know  my  secret.  The 
discovery  was  made  one  afternoon  soon  after  my  return 
from  Gmunden.  It  had  been  arranged  that  he  should 
sometimes  give  me  my  lessons  in  the  library  instead  of  in 
my  study,  especially  when  I  was  engaged  upon  the  his- 
tory of  art ;  for  then  we  examined  illustrated  works  on  the 
subject,  which  were  too  large  to  be  carried  easily  into  the 
study.  Now  on  the  library  table  stood  a  framed  photo- 
graph of  my  mother.  On  the  first  day,  immediately  he 
entered  the  room,  he  noticed  it  and  remarked  quite  casu- 
ally, "  Ah,  the  Empress!  " 

"  M  —  mm!  "  was  all  I  could  mutter  in  reply.  I  really 
did  not  know  what  to  say.  He  stared  at  me  for  a  mo- 
ment, but  said  nothing  more  at  the  time. 

Another  afternoon,  not  long  afterwards,  Frau  von 
Friese  was  not  at  home,  and  Fraulein  Hain  was  with  us 
in  the  library,  when  suddenly  mother  arrived,  quite  un- 


PROFESSOR  KRAUS  103 

expectedly.  She  was  told  that  I  was  having  a  lesson, 
and  that  Frau  von  Friese  was  out.  Now  the  servant  had 
not  noticed  that  I  was  in  the  library,  and  it  was  this  very 
room  that  my  mother  entered  to  wait  until  I  should  come 
to  her.  It  happened  that  just  at  that  moment  we  were 
silently  examining  a  book,  so  that  not  even  our  voices 
gave  her  warning  of  our  presence.  She  opened  the  door 
—  and  imagine  her  stupefaction !  I  can  still  almost  hear 
her  little  cry  of  dismay  as  she  shrank  back  from  the  room. 
But  it  was  too  late.  Quickly  as  she  had  retired,  Profes- 
sor Kraus  had  seen  her  first.  Fraulein  Hain  rushed  out 
of  the  room.  The  Professor  looked  at  me  and  smiled, 
while  I,  I  should  imagine,  was  wearing  the  most  imbecile 
expression  that  a  human  being  could  wear.  The  Pro- 
fessor, however,  was  quite  equal  to  the  occasion.  Taking 
up  my  mother's  photo,  he  said:  "  Please  do  not  be  trou- 
bled, Princess."  He  sometimes  already  jestingly  ad- 
dressed me  thus.  "  On  the  day  that  you  answered 
'  M  —  mm,'  I  felt  that  I  had  not  made  any  mistake  when 
I  instinctively  gave  you  the  title  of  Princess ;  and  to-day 
I  am  doubly  proud.  It  is  none  of  my  business  to  mquire 
how  you  are  connected  with  the  Empress.  But,"  he 
continued  smihngly,  "if  it  will  reassure  you.  Princess, 
I  can  promise  you,  upon  my  honour,  that  I  can  keep  si- 
lence, and  I  hope  you  will  place  at  least  as  much  confi- 
dence in  me  as  you  do  in  your  servant." 

For  answer  I  gave  my  hand.  I  was  rather  touched  and 
could  only  say,  after  a  pause:  "  I  will  ask  *  the  authori- 
ties '  for  permission  to  tell  you  my  secret.  I  hope  it  will 
be  granted,  and  then  if  it  is,  I  shall  be  giving  you  the 
greatest  proof  of  my  confidence." 

The  Professor  now  took  his  departure  immediately* 
Mother,  when  I  entered  the  room  where  she  was  waiting 


104        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

for  me,  did  not  know  whether  to  laugh  or  not.  Of  course, 
she  was  somewhat  vexed  at  what  had  happened,  but  she 
was  not  disposed  to  take  the  affair  too  seriously.  Poor 
mother!  She  had  been  through  too  much  real  tragedy  to 
be  much  upset  by  such  a  trifle.  When  I  saw  a  smile  on 
her  face,  I  could  not  contain  my  pleasure.  And  then  I 
told  her  how  very  considerate  the  Professor  had  been,  and 
concluded  by  asking  if  I  could  not  tell  him  our  secret. 
Frau  von  Friese,  who  had  returned  while  this  was  going 
on,  assured  mother  that  he  was  really  a  trustworthy  per- 
son, and  so  mother  gave  a  gracious  consent. 

"  I  propose,  dear,"  she  said,  "  that  we  give  this  story 
a  pleasant  ending.  When  does  the  Professor  come 
again?  " 

"  The  day  after  to-morrow,  in  the  afternoon." 

"  Very  well,  then,  I  will  come  too.  But  before  I  see 
him.  Babe,  you  must  tell  him  who  you  are,  and  say 
that  after  the  lesson  your  mother  wishes  to  make  his  ac- 
quaintance, so  that  he  is  to  come  into  the  hbrary." 

I  was  so  happy  that  I  threw  myself  upon  her  to  kiss 
her,  and  put  my  two  arms  tightly  round  her  neck,  a  thing 
I  never  used  to  do ;  for  my  respect  for  her  would  not  allow 
me  to  do  so.  Usually,  when  my  feelings  were  stirred,  I 
would  kiss  her  hand  passionately,  and  then  she  would  take 
me  to  her  and  cover  my  face  with  kisses.  But  this  time 
I  was  quite  beside  myself  with  joy  at  the  granting  of  my 
prayer  concerning  the  Professor.  Mother  gave  the  con- 
strained little  laugh  peculiar  to  her  in  moments  of  nervous 
tension,  and  said  to  me,  "  Babe,  Babe,  soon  I  shall  be  un- 
able to  call  you  by  that  name.  You  seem  to  be  so  grown 
up  already  that  you  put  yourself  quite  on  a  level  with 
your  mother." 

I  hid  my  face  abashed  on  her  shoulder;  for,  gentle  as 


PROFESSOR  KRAUS  105 

her  words  had  been,  I  understood  that  they  conveyed  a 
rebuke.  She  had  her  own  pecuHar  way,  not  only  with 
me,  but,  I  beheve,  with  her  other  children  also.  In  her 
eyes  I  had  committed  a  great  error.  A  child  should  not 
be  so  familiar  with  her  mother.  And  she  was  right,  for 
a  mother  does  lower  herself  in  the  eyes  of  her  child  if  she 
does  not  insist  on  due  respect. 

However,  there  was  the  excitement  of  preparing  the 
revelation  for  Professor  Kraus  to  help  me  for  the  mo- 
ment to  forget  my  deserved  rebuff.  Two  days  after  the 
incident  in  the  library  I  had  another  lesson  from  him,  and, 
of  course,  immediately  confided  to  him  my  secret.  When 
I  told  him  that  I  was  the  daughter  of  the  Empress,  he 
was  overwhelmed  with  astonishment.  *'  I  was  eager  to 
know  who  you  really  were,  but  I  did  not  expect  that!  "  he 
exclaimed.  "  I  racked  my  wits  to  solve  the  problem,  but 
in  vain." 

As  mother  had  ordered  me,  when  the  lesson  was  over, 
I  asked  him  to  permit  me  to  present  him  to  her  in  the 
library.  He  appeared  quite  embarrassed  at  my  request. 
Not  being  a  courtier,  he  did  not  know  what  to  say,  and 
so  endeavoured  to  escape.  "  I  shall  be  most  honoured," 
he  stammered.  "  But  I  am  not  suitably  dressed.  And, 
besides,  what  shall  I  say  on  the  spur  of  the  moment,  all 
unprepared? " 

I  could  not  help  laughing,  and  tried  to  encourage  him, 
assuring  him  that  mother  was  far  more  unassuming  than 
any  woman  he  could  possibly  know;  and  as  for  his  cos- 
tume a  frock  coat  would  put  a  stop  to  all  friendliness. 

He  scratched  his  head  in  trepidation  still,  then  quickly 
passed  his  hand  over  his  hair  to  make  it  smooth  again, 
and  we  went  into  the  library.  His  embarrassment  did 
not  last  long,  for  mother,  when  she  wished,  could  be  more 


106        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

winning  than  anyone  else  I  ever  met,  and  now  she  was 
at  her  best.  She  gave  him  her  hand,  and  in  a  moment  put 
him  entirely  at  his  ease. 

They  talked  together  for  nearly  half  an  hour.  Mother 
told  him  how  she  had  heard,  through  me,  several  of  his 
ideas,  both  literary  and  psychological  —  ideas  which  in- 
terested her  very  much  and  which  she  wished  to  talk  over 
with  him  personally.  If  it  were  possible,  she  would  like 
to  be  present  at  my  next  few  lessons  from  him. 

And  indeed  she  did  come  several  times,  and  to  me  it 
was  really  a  pleasure  to  listen  to  them  discussing. 

"  Do  you  know,  Professor,"  mother  said  to  him  the  last 
day  on  which  she  came,  "  I  would  like  to  spend  some  time 
in  the  country  with  you,  where,  unhampered  by  conven- 
tion and  inspired  by  Nature,  we  could  freely  exchange 
our  views." 

She  spoke  in  her  impulsive,  charming  way,  which  really 
was  far  indeed  removed  from  flirting,  though  no  doubt, 
especially  when  she  was  younger,  it  might  easily  deceive 
a  man  with  a  good  opinion  of  himself. 

One  had  but  to  know  my  mother  to  realise  that  with 
her  to  say  a  thing  was  to  do  it.  Once  an  idea  entered  her 
mind,  she  proceeded  at  once  to  carry  it  out.  So  now,  be- 
fore she  left  for  Mentone,  she  said  to  me :  "  Now,  Wei- 
berl,  try  to  be  very  clever!  I  am  going  away  for  some 
time.  While  I  am  away,  you  must  think  of  some  plan 
by  which  we  can  spend  this  summer  together  without 
being  disturbed." 

Once  again  I  was  on  the  point  of  throwing  my  arms 
around  her  neck.  But,  guessing  my  impulse,  she  came 
towards  me  and  put  her  arms  about  my  shoulders.  I  was 
so  happy  I  almost  cried. 

Might  I  talk  with  Frau  von  Friese  about  the  plan?  I 


PROFESSOR  KRAtJS  107 

asked.  Of  course  I  might,  mother  answered;  and  we 
would  invite  Httle  Professor  Kraus  to  help  us  spend  the 
time. 

And  now  I  vainly  cudgelled  my  brains,  day  and  night, 
for  a  suitable  scheme  for  our  summer  holidays.  Frau 
von  Friese  would  teasingly  ask  me  how  far  I  had  got  in 
my  undertaking,  which  made  me  feel  desperate.  Some- 
where in  a  quiet  corner  of  the  world,  where  nobody  would 
come  to  disturb  us,  in  some  remote  little  country  place  we 
must  meet.  This  was  not  so  difficult.  No  one  in  the 
house  would  dream  who  mother  really  was.  But  how  to 
get  rid  of  her  attendants  quite  baffled  me.  So  time  passed 
on,  and  my  despair  increased,  for  I  naively  imagined  that 
mother  had  really  relied  on  my  ingenuity  to  find  a  plan. 
I  asked  Frau  von  Friese  how  mother  had  managed  in 
other  years  when  I  had  to  spend  weeks  and  weeks  with 
her. 

Then  I  had  been  a  little  girl,  Frau  von  Friese  replied, 
and  my  mother  might  have  been  supposed  to  have  taken 
me  with  her  out  of  charity  and  to  amuse  herself.  But 
now  I  was  too  big;  and,  besides,  I  had  grown  too  like  her 
in  appearance  for  anyone  to  miss  the  resemblance  and  be- 
lieve the  story  of  my  being  a  motherless  child  upon  whom 
the  Empress  had  taken  pity. 

How  relieved  I  was  when  mother  came  back  at  last 
and  I  found  that  it  did  not  really  depend  upon  me  to  in- 
vent the  plan !  She  soon  put  me  out  of  my  suspense.  As 
she  smilingly  asked  how  I  had  progressed  with  my  scheme, 
I  imderstood  all,  and  was  all  impatience  to  hear  what  she 
had  arranged.  She  had  discovered,  she  said,  a  charming 
little  place,  quite  near  Ischl.  It  was  so  close  to  the  Im- 
perial villa  that  she  could  easily  visit  me  for  a  short  time 
at  least  every  day.     As  she  was  in  the  habit  of  making 


108        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

long  excursions  from  Ischl  into  the  mountains,  it  was  very 
much  to  the  satisfaction  of  her  suite  when  she  suggested 
that  she  should  leave  them  at  home.  The  worst  that  could 
happen  was  that  she  might  have  to  take  some  of  her  more 
intimate  attendants  with  her  now  and  then.  Once  or 
twice  a  week  she  would  be  able  to  remain  away  overnight, 
and  if  at  any  time  she  did  not  feel  like  walking  she  would 
stay  with  me  in  my  home.  The  suite  would  only  say  that 
the  wandering  instinct  was  stronger  in  her  than  ever  be- 
fore, but  no  one  would  attempt  to  hinder  her.  So  this 
would  be  the  nicest  time  we  had  ever  spent  together. 

I  was  so  happy  that  I  could  have  danced  for  joy  as  she 
unfolded  her  plan.  And  she,  too,  seemed  to  be  in  such 
good  spirits  over  it  as  were  unhappily  not  too  common 
with  her  now. 

When  she  had  left  me  last  I  still  felt  some  little  shame 
over  my  too  impulsive  conduct  on  the  day  when  she  had 
granted  my  request  concerning  Professor  Kraus,  and  her 
mild  rebuke  still  dwelt  in  my  mind.  But  the  remembrance 
only  made  me  the  more  feverishly  anxious  to  see  her  again. 
She  had  gone  from  Vienna  to  Mentone  and  from  there 
for  a  cruise  in  the  Mediterranean.  Toward  the  end  of 
March  she  had  written  to  me  from  Corfu  and  sent  me  a 
marble  statuette  after  her  statue  of  Achilles.  By  doc- 
tor's orders  she  had  remained  at  Corfu  nearly  the  whole 
of  April.  But  the  enforced  rest  and  quiet  did  not  relieve 
her  nervous  trouble  so  much  as  the  doctor  had  anticipated. 
She  wrote  to  me  that  this  was  probably  on  account  of  her 
intense  longing  to  have  me  with  her.  She  was  so  forget- 
ful and  abstracted  at  the  time  that  her  attendants  would 
often  stare  at  her  in  wonder.     Poor  mother  I 

On  the  last  day  of  April  she  arrived  in  Budapest  to  be 
present  at  the  opening  of  the  exhibition  in  connection  with 


PROFESSOR  KRAUS  109 

the  Hungarian  millennium,  and  there  she  was  detained 
nearly  two  weeks.  My  diary  shows  me  that  it  was  on 
May  13,  1896,  that  she  came  at  last  to  see  me  again  in 
Vienna. 

On  the  day  that  I  knew  that  she  was  coming  to  me  my 
excitement  was  so  great  I  could  not  sit  still.  Every  few 
minutes  I  went  to  the  window  to  see  if  her  carriage  was 
in  sight.  The  more  impatient  I  became  the  more  time 
seemed  to  creep.  I  kept  looking  at  the  clock  to  see  if  it 
had  not  stopped.  Then  I  tried  to  read,  but  in  vain.  A 
carriage  would  pass  through  my  quiet  street,  and  again 
I  would  rush  to  the  window,  but  still  she  did  not  come.  I 
crept  into  the  library  and  finally  into  Frau  von  Friese's 
room,  like  a  fretful  child.  And  then,  at  last,  a  soft  i*um- 
bling  was  heard  from  afar,  there  was  a  rolling  of  the  car- 
riage under  the  porch,  and  my  heart  brimmed  over  with 
joy  and  happiness;  and,  laughing  and  shouting  at  the 
same  time,  I  sped  out  of  the  room  —  and  into  mother's 
arms.  How  can  I  describe  such  a  moment?  Words  fail 
me ;  but  I  can  recall  still  the  quiet  happiness  in  her  incom- 
parable eyes,  the  perfect  silence  of  the  first  moments,  and 
then  the  outburst  of  speech.  What  a  lot  we  had  to  talk 
about ! 

How  well  she  made  me  understand  the  intensity  of  her 
longing  for  our  meeting.  She  repeated  to  me  what  she 
had  so  often  written  already  about  the  days  of  torture  and 
the  nights  without  peace.  All  remedies  were  vain  —  all 
except  one,  at  least,  and  that  she  knew  she  must  not  take. 
If  she  had  sent  for  me  she  would  have  been  cured.  But 
I  must  be  left  to  my  studies,  and  so  she  conquered  her 
heart. 

Now  that  we  were  together  again  she  seemed  to  be 
trying  to  fathom  the  uttermost  depths  of  my  soul.     On 


110        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

my  part,  I  felt  bound  to  confess  to  her  every  thought  of 
mine,  however  insignificant.  She  looked  at  me  so  search- 
ingly  that  I  could  keep  nothing  from  her,  much  less  tell 
her  an  untruth.  These  moments  were  to  me  far  more 
sacred  than  an  actual  confession  to  a  priest  has  ever  been. 
Kneeling  at  her  feet,  I  could  have  prayed  to  her  as  to  a 
saint.  And  the  more  she  questioned  me,  the  more  I  loved 
her,  for  I  was  the  better  able  to  realise  how  great  was  her 
care  for  me. 

After  we  had  unburdened  our  hearts  like  this,  mother 
would  ask  Frau  von  Friese  to  come  to  the  drawing-room 
with  us,  and  the  time  would  pass  very  pleasantly,  for  their 
enjoyment  of  each  other's  society  never  grew  less.  Even 
now,  sometimes,  I  live  these  scenes  over  again.  On  even- 
ings when  the  silence  of  my  room  is  imdisturbed  save  by 
the  ticking  of  the  clock  or  the  whirl  of  some  passing  mo- 
tor-car, time  is  no  more,  and  I  am  at  one  with  the  past. 
Again  I  see  my  beloved  mother  sitting  in  the  large,  pale- 
blue  armchair,  her  small  white  hands  resting  on  its  arms, 
her  soft  smile  expressing  the  happiness  of  the  moment. 
Again  I  hear  her  low,  sweet  voice  mingling  with  Frau 
von  Friese's  cheerful  conversation,  which  always  seemed 
to  refresh  her  so.  And  then  comes  Pirker,  wearing  his 
most  solemn  expression,  and  almost  noiselessly  he  opens 
the  folding  doors  leading  into  the  dining-room.  Mechan- 
ically all  three  of  us  rise.  Mother  takes  my  arm,  and 
we  go  slowly  into  the  next  room.  The  conversation  is 
continued  while  Pirker  serves  the  tea,  and  with  it  usually 
mother's  favourite  dish,  cold  game-pie.  In  the  midst  of 
the  talk,  mother  takes,  it  may  be,  a  little  flask  out  of  her 
pocket.  It  is  of  crystal,  beautifully  cut,  and  has  a  golden 
stopper.  On  its  sides  is  a  representation  of  the  dance 
of  the  Nine  Muses  in  relief.     On  the  top  is  an  enamel 


PROFESSOR  KRAUS  111 

face,  wearing  a  black  mask,  the  eyes  being  little  diamonds. 
Frau  von  Friese  admires  the  flask,  but  with  some  restraint, 
for  she  knows  what  is  coming. 

"  Do  you  like  it,  my  dear  Friese?  I  bought  it  in  Paris. 
It  is  really  most  artistic." 

And  now  Frau  von  Friese  is  bound  to  acknowledge 
its  dehcate  beauty,  whereon  immediately  mother  says: 
"  Would  you  care  to  have  it,  dear  Friese?  Please  do 
me  the  favour  of  accepting  if.  It  is  none  the  worse  for 
the  few  weeks'  use  I  have  given  it.  Perhaps  it  will  re- 
mind you  sometimes  of  your  loving  friend." 

Slightly  embarrassed,  Frau  von  Friese  accepts  the  gift. 
I  cannot  remember  that  mother  ever  made  her  a  present 
as  if  she  were  saying,  "  Here  is  something  for  you."  She 
always  knew  how  to  manage  it  so  that  my  governess 
seemed  to  be  conferring  a  favour  upon  her  in  accepting  it. 

At  the  end  of  the  tea,  just  before  rising,  mother  slips 
something  surreptitiously  under  her  serviette.  But  Pir- 
ker  knows  very  well  what  it  is. 


CHAPTER  XII 

SOME  HAPPY  times;  AND  THE  PROFESSOE's  DIARY 

It  was  my  mother's  custom  to  remain  for  a  considerable 
part  of  each  spring  in  Vienna;  that  is  to  say,  at  her  own 
palace  of  Lainz.  This  year,  1896,  I  saw  more  of  her  than 
ever  before.  A  restless  eagerness  for  my  society  seemed 
to  possess  her.  She  usually  came  over  to  my  home  early 
in  the  morning,  and  we  either  took  long  walks  together 
or  else  she  remained  with  me  in  the  house.  She  took  an 
interest  in  the  smallest  matters  which  concerned  me,  and 
supervised  everything.  For  instance,  because  I  did  not 
hold  myself  well,  she  ordered  me  to  sleep  without  a  pillow 
on  my  bed.  As  I  did  not  place  my  feet  correctly  when 
walking,  she  directed  that  I  should  wear  iron  supports 
for  my  boots.  She  thought  I  was  growing  too  stout,  and 
so  I  was  put  on  a  special  diet,  which  deprived  me  of  my 
favourite  dishes.  Every  day  saw  some  new  command 
intended  for  my  good.  She  seemed  to  find  great  happi- 
ness in  being  thus  able  to  watch  over  me;  and  I,  for  my 
part,  was  both  happy  and  proud  that  I  absorbed  so  much 
of  her  thought  and  attention.  The  little  discomforts  of 
my  daily  programme  mattered  not  at  all  to  me.  I  felt 
with  delight  her  guiding  hand  in  all  the  details  of  my  life. 
At  the  end  of  May  the  Emperor  Francis-Joseph  went 
to  Budapest,  and  mother  was  quite  free  to  do  as  she 
wished.  Her  health  had  grown  very  much  better  during 
the  past  few  weeks,  and  she  was  often  in  quite  good  spir- 
its.    On  the  afternoon  of  the  day  the  Emperor  left  Vi- 

112 


THE  PROFESSOR'S  DIARY  113 

enna  she  came  to  see  me.  We  were  in  the  sitting-room 
after  our  five  o'clock  tea,  and  I  was  expecting  her  to  de- 
part within  the  next  quarter  of  an  hour.  But  I  noticed 
a  playful  smile  about  the  corners  of  her  mouth,  like  that 
on  the  face  of  a  card-player  about  to  put  on  the  trump 
card  that  will  win  the  game.  Leaning  back  in  her  arm- 
chair, she  looked  first  at  me  and  then  at  Frau  von  Friese. 
Neither  of  us  had  the  slightest  idea  of  what  was  to  come. 
Suddenly  she  turned  to  me  and  said,  "  Do  you  think. 
Babe,  that  you  could  find  room  enough  in  your  bed  for  me 
to-night?" 

I  was  so  amazed  that  at  first  I  could  not  realise  the 
meaning  of  her  words.  This  seemed  to  amuse  her 
greatly,  for  she  laughed  as  heartily  as  if  she  were  making 
up  for  years  of  restraint.  The  next  moment  I  was  out 
of  my  chair,  dancing  and  clapping  my  hands  as  I  shouted : 
*'  Mammi,  Mammi,  Jeckus !  Mammi,  ist's  moglich  Du 
bleibst  da?"  (If  I  had  been  a  little  American  girl  I 
might  have  said,  "Oh,  Gee!  Mamma,  do  you  mean  to 
say  you  're  stopping  right  here?  ") 

"  It  is  quite  true,"  mother  answered.  "  I  did  not  tell 
you  of  my  intention  before  because  I  wanted  to  enjoy 
your  surprise  more  thoroughly." 

Frau  von  Friese  now  suggested  that  it  was  not  neces- 
sary for  mother  to  sleep  in  the  same  bed  with  me.  But 
she  answered  that  it  was  just  here  that  the  pleasure  of 
the  whole  escapade  lay,  and  that  she  did  not  wish  it  other- 
wise. 

Mother  had  sometimes  lunched  at  my  home,  and  regu- 
larly took  tea  with  me ;  but  this  was  the  first  time  she  had 
ever  had  supper  with  me  in  Vienna,  in  fact  her  first  even- 
ing spent  with  me  except  on  the  occasion  of  my  accident. 
She  did  not  wish  us,  she  said,  to  add  anything  to  our  menu 


114        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

on  her  account,  except  some  Frankfurter  wiirstl  and 
horse-radish.  { This  hking  for  Frankfurt  sausage,  by  the 
way,  has  been  imputed  to  her,  if  not  as  a  crime,  at  least 
as  a  serious  error  of  taste!)  I  see  from  my  diary  that  we 
had  for  supper  also  herring  salad,  veal  cutlets  done  with 
bread-crumbs,  green  peas,  and  cakes  and  fruit.  It  is  curi- 
ous how  children  love  recording  such  details !  The  great- 
est fun  came,  however,  when  we  were  going  to  bed.  I  was 
so  big  that  she  could  wear  my  night-gown,  and  I  shrieked 
with  laughter  when  I  saw  her  attired  in  it.  We  slept 
together,  and  she  had  to  stop  me  talking,  or  else  I  should 
not  have  gone  to  sleep  at  all  that  night.  I  remember  well 
the  pleasing  impression  I  had  upon  first  waking  the  next 
day.  Mother  was  already  awake,  and  greeted  me  with  a 
bright  smile.  That  morning  there  were  no  lessons. 
Mina  had  a  difficult  task  in  brushing  and  combing 
mother's  hair,  and  it  was  Frau  von  Friese  who  had  finally 
to  arrange  it  to  the  best  of  her  ability.  I  have  often  won- 
dered how  mother,  with  her  quick,  impatient  nature,  could 
show  herself  so  particular  and  so  patient  over  the  dressing 
of  her  hair. 

The  same  afternoon  my  mother  left  us  and  she  pur- 
posely kept  away  on  the  following  day  so  as  to  prevent  too 
much  comment  on  her  conduct.  Further  to  lull  suspicion, 
she  went  for  a  long  excursion  with  the  Countess  Festetics 
and  Christomanos,  whom  she  had  recently  engaged  for 
the  second  time  as  her  Greek  reader.  They  visited  the 
Kahlenberg  on  June  1st,  my  diary  records.  On  June 
2nd,  however,  she  took  me  with  her  over  the  Helenenthal 
to  the  Eisenes-Thor  (the  Iron  Gate),  the  greatest  height 
in  the  neighbourhood  of  Vienna.  She  parted  with  me  at 
Baden  station,  and  from  there  I  went  the  same  day  to 
stop  with  the  Kaisers,  who  were  on  their  summer  holiday 


THE  PROFESSOR'S  DIARY  115 

at  Voslau.  On  June  1st  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Kaiser  had  cele- 
brated their  silver  wedding.  Among  other  presents  that 
Mrs.  Kaiser  received  was  a  pair  of  beautiful  grey  pearl  ear- 
rings, set  in  diamonds,  from  mother. 

It  was  arranged  that  I  should  go  to  Voslau,  because 
mother  was  obliged  to  pay  a  second  visit  this  year  to 
Budapest  in  honour  of  the  millennium  of  Hungary's  ex- 
istence as  a  nation.  There  was  a  great  assembly  on  this 
occasion  in  the  House  of  Magnates,  at  which  both  Em- 
peror and  Empress  (or  King  and  Queen,  as  I  should  say) 
were  present.  President  von  Szilghy  in  his  speech  paid 
special  homage  to  mother;  so  touchingly,  indeed,  that  it 
was  noticed  that  she  could  not  answer,  and  that  her  eyes 
filled  with  tears. 

On  the  10th  mother  returned  from  Budapest,  and  dur- 
ing the  remainder  of  the  month  we  met  frequently  and 
made  many  excursions  together  around  Vienna.  On 
July  1st  I  went  with  Frau  von  Friese  to  Ischl,  where 
mother  had  taken  a  place  for  me.  It  was  more  like  a 
hunting-box  than  a  villa,  but  was  none  the  less  cosy  for 
that.  It  stood  in  the  middle  of  a  park,  surrounded  by 
old  trees;  adjacent  to  it  were  farm-buildings  and  stables, 
which  gave  the  whole  a  very  rustic  appearance.  It  was 
quite  an  ideal  place  for  the  simple  life. 

Mother  did  not  arrive  until  two  weeks  later.  She  first 
went  to  Bavaria,  to  spend  some  days  at  Tegernsee  with 
her  brother,  the  Duke  Karl-Theodor.  With  him  she  went 
to  Hohenschwangau,  where  also  they  were  joined  by  my 
sister  Gisela,  wife  since  1873  to  Leopold,  second  son  of 
the  Prince  Regent  of  Bavaria.  On  July  4th,  only  three 
days  after  my  arrival  at  Ischl,  a  note  from  her  came  unex- 
pectedly to  Frau  von  Friese.  She  wrote  very  briefly,  and 
quite  in  her  own  characteristic  style :  — 


116        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

"  Bring  my  Babe  over  to  Hohensehwangau  on  Friday. 
Am  making  an  excursion  on  foot,  and  want  to  take  her 
with  me." 

This  idea  had  occurred  to  her  quite  suddenly,  and  she 
herself  posted  the  little  note.  The  knowledge  that  she 
was  only  a  few  hours  away  from  me  made  it  impossible 
for  her  to  resist  the  temptation  to  have  me  with  her.  With 
one  guide  we  made  the  journey  round  the  Plansee  to 
Linderhof,  and  remained  there  overnight.  For  this  one 
among  King  Ludwig's  palaces  I  have  never  cared.  It 
might  impress  simple  minds  as  being  magnificent,  but  to 
the  more  sophisticated  it  can  but  appear  as  lacking  in  re- 
finement. The  king  was  not  a  practical  architect,  and 
his  builders  had  ample  opportunities  of  tricking  him.  At 
the  end  of  two  days  I  returned  to  Ischl ;  but  mother  went 
to  Munich,  on  her  visit  to  the  grave  of  King  Ludwig.  On 
June  15th  she  arrived  in  Ischl. 

Of  the  pleasant  summer  idyll  this  year  at  Ischl  I  have 
a  description  written  by  an  abler  pen  than  mine  —  an  ex- 
tract from  the  diary  kept  by  Professor  Kraus.  I  must 
give  a  few  words  of  explanation  as  to  how  this  diary  came 
into  my  hands. 

One  rainy  afternoon,  after  my  mother's  departure  from 
Ischl,  Professor  Kraus  was  sitting  in  the  writing-room, 
with  a  manuscript  book  spread  out  on  the  table  before 
him.  As  I  went  up  to  the  table,  just  by  chance  my  eyes 
caught  the  word,  "  Princess."  Of  course,  I  immediately 
concluded  that  he  was  writing  about  myself. 

"Professor,"  I  cried,  "that  is  something  about  me! 
You  must  let  me  read  it.     Please,  please!" 

I  was  curious,  I  must  confess,  to  see  what  he  had 
written  —  not  so  much  about  me  as  about  mother.     But 


THE  PROFESSOR'S  DIARY  117 

that  I  should  ever  use  his  notes  one  day  in  a  book  of  mine 
was  about  the  last  thing  I  should  have  dreamt  of  then. 
Professor  Kraus  now  smiled  at  me  mischievously  through 
his  glasses,  and  told  me  that  it  was  impossible  I  could 
see  his  manuscript.  Still  I  persisted ;  and  still  he  refused. 
I  tried  all  ways  to  persuade  him.  He  must  have  said 
something  bad  about  me,  I  remarked  at  last.  He  accused 
me  of  vanity  in  thinking  he  had  written  only  of  me. 
Thereupon  I  became  offended  and  haughty,  which  had 
the  desired  effect.  He  protested  that  he  had  not  meant 
to  be  rude,  and  that  the  few  memoranda  which  he  had 
made  for  himself  alone  about  his  pleasant  visit  were  not 
worth  my  reading,  and  would  only  make  me  laugh.  I 
made  no  answer  and  pretended  to  be  unmoUified  —  until 
he  handed  me  the  book.  He  did  so  not  altogether  unwill- 
ingly, it  occurred  to  me  after,  for  he  could  not  really  be 
displeased  that  we  should  see  the  complimentary  things 
he  had  said  about  us. 

I  myself  was  so  delighted  with  what  Professor  Kraus 
wrote  and  his  manner  of  writing  that  I  copied  the  whole 
of  it  into  my  own  diary  before  I  returned  him  his  book. 
Here  is  what  he  said :  — 

"  July  llth^  1896.  Erau  von  Friese  and  the  Princess 
invited  me,  some  time  ago,  to  pass  a  few  weeks  at  their 
little  sunmier-place  near  Ischl.  Her  Majesty  also  took 
it  into  her  head  that  she  wanted  to  know  what  I  would 
be  like  in  the  country.  All  three  ladies  promised  me 
that  my  time  would  be  well  spent.  Now  that  is  just 
where  it  was.  My  time,  my  precious  time  —  should  I  risk 
its  loss  in  this  Court  atmosphere?  But  they  all  guaran- 
teed that  no  courtly  taint  should  be  allowed  to  reach  me; 
and  finally  I  accepted.     Very  many,  no  doubt,  would  be 


118        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

astonished  at  my  reluctance,  would  eagerly  grasp  at  such 
an  opportunity  and  look  upon  it  as  a  great  honour.  But 
this  is  how  I  am  built.  I  am  an  untamed  creature,  and  a 
little  bit  of  a  revolutionary.  I  don't  care  a  fig  for  these 
honours.  Why  then  have  I  accepted?  I  had  no  plan  for 
the  summer,  and,  to  make  it  worse,  all  my  friends  kept 
asking  me  the  same  dull  questions  — '  What  are  you  going 
to  do  with  yourself  this  year? '  *  Where  are  you  spending 
your  holidays  ? '  *  You  are  up  to  something  extraor- 
dinary again,  of  course? '  So  I  really  had  to  think  what 
I  could  do.  With  six  months  ahead  of  me  and  a  com- 
fortable balance  at  the  bank,  I  should  have  been  all  right. 
But  I  had  only  two  months,  and  funds  were  low !  Should 
I  go  to  some  place  for  the  waters?  Such  a  plan  never 
appealed  to  me.  Should  I  make  a  walking  tour  in  the 
mountains  ?  I  should  be  a  dwarf  amongst  the  giants,  and 
I  never  envied  the  pygmies.  Besides,  it  would  mean  toil- 
ing up  the  mountains,  and  I  am  too  lazy  for  that  sort  of 
thing.  What  about  the  seaside?  I  was  there  during  the 
whole  of  last  summer,  so  I  have  had  quite  enough  of  that. 
Then  there  was  the  simple  life  in  a  country  village.  What 
amusement  could  I  find  in  that?  Certainly  I  do  not  care 
a  snap  of  my  fingers  for  society.  But  total  isolation  — 
no  reasonable  man  could  stand  that  for  more  than  two 
days  at  a  stretch.     I  speak  from  experience! 

"  I  see  nothing  else  left  except  to  try  the  little  fairy 
castle.  I  do  not  expect  very  much,  but  perhaps,  after 
all,  there  may  be  some  surprise  in  store  for  me.  It  is 
true  there  will  only  be  women  there  —  yet  not  ordinary 
women.  I  have  a  rooted  aversion  to  the  word  '  superior,' 
and  only  use  it  sorely  against  my  will.  So  here  I  make 
a  vow  that  I  will  not  allow  myself  to  be  imposed  upon 
by  the  '  superiority '  of  their  birth. 


THE  PROFESSOR'S  DIARY  119 

"  Thus  it  came  about  that  early  in  the  morning  of 
July  9th,  my  one-horse  cab,  which  I  had  ordered  the  day 
before,  stood  at  my  door.  In  spite  of  the  early  hour,  the 
air  was  very  sultry.  Bon  voyage!  The  omens  are  good. 
In  such  weather  one  might  be  tempted  to  feel  sorry  for 
the  poor  people  who  have  to  remain  in  this  oven  of  a  city, 
but  then  I  am  not  so  kind-hearted  as  all  that.  The 
thought  only  made  me  feel  the  more  comfortable,  and  it 
was  with  a  cruel  and  malicious  joy  that  I  stepped  into  the 
cab.  My  trunk  was  already  on  the  box  beside  the  driver. 
At  a  crack  of  the  whip  Rosinante  sets  herself  in  motion. 
But  the  pace  is  not  very  great,  for  at  every  second  corner 
building  operations  are  in  progress,  filling  the  air  with 
an  atrocious  dust.  Again  we  have  to  stop  in  front  of 
reeking  cauldrons  of  liquid  tar,  belching  forth  their  poi- 
sonous fumes;  or  are  held  up  by  a  whole  file  of  rattling 
and  whistling  street-cars,  blocked  on  the  line.  Finally 
the  station  comes  in  view.  On  the  platform  there  is  a 
tremendous  bustle.  Every  compartment  is  overcrowded, 
and  each  passenger  wants  one  to  himself.  But  everything 
has  an  end  —  or,  rather,  a  beginning  —  and  so  we  begin 
to  move.  I  won't  describe  the  journey;  journeys  are  all 
very  similar.  There  are  the  mothers  with  their  families, 
hunting  in  the  racks  for  packets  of  provisions;  the  chil- 
dren quarrelling  over  a  magazine;  the  men  grumbling 
because  they  are  in  the  wrong  carriage  and  cannot  smoke ; 
the  old  maids  shivering  and  complaining  about  the 
draught;  and  so  on  and  so  forth. 

"  At  Ischl  station  an  elegant  two-horse  equipage  is 
waiting  for  me.  Adolph,  I  say  to  myself,  from  now  on 
you  must  play  the  grand  seigneur;  and  with  this  I  lie  back 
in  the  carriage  as  if  I  had  never  known  what  it  was  to 
walk.     The  drive  is  a  fairly  long  one.    We  pass  several 


120        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

farmhouses,  where  the  dogs  bark  after  us,  and  barefooted 
children  bow  humbly  —  to  the  elegant  carriage  rather 
than  to  its  occupant,  I  am  sure.  We  roll  past  woods  and 
meadows,  and  finally  turn  into  a  shady  chestnut  avenue. 
We  go  more  and  more  slowly,  and  just  as  I  am  beginning 
to  realise  how  dusty  and  dirty  I  look  and  am  pulling  out 
my  handkerchief,  we  stop  at  a  small  flight  of  steps.  It  is 
too  late.  Pirker,  the  Princess's  major-domo,  comes  to 
meet  me.  I  am  ushered  into  a  fairly  large  but  very  cosy 
hall,  with  bamboo  chairs  and  numerous  palms  and  ferns. 
All  is  perfectly  silent ;  quiet  and  rest  seem  to  smile  out  of 
every  corner.  Pirker  leads  me  up  one  flight  of  stairs. 
On  the  landing  stands  a  footman,  who  opens  the  door. 
For  a  moment  I  hesitate.  I  cannot  possibly  present  my- 
self before  the  ladies  in  such  an  untidy  state.  But  Pirker 
is  evidently  a  thought-reader,  for  he  says  immediately, 
*  This  is  the  Professor's  apartment.' 

"  Reassured,  I  step  in.  My  room  is  a  big  one.  There 
are  two  windows,  in  deep  recesses;  on  their  sills  stand 
flower-pots.  Between  the  windows  is  a  gigantic  desk, 
and  beside  it  a  book-shelf  full  of  books.  In  the  middle  of 
the  room  are  placed  a  large  sofa  and  two  heavy  leather 
chairs.  Against  the  back  wall  is  an  old  oak  wardrobe, 
and  the  bed  stands  in  an  alcove.  A  Persian  carpet 
spreads  over  the  whole  floor  and  gives  the  finishing  touch. 

"So  far  all  goes  very  well,  I  think  to  myself.  I  could 
not  be  better  lodged;  and  if  they  make  it  as  comfortable 
for  me  in  everything  else,  they  will  not  get  rid  of  me 
quickly.  Pirker  was  standing  behind  me.  '  If  the  Pro- 
fessor needs  anything,'  he  said,  *  will  he  please  just  ring 
the  bell?     The  footman  is  at  his  service.' 

"  I  nodded  a  dignified  assent  and  asked,  '  When  may  I 
pay  my  respects  to  the  ladies? ' 


THE  PROFESSOR'S  DIARY  121 

The  ladies  are  out  driving.  They  will  meet  the 
Professor  downstairs  in  the  hall  a  little  before  seven.' 
With  this  Pirker  bowed  low  and  retired. 

"  More  than  an  hour  and  a  half  still  remained  to  me 
before  the  rendezvous.  I  proceeded  to  make  myself  com- 
fortable and  ordered  a  bath.  I  lingered  over  one  thing 
and  another,  so  that,  before  I  realised  it,  it  was  already  a 
quarter  to  seven.  Slowly  and  quietly  I  went  downstairs, 
step  by  step.  Half-way  down  I  heard  already  the  cheer- 
ful noise  of  mingling  voices.  Scarcely  was  I  on  the  last 
step  when  the  Princess  rushed  toward  me  crying :  '  At 
last  you  are  here,  my  little  Professor ! ' 

"  Except  for  her  and  Frau  von  Friese,  I  did  not  know 
anybody.  I  was  presented  to  a  lady  with  exquisite  man- 
ners, the  Marquise  de  Pourtales;  to  an  old  clergyman 
from  Denmark,  Herr  von  Jordans ;  and  to  a  young  man, 
who,  as  I  afterwards  learned,  was  a  painter,  Raday  by 
name. 

"  The  whole  party  was  exceedingly  amiable  to  me,  prob- 
ably because  I  was  a  distraction  to  them.  We  conversed 
for  a  few  minutes,  and  then  Pirker  came  to  announce  with 
a  deep  bow  that  dinner  was  served.  He  was  the  only 
thing  in  the  place  to  remind  us  that  we  were  not  in  the 
presence  of  ordinary  mortals! 

"  Dinner  was  not  laid  in  the  dining-room ;  we  stepped 
out  upon  a  great  terrace.  One  could  not  imagine  any- 
thing more  delightful  than  the  view.  All  around  were  the 
dark  green  woods,  separated  from  the  house  only  by  a 
lawn,  dotted  here  and  there  with  blossoming  rose-bushes. 
On  the  terrace  itself  stood  groups  of  orange  trees  in  tubs, 
with  their  golden  fruit  shuiimering  amid  their  green  leaves. 
The  air  was  impregnated  with  the  scent  of  roses  and 
oranges,  pleasantly  mingled  with  a  faint  odour  of  the 


122        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

coming  meal,  which  reminded  one  of  matters  less  poetical, 
but  nevertheless  very  welcome  to  anyone  as  hungry  as  I 
was  at  that  moment.  The  dinner  was  really  excellent.  I 
do  not  know  why,  I  had  an  envious  feeling  that  I  must 
find  something  wrong,  something  to  criticise.  I  could  not 
resign  myself  to  an  admission  that,  for  once  in  my  life, 
everything  was  exactly  to  my  taste. 

"  We  remained  on  the  terrace,  after  drinking  our  coffee, 
vmtil  half-past  eleven.  A  lovely  summer  night,  with 
myriads  of  stars.     Princess  retired  about  nine  o'clock. 

"  July  12th.  One  can  have  breakfast  between  seven 
and  ten.  At  half -past  eight  I  was  on  the  little  veranda 
of  the  breakfast-room,  as  it  is  called.  This  room  is  a 
fine  example  of  the  old  German  stuhe  [living-room] ; 
time-blackened  panels  on  the  walls;  a  big  heavy  table  in 
the  middle,  with  high  carved  wooden  chairs  around  it; 
along  the  walls  the  typical  pewter-ware;  in  the  windows 
leaded  glass.  All  that  was  missing  to  complete  the  pic- 
ture was  some  old  character  of  the  right  period,  Hans 
Sachs,  Albert  Diirer,  or  the  like.  The  veranda  itself 
looked  more  like  a  summer-house,  all  overgrown  with 
vines. 

"  At  the  table  Frau  von  Friese  was  already  seated,  and 
at  her  side  the  clerg;y^man.  Just  as  I  arrived  Princess  also 
came  in,  with  the  Marquise  de  Pourtales.  Everyone 
greeted  the  others ;  a  few  words  were  exchanged,  but  soon 
silence  reigned,  for  each  of  us  was  satisfying  his  or  her 
hunger.  The  breakfast  was  an  ideal  one,  to  my  mind. 
Our  tea  was  brought  round  to  us;  but  everything  else 
stood  on  the  table,  and  we  helped  ourselves  as  we  liked  — 
to  pale-pink,  home-cured  ham,  fresh  crawfish,  pate  de  foie 
gras,  caviare,  eggs,  honey,  cherries,  strawberries,  apricots, 
and  cakes.     The  first  to  talk  again  was  the  old  clergyman, 


THE  PROFESSOR'S  DIARY  123 

who  had  been  earlier  at  the  table  than  the  others,  but  grad- 
ually the  conversation  became  more  animated. 

Please  do  not  take  any  notice  of  me,'  said  Frau  von 
Friese.  '  You  must  excuse  me  while  I  make  my  daily 
notes  in  this  book.' 

"  We  were  still  sitting  when  Pirker  brought  the  morn- 
ing post  to  us.  Frau  von  Friese  said  to  Princess  in  a 
most  matter-of-fact  way,  '  A  letter  from  your  mother.' 
Princess's  face  lighted  up  with  joy.  But  Frau  von  Friese 
read  the  letter  herself  and  put  it  on  one  side,  as  if  this 
was  the  natural  thing  to  do.  I  stared  in  amazement. 
Why  did  she  not  pass  her  the  letter?  Frau  von  Friese 
did  not  seem  to  notice  my  surprised  glances.  But  Prin- 
cess did,  for  she  looked  at  me,  and  I  imagined  that  I  could 
read  in  her  eyes  the  words,  '  You  see  what  I  have  to  put 
up  with ! '  I  cannot  tell  why,  but  suddenly  a  great  feel- 
ing of  pity  for  her  came  over  me. 

"  July  IMh.  Never  could  I  have  believed  that  I  should 
feel  so  much  at  home  as  I  do.  Everyone  does  as  one  likes 
here.     I  only  wish  life  could  go  on  like  this  always! 

"  Princess  has  an  admirable  character.  It  cannot  be 
easy  to  be  uniformly  patient  when  one  has  to  do  just  the 
contrary  of  what  one  would  like  to  do.^.  .  . 

*'  July  15th.  For  the  last  few  days  I  have  been  taking 
a,  walk  every  morning  with  Princess  at  seven  o'clock.  It 
is  a  lesson  in  psychology  that  I  am  supposed  to  give  her; 
but  while  we  call  it  psychology,  we  talk  about  everything 
under  the  sun. 

"  She  loves  her  mother  fanatically,  and  in  turn,  it  seems 
to  me,  is  completely  dominated  even  to  the  extent  of 

1 1  realise  acutely  that  I  must  ask  the  reader's  indulgence  when  I  repro- 
duce these  compliments  to  myself.  I  have,  indeed,  cut  out  some  sentences 
here  and  elsewhere,  in  which  the  Professor  passes  a  judgment  upon  me  whicli 
I  feel  to  be  unduly  favourable. 


124       THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

tyranny  by  her  mother's  love  for  her.  Everything  the 
child  thinks,  she  must  try  to  remember  so  as  to  be  able  to 
repeat  it  to  her  mother.  I  asked  her  what  obliged  her  to 
reveal  her  thoughts  thus;  whereupon  she  answered  me: 
*  For  nothing  in  this  world  would  I  hurt  my  mother  by 
refusing  her  anything.' 

"  '  Princess,  there  is  no  question  of  that,'  I  said.  *  What 
the  eye  does  not  see  the  heart  does  not  grieve  for.' 

"  *  Well,  I  shall  never  try  to  hide  any  of  my  thoughts 
from  mother.  And,  besides,  it  is  a  great  pleasure  to  me 
to  tell  them  to  her.' 

"  *  Now,  if  I  were  in  your  place,'  I  said,  '  I  should  tell 
what  pleased  me  and  keep  the  rest  to  myself.' 

"  '  Dear  Professor,  if  you  were  sitting  in  front  of  an 
angel  like  my  mother,  a  person  in  whom  you  could  never 
find  the  slightest  fault,  who  was  purer  than  all  the  world, 
could  you  then  have  the  heart  not  to  tell  her  all  that  she 
wanted  to  know  —  especially  if  you  understood  that  she 
only  expected  this  in  order  to  be  able  to  protect  you  the 
better? ' 

"  '  Then,  Princess,  not  one  single  idea  belongs  to  you 
alone? ' 

"  '  No,  not  one.' 

"  A  question  came  into  my  mind,  but  I  did  not  know 
how  to  put  it.  Forgetting  that,  in  spite  of  her  grown-up 
ways,  she  was  still  but  half  a  child  —  and  my  pupil  to  boot 
—  I  determined  to  ask  it. 

"  '  Princess,'  I  began,  *  as  we  are  studying  psychology, 
there  is  a  problem  which  I  should  like  to  ask  you  to  solve.' 

"*Ask  it.  Professor;  I  hope  I  shall  be  able  to  give 
you  a  satisfactory  answer.' 

"  *  I  am  very  bold,  Princess,  for  I  am  going  to  ask  you 
a  question  which  even  Her  Majesty  has  never  asked.' 


THE  PROFESSOR'S  DIARY  125 

"  I  paused  for  a  moment.  Princess  was  walking  a  step 
ahead  of  me,  and  although  I  bent  down  to  pull  a  blade 
of  grass  to  induce  her  to  stop,  she  did  not  do  so.  I  put 
my  question  therefore. 

"  '  Princess,  did  you  never  lie  awake  in  bed? '  I  asked. 

"  On  this  she  did  stop  for  a  moment,  and  she  fixed 
a  pair  of  astonished  eyes  on  me,  as  if  she  now  would  ask 
me  for  the  solution  of  an  enigma.  Did  she  understand 
me,  or  did  she  not?  Still  she  said  nothing,  and  I  was 
forced  to  continue :  — 

"  '  I  remember  you  told  me  that  you  were  once  ill  for 
a  long  time,  and  you  had  to  remain  in  bed.  .  .  .  Princess, 
about  what  used  you  to  think  then? ' 

"  '  Oh,  about  all  sorts  of  beautiful  things  —  things  that 
one  can  never  really  experience  in  this  world.' 

"  The  absolute  candour  of  her  reply  was  such  as  could 
only  come  from  perfect  purity  of  mind. 

"  *  And  you  have  shared  all  those  dreams  with  your 
mother? ' 

" '  Mother  once  questioned  me.  Professor,  in  the  same 
way  as  you;  but  with  this  difference  —  that  she  wanted 
also  to  know  all  the  details.  At  first  I  hesitated  and  —  I 
will  be  frank.  Professor  —  I  even  cried  a  little  when  I 
was  forced  to  confess  these  thoughts  of  mine.  But  mother 
made  me  understand  tjohy  I  should  confess  everything.' 

*' '  And  you  have  never  the  slightest  doubt,  Princess? ' 

"  *  A  doubt  about  my  mother? ' 

"  I  looked  at  her  for  a  long  time.  She  is  a  strange 
creature  —  so  intelligent,  and  so  independent,  so  quick- 
witted for  her  age,  and  yet,  in  spite  of  all  this,  her  self- 
denial  is  so  great.  Again  I  had  that  peculiar  impression 
I  have  so  often  had  of  her,  that  she  really  likes  this  life 
of  self-denial  and  effacement. 


126        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

"  July  ISth.  The  Empress  Is  here  now.  The  charm 
of  our  little  society,  strange  to  say,  has  only  increased 
since  she  came.  I  imagined  that  everything  would  be- 
come stiff  and  uncomfortable,  and  am  astonished.  Of 
course  she  decidedly  dominates  all,  but  she  would  dominate 
just  the  same  if  she  was  not  the  Empress  of  Austria. 
She  has  a  kind  of  triumphant  grace  about  her;  and  what 
is  so  peculiar  is  that  one  can  never  for  a  moment  think  of 
her  as  an  elderly  lady.  She  is  not  in  as  good  health  as 
usual,  and  cannot  gratify  so  much  as  she  would  wish  her 
passion  for  mountain  climbing.  We  have  a  great  deal  of 
music.  Frau  von  Friese  has  a  glorious  voice,  and  Prin- 
cess accompanies  her.  The  painter  also  sings  very 
well.  .  .  . 

"  July  26th.  To-day  I  had  a  walk  with  the  Empress 
alone.  After  discussing  all  sorts  of  subjects,  she  said 
something  which  led  to  a  long  conversation :  — 

"  '  People  do  not  understand  the  way  in  which  I  treat 
my  daughter.  The  day  will  come  when  they  will  under- 
stand my  intentions.  My  method  is  obscure  to  you,  too, 
Professor,  is  it  not? ' 

"  This  brusque  question  took  me  by  surprise,  and  I 
answered  in  some  embarrassment :  *  I  admit,  your  Ma- 
jesty, that  I  don't  entirely  understand  it.* 

"  '  For  instance,  Professor,  I  allow  my  child  so  little 
freedom  of  thought.' 

"  I  could  see  that  the  topic  had  not  come  up  merely 
by  chance. 

"  *  But  it  is  really  awful,'  I  blurted  out,  letting  my 
tongue  run  away  with  me. 

"  *  Awful? '  repeated  the  Empress.  *  Awful  for 
whom? ' 


THE  PROFESSOR'S  DIARY  127 

"  *  Why,  the  Princess,  your  Majesty.  This  imprison- 
ment of  the  thoughts,  just  at  the  age  when  the  fantasy 
is  beginning  to  develop  so  rapidly.  .  .  .' 

"  '  Yes,  and  to  bring  with  it  mischief  upon  mischief. 
Is  it  wrong,  then,  if  I  talk  over  everything  with  my 
daughter  and  enlighten  her  in  my  own  way,  and  keep 
from  her  the  wrong  impressions  which  she  might  get  from 
others?  You  call  this  imprisoning  her  thoughts.  Profes- 
sor? '  She  gave  a  low  laugh,  and  continued  banteringly: 
*  Professor,  do  not  look  so  gloomy.  I  am  not  in  the  least 
annoyed  with  you.  On  the  contrary,  I  thoroughly  under- 
stand you  because  you  have  the  common  point  of  view. 
But  think.  Professor,  of  the  gnawing  worm  which  eats 
into  the  heart  of  the  child  brought  up  according  to  the 
current  ideas.  Let  us  be  logical.  If  a  child  does  an  ex- 
ercise badly  or  answers  in  a  way  it  should  not,  we  are 
allowed  to  scold,  to  punish,  yes,  even  to  whip  it  —  are  we 
not?  Or  if  a  child  reads  a  forbidden  book,  we  take  away 
the  book  and  we  blame  the  poor  child.  But  the  Book  of 
the  Soul,  which  we  read  every  night  when  we  lie  in  our 
beds,  which  in  our  youth  excites  us  so  much  sometimes 
that  a  cold  perspiration  runs  down  our  foreheads;  this 
book  we  must  leave  open  for  the  child,  with  its  restless 
imagination,  to  read.  This  is  your  view,  is  it  not,  Profes- 
sor, that  we  should  not  interfere?  So  that,  in  fact,  all 
we  must  do  for  the  moral  education  of  the  child  is  to  give 
the  outer  surface-polish.  We  all  forget  our  own  youth 
so  quickly,  and  we  find  it  only  too  easy  to  say,  "I  let  my 
child  develop  itself  after  its  own  instincts."  Think  over 
this.  Professor.  Remember  how  the  worm  has  gnawed 
into  your  own  heart.  When  tlie  fruit  is  once  attacked, 
there  is  no  longer  any  hope  for  it.     It  must  decay.    And 


128        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

the  moral  beauty  of  the  modern  human  being  is  in  the 
same  way  attacked  and  decays.' 

"  She  paused,  as  if  absorbed  in  the  ideas  which  crowded 
in  upon  her.  As  for  me,  I  was  so  startled  and  impressed 
by  her  words  that  I  could  not  speak.  But  she  did  not 
expect  me  to  answer,  and  continued: 

" '  My  own  life,  too,  has  been  devoured  by  the  worm, 
only  with  time  the  ravages  have  gone  so  deep  that  they 
seem  lost  to  sight.  But  I  knew  well  the  hardship  of 
struggling  against  the  forces  of  evil  all  alone,  with  no 
one  to  give  counsel.  What  I  have  longed  for  all  my  life, 
and  what  I  have  never  been  able  to  get,  this  I  want  for 
my  child  —  the  true  purity  of  the  soul,  the  serenity  of 
mind  that  comes  from  knowledge  —  in  a  word,  peace.  It 
was  at  a  time  of  dreadful  loneliness,  when  I  had  nearly 
lost  all  hope  in  life,  that  destiny  presented  me  with  this 
child;  and  more  by  instinct  than  by  reason  I  recognised 
that  this  was  my  work  in  life ;  that  for  this  purpose  I  had 
to  come  into  the  world.  I  educate  my  child  with  every 
impulse  of  my  heart  and  soul.  I  agree  that  to  strangers 
my  methods  may  seem  like  tyranny.  But  that  I  do  not 
mind  so  long  as  I  am  fortunate  enough  to  be  able  to  say 
that  such  an  idea  has  never  occurred  to  my  child.' 

"  We  sat  down  on  a  bench,  where  both  of  us  remained 
silent,  until  at  last  I  felt  that  I  must  say  something. 

"  '  Your  Majesty,  it  is  worth  the  trouble  you  are  tak- 
ing. I  really  know  the  feelings  that  Princess  has  for 
you.' 

"  At  these  words  she  smiled  a  little  mockingly. 

*'  *  Have  you  not  found  out  that  I  know  this  also  ? '  she 
asked ;  '  that  she  has  told  me  of  what  you  talked  together  ? 
You  yourself  are  something  of  a  worm,  you  know.  Profes- 
sor!    However,  you  see,  I  am  afraid  of  nothing.     You 


THE  PROFESSOR'S  DIARY  129 

can  talk  to  her  about  anything  you  hke,  but  just  imagine 
the  chaos  in  this  young  brain  if  a  number  of  Professor 
Krauses  were  to  talk  to  her,  each  with  a  different  set  of 
ideas,  and  she  had  to  puzzle  it  all  out  by  herself.  How 
could  she  recover  her  peace  of  mind  if  every  day  brought 
new  impressions  and  new  views?  The  end  of  it  all  would 
be  a  ruined  existence,  in  spite  of  all  her  talents  and  good 
qualities.' 

"  She  was  silent  again,  and  I  could  find  no  words.  I 
would  have  liked  to  listen  for  hours  and  hours  to  this  won- 
derful woman.  She  seemed  to  have  become  quite  a  dif- 
ferent being  in  my  eyes.  This  elegant  creature,  who  had 
at  first  struck  me  as  so  fantastic  and  exuberant,  this  dis- 
tinguished and  fascinating  great  lady,  was,  after  all,  but 
a  tortured  and  unhappy  woman.  I  felt  myself  over- 
whelmed with  a  respectful  compassion  for  her  august 
grief.  What  I  had  mistaken  for  an  affectation,  a  pose, 
was  perfectly  genuine.  Her  melancholy  was  not  only  the 
result  of  her  son's  death ;  it  was  of  the  very  essence  of  her 
soul.  The  scales  fell  from  my  eyes.  I  held  the  secret  of 
the  long  martyrdom  of  a  life  whose  sadness  had  always 
seemed  to  me  impossible  to  explain.  I  knew  now  the  in- 
justice of  all  those  who  affect  to  pity  her  without  believing 
in  her  real  unhappiness,  and  who  make  fine  phrases  to  de- 
pict her  as  a  type  of  Our  Lady  of  Sorrows. 

"  She  is  so  great,  so  above  all  other  women.  Every  one 
of  her  ideas  is  noble,  to  the  extent  that  ordinary  common 
humanity  cannot  understand  them.  She  must  suffer  in 
the  same  way  as  an  artist  of  genius  who  is  denied  recog- 
nition in  his  life,  and  has  to  wait  for  death  to  become 
known.  With  the  highest  ideals  in  her  soul,  she  ascended 
to  a  throne ;  and  there  '  the  worm  '  of  which  she  speaks  at- 
tacked her.     There  was  no  one  to  protect  her  against  it, 


130        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

no  one  even  to  warn  her.  Had  she  but  escaped  she  would 
have  reahsed  her  ideal  of  what  a  woman,  a  mother,  and  a 
sovereign  should  be.  Unappreciated  as  few  persons  in 
history  have  been,  she  gave  up  the  fight.  But  she,  of 
whom  it  has  been  lightly  said  that  she  is  misanthropic,  has 
spoiled  her  life  by  too  great  a  love  for  humanity.  She 
does  not  hate  the  people ;  she  loves  them  too  much.  But, 
just  as  a  rejected  lover  shuns  the  faithless  and  ungrateful 
object  of  his  love,  so  she  has  shunned  them,  and  like  him 
again  she  pretends  to  feel  scorn. 

"  And  now  she  has  but  one  object;  she  wishes  to  save 
her  child  from  her  own  fate.  I  hope  with  all  my  heart 
that  she  may  succeed.  It  seems  as  if  Fate  would  reward 
her  for  her  admirable  perseverance.  .  .  . 

"  Such  were  the  ideas  flying  through  my  head,  when  the 
Empress  got  up,  without  speaking  another  word.  Si- 
lently we  walked  towards  the  house,  both  of  us  deep  in 
thought. 

''August  27th.  The  Empress  has  gone  away  again. 
It  was  a  hard  separation  for  both  mother  and  daughter. 
I  cannot  understand  why  the  Empress  does  not  put  an 
end  to  this  torture.  I  even  made  a  remark  to  that  effect 
the  morning  before  she  left,  but  she  answered :  *  No,  no ; 
that  would  be  weakness,  and  quite  against  my  views.  She 
is  not  yet  far  advanced  enough  in  her  education  for  that.' 
Then,  turning  toward  Princess,  she  said:  *  She  has  both 
courage  and  good  sense.     Is  not  that  so,  Weiberl? ' 

"  Princess,  who  is  usually  so  brave,  only  nodded  her 
head.  She  could  hardly  keep  back  her  tears,  which  she 
wished  to  hide  for  her  mother's  sake  —  and  also,  no  doubt, 
because  such  a  weakness  is  forbidden  to  her." 

This  ends  the  extract  which  I  am  making  from  the 


THE  PROFESSOR'S  DIARY  131 

Professor's  diary.  There  are  other  pages  detailing  his 
conversations  with  Frau  von  Friese  and  the  views  which 
she  imparted  to  him  concerning  the  rigid  discipHne  to 
which  I  was  subjected.  But  further  extracts  would  really 
add  nothing  to  what  I  have  already  given  here. 


CHAPTER  XIII 

CONFIDENCES 

The  days  of  this  sojourn  at  Ischl,  of  which  the  reader  has 
just  heard  what  Professor  Kraus  had  to  say,  were  among 
the  most  dehghtful  in  my  whole  life.  After  my  mother's 
arrival  I  could  spend  my  time  almost  uninterruptedly  with 
her.  Our  pleasure  was  not  marred  by  those  thoughts  of 
a  speedy  parting  that  always  bring  with  them  the  dread 
of  leaving  something  unsaid  which  it  is  most  essential  to 
say.     This  feeling,  so  often  with  us,  was  absent  now. 

But  the  shadows  which  overhung  our  lives,  if  less  in 
evidence  than  usual,  were  not  altogether  away.  Mother 
was  not  in  good  health  at  the  time.  She  had  many  sleep- 
less nights.  Through  this,  however,  she  spent  them  all 
the  oftener  with  me.  I  would  lie  with  her  in  her  bed  or 
sit  by  her  until  late  in  the  night.  To  me  this  was  a  source 
at  once  of  joy  and  of  surprise;  for  she  did  not  seem  able  to 
endure  anyone  else  with  her  for  long  at  a  time. 

It  must  be  admitted  that  she  sometimes  sorely  tried  the 
patience  of  those  about  her.  But  I  cannot  remember  that 
she  ever  had  an  impatient  word  for  me.  What  made  me 
prouder  still  was  that  she,  who  was  so  sparing  of  her  words 
with  others,  seemed  never  tired  of  talking  with  me.  Even 
those  most  closely  connected  with  her  did  not  dare,  or, 
perhaps  I  should  say,  did  not  attempt  to  hold  long  con- 
versations with  her,  on  account  of  her  great  weariness. 
Yet  I  could  talk  with  her  for  hours  without  appearing  to 

132 


CONFIDENCES  133 

weary  her.  On  the  contrary,  she  would  grow  animated 
and  refreshed. 

Once  I  asked  her  about  this;  and  she  told  me  that,  in 
the  first  place,  she  liked  the  conversation  of  young  girls, 
who  seemed  to  her  more  unspoilt  than  anything  else  by 
the  influence  of  the  world  —  as  though  they  still  exhaled 
the  perfume  which  Nature  gives  her  sweetest  flowers. 
And  then,  as  I  was  moulded  after  her  own  ideas,  in  talk- 
ing with  me  she  was,  as  it  were,  talking  with  her  younger 
self. 

Further,  our  continual  separations  had  a  peculiar  in- 
fluence upon  her.  With  other  people  she  was  always 
conscious  that  she  could  see  as  much  of  them  as  she  wished, 
with  the  result  that  she  grew  impatient  and  tired.  With 
me  it  was  like  being  in  some  favourite  spot,  where  she  was 
supremely  happy,  but  from  which  she  knew  she  must  soon 
depart.  Everything  grew  doubly  dear  from  the  fact  that 
it  must  be  left  behind.  My  words  were  treasured  up  by 
her  like  the  wild  flowers  from  the  woods,  treasured  in  joy 
mingled  with  sorrow  that  soon  they  would  be  with  her  no 
more. 

Is  it  wonderful  that  I  should  feel  happy  at  the  remem- 
brance of  her  words?  And  have  I  not  the  right  to  think 
that,  in  all  those  years  that  we  were  together,  there  was 
no  living  being  for  whom  she  cared  as  she  did  for  me? 

I  cannot  pretend  to  recall  all  the  occasions  of  our  con- 
versations or  the  exact  words  used.  I  was  no  Professor 
Kraus,  to  transfer  to  my  diary  the  talk  of  each  day.  My 
memory  goes  back  to  some  days,  however,  with  the  utmost 
vividness,  and  even  the  very  words  seem  to  me  still  to  live. 
There  was  an  occasion,  not  long  before  the  time  of  which 
I  have  been  writing  I  should  imagine,  when,  as  we  sat 
alone  together,  I  said  to  her  suddenly,  "  Mother,  do  you 


134       THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

love  my  brotHer  and  sisters  as  much  as  you  love  me?  "  It 
was  one  of  those  thoughtless,  impulsive  questions  to  which 
I  fear  that  I  was  rather  prone.  I  could  feel,  by  my 
mother's  trembling  hands,  how  much  I  had  hurt  her.  She 
merely  answered,  however,  that  the  others  did  not  need 
her  now.  *'  And  Rudy  is  no  longer  alive,"  she  added  in 
a  whisper. 

My  heart  ached  at  the  tone  of  her  voice.  I  could  not 
say  a  word,  but  lost  control  over  myself,  hid  my  face  in 
her  lap,  and  broke  into  sobs.  Since  the  day  when  the 
servant  had  come  into  my  nursery  and  said,  "  The  Crown 
Prince  is  dead  I "  no  mention  of  him  had  ever  been  made 
in  my  presence.  I  had  never  properly  realised  that  my 
mother's  only  son,  my  brother,  could  be  the  same  Crown 
Prince  who  had  died  so  many  years  ago.  My  thoughts 
were  all  in  confusion.  When  I  raised  my  face,I  saw  that, 
though  mother  had  been  weeping,  she  had  mastered  her- 
self again.  She  told  me  not  to  grieve  over  what  I  had 
said.  For  a  long  time  she  had  been  desiring  the  moment 
when  the  last  barrier  between  us  might  be  broken  down, 
and  we  might  speak  freely  on  these  subjects  too.  It 
would  do  her  good  that  I  should  ask  whatever  I  wished. 

I  was  emboldened  by  her  words  and  said,  "  Had  Rudolf 
then  been  your  favourite?"  "He  was  my  only  son," 
she  replied,  "  a  boy  with  a  heart  of  gold.  The  world  into 
which  he  was  born  was  not  worthy  of  him,  and  his  nobihty 
and  his  faith  in  his  friends  cost  him  his  life."  "  How  did 
he  die?  "  I  asked.  But  she  shook  her  head.  "  Weiberl," 
she  said,  "  I  cannot  speak  of  this  to  you  to-day.  You  must 
first  learn  something  about  poHtics  and  the  creeping  base- 
ness of  it  all." 

I  went  on  to  ask  about  my  sisters,  and  pressed  her  to 
tell  which  of  us  she  preferred.     Gisela,  she  said,  had  been 


CONFIDENCES  135 

educated  by  her  grandmother,  and  was  married  very 
young.  Valerie,  although  nominally  under  mother's  con- 
trol, was  not  brought  up  according  to  her  wishes.  Only 
with  me  had  she  the  opportunity  of  carrying  out  her  ideas. 
I  was  all  hers,  and  therefore  the  nearest  to  her  heart.  As 
I  heard  her,  I  felt  as  if  the  highest  of  all  decorations  had 
been  conferred  upon  me  I 

I  shall  now  take  the  opportunity  of  speaking  of  my 
sisters,  though  it  must  be  understood  that  what  I  say  here 
was  not  all  told  me  by  my  mother  at  one  time ;  nor  indeed 
all  told  me  by  her  alone,  as  I  shall  have  to  refer  to  some 
events  which  happened  after  her  death.  Much  of  what  I 
have  to  tell,  however,  was  derived  directly  from  my 
mother's  own  words  to  me. 

Of  Gisela  she  never  spoke  much.  The  fact  of  her  being 
brought  up  by  the  Archduchess  Sophia  made  a  great  gulf 
between  them.  Then  Gisela  on  her  marriage  in  1873  to 
Prince  Leopold,  second  son  of  the  late  Prince  Regent  and 
brother  of  the  new  King  of  Bavaria,  became  a  Bavarian 
by  residence.  Though  visiting  Ischl  every  summer,  she 
had  and  still  has  her  home  in  Munich.  Her  husband  is 
a  man  of  no  great  significance,  and  a  strong  contrast  to  his 
brother.  King  Ludwig  III,  who  has  both  character  and 
charm.  Both  husband  and  wife  are  good-natured,  simple, 
and  insignificant  —  and  therefore  happy.  They  have 
four  children.  The  elder  daughter,  Elisabeth,  created  a 
sensation  in  1893  by  marrying  Baron  Otto  von  Seefried,  a 
mere  lieutenant  in  the  Bavarian  army.  The  Emperor 
Francis-Joseph  gave  a  reluctant  consent,  but  Gisela  so 
strongly  resented  the  match  that  she  has  not  made  up  her 
quarrel  with  her  daughter  since.  At  the  time  of  the  mar- 
riage my  mother  was  in  Majorca,  whence  she  telegraphed 


136        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

to  the  Emperor,  advising  that  their  grandchild  should  be 
ordered  to  Vienna  —  not  to  separate  her  from  her  hus- 
band, but  to  protect  them  both  from  scandal  and  hostil- 
ity. 

Gisela's  younger  daughter  Augusta  married  the  Arch- 
duke Joseph,  the  elder  of  the  two  grandsons  of  Joseph, 
Prince  Palatine  of  Hungary,  brother  of  the  Emperor 
Francis  II ;  wife  and  husband  thus  being  distant  cousins. 

Of  the  two  sons  of  Gisela  and  Leopold,  the  elder, 
George,  married  only  two  years  ago  Isabella,  daughter 
of  the  Archduke  Frederick  and  the  Archduchess  Isabella. 
The  marriage  was  a  very  unhappy  one,  the  bride  running 
away  after  but  two  weeks.  Having  a  genuine  affection 
for  her  mother-in-law,  she  consented  to  return.  But  her 
husband's  faults  were  too  grave  to  be  tolerated,  and  last 
year  she  succeeded  in  having  the  marriage  declared  void  by 
the  Supreme  Court  of  Bavaria  and  annulled  by  the  Pope. 
The  Emperor  Francis-Joseph  was  very  upset  over  the 
affair,  and  was  almost  made  ill  again.  The  other  brother, 
Conrad,  who  is  just  over  thirty  and  still  unmarried,  as  yet 
has  made  no  mark  in  history. 

Of  Valerie  mother  always  spoke  much  more  freely  than 
of  Gisela.  She  felt  bitterly  the  farce  that  had  been  played 
when  it  was  pretended  she  should  have  the  control  of  this 
her  second  living  daughter.  Even  when  Valerie  was  quite 
small  this  was  really  not  the  case.  The  ordinary  relation- 
ship between  parent  and  child  was  not  allowed  to  exist. 
They  did  not  even  have  their  meals  together.  Valerie  had 
from  her  earliest  days  her  own  servants  and  her  own  cook, 
who  travelled  with  her  wherever  she  went.  So  far  was  the 
separation  carried  that  when  mother  went  for  a  summer 
hoHday  to  Feldafing,  in  Bavaria,  for  instance,  she  would 
stop  at  Strauch's  Hotel  (now  the  Hotel  Kaiserin  EHsa- 


CONFIDENCES  137 

beth),  while  Valerie  must  not  be  lodged  there  but  in  the 
house  of  the  clerg}Tnan  of  the  place.  What  intimacy 
could  there  be  in  a  state  of  affairs  like  this? 

Valerie  was  very  timid  as  a  child,  so  much  so  that  mother 
found  it  difficult  to  extract  from  her  what  she  reall}^  knew. 
Her  education  was  not  at  all  according  to  mother's  wishes. 
It  was  one-sided.  She  was  taught  a  great  deal,  while  her 
character  was  given  httle  chance  to  develop.  She  had 
many  teachers  and  governesses,  all  of  whom  idolised  her; 
not  one  of  them  ever  treated  her  with  the  strictness  neces- 
sary at  times  for  a  child's  good.  Xo  doubt  the  fact  of  her 
being  the  youngest  so  long  had  much  to  do  with  the  spoil- 
ing she  received.  But  it  was  the  educational  system  which 
was  mainly  at  fault.  Through  an  original  gentleness  of 
disposition  she  did  not  grow  so  capricious  as  to  make  the 
lives  of  those  about  her  a  miserj^  to  them.  But  she  cer- 
tainly became  in  the  end  obstinate,  self-willed  and  proud  of 
her  attainments.  It  was  claimed  that  she  was  very  clever. 
As  a  matter  of  fact,  she  was  neither  clever  nor  yet  stupid. 
One  of  her  teachers  was  the  celebrated  Joseph  Levinsky, 
the  Viennese  actor  and  professor  at  the  Conservatorium. 
He  first  taught  her  elocution,  as  she  had  a  very  weak  voice. 
For  long  he  could  make  nothing  of  her,  and  he  was  asked 
to  undertake  her  instruction  in  deportment  as  a  princess 
—  how  to  walk,  how  to  carrj^  her  fan,  etc. 

Such  things  as  these  she  undoubtedly  learned.  And  in 
the  meanwhile  her  moral  nature  was  starved.  She  was 
never  shown  how  to  go  down  deep  into  the  human  heart 
nor  to  understand  the  serious  questions  of  hfe,  which  was 
my  mother's  idea  of  education.  How,  indeed,  could  she 
grasp  the  reahty  of  sorrow,  when  charity  was  taught  her 
by  sending  her  out  in  a  carriage  at  Ischl  to  throw  sweet- 
meats to  the  peasant  children?    Although  her  intimate 


138        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

friends  —  among  whom  the  principal  is  the  Countess  Kin- 
sky,  born  Aglae  Auersperg,  once  not  a  little  talked  of  in 
connection  with  the  Crown  Prince  Rudolf  —  use  the  famil- 
iar Du  (thou)  to  her,  there  is  no  free  tone  of  equality  in 
her  friendship. 

Valerie  was  very  simple  in  her  tastes,  with  none  of 
mother's  raffinement.  Although  she  writes  poetry,  she  is 
very  common-sense,  and  indeed  bourgeoise.  When  she 
was  taken  to  Corfu  once  by  mother,  she  said,  as  she 
entered  the  Achilleion,  "  I  hope  that  you  will  not  leave 
this  to  me,  for  I  shouldn't  know  what  to  do  here  with  my 
children ! " 

Her  marriage  took  Valerie  still  farther  away  from  inti- 
macy with  my  mother.  Her  husband,  the  Archduke 
Francis- Salvator  of  Tuscany,  was  also  her  cousin,  though 
only  a  remote  cousin,  both  being  descended  in  the  male  line 
from  the  Emperor  Leopold,  elder  son  of  Francis  I.  The 
common  accusations  of  unfaithfulness  and  hereditary  ill- 
ness cannot  justly  be  made  against  Francis- Salvator.  At 
any  rate,  they  have  a  large  family  of  children,  and  her 
cares  as  a  mother  have  occupied  much  of  the  Archduchess's 
time.     It  is  perfectly  untrue  that  she  is  epileptic. 

Valerie  developed  political  ambitions  early,  and  in  influ- 
ence over  the  Emperor,  her  father,  soon  displaced  both 
mother  and  Gisela.  Later,  before  the  tragedy  of  1914 
took  off  the  Duchess  of  Hohenberg,  the  morganatic  wife  of 
Franz-Ferdinand,  Valerie  was  an  effective  counter-influ- 
ence to  the  Duchess.  Of  the  Duchess  I  shall  have  more  to 
say  in  another  chapter.  Here  I  may  mention  that,  while 
she  and  Valerie  both  displayed  bigotry  in  their  religion, 
Valerie  is  sincerer,  franker,  and  less  political  in  hers.  She 
does  not  use  her  faith  as  a  weapon  in  the  prosecution  of  her 
schemes. 


CONFIDENCES  139 

The  home  of  Francis- Salvator  and  Valerie  is  at  Lich- 
tenegg.  Valerie  inherited  my  mother's  chateau  at  Lainz. 
When  she  stays  in  Vienna  officially,  however,  she  resides  in 
the  Hofburg  or  at  Schonbrunn. 


CHAPTER  XIV 

LUDWIG   OF   BAVAEIA 

On  a  certain  evening  in  the  August  of  this  same  summer 
holiday,  after  one  of  those  interminable  dull  and  rainy 
days  which  are  so  frequent  in  the  Salzkammergut  region 
at  this  time  of  year,  my  mother  decided  to  go  to  bed  earlier 
than  usual.  She  was  still  in  poor  health,  and  felt  the  need 
of  rest.  I  came  and  sat  at  the  foot  of  her  bed.  The  scene 
comes  back  to  me  vividly.  Our  conversation  had  flagged, 
and  for  a  few  minutes  there  was  no  sound  to  be  heard 
in  the  room  except  the  splashing  of  the  rain  in  the  black 
night  outside.  My  eyes  wandered  restlessly,  and  fell  at 
last  upon  the  portrait  of  King  Ludwig  II,  which  mother 
had  always  on  the  table  of  her  bedside,  wherever  she  might 
be. 

My  glance  lingered  upon  the  picture,  and  many  thoughts 
passed  through  my  brain.  I  had  long  known  what  a  deep 
affection  mother  cherished  for  him,  and  had  often  won- 
dered within  myself  what  was  the  reason  for  its  depth. 
But  I  knew  no  details  of  his  story  —  or,  rather,  I  knew 
scarcely  anything  about  him  at  all,  except  that  people 
called  him  mad,  and  that  mother  always  indignantly  denied 
the  truth  of  this;  and  also  that  he  had  a  special  passion 
for  building  palaces,  to  the  ruin  of  himself  and  the  great 
impoverishment  of  his  country,  it  was  said,  though  it  was 
admitted  that  JBavaria  had  since  reaped  great  benefit  from 
these  same  palaces,  which  so  many  visitors  come  especially 
to  see.     As  to  how  he  had  died,  however,  I  had  heard  noth- 

140 


LUDWIG  OF  BAVARIA  141 

ing  beyond  that  it  was  by  drowning.  I  was  very  curious 
about  it,  particularly  since  my  mother  showed  such  pro- 
found respect  for  his  memory,  and,  as  I  have  told,  im- 
pressed upon  me  that  I  should  show  the  same  whenever  I 
might  come  to  Munich. 

As  these  ideas  went  through  my  head  again  now,  I 
broke  out  thoughtlessly,  "  Why  were  you  so  fond  of  Lud- 
wig  of  Bavaria,  mother?  " 

She  started  violently  at  my  words,  and  I  felt  that  I 
should  have  liked  to  bite  off  my  foolish  tongue.  I  seized 
her  hands  eagerly  and  kissed  them,  and  then  attempted  to 
speak  of  something  else.  But  she  recovered  her  self-pos- 
session quickly,  and  in  gentle  tones  told  me  not  to  feel  un- 
happy. My  question  had  indeed  been  unexpected ;  but  she 
would  like  to  talk  to  me  about  him.  She  knew  that  I  must 
feel  bewildered,  and  it  was  time  that  I  should  be  enlight- 
ened a  little. 

Her  voice  was  so  soft  and  low  as  to  be  almost  unearthly. 
There  was  in  it  the  holy  resignation  of  the  martyr.  A 
faint  smile  was  on  her  face,  by  which  she  tried  to  reassure 
me  —  the  smile  of  an  angel.  It  passed  swiftly,  and  I  knew 
instinctively  that  the  veil  was  about  to  be  lifted  this  night 
from  one  of  the  saddest  of  tragedies. 

And  now  she  spoke  slowly  and  thoughtfully,  as  if  she 
were  recalling  incident  by  incident  the  story  of  injustice 
and  cruelty.  Again  I  must  state  that  I  make  no  pretence 
of  quoting  the  exact  words,  though  it  seems  to  me  often 
that  I  hear  them  actually  as  they  came  from  her  lips. 

"  He  was  not  mad,"  she  began.  "  They  might  as  well 
call  Louis  XIV  mad,  or  any  other  man  with  great  ideas. 
The  person  who  was  most  to  blame  in  the  matter  was  Bis- 
marck. But,  of  course,  one  must  not  say  so.  Instead,  it  is 
common  to  throw  the  chief  responsibihty  upon  the  Jesuits 


142        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

—  who,  for  once  in  a  way,  cannot  be  justly  saddled  with  it 
here." 

When  it  was  proposed  to  proclaim  the  King  of  Prussia 
German  Emperor,  she  continued,  Ludwig  opposed  the  idea 
strenuously.  There  was,  indeed,  for  a  moment  a  question 
of  assigning  the  Imperial  office  alternately  to  the  Kings  of 
Prussia  and  of  Bavaria.  But  Ludwig  was  young  and  in- 
experienced, and  at  last  he  was  prevailed  upon  by  his  ad- 
visers, and  particularly  by  his  uncle  Luitpold,  afterwards 
Prince  Regent,  to  yield  to  the  pretensions  of  Prussia.  As 
time  went  by  he  regretted  more  and  more  deeply  his  ac- 
quiescence, and  at  last  was  capable  of  doing  anything  to  re- 
conquer the  rights  which  he  had  abandoned.  By  then  the 
Emperor  William  I  was  very  old  —  nearly  ninety  —  and 
illusions  could  no  longer  be  cherished  as  to  a  long  continu- 
ance of  his  reign.  At  his  death  Prussia  had  good  reason 
to  expect  trouble. 

Bismarck  had  staked  body  and  soul  to  win  the  Imperial 
crown  for  his  own  country,  thereby  himself  becoming  the 
actual  ruler  in  chief  of  the  German  Empire.  He  could 
not  have  endured  to  see  this  power  passing  into  other  hands 
than  his  own,  and  knew  that  Prussia  was  not  yet  strong 
enough  to  keep  it  against  vigorous  opposition.  The  Iron 
Chancellor  realised  that  if  there  was  a  man  capable  of  re- 
sisting him,  it  was  Ludwig  of  Bavaria. 

It  is  generally  asserted  that  Ludwig  was  destitute  of 
will-power.  But  this  is  false.  On  the  contrary,  he  pos- 
sessed perhaps  only  too  much  of  it.  It  is  true,  however, 
that  he  was  not  the  man  to  make  his  way  over  the  corpses  of 
his  enemies,  calculating  and  relentless,  like  another  Bis- 
marck. His  generous  heart  forbade  that  he  should  act 
thus.  It  has  also  been  asserted  that  he  was  of  a  suspicious 
nature.     Alas !  if  only  this  had  been  the  fact,  then  his  foes 


King  Liidwig  II  of  Bavaria 


LUDWIG  OF  BAVARIA  143 

would  not  have  found  it  so  easy  to  triumph  over  him.  But 
he  was  trusting.  Indeed,  he  was  no  ordinary  mortal.  His 
soul  was  as  pure  as  his  body  was  beautiful.  Perhaps  that 
is  why  he  was  not  allowed  to  live  a  long  life. 

Bismarck,  on  the  other  hand,  acted  in  a  mean  and  cow- 
ardly fashion  toward  Ludwig.  He  could  not  challenge  the 
King  to  a  frank  and  open  combat,  with  a  fair  field  and  no 
favour.  He  found  it  simpler  and  more  convenient  to 
weave  round  the  King  base  and  unparalleled  intrigues. 

It  was  not  his  fault  that  more  blood  was  not  shed  than 
was  actually  the  case.  His  prime  agent  was  the  King's 
Chief  Equerry,  Count  Holnstein,  who  acted  as  interme- 
diary between  him  and  Prince  Luitpold.  Holnstein  owed 
everything  in  the  world  to  his  king.  He  elected  to  play 
the  part  of  Brutus.  His  is  the  eternal  infamy  of  hav- 
ing conceived  the  idea  of  declaring  Ludwig  mad,  after 
bribing  for  years  everyone  about  him  who  was  venal,  and 
treasuring  up  every  little  scrap  of  paper,  until  finally 
he  should  be  able  to  bring  together  a  sufficient  mass  of 
evidence,  so-called,  to  prove  his  charge  against  his  mas- 
ter. 

Ludwig  had  many  debts,  said  my  mother.  Anyone  else 
in  his  position  would  have  felt  miserably  ill,  for  what  can 
be  more  humiliating  than  monetary  difficulties?  Ludwig 
had  been  brought  up  under  a  very  bad  system.  Until  the 
time  of  his  eighteenth  birthday  they  never  gave  him  a 
penny  of  pocket-money.  During  the  year  which  preceded 
that  in  which  he  was  unexpectedly  called  to  the  throne,  he 
was  allowed  a  ridiculously  small  allowance  of  a  few  marks 
a  week.  And  then  suddenly  he  came  into  possession  of  su- 
preme power  and  a  considerable  fortune ;  thereby  the  last 
chance  was  taken  from  him  of  ever  understanding  the  value 
of  money.     On  his  accession,  moreover,  not  merely  was 


144        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

his  conduct  approved  by  those  around  him,  but  the  very 
smallest  acts  were  extolled  as  great  deeds. 

No  wonder,  then,  that  he  long  continued  to  believe  that 
his  power  and  wealth  were  illimitable !  Still,  even  if  it  be 
allowed  that  he  did  very  wrong  to  squander  all  his  fortune, 
where  is  the  proof  of  madness?  A  great  part  of  the  world 
would  be  an  asylum  if  everyone  who  spent  his  money  and 
ran  into  debt  were  to  be  treated  as  a  lunatic.  It  is  un- 
necessary to  argue  whether  he  did  any  good  in  his  expendi- 
ture of  money.  What  harm  he  did  he  came  to  recognise 
himself  only  too  well.  An  act  of  abdication  might  have 
been  obtained  from  him,  as  from  his  grandfather  Ludwig 
I.  It  would  only  have  been  necessary  to  appeal  to  his 
feelings  of  honour  and  self-respect  for  him  to  consent  in 
the  end. 

But  proceedings  of  this  kind  would  have  looked  unjust 
in  the  world's  eyes.  The  second  Ludwig's  errors  had  not 
been  gross  enough  to  make  a  forced  abdication  the  only 
remedy.  The  assistance  of  a  loan  might  be  forthcoming 
to  put  everything  right  for  him.  This  was  exactly  what 
his  enemies  feared.  Gradually  all  but  a  few  of  his  at- 
tendants were  corrupted,  and  all  his  ministers  were  in  time 
won  over  to  act  against  his  interests,  so  that  the  offers  of 
help  finally  made  to  him  by  the  Orleans  family  and  the 
Rothschilds  were  intercepted  and  never  reached  him.  It 
is  well  known  that  in  the  last  year  of  his  reign  Ludwig  re- 
fused to  give  audience  to  his  ministers,  conduct  which 
counted  very  much  against  him  in  Bavaria.  But  there  was 
nothing  really  remarkable  about  it.  The  ministers  were 
in  the  conspiracy  and  would  come  to  him,  he  knew,  not 
merely  without  advice,  still  less  to  offer  help,  but  actually 
primed  with  injurious  insinuations. 

And  now  we  come  to  the  fatal  year  1886.     I  wish  I 


LUDWIG  OF  BAVARIA  145 

could  give  the  story,  from  this  point  at  least,  in  my  mother's 
own  words  as  she  told  it  that  night  at  Ischl,  so  vivid  and 
impressive,  so  full  of  emotion,  so  instinct  with  the  tragedy 
of  the  affair.     I  listened  as  if  hypnotised,  and  never  spoke  ■ 
except  to  urge  her  to  go  on. 

The  King  had  not  returned  to  Munich  in  the  spring  of 
this  year,  as  he  usually  did.  He  remained  at  his  castle  of 
Neuschwanstein.  For  more  than  a  month  past  all  sorts 
of  rumours  had  been  flying  about  Bavaria.  In  the  neigh- 
bourhood of  Hohenschwangau  there  stood  the  old  palace 
of  the  Knights  of  the  Swan,  rebuilt  by  Ludwig's  father, 
and  high  above  it  Ludwig's  own  fine  palace  of  Neuschwan- 
stein. The  inhabitants  were  full  of  alarm  and  suspicion 
concerning  a  plot  against  their  king. 

The  general  disquiet  increased  from  day  to  day,  until, 
very  early  on  the  morning  of  June  9th,  it  became  known 
that  during  the  preceding  night  a  string  of  carriages  had 
arrived  at  Hohenschwangau,  from  which  a  party  of  men 
had  alighted  at  the  old  castle.  It  was  a  "  commission  "  of 
ministers  and  doctors,  who  had  come  with  the  intention  of 
forcing  the  King  to  sign  an  act  nominating  Prince  Luit- 
pold  to  be  temporarily  Regent  of  Bavaria  while  his  own  ill- 
health  compelled  him  to  take  a  rest.  As  soon  as  Ludwig 
should  have  signed,  the  command  of  the  Regent  would  have 
gone  forth  that  he  should  be  taken  to  Linderhof,  on  the 
strength  of  a  report  which  the  doctors  had  already  drawn 
up  (without  seeing  him  for  the  purpose) ,  to  the  effect  that 
he  was  insane. 

The  loyalty  of  a  few  faithful  servants  wrecked  this  vile 
plot.  The  King's  own  private  coachman,  Osterholzer,  had 
made  his  escape  from  Hohenschwangau  up  to  Neuschwan- 
stein and  brought  his  master  warning  while  there  was  still 
time  to  provide  against  the  conspirators'  arrival.     When 


146        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

the  commission  —  whose  members  were  the  already  men- 
tioned Count  Holnstein ;  Baron  von  Crailsheim,  Secretary 
of  State  for  Foreign  Affairs ;  Count  Torring,  a  Councillor 
of  State ;  Lieutenant-Colonel  Baron  Washington/  and  the 
two  doctors,  von  Gudden  and  Miiller  —  reached  the  castle 
of  Neuschwanstein,  accompanied  by  four  keepers  for  the 
"  patient,"  they  found  to  their  great  annoyance  the  gates 
in  the  custody  of  the  Royal  Guards,  who  forbade  admission 
to  anyone  whomsoever.  After  long  parleying  the  King 
sent  out  word  that  he  would  see  Count  Holnstein  alone. 
The  arch-traitor  made  but  a  short  stay  in  the  castle.  After 
one  glance  from  Ludwig  at  the  declaration  presented  for 
his  signature,  the  ambassador  was  flung  down  the  stairs. 
Ludwig  had  no  doubt  made  up  his  mind  to  this  drastic  but 
well-deserved  punishment  when  he  granted  the  interview. 
Almost  immediately  afterwards  the  whole  party  was  ar- 
rested on  a  charge  of  high  treason  by  the  old  sheriff  of  the 
district,  Sonntag,^  who  had  arrived  while  they  were  at  the 
gates. 

The  conspirators  seemed  beaten.  But  Ludwig,  over- 
trustful  as  ever,  commanded  that  they  should  be  taken  un- 
der escort  to  3Iunich  and  kept  there,  instead  of  detaining 
them,  as  he  should  have,  at  Neuschwanstein.  At  the  same 
time  he  sent  an  order  to  Baron  Frankenstein  in  Munich  to 
form  a  new  ministry  to  replace  the  existing  one  which  had 
betrayed  him,  and  announced  that  he  intended  to  come  to 
JNIunich  himself  to  appear  personally  to  his  people  of  Ba- 
varia, on  whose  loyalty  he  rehed.     He  could  not  start  at 

1  It  is  worthy  of  note  that  both  Holnstein  and  Washington  (a  descendant 
on  his  mother's  side  of  the  Grand  Dukes  of  Oldenburg)  had  been  plajTnates 
of  the  King  as  a  boy.  When  Ludwig  was  sent  a  captive  to  Berg,  it  was  to 
Washington  that  the  charge  of  the  household  was  given,  though  Dr.  von 
Gudden  was  responsible  for  the  "patient." 

2Sonntag  afterwards  died  of  a  broken  heart  because  he  had  let  his  pris- 
oners go. 


LUDWIG  OF  BAVARIA  147 

once,  however,  as  he  had  but  few  about  him,  and  was  very 
naturally  doubtful  about  the  fidehty  of  some  of  his  serv- 
ants. He  therefore  telegraphed  to  his  aide-de-camp  and 
faithful  friend,  Count  Alfred  von  Diirckheim-Montmartin, 
to  come  to  him  immediately,  and  to  summon  to  Hohen- 
schwangau  without  delay  a  battahon  of  the  11th  regiment 
of  Chasseurs,  then  at  Kempten,  whose  attachment  to  him 
was  known.  The  telegram  to  Diirckheim,  for  safety's 
sake,  was  sent  via  Austria,  whose  frontier  was  only  an 
hour's  distance  from  Hohenschwangau. 

A  second  telegram  was  sent  —  to  my  mother.  She  was 
not  in  Vienna,  nor,  indeed,  in  Austria,  but  had  been  for 
some  weeks  in  Bavaria,  at  Feldafing.  This  was  a  regu- 
lar resort  of  hers.  In  fact,  she  spent  part  of  eighteen  con- 
secutive summers  there,  staying  at  Strauch's  Hotel,  which 
I  mentioned  in  the  last  chapter.  Feldafing  is  only  about 
twenty  minutes'  walk  from  Possenhofen,  where  she  was 
born.  Since  the  breaking  off  of  the  engagement  between 
Ludwig  and  her  sister  Sophie  Charlotte,  mother  had  not 
been  on  the  best  of  terms  with  her  parents,  which  was  the 
reason  why  she  preferred  to  stop  at  a  hotel  rather  than 
at  Possenhofen  itself.  Ludwig  spent  his  summers  at  the 
castle  of  Berg,  on  the  opposite  side  of  the  Lake  of  Stam- 
berg,  and  was  expected  there  this  year  —  though  not  as  he 
actually  came  there,  alas!  a  miserable  prisoner.  The 
rumours  which  were  flying  about  Bavaria  had  found  their 
echo  in  Vienna,  but  it  had  been  impossible  for  mother  to 
get  any  definite  news,  especially  as  Ludwig  in  his  letters 
to  her  always  avoided  all  mention  of  his  personal  troubles. 
In  her  anxiety  she  left  Vienna  for  Feldafing  earlier  than 
usual,  hoping  there  to  hear  something  certain.  Before 
she  left  she  obtained  from  the  Emperor  Francis-Joseph  a 
solemn  promise  that  if  Ludwig  should  be  compelled  to 


148        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

take  flight  from  Bavaria  and  seek  refuge  in  Austrian  ter- 
ritory he  should  be  safe  from  capture. 

For  many  years  Lud wig's  courier,  a  man  named  Zan- 
ders, had  been  the  medium  of  the  correspondence  between 
his  master  and  my  mother.  He  had  succeeded  in  gaining 
the  confidence  of  Count  Holnstein  by  pretending  to  act 
as  a  spy  upon  the  King.  Supposed  by  Ludwig's  other 
enemies  to  be  one  of  themselves,  he  was  thus  able  to  learn 
much  and  reveal  it  all  to  him.  It  was  Zanders  who 
prompted  the  faithful  Osterholzer  on  June  9th  to  hasten 
to  Neuschwanstein  and  give  warning  of  the  commis- 
sioners' arrival  at  Hohenschwangau.  He  was  one  of 
those  entrusted  with  the  task  of  bringing  Ludwig  a  cap- 
tive to  Linderhof  as  soon  as  he  should  have  signed  the 
proclamation.  He  had  managed  to  upset  this  plan  with- 
out betraying  himself,  and  had  reached  Neuschwanstein 
with  the  rest  of  the  party.  With  them  he  had  been  ar- 
rested and  sent  off  on  the  road  to  Munich.  When  they 
arrived  there  all  had  been  set  free.  Zanders  then  received 
orders  from  the  conspirators  to  go  at  once  to  Berg  and 
prepare  the  castle  for  the  King's  arrival.  It  had  now 
been  decided  that  Ludwig  should  be  taken  there  instead  of 
to  Linderhof. 

Zanders  went  to  Berg,  but  took  the  opportunity,  very 
soon  after  his  arrival,  of  hurrying  to  my  mother  at  Felda- 
fing.  He  was  broken  with  emotion  as  he  told  her  what 
had  happened  at  Hohenschwangau  and  of  the  King's  in- 
tention of  going  to  Munich  when  Count  Diirckheim  should 
have  joined  him.  "  They  will  not  allow  him  to  do  any- 
thing," he  almost  wailed.  "  They  will  countermand  all 
his  orders,  will  put  the  Count  in  prison,  and  will  rather  kill 
His  Majesty  than  let  him  speak  to  his  people."  What 
was  to  be  done?    Mother  was  almost  beside  herself  with 


LUDWIG  OF  BAVARIA  149 

despair,  and  unable  to  think  of  a  plan  which  promised  suc- 
cess. It  seemed  too  late  now  to  convey  the  King  from 
Neuschwanstein  to  the  frontier.  Possibly  he  was  already 
on  his  way  to  Munich  and  into  the  hands  of  his  enemies. 

As  mother  and  Zanders  were  in  agitated  consultation, 
her  Groom  of  the  Bedchamber  interrupted  them  to  say 
that  a  special  messenger  was  waiting  to  see  her.  It  was 
Osterholzer.  Ludwig,  fearing  that  his  telegram  might 
not  reach  mother,  had  sent  the  coachman  to  Feldafing  with 
a  letter,  in  which  he  told  her  how  things  stood.  He  said 
that  he  had  sent  a  telegram  to  Bismarck,  hoping  to  gather 
from  his  answer  what  his  real  intentions  were  toward  him ; 
and  another  to  the  German  Emperor,  so  that  he  might  not 
later  be  accused  of  neglecting  to  appeal  to  his  natural  pro- 
tector. 

After  receiving  this  letter,  mother  calculated  that  the 
King  could  not  be  proceeding  to  Munich  that  day,  and 
that  Osterholzer  therefore  would  be  in  time  to  take  him  a 
message  from  her.  She  wrote  to  him  to  let  events  take 
their  course,  to  allow  himself  to  be  made  a  prisoner  and 
sent  to  Berg.  From  Berg  it  would  be  easier  for  her  to 
arrange  his  flight  than  from  Hohenschwangau. 

Osterholzer  dashed  off  on  horseback  with  this  message. 
Meanwhile,  what  Zanders  had  expected  had  come  to  pass. 
Count  Diirckheim,  reaching  Hohenschwangau  about  four 
o'clock  in  the  afternoon,  had  received  telegraphic  orders 
from  the  Minister  of  War  to  return  to  Munich  at  once. 
While  he  hesitated,  a  second  summons  came  to  him,  and 
as  an  officer  in  the  Bavarian  army  he  felt  bound  to  obey, 
however  reluctantly.  On  arrival  at  Munich  he  was  at 
once  arrested  and  sent  to  prison.  As  for  the  battalion  of 
Chasseurs  from  Kempten,  on  its  way  to  Hohenschwan- 
gau it  was  ordered  to  Munich,  and  the  colonel,  thinking 


150        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

that  there  had  been  some  mistake  at  first,  oheyed.  In 
place  of  the  loyal  Chasseurs  a  detachment  of  gendarmes 
was  dispatched  to  Hohenschwangau,  with  orders  to  sur- 
round the  palace  of  Neuschwanstein  and  prevent  the 
King's  escape. 

Osterholzer  succeeded  in  conveying  mother's  message 
to  Ludwig.  Poor  man !  It  was  almost  the  last  service  he 
was  able  to  render  his  master.  But  Ludwig  was  not  con- 
vinced by  what  mother  wrote  to  him.  When  he  saw  the 
gendarmes  in  the  distance  he  took  them  to  be  his  faithful 
troops.  He  was  soon  disillusioned ;  and  then  he  was  com- 
pelled to  recognise  that  the  advice  given  to  him  showed 
the  best  and  indeed  the  only  way  out  of  his  troubles. 
Those  about  him,  not  knowing  all,  could  not  understand 
his  sudden  great  calm.  He  did  not  even  protest  when  Dr. 
von  Gudden  made  his  appearance  a  few  hours  later,  and 
said  to  him,  in  a  very  brusque  and  disrespectful  tone: 
"  In  the  name  of  the  Prince  Regent,  your  Majesty  is 
my  prisoner! " 

At  the  same  moment  the  four  keepers  who  accompanied 
him  made  as  though  to  lay  hands  on  the  King.  But  with 
a  simple  gesture  the  latter  put  them  aside.  "  Not  neces- 
sary," was  all  he  said. 

Ludwig  was  not  even  allowed  to  travel  in  his  own  car- 
riage. A  special  landau  had  been  prepared  for  him,  with 
iron  bars  at  the  windows,  and  straps  on  the  seats  to  fasten 
him  down  by  if  it  should  be  desired.  He  was  scarcely  per- 
mitted to  take  leave  of  his  servants.  When  at  the  last 
moment  he  spoke  to  his  weeping  valets,  Weber  and  Mayer, 
at  the  carriage-door.  Dr.  von  Gudden  addressed  him  as  if 
talking  to  a  criminal  rather  than  a  patient:  "  Be  quick, 
please !     We  have  no  more  time  to  waste !  " 

It  was  now  four  o'clock  in  the  morning,  and  Berg  was 


LUDWIG  OF  BAVARIA  151 

reached  at  noon  on  Saturday,  June  12th.  The  news  of 
Ludwig's  arrival  was  at  once  taken  to  my  mother  at  Fel- 
dafing.  And  now  there  was  very  great  necessity  for 
caution  if  suspicion  was  not  to  fall  upon  Zanders.  It  was 
Osterholzer  who  brought  the  news  from  Berg.  He  re- 
lated that  the  unhappy  King  was  lodged  in  two  rooms 
which  had  hastily  been  fitted  up  like  cells  in  a  lunatic  asy- 
lum. The  windows  had  been  barred,  and  holes  had  been 
made  in  the  doors,  through  which  the  prisoner  could  be 
watched  constantly.  The  dining-room  had  been  con- 
verted into  a  bedroom  for  the  doctor. 

Mother  understood  that  she  must  act  as  quickly  as  pos- 
sible if  the  King  was  to  be  saved  from  utter  despair.  She 
had  on  this  same  day  received  a  communication  from  the 
faithful  Chasseurs  that  they  were  prepared  to  shed  their 
last  drop  of  blood  for  their  King,  and  that  a  detachment 
of  them  was  encamped  at  the  moment  near  Feldafing,  and 
was  ready  to  help  whenever  called  upon.  On  the  follow- 
ing morning,  Whitsunday,  mother  met  Zanders  by  ap- 
pointment in  the  woods  by  the  lake  side.  He  told  her 
that  Dr.  von  Gudden  was  to  go  to  Munich  that  afternoon 
to  make  his  report,  and  would  not  return  until  next  day. 
He  himself  had  won  over  one  of  the  keepers,  promising 
him  the  protection  of  the  Empress  of  Austria  if  the  plot 
should  fail,  though  that  was  very  unlikely. 

The  King  was  in  a  desperate  state  of  mind  already  from 
his  imprisonment.  Zanders  said;  so  that  it  was  decided  by 
mother  to  take  advantage  of  von  Gudden's  absence  and 
bring  about  the  rescue  the  very  same  evening.  A  boat 
was  got  ready  and  hidden  in  the  rushes  off  the  shore  of  the 
park  at  Berg.  Ludwig  was  to  ask  permission  to  take  a 
short  walk  in  the  park  after  sunset.  The  keeper  who  had 
been  won  over  would  accompany  him.     On  reaching  the 


152        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

boat  the  King  would  row  over  to  a  spot  on  the  opposite 
shore  between  Possenhofen  and  Feldafing,  where  a  car- 
riage and  four  would  be  waiting  in  the  cover  of  the  woods. 
Then,  escorted  by  the  Chasseurs,  the  King  would  drive  off 
at  once  into  Austrian  territory.  It  was  to  pass  under 
mother's  windows  at  Feldafing,  so  that  she  would  know 
that  Ludwig  had  been  saved. 

At  this  point  in  her  story,  I  well  remember,  mother 
stopped  in  great  emotion,  with  her  hand  to  her  heart,  and 
when  she  went  on  it  was  in  a  voice  that  was  barely  audible. 
"  I  was  waiting  in  my  bedroom  when  the  clock  in  the 
neighbouring  church-tower  struck  nine.  I  had  retired 
early,  and  my  suite  had  all  left  me  at  my  request.  Ten 
o'clock  struck,  and  still  I  was  waiting.  Nothing  was  to  be 
seen  or  heard,  and  the  suspense  was  almost  driving  me 
mad.  Something  ghostly  seemed  to  fill  the  air.  Was  it 
the  moon,  shining  out  mistily  after  a  day  of  rain,  that 
caused  those  white  shapes  to  glide  over  the  waters  of  the 
lake?  A  deathlike  silence  reigned  everywhere  around  the 
hotel,  and  I  seemed  to  be  the  only  thing  alive.  Sitting  at 
the  open  window  of  my  room,  I  felt  as  cold  as  ice  from 
head  to  foot,  and  shivered  repeatedly.  The  clock  struck 
midnight.  Not  another  sound  still.  What  could  have 
happened?" 

Suddenly  there  came  footsteps  under  the  window. 
Springing  up,  mother  leant  out. 

"  Where  is  the  King?  "  asked  a  low  voice. 

She  understood  that  it  was  one  of  the  keepers  who  was 
standing  there.  She  told  him  to  come  inside,  having  al- 
ready arranged  that  one  of  her  suite  should  open  the  door. 

*'  Where  is  the  King?  "  she  asked  in  her  turn  when  the 
man  had  been  admitted,  and  stood  trembling  before  her. 

"  I  hoped  to  find  him  here,"  he  stammered. 


LUDWIG  OF  [BAVARIA  153 

"  What  has  happened?     Why  has  he  not  come?  " 

The  poar  fellow  looked  at  her  aghast.  At  last  he  man- 
aged to  tell  how  he  had  accompanied  King  Ludwig  to 
within  a  hundred  paces  from  where  the  boat  was  hidden. 
There  he  was  ordered  to  turn  back,  while  the  King  went 
on  alone  to  the  water's  edge.  He  obeyed,  but  made  his 
way  slowly  homewards,  after  turning  his  head.  Suddenly 
he  saw  a  man,  whom  he  recognised  as  Dr.  von  Gudden, 
jump  from  out  of  some  bushes  and  run  towards  the  King. 
The  latter  sprang  into  the  boat,  but,  though  he  had  time 
to  iLinfasten  the  rope  which  secured  it  to  the  shore,  the 
doctor  was  upon  him  at  once.  A  violent  struggle  ensued, 
the  boat  swayed  more  and  more,  and  finally  it  capsized, 
and  threw  them  both  into  the  water.  The  keeper  said  that 
he  thought  that  they  both  succeeded  in  swimming  clear, 
but  that  the  darkness  prevented  him  from  seeing  more. 

"  The  King  is  dead!  "  shrieked  my  mother,  and  fainted 
away. 

Even  as  she  told  me  now,  ten  years  later,  she  broke 
down  completely;  and  pressing  me  convulsively  to  her 
heart,  she  cried:  "  Terrible,  terrible!  In  him  I  lost  more 
than  anyone  can  ever  know  —  and  in  him,  Weiberl,  you 
lost  your  best  friend!  " 

This  account  of  the  facts  connected  with  King  Ludwig's 
death,  which  my  mother  told  me  with  her  own  lips,  differs 
at  almost  every  point  from  the  official  statements  and 
widely  also  from  the  generally  accepted  version  of  the 
story;  if,  indeed,  one  can  speak  of  a  generally  accepted 
version,  when  such  a  variety  of  accounts  is  offered  by  the 
biographers  of  the  King.  But  to  me  my  mother's  story 
is  convincingly  true. 

It  seems  that  the  projected  flight  of  the  King  was  be- 


154        THE  SECRET  OF  A:N^  EMPRESS 

trayed  to  Dr.  von  Gudden  at  the  last  moment,  so  that  he 
had  no  time  to  send  word  to  Munich.  He  did  not  wish, 
on  the  other  hand,  to  reveal  his  knowledge  to  the  other 
guardians  of  the  prisoner  at  Berg  the  existence  of  a  plot 
making  him  uncertain  who  was  on  his  side,  who  on  the 
King's.  Moreover,  there  were  already  disagreements  and 
suspicions  between  the  doctors.  He  therefore  attempted 
to  stop  the  escape  single-handed.  (Whether  he  had 
started  to  go  to  Munich  and  returned,  or  never  set  out  at 
all,  I  do  not  know.)  One  thing  may  be  said  of  him  for 
certain,  that  he  sacrificed  his  life  to  his  duty,  miserable  as 
the  duty  of  the  doctor-gaoler  may  have  been.  It  is  un- 
just to  his  memory  to  accuse  him  —  as  he  has  been  ac- 
cused —  of  wishing  to  murder  the  King.  Had  he  so  de- 
sired, he  could  easily  have  found  some  criminal  instrument 
without  risking  his  own  life. 

After  the  keeper  gained  over  by  Zanders  saw  the  boat 
overturn  he  had  run  down  to  the  shore  and  wandered  ir- 
resolutely along  it  for  a  time.  The  boat  drifted  out  of 
sight,  and  nothing  else  was  in  view.  He  waited  long,  hop- 
ing for  a  sign  of  either  the  King  or  the  doctor.  He  might 
easily  have  gone  for  another  boat  near  at  hand  and  rowed 
himself  over  to  the  Hotel  Strauch.  But  as  it  was  still 
fairly  early  he  feared  to  be  seen  from  the  castle  of  Berg. 
What  he  did,  therefore,  was  to  wander  along  until  he  came 
to  the  village  of  Starnberg,  at  the  head  of  the  lake.  Here 
he  ventured  to  take  a  boat  and  rowed  over  to  Possenhofen, 
where  he  landed  and  hurried  on  to  the  neighbouring  Felda- 
fing.  He  reached  the  Hotel  Strauch  after  midnight,  and, 
as  has  been  heard,  came  to  my  mother.  Her  protection 
had  been  promised  to  him  by  Zanders ;  and  besides  he  may 
really  have  thought  that  the  King  had  escaped. 

My  mother's  piercing  shriek,  "The  King  is  dead!" 


LUDWIG  OF  BAVARIA  155 

awakened  the  whole  hotel.  Some  explanation  had  to  be 
invented  to  avoid  comment  and  suspicion,  and  accordingly 
the  story  was  given  out,  and  has  been  repeated  ever  since, 
that  on  the  same  night  that  King  Ludwig  lost  his  hfe,  the 
Empress  Elisabeth  had  a  nightmare  vision  of  her  cousin 
dead  by  drowning,  and  woke  out  of  it  with  her  terrible 
cry,  "The  King  is  dead!" 


CHAPTER  XV 

MY  "military  yeae";  and  first  loye 

I  NOW  resume  the  story  of  my  own  life,  interrupted  for  a 
time  to  tell  of  things  more  interesting  and  important. 
Towards  the  end  of  August,  1896,  my  mother  had  to  leave 
Ischl  for  Vienna  to  be  present  at  a  grand  reception  given 
to  the  Tsar  and  Tsarina  of  Russia.  Our  parting  on  this 
occasion  was  harder  than  ever  it  had  been.  She  was  still 
far  from  well,  and  was  unusually  depressed.  I  felt  that 
the  strain  of  separation  was  almost  too  much  for  her 
strength.  Now  she  would  again  have  no  one  to  give  her 
affection  like  me  in  the  long  sleepless  nights  when  she  was 
alone  with  her  grief  and  pain.  It  was  really  remarkable 
how  much  better  she  was  when  she  had  my  company. 
Her  restlessness  diminished,  and  she  was  able  to  sit  or  lie 
still  for  spells  at  least. 

On  the  last  day  of  her  holiday  she  said  to  me:  "  It  is 
only  for  a  short  time,  darling.  We  must  have  patience. 
Our  separations  will  soon  be  over.  As  we  have  endured 
them  so  long,  we  will  not  throw  up  the  game  now !  " 

I  whispered  through  my  tears  that  it  was  only  on  her 
account  that  I  was  grieving.  For  myself,  to  whom  no 
hardships  came,  I  could  bear  it  better.  But  she  herself 
had  told  me  how  terrible  was  the  solitude  in  which  she 
seemed  plunged,  in  spite  of  the  devotion  of  those  about 
her. 

For  a  moment  a  cloud  seemed  to  pass  over  her  pale 
forehead  —  only  for  a  moment,  for  it  quickly  vanished. 

156 


MY  "  MILITARY  YEAR  "  157 

But  she  told  me  I  must  never  make  a  remark  like  that, 
which  might  give  numbers  of  poor  souls  mortification  who 
put  themselves  to  great  trouble  for  her.  In  my  presence, 
she  continued,  she  never  tried  to  hide  her  real  feelings  nor 
to  disguise  her  sadness  when  she  was  sad.  But  what 
might  be  natural  enough  with  me  would  only  humiliate  her 
with  others. 

When  she  spoke  so  gently  and  lovingly  to  me,  I  really 
would  have  liked  to  kneel  before  her.  In  spite  of  all  her 
sufferings,  she  was  still  beautiful  and  youthful-looking, 
especially  when  her  magnificent  hair  was  loose.  As  she 
looked  then,  so  must  the  Madonna  have  seemed  at  the  time 
of  her  Son's  crucifixion.  Certainly  it  would  have  been  a 
truer  pictiu*e  than  those  in  the  churches,  where  the  Virgin 
is  represented  as  young  as  on  the  day  when  the  Redeemer 
was  born. 

White  still  suited  my  mother  wonderfully,  especially 
her  white  dressing-robe.  I  remember  one  morning  beg- 
ging her  to  undo  her  hair  that  I  might  let  it  glide  through 
my  fingers.  This  was  also  a  great  sacrifice  for  her,  but 
with  a  smile  she  granted  my  request. 

On  the  day  of  her  departure  we  remained  for  a  long, 
long  time  together,  I  sitting  at  her  feet  with  my  two  arms 
about  her  waist.  For  the  last  half -hour  neither  of  us  ut- 
tered a  word.  When  we  rose,  the  eyes  of  both  were  filled 
with  tears.  We  looked  at  each  other,  and  our  gaze  said 
more  than  any  words  that  we  could  have  spoken.  We 
were  both  in  unusually  low  spirits.  Was  it  because  the 
clouds  so  soon  to  envelop  us  were  even  now  casting  their 
shadow  over  our  lives  ?    Who  can  say  ? 

As  it  was  many  years  since  she  had  last  made  a  public 
appearance  in  Vienna,  her  visit  at  this  time  aroused  the 
curiosity  and  interest  of  the  people  to  a  remarkable  de- 


158        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

gree.  The  Court,  also,  was  at  least  as  anxious  to  see  her 
as  to  see  the  Tsarina.  Upon  her  return,  she  brought  me 
some  mementoes  of  the  festivities  —  flowers,  sweets,  rib- 
bons, bonbonnieres,  etc. 

She  told  me  her  impression  of  the  Empress  Alexandra. 
"  Poor  young  woman,"  she  said,  "  some  day  perhaps  she 
will  be  even  more  unhappy  than  I  have  ever  been.  There 
is  a  fatal  melancholy  about  her  expression,  which  touched 
me  to  the  depths  of  my  heart.  She,  too,  has  a  mother-in- 
law  who  will  not  make  life  too  easy  for  her  —  another  of 
these  ambitious  creatures ! "  She  also  said  that  the 
Tsarina,  when  she  greeted  her,  cried  with  sheer  nervous- 
ness. 

In  October  I  returned  to  Vienna.  The  coming  edu- 
cational year  was  intended  to  have  an  important  bearing 
on  my  future  and  was  the  strictest  of  all  so  far.  "  This  is 
to  be  your  '  military  year,'  "  said  Frau  von  Friese  to  me. 
*'  Contact  with  young  ladies  such  as  you  met  at  your  board- 
ing-school is  all  very  well  for  the  first  drill,  but  now  you 
must  go  under  a  severer  discipline.  Now  you  must  learn 
to  be  democratic  and  mix  with  the  poor  creatures  who  do 
not  go  to  school  to  amuse  themselves,  but  because  they  will 
one  day  require  to  earn  their  daily  bread." 

She  had  discussed  everything  with  mother.  Her  ob- 
ject was  to  let  me  know  as  early  as  possible  what  went  on 
in  the  great  outside  world  of  those  who  were  not  born  to 
prosperity.  "  To  learn  to  depend  on  oneself  " —  that  was 
her  great  principle. 

This  time,  she  told  me,  I  was  not  to  have  anyone  at  the 
school  to  look  after  me  specially.  I  was  to  see  the  world 
after  the  fashion  of  Peter  the  Great.  My  incognita  must 
be  observed  even  more  strictly  than  before.  I  must 
simply  take  care  of  myself  and  try  to  imagine  as  nearly 


MY  "MILITARY  YEAR"  159 

as  possible  that  I  was  just  as  humble  as  those  with  whom 
I  mixed. 

So  it  came  about  that  every  day  henceforth  I  had  to 
spend  several  hours  in  a  public  sewing-school,  the  Frauen- 
erwerbverein,  amongst  girls  all  of  the  lower,  some  even 
of  the  poorest,  class.  I  must  confess  that  it  was  not  very 
pleasant  to  me;  indeed,  every  day  brought  some  new  tor- 
ture. In  spite  of  the  greatest  self-denial  on  my  part,  it 
was  recognised  from  the  very  first  that  I  was  not  of  the 
same  class  as  the  others,  and  that  I  had  no  real  business 
at  the  school  —  for  whiph  reason  I  had  a  very  hard  time 
with  the  teachers. 

We  were  seventy  girls  in  a  room,  sometimes  even  more. 
The  hours  were  from  eight  to  twelve  in  the  morning  and 
from  two  to  four  in  the  afternoon.  We  were  taught  to 
sew,  cut  out,  and  design  in  a  practical  way.  During  all 
that  time  we  were  not  allowed  to  eat  anything  but  dry 
bread,  in  order  not  to  soil  our  work.  But  Frau  von  Friese 
had  acted  rightly  in  sending  me  there.  I  had  a  sudden 
insight  into  a  corner  of  the  world  into  which  I  had  never 
looked  before.  My  eyes  were  all  at  once  opened  to  the 
depth  of  human  misery.  How  thankful  I  felt  that  this 
so-called  "  military  year  "  was  in  reality  only  a  case  of 
*'  playing  at  soldiers,"  compared  with  the  life  of  the  other 
weary,  hungry-looking  beings,  who  were  but  at  the  begin- 
ning of  their  discipline  of  sorrow.  For  the  first  time  I 
began  to  appreciate  the  luxury  which  surrounded  my  life. 
In  the  evening,  when  I  lay  down  in  my  bed,  I  would  not 
immediately  turn  out  the  light.  With  an  indescribable 
sense  of  comfort  I  looked  round  upon  my  room.  How 
beautiful  it  really  was,  with  its  plants  and  flowers,  its  lace 
curtains  in  the  windows,  its  heavy  Smyrna  rug  on  the 
floor,  and  its  dainty  white  bed  and  soft  white  woollen 


160       THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

covers !  Then  I  would  think  to  myself  how  unjust  all  this 
was.  Here  I  lay,  surrounded  by  all  this  luxury,  without 
having  done  anything  all  my  life !  I  was  utterly  ashamed 
of  myself. 

I  used  to  recall  fragments  of  the  conversation  of  my 
poor  classmates.  "  My  God,  my  feet  are  frozen,"  one 
would  say.  "  But  I  've  got  to  stick  it  this  month  in  these 
worn-out  old  shoes.  It 's  my  turn  next  month.  Our 
young  Ferdy  wanted  some  so  badly,  he  could  n't  do  with- 
out them  no  longer."  "  What  are  you  grumbling  about?  " 
another  would  retort.  "  Anyhow,  you  've  got  a  warm 
coat.     Mine  has  n't  even  a  lining!  " 

And  I,  for  all  my  "  military  year,"  was  protected 
against  all  kinds  of  weather.  If  it  was  very  bad,  I  drove 
in  my  carriage  to  a  neighbouring  street  —  although  I  must 
add  that  after  I  first  heard  such  a  conversation  as  the 
above  I  absolutely  refused  to  drive  to  school.  Neverthe- 
less, on  my  reaching  home,  the  first  thing  my  maid  did  was 
to  bring  me  a  pair  of  warm  slippers. 

My  ideas  became  very  democratic,  as  those  of  young 
people  just  entering  the  world  of  ideas  usually  are.  I  de- 
sired even  to  reduce  my  household !  I  was  quite  disgusted 
with  the  ceremonious  attitude  of  my  old  butler  when  he 
was  serving  at  table.  Every  silver  dish  offended  my  eye. 
As  much  as  possible,  I  denied  myself  all  luxuries. 

Mother  always  endeavoured  to  be  in  Vienna  on  St. 
Charles's  Day,  so  as  to  spend  it  with  me.  She  arrived  this 
time  at  the  end  of  October,  and  came  to  see  me  on  the  31st. 
Usually  she  brought  me  a  lot  of  presents,  jewelry  and 
trinkets  —  besides  the  six-carat  diamond  which  was  given 
me  on  my  name-day  ^  each  year.     But  this  year,  at  my  own 

1  The  name-day,  that  of  one's  patron  saint,  is  far  more  important  in  Aus- 
tria than  the  birthday.    I  do  not  even  know  the  date  of  my  birthday. 


MY  "  MILITARY  YEAR  "  161 

request,  she  gave  me  very  little,  and  consented  instead  to 
my  carrying  out  an  idea  of  helping  my  classmates,  which 
I  had  confided  to  her.  In  fact,  with  her  habitual  charity 
she  improved  on  my  original  idea.  She  told  me  to  find 
out  all  the  poor  girls  who  could  not  afford  to  buy  warm 
clothes,  and  to  get  their  addresses;  then  we  would  send 
them,  anonymously,  everything  they  needed.  This  we 
did,  mother  adding  a  hundred  florins  for  each  girl.  They 
never  discovered  who  the  donor  was.  This  name-day  was 
the  most  joyful  in  my  life,  for  I  was  happy  in  the  thought 
that  so  many  of  my  classmates  were  happy  too.  I  should 
have  been  very  glad  to  bestow  upon  them  all  real  fortunes, 
but  naturally  I  had  to  curb  my  desires. 

On  December  4th  of  this  year  mother  suffered  a  great 
loss  in  the  death  of  the  Mistress  of  her  Household,  Count- 
ess Goess,  perhaps  her  dearest  friend.  I  question  very 
much  if  their  great  intimacy  was  known  even  to  those  in 
close  contact  with  my  mother,  as  otherwise  the  Countess 
would  most  likely  have  been  removed.  Through  the 
hands  of  the  latter,  many  secret  correspondences  and  com- 
missions were  conducted. 

Mother  had  left  Vienna  at  the  end  of  November,  after  a 
stay  of  a  month,  and  it  was  in  Paris  that  the  news  of  her 
friend's  death  reached  her.  A  few  days  afterwards  it 
was  announced  that  the  Empress  of  Austria  was  very  ill 
with  neuralgia,  and  that  physicians  had  been  sent  from 
Vienna  to  Paris  to  attend  her.  During  her  illness  I  suf- 
fered the  most  poignant  anxiety.  Few  people  could  have 
guessed  that  this  sudden  nervous  attack  of  my  mother's 
was  really  the  result  of  shock  at  the  removal  of  her  old 
friend. 

After  she  had  to  some  extent  recovered,  she  went  to 
Biarritz,  where  she  remained  in  the  utmost  seclusion  until 


162        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

the  middle  of  January.  From  Biarritz  she  went  to  Men- 
tone  as  usual.  She  was  accompanied  by  the  Countess 
Szaray,  General  von  Berceviczy,  and  her  new  secretary, 
Merkati. 

This  winter  yet  another  new  world  opened  to  me  of 
which  I  had  no  idea  till  then.  I  fell  in  love  —  rather 
prematurely,  I  fear,  for  I  was  only  a  girl  of  fifteen.  It 
was  a  naive  little  episode,  but  the  ending  was  unfortunate. 

Laura  Kaiser  had  a  few  girl-friends,  for  of  course  she 
had  not  been  kept  in  as  strictly  as  I.  Up  to  this  time, 
after  leaving  Fraulein  von  Gunesch's  school,  I  had  visited 
nobody  except  Elsa  von  Thyr,  with  whom  I  still  remained 
great  friends.  One  of  Laura's  friends,  however,  I  had 
known  slightly  almost  ever  since  I  could  remember.  We 
had  played  together  several  times  as  small  children  in  the 
iVolkgarten.  Her  name  was  Clarisse  Mayer.  Her  par- 
ents were  very  wealthy  and  kept  house  in  great  style. 
Her  mother  was  a  handsome  woman,  very  fashionable 
and  fond  of  society.  Clarisse  herself  had  not  been  a 
pretty  child,  and  for  this  reason  her  mother  treated  her 
rather  badly,  with  the  result  that  she  was  more  than  a  lit- 
tle shy.  I  do  not  believe  that  I  had  ever  exchanged  more 
than  a  dozen  words  with  her  while  we  were  playing  at  ball 
or  bowling  our  hoops  together.  As  Laura  did  not  care 
much  for  her  I  had  few  opportunities  of  seeing  her.  But 
now  that  we  were  nearly  grown  up,  the  season  of  parties 
arrived  for  us,  since  it  is  customary  to  give  these  in  Vien- 
nese high  circles  to  teach  girls  how  to  behave  in  society. 
The  Mayers'  house,  in  spite  of  the  mother  having  no  wish 
to  play  the  chaperone  too  early,  promised,  in  this  respect, 
to  be  one  of  the  most  amusing,  and  this  was  sufficient 
reason  for  Laura  to  cultivate  Clarisse  more  closely  now. 
Of  course  these  people  believed  that  I  was  Laura's  sister. 


MY  "  MILITARY  YEAR  "  163 

I  usually  spent  Sundays  at  the  home  of  my  guardian. 
One  Sunday,  however,  Mrs.  Kaiser  said  to  me,  "  You  are 
invited  to  a  girls'  party  at  Clarisse's  house  this  afternoon." 

As  Frau  von  Friese  was  spending  the  day  with  friends, 
I  could  not  go  to  ask  her  permission. 

"  Do  you  think  that  Frau  von  Friese  will  have  anything 
to  say  against  my  going?  "  I  asked. 

"  Oh,  what  a  fuss  you  always  make ! "  Mrs.  Kaiser  re- 
plied. "  I  have  accepted  for  you  already.  I  would  not 
have  done  so ;  but,  if  you  are  not  too  good  to  mix  with  such 
a  mob  as  you  have  in  your  school  now,  j'^ou  surely  can  go 
to  Clarisse  Mayer's.  Anyhow,  I  will  take  the  responsi- 
bihty  upon  myself." 

I  was  not  altogether  convinced.  In  my  heart  I  felt 
that  there  was  a  great  difference  between  a  school  and  a 
strange  house.  On  the  other  hand,  my  scruples  appeared 
ridiculous;  for  what  danger  could  be  there?  And,  be- 
sides, I  had  been  to  so  few  entertainments  that  I  had  an 
inclination  to  go  on  that  account. 

In  addition  to  Laura  there  were  some  cousins  of 
Clarisse's  and  a  few  other  girls,  all  of  the  same  style  — 
that  is  to  say,  all  very  prim  and  proper  under  the  eye  of 
Clarisse's  governess,  of  course.  We  played  games  until 
tea-time,  and  then  we  all  sat  around  a  big  table  in  the 
dining-room,  where  tea  was  served.  In  the  middle  of 
our  meal  Clarisse's  mother  entered  the  dining-room,  ac- 
companied by  an  exceedingly  good-looking  woman,  and 
behind  them  a  young  man  of  about  twenty-five  years  of 
age.  This  was  the  first  time  in  my  life  that  a  young  man 
had  ever  been  introduced  to  me!  He  was  very  tall  and 
handsome,  but  not  what  is  called  a  beau.  There  was  a 
gaiety  and  brightness  about  him,  especially  in  his  brown 
eyes,  in  which  there  was  always  a  glimpse  of  laughter. 


164        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

His  features  were  regular,  and  his  hair  brown  and  wavy. 
But  the  most  pleasant  thing  about  him  was  that  he  him- 
self was  obviously  quite  indifferent  as  to  what  impression 
he  was  making.  In  short,  he  was  one  of  those  few  peo- 
ple who  win  their  way  at  first  sight  by  the  frankness  and 
simplicity  of  their  demeanour. 

There  were  about  twelve  girls  in  the  room.  He  seemed 
rather  amused  at  being  the  only  man  in  this  society  of 
half -grown  girls.  I  have  never  been  one  of  those  who 
believe  that  a  girl  must  fall  in  love  with  the  first  man  she 
meets ;  and  I  should  not  be  telling  the  truth  if  I  pretended 
that  he  made  any  serious  impression  on  me  that  day. 
After  tea  I  talked  awhile  to  him.  The  girls  played  the 
piano  and  danced,  and  I  had  a  few  turns  with  him.  I 
learnt  that  his  name  was  Ferdinand  Fellner,  and  that  he 
was  the  son  of  a  famous  architect. 

Upon  my  return  home  I  told  Frau  von  Friese  every- 
thing that  had  happened.  She  was  not  very  pleased  at 
my  going  to  the  Mayers'.  But,  being  a  very  tactful 
woman,  she  did  not  outwardly  express  her  disapproval; 
and,  as  I  did  not  say  very  much  about  the  young  man,  she 
did  not  worry. 

A  few  days  after  this  I  went  to  my  guardians',  accom- 
panied by  somebody  —  I  do  not  remember  whom.  I  had 
just  walked  through  the  hall  to  the  staircase,  when  sud- 
denly I  heard  someone  a  few  steps  higher  up  than  myself 
saying:  "  How  do  you  do,  Fraulein?  I  have  taken  the 
liberty  of  calling  on  your  parents.  I  was  very  sorry  not 
to  have  met  you." 

I  can  only  say  that  I  behaved  very  awkwardly.  I  stam- 
mered something  in  my  confusion,  but  it  was  so  unintelli- 
gible that  the  young  man  did  not  know  what  to  answer  and 
merely  bade  me  good-bye. 


MY  "  MILITARY  YEAR  "  165 

Upon  my  return  home  I  spoke  to  Frau  von  Friese  of 
this  incident  also.  I  discussed  it  so  freely  that  she  was 
not  much  impressed ;  or  perhaps  she  acted  upon  the  prin- 
ciple of  not  paying  too  much  attention  to  it  so  as  to  avoid 
arousing  my  interest. 

Several  weeks  after  this  there  was  a  dance  given  by 
Elsa's  mother.  At  first  I  was  refused  permission  to  go. 
I  felt  hurt,  but  did  not  dare  to  complain.  Elsa,  however, 
begged  and  begged,  and  I  joined  her  so  far  as  to  ask  Mrs. 
Kaiser  to  intercede  for  me  with  Frau  von  Friese.  I  had 
been  so  submissive  at  the  sewing-school,  and  had  behaved 
so  irreproachably,  that  Frau  von  Friese  thought  fit  to  re- 
ward me  by  allowing  me  to  go.  Without  my  knowledge 
she  had  already  written  to  my  mother,  asking  her  per- 
mission. Mother  left  the  decision  entirely  to  Frau  von 
Friese.     And  so  I  was  told  that  I  might  go. 

In  the  evening,  when  I  arrived  at  Mrs.  Kaiser's  to  go  on 
with  her  to  the  dance,  she  laughingly  remarked  that  she 
had  had  an  invitation  sent  to  Mr.  Fellner  to  please  me. 
I  turned  pale  and  then  blushed,  but  at  that  time  I  was 
totally  unconscious  that  I  was  in  love. 

This  was  my  first  real  dance,  although  I  had  studied 
dancing  since  I  was  six  and  was  quite  good  at  it.  On  my 
entrance  into  the  ball-room  I  stood  stiffly  in  front  of  the 
row  of  chaperones,  who  all  sat  against  the  wall.  Of 
course,  I  was  dressed  in  white  —  white  silk,  trimmed  with 
white  chiffon.  On  my  shoulder  was  pinned  a  large  pink 
rose.  My  long  fair  hair  was  plaited  and  done  in  a  coronet 
round  my  head,  just  like  mother's.  I  could  not  help  feel- 
ing rather  pleased  with  my  appearance.  The  first  person 
introduced  to  me  was  the  brother  of  one  of  Elsa's  friends. 
He  looked  at  my  programme  and  seemed  surprised  to  find 
it  quite  empty.     He  asked  me  for  the  Polonaise.     Gradu- 


166        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

ally  my  card  filled  up,  but  I  was  unceasingly  watching  the 
entrance  to  the  ballroom.  The  Polonaise  began,  and  my 
partner  came  to  fetch  me.  When  he  again  took  up  my 
programme  to  write  his  name  I  had  only  a  few  dances 
vacant. 

"  The  supper  quadrille  is  no  longer  free,"  I  suddenly 
exclaimed,  in  a  tone  full  of  anguish. 

No  sooner  were  the  words  uttered  than  I  regretted  them, 
and  I  blushed  with  shame.  But  my  daring  was  rewarded 
at  once,  for  immediately  after  I  saw  before  me  two  spark- 
ling brown  eyes  in  a  laughing  face.  Something  seemed 
to  be  choking  me.  Then  I  heard  someone  say:  "  Good 
evening,  Fraulein;  I  am  so  sorry  I  am  late.  Have  you 
reserved  a  dance  for  me?  " 

"  The  supper  quadrille,"  I  replied  precipitately. 

"  But  that  is  really  very  charming  of  you  —  to  show 
such  consideration  for  me!  " 

My  naivete  probably  amused  him  very  much,  but  I  did 
not  notice  it,  poor  little  innocent  that  I  was,  setting  out 
upon  the  sea  of  love  with  all  sails  spread.  I  was  happy, 
gloriously  happy,  as  I  had  never  been  before  in  my  life. 
Does  one  really  know  anything  about  happiness  until  one 
falls  in  love  ? 

I  would  have  preferred  not  to  dance  any  more,  all  the 
others  were  so  tiresome  to  me ;  but  of  course  that  could  not 
be.  To  my  first  partner,  who  had  also  put  himself  down 
for  the  fourth  quadrille,  I  was  very  rude,  for  when  he 
came  to  fetch  me  I  am  sorry  to  say  I  made  a  grimace. 

One  little  incident  which  occurred  this  evening  is  worthy 
of  record.  An  old  general  (whose  name,  unfortunately, 
I  never  knew,  since  at  the  time  I  was  not  sufficiently  in- 
terested to  ask  it)  came  up  to  me  and  said:  "Do  you 
know,  my  dear  young  lady,  I  have  sat  here  for  ever  so 


MY  "  MILITARY  YEAR  "  167 

long  studying  you.  I  really  cannot  overcome  my  amaze- 
ment." 

I  was  so  happy  at  the  moment  that  I  could  have  laughed 
in  the  old  gentleman's  face.  Still  I  asked  him  at  what 
he  was  so  amazed. 

"  Did  no  one  ever  tell  you  that  you  resemble  Her 
Majesty  the  Empress?"  he  replied.  "Such  a  striking 
resemblance! " 

In  spite  of  my  gaiety  I  was  embarrassed,  and  remained 
silent.  He  noticed  my  embarrassment  and  went  on: 
"  Well,  does  not  what  I  say  please  you?  You  know,  she 
has  been  one  of  the  most  famous  beauties.  It  is  not  so 
much  your  features  —  and  you  are  fairer.  But  there  is 
something  about  the  mouth,  the  shape  of  your  head,  your 
forehead.  And  it  is  not  altogether  that,  either.  It  is 
the  poise  of  your  head,  the  back  of  your  neck,  your  move- 
ments, which  remind  me  of  her." 

But  now  I  had  quite  recovered  my  self-possession,  and 
I  asked,  "  Did  you  know  her  well?  " 

"  Oh,  in  earlier  years,  when  the  Empress  was  young, 
I  had  many  opportunities  of  seeing  her.  And  I  had  also 
the  great  honour  of  being  presented  to  her.  You  remind 
me  so  much  of  her  in  her  youth." 

I  did  not  know  how  to  answer  this,  so  I  only  smiled. 
Thereby  I  inadvertently  discovered  the  right  way  to  amaze 
the  old  general  still  more. 

"  Good  heavens!  "  he  exclaimed.  "  The  smile,  too!  I 
think  I  must  be  going  mad."  And  without  waiting  to 
say  anything  more,  he  went  away,  shaking  his  head  like 
one  who  has  seen  some  marvellous  apparition. 


CHAPTER  XVI 

PLANS   FOR   MY   FUTURE 

"Now  followed  days  of  great  happiness  for  me.  I  thought 
of  nothing  any  more  except  Ferdinand  Fellner.  At 
school,  during  my  lessons  at  home,  on  my  walks,  in  fact 
every  hour  of  the  day,  he  was  in  my  thoughts.  I  would 
have  liked  to  have  told  everybody  —  and  yet  not  for  the 
world  would  I  have  mentioned  it  to  anyone !  I  was  rather 
ashamed  of  my  love.  Much  as  I  thought  of  him,  however, 
I  saw  him  very  little.  There  was  nowhere  that  I  could 
go  to  see  him.  I  did  not  visit  anywhere.  Once  or  twice 
I  met  him  on  Mrs.  Kaiser's  reception-days,  just  enough 
to  keep  the  passion  smouldering.  But  really  I  did  not 
confess  all  this  to  myself  at  the  time,  especially  as  he  did 
not  seem  to  pay  any  more  attention  to  me  than  to  any  other 
of  the  girls.  I  was  too  proud  to  admit  the  truth.  As  the 
weeks  passed  by  I  thought  myself  cured,  and  told  myself 
that  it  had  all  been  imagination,  that  this  was  not  a  case 
of  real  love. 

All  this  time,  mother  was  on  the  Riviera,  so  I  had  no 
opportunity  to  speak  to  her  about  it.  Almost  at  the  end 
of  March  I  went  with  Frau  von  Friese  to  Territet,  in 
Switzerland.  Mother  had  written  to  Frau  von  Friese 
the  following  letter:  — 

"  I  simply  cannot  endure  it  any  longer.  It  will  soon 
be  four  months  since  I  last  saw  her.  It  is  more  than  I 
can  bear.     I  cannot  spend  this  spring  in  Vienna,  as  my 

168 


PLANS  FOR  MY  FUTURE  169 

health  makes  it  necessary  for  me  to  go  to  some  watering- 
place.  So  I  should  have  to  wait  an  eternity  to  see  her. 
But,  since  she  is  now  such  a  big  girl,  the  interruption  in 
her  studies  will  not  harm  her  a  great  deal.  To  get  away 
from  that  dreadful  school  for  a  while  will  be  a  grea^  relief 
to  her." 

So  once  again  I  passed  a  whole  month  with  mother. 
We  lived  in  the  same  hotel,  and  every  morning  from  seven 
to  half-past  eight  we  walked  out  together.  The  first 
thing  she  did,  of  course,  was  to  put  me  in  the  confessional. 
For  my  part,  I  told  her  at  once  all  my  experiences,  but 
so  as  not  to  alarm  her  I  added  that  my  whole  love-story 
had  only  been  an  affair  of  the  imagination;  because,  had 
it  been  a  case  of  true  love,  I  should  not  have  recovered 
from  it  so  quickly. 

"  Weiberl,"  said  my  mother,  "  I  trust  that  you  are  too 
reasonable  to  deceive  yourself  as  well  as  me,  and  that  it 
was  really  only  a  passing  fancy." 

Her  words  were  accompanied  by  an  anxious,  sorrowful 
look.  It  was  far  from  my  desire,  however,  to  give  a 
serious  turn  to  this  affair,  and  so  I  merely  laughed  to  put 
her  at  her  ease. 

Mother's  illness  now  seemed  to  weary  her  more  than 
ever.  She  was  tortured  with  sciatica.  For  hours  and 
hours  she  would  lie  awake  at  night.  But  she  was  always 
patient  as  an  angel  and  never  complained.  That  silently 
borne  pain  made  such  an  impression  upon  me  that  I  can 
never  forget  it,  and  even  to  this  day  I  seem  able  to  bear 
any  pain  myself  by  remembering  what  my  mother  had  to 
undergo  and  her  quiet  fortitude  through  it  all. 

My  many  diversions  drove  my  love-affair  into  the  back- 
ground for  the  time  being.     We  made  constant  excur- 


170        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

sions  into  that  beautiful  country,  and  the  scenery  alone 
was  enough  to  make  one  happy.  And  mother  was  still 
really  the  only  person  for  whom  I  lived.  When  I  examine 
my  feelings  to-day,  I  can  truthfully  assert  that  in  the 
affair  with  Ferdinand  Fellner  I  did  not  deceive  her  or 
myself.  To  be  all  alone  with  her,  day  after  day,  made 
me  happy  beyond  a  wish.  At  that  time  I  would  have 
given  him  up  without  even  a  sigh,  my  only  idea  day  and 
night  being  mother.  She,  on  her  side,  spoiled  me  now  as 
never  before.  Upon  every  possible  occasion  she  showered 
presents  on  me  in  a  way  which  she  had  not  hitherto.  Up 
to  this  time  I  had  not  been  very  much  spoilt  in  this  respect. 
Mother  did  not  want  to  make  me  too  vain.  I  always  re- 
ceived beautiful  Christmas  and  name-day  presents;  but 
until  this  year,  1897,  she  never  had  given  me  anything  on 
other  occasions.  Now  she  bought  me  all  sorts  of  beautiful 
things,  by  which  she  thought  to  give  me  special  pleasure. 

Nor  had  I  ever  yet  had  any  money  of  my  own,  even 
though  sometimes,  as  mother  held  in  her  hand  her  purse  — 
that  oblong  leather  purse  that  she  always  carried  —  I 
might  look  longingly  at  it.  On  such  occasions,  when  my 
desire  became  too  evident  she  would  say  to  me:  "  What 
are  you  looking  so  intently  at  my  purse  for,  you  greedy 
little  girl?  You  should  be  quite  happy  that  you  have 
nothing  to  do  with  money." 

To  which  I  might  perhaps  reply :  "  Oh,  mamma,  it 
must  be  lovely  to  buy  something  by  your  own  self!  " 

Once,  when  my  longing  for  a  purse  of  my  own  was  more 
than  usually  keen,  she  asked  me,  I  remember:  "What 
do  you  want  to  buy?  If  you  wish  for  anything  you  have 
only  to  speak  to  Frau  von  Friese,  and  if  it  is  anything 
reasonable  you  will  get  it." 

I  was  not  able  to  buy  even  a  bunch  of  violets,  I  com- 


PLANS  FOR  MY  FUTURE  171 

plained,  if  I  should  fancy  it.  By  speaking  of  flowers,  I 
suppose,  I  thought  I  should  soften  her. 

"  Babe,  don't  be  childish,"  she  answered.  "  You  have 
plenty  of  flowers.  If  you  want  more,  you  have  only  to 
speak  to  Frau  von  Friese,  and  the  florist  will  send  you  all 
that  your  heart  can  desire." 

Yes,  but  sometimes  in  the  street,  I  said,  there  might  be 
a  flower-girl,  or  some  poor  boy  selling  spring  flowers, 
and  I  was  unable  even  to  buy  a  bunch  from  them. 

Was  I  not  always  with  someone  who  had  money,  some- 
one who  might  give  me  enough  credit  to  lend  me  a  small 
sum  of  money?  "  However,"  she  continued,  "  if  your 
heart  is  really  set  upon  this,  I  will  give  you  so  much." 
With  these  words  she  opened  her  purse,  and  carefully, 
with  two  fingers,  fished  out  a  ten-kreuzer  piece  (about 
twopence-halfpenny,  or  five  cents),  which  she  handed  to 
me  with  an  amused  smile. 

I  do  not  think  she  was  ever  so  liberal  to  anyone  else !  I 
have  mentioned  already  this  strange  little  trait  in  her 
character,  that  with  all  her  generosity  of  heart  and  charity 
she  hated  to  part  with  small  sums.  This  time  at  Territet 
was  the  first  occasion  on  which  she  ever  gave  me  a  con- 
siderable sum.  She  had  promised  to  go  with  me  on  April 
10th  to  a  little  farm,  famous  for  its  beautiful  hand-made 
embroidery,  the  work  of  the  peasant-women.  At  the  last 
moment  she  was  prevented,  by  the  unexpected  arrival  of 
Archduke  Franz-Ferdinand,  who,  on  his  way  to  Montreux, 
wished  to  pay  her  a  call.  She  came  early  to  tell  me  that 
she  could  not  go  to  the  farm.  I  was  both  disappointed 
and  angry  at  the  change  in  our  plans,  and  was  at  no  pains 
to  conceal  my  feelings.  I  do  not  think  that  mother  was 
much  better  pleased. 

I  should  go  with  her  there  another  time,  she  promised; 


172        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

but  to  make  up  for  the  disappointment  now  I  might,  if  I 
wished,  go  and  spend  the  day  with  Frau  von  Friese  at 
Lausanne.  And  for  once  in  my  life,  I  might  buy  some- 
thing that  I  liked,  and  pay  for  it  myself.  As  she  spoke, 
she  produced  her  familiar  oblong  purse,  and  took  there- 
from —  to  my  surprise  and  delight  —  a  twenty-franc  gold 
piece!  With  this,  the  first  money  I  ever  spent  on  my- 
self in  my  life,  I  bought  a  manicure-set. 

Every  day  of  this  visit  to  Territet  we  were  together  at 
least  in  the  mornings,  when  our  walks  were  directed  prin- 
cipally through  the  sombre  stretches  of  gigantic  oaks 
which  surround  the  place.  In  the  early  morning  the 
forest  exhaled  a  delightful  fragrance,  and  the  stillness  and 
quiet  of  the  glades  seemed  the  natural  consequence  of  the 
fairy  revels  which  must  have  been  held  in  them  the  night 
before. 

"How  beautiful  is  this  forest!  "  exclaimed  mother  one 
morning.  "  These  giant  trees,  which  may  have  stood  here 
for  centuries,  are  a  connecting  link  between  the  present 
and  the  past.  If  they  could  talk,  what  strange  stories 
they  might  tell  us  of  the  Valkyries,  and  the  warriors  and 
heroes  of  bygone  days,  who  may  have  trod  where  we  are 
now  treading." 

The  remark  seemed  not  so  much  addressed  to  me  as 
the  unconscious  utterance  of  her  private  thoughts.  Or 
was  she  talking  with  her  dead  friend,  the  only  real  friend 
she  ever  had,  the  only  one  to  whom  she  would  lay  bare  her 
soul  without  any  reserve? 

I  had  begun  to  realise  what  Ludwig  of  Bavaria  had 
meant  to  her.  And  I  understood  better  still  when  she 
began  talking  to  me  about  him  again  on  one  of  these 
mornings  at  Territet. 

"  Weiberl,"   she  said,   "  you   cannot   imagine  what   a 


PLANS  rOK  MY  FUTURE  173 

noble  being  he  was  —  far  too  noble  for  this  world.  He 
understood  how  to  enjoy  life  as  few  people  do.  He 
revelled  in  it  with  the  prodigality  of  a  genius." 

I  asked  her  if  it  was  true,  as  people  sometimes  said, 
that  he  had  helped  Richard  Wagner  in  his  operas. 

No,  never,  she  answered.  Besides,  Wagner  had  written 
most  of  his  works  before  Ludwig  came  to  his  assistance. 
But  still,  perhaps,  without  him  Wagner  the  musician 
might  never  have  become  Wagner  the  great.  Not  only 
was  the  merit  of  discovering  Wagner's  greatness  Lud- 
wig's,  but  Wagner  himself  admitted  that  near  the  King 
he  became  a  different  person.  Far  more  important  than 
the  mere  material  aid  given  to  him  were  the  spiritual  in- 
spirations which  Ludwig  brought  to  him  through  his  own 
noble  individuality,  and  the  atmosphere  with  which  he  sur- 
rounded him.  The  sublime  masterpieces  of  Wagner  were 
all  his  own;  but,  if  his  music  helped  to  rouse  Ludwig's 
poetical  nature,  Ludwig  in  his  turn  could  accompany 
Wagner  to  wonderful  regions  whither  others  could  not 
follow  him.  He  admired  him  intensely,  and  it  is  this 
admiration  which  genius  requires  to  make  it  expand. 
Ludwig  arranged  splendid  feasts  for  him,  with  the  sole 
intention  of  giving  inspiration  to  his  muse.  And  he  was 
the  most  charming  host  imaginable  —  when  he  loved  his 
guests. 

"  Mother  dear,"  I  asked,  "  were  you  often  his  guest?  " 

Of  course,  particularly  when  she  was  at  Feldafing,  she 
rephed.  During  the  last  years  of  his  life,  when  he  was 
so  overburdened  with  debts,  he  used  to  shut  himself  up  to 
avoid  his  ministers,  who  harassed  him  terribly.  But  she 
and  he  always  continued  firm  friends,  and  it  made  her 
very  happy  that  at  the  moment  she  came  near  him  he 
seemed  to  forget  all  his  troubles.     Their  little  luncheon- 


174        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

parties,  tete  a  tete,  would  always  remain  among  the  pleas- 
antest  memories  of  her  life.  They  generally  took  place 
on  Rose  Island  in  the  middle  of  the  Lake  of  Starnberg. 
Every  dish  and  every  flower  on  the  table  were  of  his  selec- 
tion. Nothing  was  too  good  for  those  for  whom  he  cared. 
He  would  have  given  his  life  for  them.  How  cruel  it  was 
that  he  should  have  to  die ! 

"  He  at  least  suffers  no  more,"  she  concluded,  "  but  we 
two  remain  ...  to  mourn  for  him." 

Many  a  time  on  our  walks,  after  having  spoken  of  him, 
she  would  repeat,  "  He  is  no  longer  with  us  .  .  .  but  we 
must  mourn  for  him." 

We  left  Territet  on  April  27th  for  Geneva;  or,  rather, 
mother  left  on  that  day,  and  I  followed  her  on  the  28th, 
as  she  had  arranged  to  spend  a  day  at  the  chateau  of 
Pregny,  a  few  miles  from  Geneva.  The  Baroness 
Adolphe  Rothschild  had  given  her  an  invitation  to  come 
over  to  Pregny  and  see  her  hot-houses,  which  she  now  took 
the  opportunity  of  doing. 

On  the  night  of  the  28th  we  stayed  together  at  the  Hotel 
Beaurivage,  Geneva.  Here,  as  usual,  I  crept  from  my 
bedroom  to  hers  to  spend  the  evening  with  her.  But  she 
was  so  restless  and  nervous  that  it  ended  in  my  remaining 
with  her  all  night,  and  sleeping  with  her  in  her  bed.  It 
was  on  this  night  that  she  first  spoke  to  me  of  the  measures 
which  she  had  taken  to  provide  for  my  future. 

"  Thank  God !  "  she  exclaimed,  in  accents  of  great  weari- 
ness, "  these  continual  separations  are  soon  coming  to  an 
end.  I  am  beginning  to  grow  quite  impatient,  and  I  long 
for  the  day  when  I  can  have  you  openly  at  my  side." 

My  only  answer  was  a  sigh,  and,  seeing  how  sad  I 
looked,  she  went  on  to  assure  me  that  there  was  not  very 


PLANS  FOR  MY  FUTURE  175 

long  to  wait  now  —  only  through  the  next  winter.  In  the 
meantime  we  must  both  of  us  be  reasonable.  My  educa- 
tion must  receive  the  finishing  touches,  to  fit  me  to  resist 
the  temptations  which  awaited  me.  I  had  no  idea  yet  of 
the  extent  of  the  intrigues  of  Court  Hfe.  I  must  acquire 
more  self-control  and  stabiHty  to  live  among  these  people 
without  falling  a  victim  to  their  snares.  Vienna  was  the 
most  difficult  of  all  Courts.  Men  valued  their  friends  only 
for  the  profit  to  be  derived  from  them,  and  sacrificed  them 
without  a  scruple  when  it  seemed  advantageous  to  their 
own  interests.  It  was  a  great  mistake  to  suppose  that 
there  were  fewer  crimes  committed  at  Court  nowadays  than 
in  former  times.  The  only  difference  was  that  to-day  the 
methods  employed  were  more  complicated,  but  none  the 
less  scandalous  for  that.  In  the  face  of  all  this  she  trem- 
bled for  me.  She  wanted  to  protect  me.  But  she  never 
had  any  talent  for  intrigues.  She  was  powerless  even  to 
meet  those  directed  against  herself.  She  had  always  been 
too  confiding,  and  it  was  still  impossible  for  her  to  believe 
anyone  capable  of  treachery  without  indisputable  proof. 
That  was  the  real  reason  for  her  reserve  towards  everyone. 
She  had  always  to  be  on  her  guard  against  falling  into  a 
trap.  Happily  they  bothered  little  about  her  in  their  in- 
trigues now.  She  was  no  longer  interesting  enough !  But 
she  suffered  sufficiently  in  hearing  how  they  sold  and  be- 
trayed others. 

*'  How  happy  I  shall  be,"  I  exclaimed,  "  when  at  last 
I  can  be  always  at  your  side." 

"  Don't  you  think  I  also  shall  be  glad,  Weiberl?  "  she 
answered.  *'  I  shall  find  more  rest  then,  and  shall  be  better 
able  to  remain  in  one  place.  We  will  pass  our  winters  in 
Corfu  together.  I  love  Corfu,  though  it  always  makes  me 
melancholy.     It  is  too  vast  and  magnificent  for  me.    But 


176        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

with  you  there  it  will  be  quite  different.  How  unspeak- 
ably happy  I  should  be  with  you  there !  And  how  you  will 
love  the  spring,  when  everything  there  is  in  flower!  " 

Then  she  gave  a  great  sigh  and  fell  suddenly  into  melan- 
choly again. 

"  Dearest,  dearest  mother,"  I  hastily  asked,  "  are  you 
not  feeling  well?  " 

*'  Perfectly  well,  Weiberl,"  was  her  reply,  "  only  these 
things  seem  to  me  such  castles  in  the  air.  I  cannot  think 
that  such  happiness  is  for  me.  I  cannot  think  that  such 
a  thing  as  peace  still  awaits  me  on  this  planet.  So  many 
years  life  has  been  a  burden  to  me  that  now,  when  it  has 
regained  its  value,  I  cannot  believe  that  all  will  come 
right." 

I  was  trembling  all  over,  and  vainly  striving  to  hide  my 
anguish.  I  understood  only  too  well  what  she  meant  but 
avoided  saying;  she  feared  that,  at  the  moment  when  Hfe 
again  meant  something  for  her,  death  the  inexorable  would 
carry  her  away.  She  looked  pityingly  on  my  distress,  and 
said:  — 

"  Weiberl,  don't  be  alarmed;  I  was  foolish  to  speak  like 
that,  but  the  thought  that  something  like  that  might  hap- 
pen has  weighed  upon  my  heart  for  a  long  time  past.  Do 
not  allow  my  foolish  fancies  to  worry  you.  After  all, 
everything  has  been  foreseen  and  provided  for.  In  case 
of  my  sudden  death  before  I  am  able  to  take  you  out  of 
your  retirement,  I  have  all  the  documents  at  Lainz,  ex- 
plaining everything  concerning  you.  Amongst  these 
papers  are  directions  written  by  my  own  hand  concerning 
your  future.  These  also  state  openly  why  I  did  not  wish 
to  rear  you  in  the  poisonous  atmosphere  of  the  Court  — 
you,  my  last-born  child!" 


PLANS  FOR  MY  FUTURE  177 

At  these  words  I  burst  into  tears,  and  hid  my  sobbing 
face  on  her  breast. 

"  Weiberl,  be  reasonable,"  she  said.  "  Why  do  you 
cry?  I  am  not  dead  yet,  dear.  But  is  it  not  wiser  to  take 
precautions? " 

She  ceased,  and  a  deadly  quiet  seemed  to  pervade  the 
room,  which  oppressed  me  by  its  silence.  Her  words 
sounded  like  a  farewell.  And  so,  in  a  measure,  they  were ; 
for  sixteen  months  later  in  this  same  hotel,  probably  in  this 
very  same  bed,  she  passed  away  for  ever. 


CHAPTER  XVII 

THE   COURSE   OF  LOVE 

On  the  day  following  that  of  the  melancholy  conversation 
which  I  have  just  reported  I  left  for  Vienna.  My  mother 
accompanied  me  to  the  railway  station,  but  returned  pur- 
posely (for  these  precautions  were  still  necessary)  to  spend 
the  day  in  an  excursion  with  the  Countess  Senyey.  Then 
she  came  on  to  Vienna  by  special  train  at  an  early  hour 
in  the  morning. 

She  only  remained  in  Vienna  on  this  occasion  for  ten 
days,  during  which  period  I  saw  much  less  of  her  than 
usual.  My  sister  Gisela  had  come  over  on  a  visit  from 
Munich,  and  mother's  health  was  very  poor.  Her  doctor, 
indeed,  advised  that,  instead  of  passing  the  spring  as  she 
regularly  did  at  Lainz,  she  should  go  to  Kissingen  for  a 
cure. 

Short  as  was  her  stay  in  Vienna,  during  it  she  received 
a  very  severe  shock.  My  youngest  aunt,  Sophie- Char- 
lotte, Duchess  of  Alen^on,  was  burnt  to  death  in  the  ter- 
rible fire  of  the  Bazar  de  la  Charite  in  the  Rue  Jean 
Gougeon,  Paris.  On  May  5th  mother  came  to  me  in  the 
morning  to  say  that  she  had  had  very  bad  news,  a  telegram 
announcing  that  Aunt  Sophie  was  missing  after  the  fire, 
and  that  it  was  feared  she  had  perished. 

Of  the  girls  in  the  Bavarian  ducal  family  Sophie  had 
naturally  been  the  pet.  My  mother's  junior  by  ten  years, 
she  was  still  a  small  child  at  the  time  of  the  Imperial  wed- 
ding, and  mother  continued  always  to  look  upon  her  as  a 

178 


THE  COURSE  OF  LOVE  179 

child  —  as  elder  sisters  will.  A  certain  estrangement  had 
been  produced  between  them,  I  have  already  said,  by  the 
rupture  of  Aunt  Sophie's  engagement  in  1867.  Various 
legends  are  current  about  this  rather  strange  affair. 
When  it  was  announced  at  the  beginning  of  the  year  that 
King  Ludwig  was  engaged  to  his  young  cousin,  the  Ba- 
varians as  a  people  were  well  pleased.  But  at  Court 
the  case  was  different.  There  was  a  great  deal  of  jealousy 
and  intriguing  against  the  Duke's  daughter,  especially  on 
the  part  of  some  of  the  King's  immediate  relatives.  When 
the  postponement  of  the  wedding  —  which  was  only  a 
diplomatic  way  of  stating  that  it  was  not  to  come  off  at  all 
—  was  announced  in  September,  the  coimtry  was  upset, 
while  the  Court  rejoiced. 

Aunt  Sophie  had  not  done  anything  very  awful  to  pro- 
voke the  King  to  break  off  the  engagement.  She  was, 
however,  rather  too  lighthearted  and  irresponsible  for  the 
idealistic  Ludwig.  He  interpreted  her  little  mistakes  as 
evidence  of  a  grave  lack  of  tact,  if  nothing  worse.  And 
the  intriguers,  of  course,  did  their  utmost  to  poison  his 
mind  against  her.  He  made  no  excuse  to  the  Duke  for 
rejecting  his  daughter,  and  communicated  his  decision 
very  abruptly,  simply  stating  that  he  would  now  never 
marry.  The  Duke  Maximilian  was  terribly  offended. 
He  was  a  very  ambitious  man  with  regard  to  his  daughters' 
marriages,  taking  their  happiness,  apparently,  very  little 
into  account.  My  aunt  Marie- Sophie,  Queen  of  Naples, 
never  even  saw  her  husband  before  her  union  with  him, 
and  was  married  by  proxy  at  the  age  of  fifteen  —  to  be 
sadly  disillusioned  when  she  reached  Naples,  and  found 
what  manner  of  man  was  King  Francis.  The  Duchess 
Ludovica  was  still  more  ambitious  about  her  daughters 
than  the  Duke.     The  whole  family  was  very  much  upset 


180        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

at  Sophie-Charlotte's  misfortune,  and  very  angry  with 
King  Ludwig.  But  my  mother's  affection  for  Ludwig 
was  unaltered,  and  this  was  the  cause  of  coldness  between 
her  and  the  rest  of  the  family,  especially  Aunt  Sophie  her- 
self. Yet  she  continued  to  feel  towards  her  a  semi-ma- 
ternal love,  and  her  death  aroused  very  painful  associa- 
tions. 

The  effect  of  the  new  shock  was  serious  to  mother's 
health,  although  it  is  most  cruel  to  pretend,  as  some  do, 
that  at  this  time  she  was  in  the  least  degree  out  of  her 
mind.  The  truth  is  merely  that  she  was  overwhelmed  with 
grief,  and  could  think  of  nothing  else.  She  was  so  utterly 
miserable  and  restless  that  she  simply  fled  to  Kissingen, 
where  she  hoped  to  find  a  little  peace. 

Now  Frau  von  Friese,  too,  had  been  ailing  all  the 
winter ;  and  although  she  also  was  one  of  those  rare  persons 
who  never  complain,  I  knew  that  she  was  not  as  usual. 
Mother,  who  could  so  well  read  the  people  for  whom  she 
cared,  had  several  times  during  our  stay  in  Territet  re- 
marked how  ill  Frau  von  Friese  looked.  Again  and  again 
she  pressed  her  to  declare  the  nature  of  her  illness,  only  to 
be  met  by  the  assertion  that  it  was  nothing  serious.  My 
governess  grew  more  miserable  daily,  but  after  our  return 
from  Territet,  seeing  what  trouble  mother  had  of  her  own, 
she  continued  to  conceal  her  condition  from  her  as  before. 
She  also  concealed  it  from  me  for  fear  I  should  tell  my 
mother.  Soon  after  mother  had  left  Vienna,  however, 
she  suddenly  broke  down  from  the  strain  she  had  under- 
gone. To  me  this  was  perfectly  unexpected;  and  even 
now  I  had  to  guess  at  the  state  of  affairs,  for  all  details 
were  kept  secret  from  me.  I  was  told  merely  that  Frau 
von  Friese  was  ill,  not  how  serious  her  illness  was.     She 


THE  COURSE  OF  LOVE  181 

still  went  about  every  day,  for  lying  down  seemed  to  make 
her  worse ;  so  that  I  was  buoyed  up  with  a  false  hope  about 
her.  My  despair  can  be  imagined,  therefore,  when  one 
morning,  about  a  week  after  mother's  departure,  she  said 
to  me:  "  My  dear,  I  am  going  home  to  Denmark;  I  hope 
it  will  do  me  good." 

I  threw  myself  on  my  knees  beside  the  couch  where  she 
sat,  and  clasped  my  arms  around  her  neck,  crj^ing,  "  Frau 
von  Friese,  Frau  von  Friese,  you  are  more  ill  than  you  care 
to  let  me  know."  And  I  began  to  sob.  I  implored  her 
to  tell  me  the  worst.  I  would  tell  mother.  But  no,  I  said 
again,  I  would  not,  for  her  sake;  she  had  already  all  the 
grief  she  could  bear.  Only  let  me  know  what  was  the 
matter. 

In  spite  of  her  pain,  Frau  von  Friese  could  not  forbear 
a  smile  at  my  nervous  anxiety.  *'  Darling,  don't  take  it 
so  tragically,"  she  said.  "  I  hope  to  be  much  better  after 
my  trip  home.  Promise  me  to  be  reasonable."  She  had 
intended,  she  continued,  to  speak  to  my  mother  before  she 
went  away.  However,  when  she  saw  how  trying  the  last 
few  weeks  had  been  for  her,  she  decided  not  to  do  so,  but 
to  arrange  everything  herself.  She  would  not  be  away 
longer  than  a  month.  For  this  short  time  I  would  be 
under  the  care  of  Mrs.  Kaiser.  She  had  written  the  pre- 
vious day  to  my  mother,  telling  her  not  to  be  alarmed  and 
asking  her  permission  to  take  a  short  holiday.  She  had 
begged  forgiveness  for  not  having  informed  her  of  her 
condition  before,  since  she  had  only  concealed  her  illness  to 
avoid  giving  her  any  fresh  trouble.  She  knew  mother 
would  have  worried  about  finding  a  suitable  place  for  me 
while  she  was  away,  only  to  come  in  the  end  to  the  same 
decision  as  herself  —  that  is,  to  leave  me  in  the  care  of  the 


182        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

Kaisers.  Even  if  Mrs.  Kaiser  was  not  very  reliable,  there 
was  no  one  to  whose  care  she  would  more  wilHngly  entrust 
me  than  Mr.  Kaiser. 

Mother  sent  her  answer  by  return  of  post.  What  could 
she  do  but  agree  ?  It  was  certainly  very  hard  for  her.  In 
her  kindness  of  heart  always  unwilling  to  hurt  anyone,  she 
did  not  complain ;  but  in  the  few  lines  enclosed  for  me,  in 
her  letter  to  Frau  von  Friese,  I  could  detect  how  miserably 
unhappy  she  was.     She  wrote:  — 

My  only  Daeling, 

Frau  von  Friese  must  leave  you  for  a  short  time. 
There  is  nothing  to  be  done  but  to  leave  you  at  the 
Kaisers'.  Dearest,  be  careful  of  yourself,  and  beware  of 
all  dangers  which  may  surround  you. 

Your  Mother. 

My  grief  was  profound,  not  merely  because  I  was  sepa- 
rated from  both  mother  and  Frau  von  Friese,  but  still 
more  from  the  knowledge  that  the  two  persons  whom  I 
loved  most  in  the  world  were  both  at  the  same  time  ill  and 
unhappy,  while  I  was  unable  to  be  of  the  slightest  assist- 
ance to  either. 

Although  Mrs.  Kaiser  and  Laura  were  both  most  kind 
to  me,  and  tried  their  best  to  cheer  me  up,  the  first  few 
days  were  almost  unendurable.  Still,  it  was  May,  and  in 
May  Vienna  put  on  all  her  beauty  as  no  other  capital  in 
the  world  could.  Then  its  parks,  with  their  splendid 
drives,  bordered  by  long  avenues  of  stately  chestnuts  with 
velvety  turf  and  exquisite  flower-beds  about  them,  stood 
forth  in  glory.  Then  the  Prater  became  the  rendezvous 
of  Viennese  high  society.  Then  the  Freudenau,  at  the 
time  of  the  races,  was  a  blaze  of  fashionable  magnificence. 


THE  COURSE  OF  LOVE  183 

On  every  day  there  was  a  great  stream  of  carriages  along 
the  Hauptallee  (the  principal  avenue  of  the  Prater),  in 
which  could  be  seen  the  equipages  of  all  the  old  aristocratic 
families,  those  proud  names  which  made  the  Viennese 
Court  world-famous  for  its  pride  and  exclusiveness  —  the 
Liechtensteins,  the  Montenuovos,  the  Schwartzenbergs, 
the  Metternichs,  the  Fiirstenbergs,  the  Kinskys,  the  Har- 
rachs,  and  a  hundred  other  illustrious  houses,  whose  fame 
is  inseparably  interwoven  with  history. 

At  the  beginning  of  the  Hauptallee  were  the  coffee  gar- 
dens and  restaurants  where  the  citizens  resorted  to  spend 
their  leisure  in  social  gossip,  to  the  accompaniment  of  the 
famous  Viennese  waltzes  and  the  Austrian  folk-songs 
played  by  military  bands.  Here,  under  the  stately  trees 
whose  leaves  whispered  strange  tales  of  past  glories  or 
mournful  defeats,  the  middle-class  frequenters  gathered  to 
enjoy  their  beer  and  cheese,  or  drink  their  coffee  and  eat 
little  Viennese  rolls,  in  full  view  of  the  great  avenue  along 
which  the  carriages  of  their  more  privileged  fellow-citizens 
passed.  Often  must  some  young  girl,  walking  by  her 
mother's  side,  have  sighed  with  envy  as  she  saw  her  more 
fortunate  sisters  driving  by  in  splendour. 

Far  down  the  avenue,  quite  away  from  the  other  cafes 
and  standing  aside  from  the  Hauptallee,  was  the  Krieau, 
a  sort  of  idyllic  little  farm  planted  in  a  great  park.  Here, 
in  spite  of  its  simple  appearance,  you  could  get  anything 
just  as  at  any  other  place.  This  was  the  exclusive  resort, 
patronised  only  by  the  most  distinguished  people  in  art, 
literature,  finance,  politics,  and  society.  It  was  here  that 
all  the  noble  dames  and  cavahers  came  to  sip  their  coffee, 
their  tea,  or  their  chocolate,  in  aristocratic  seclusion,  and 
to  rest  from  their  drives.  For  a  couple  of  hours  in  the 
afternoon  empty  carriages  with  impassive  footmen  and 


184       THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

beautiful  horses  surrounded  it.  You  would  imagine  your- 
self at  the  entrance  of  a  theatre  rather  than  outside  a 
restaurant.  As  the  habitues  were  all  more  or  less  known 
to  one  another,  the  assembly  was  like  a  daily  tea-party 
given  by  the  same  hostess  —  a  very  different  kind  of  place 
from  such  a  rendezvous  as  the  Pre  Catalan  in  Paris,  for 
instance,  huge,  full  of  strangers,  and  unfriendly,  unless 
you  bring  your  own  friends  with  you.  Very  few  for- 
eigners knew  of  the  Krieau;  but  it  was  none  the  less  one 
of  the  most  interesting  and  curious  resorts  in  Vienna  in 
spring.  Here  you  might  see  the  city's  haute  voice  in 
intimate  intercourse.  Here  wit  and  beauty  reigned 
supreme.  Here,  quite  at  their  ease,  and  without  the 
stiffness  inseparable  from  formal  gatherings,  they  gaily 
chatted  of  social  events,  political  affairsi,  or  the  latest 
theatres.  The  fashionable  costumes  combined  with  the 
gay  badinage  to  produce  an  atmosphere  of  frivolity;  and 
the  stranger  surveying  the  scene  would  readily  have  be- 
heved  that  the  passage  of  time  in  Vienna  brought  to  all 
nothing  but  prosperity  and  pleasure. 

And  now  it  was  spring,  and  of  course  the  Krieau  was 
the  one  desirable  resort  for  Laura  and  her  mother.  So 
several  times  a  week  we  drove  down  the  Prater  and  had 
tea  there.  This  was  done,  perhaps,  as  much  for  my  pleas- 
ure as  for  theirs;  and  certainly,  in  spite  of  my  worry,  I 
rather  enjoyed  the  new  world  thus  introduced  to  me. 

On  one  of  our  very  first  visits  to  the  Krieau,  as  we  were 
sitting  with  a  few  lady  friends  of  Mrs.  Kaiser's,  I  sud- 
denly heard  a  voice  behind  me  saying,  *'  Good  afternoon, 
ladies." 

At  the  sound  of  the  voice  I  was  as  though  struck  by 
lightning.  I  felt  myself  grow  cold  and  pale,  and  then 
hot,  as  the  furious  blushes  covered  my  face.    A  strange 


THE  COURSE  OF  LOVE  185 

kind  of  excitement  came  upon  me.  I  knew,  as  will  easily 
have  been  guessed,  that  Ferdinand  Fellner  was  there  .  .  . 
and  it  was  spring. 

After  this  we  met  nearly  every  day,  although  always 
with  Mrs.  Kaiser  and  friends  of  hers.  We  never  saw  one 
another  alone  nor  for  more  than  half  an  hour  on  any  occa- 
sion. Yet  even  this  was  sufficient  to  cause  me  to  fall  com- 
pletely in  love  with  him.  It  was  very  wrong  of  Mrs. 
Kaiser  to  countenance  these  meetings,  but  her  foolish  good- 
nature made  it  impossible  for  her  to  foresee  the  conse- 
quences. And  perhaps,  too,  she  hoped  to  distract  my 
attention  from  my  sorrows.  From  the  day  of  our  first 
meeting  I  did,  indeed,  begin  to  grow  more  cheerful.  To 
my  youthful  imagination  it  seemed  that  it  was  the  hand  of 
fate  that  had  brought  me  once  more  under  the  care  of 
Mrs.  Kaiser  that  we  might  meet  again.  Suddenly  the 
sombre  hues  of  Hfe  were  changed. 

There  were  other  reasons,  too,  for  the  dispersal  of  my 
gloom.  Toward  the  end  of  May  I  received  a  letter  from 
mother.  She  wrote  that  her  stay  at  Kissingen  had  bene- 
fited her  very  much,  and  that  she  was  about  to  leave  for 
Schwalbach,  where  she  proposed  remaining  during  the 
month  of  June.  Frau  von  Friese  also  wrote  that,  though 
her  health  was  not  yet  satisfactory^  the  mere  fact  of  being 
once  more  in  her  native  land,  among  her  own  people,  made 
her  feel  better,  and  she  was  very  hopeful  for  the  future. 
Why  then  should  I  not  be  happy?  And,  despite  my  great 
affection  for  Frau  von  Friese,  I  knew  that  were  she  to 
return  I  should  no  longer  be  able  to  meet  Ferdinand  Fell- 
ner. The  flight  of  years  had  developed  my  independence 
of  character,  and  at  a  moment  like  this  my  heart  cried  out 
for  freedom.  With  Frau  von  Friese  at  hand  such  a  thing 
would  have  been  impossible.     Under  her  strict  discipline. 


186        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

what  a  sad  figure  I  should  have  cut,  had  I  even  dared  to 
hint  that  I  was  in  love !  She  would  probably  have  resorted 
to  extreme  measures  —  and  doubtless  she  would  have  been 
right.  But  nevertheless  my  love  was  rather  that  of  the 
child  than  of  the  woman.  It  was  not  even  platonic.  If 
I  must  analyse  my  feelings,  I  should  say  that  I  was  in 
love  with  the  physical  beauty  of  Ferdinand  Fellner,  for 
his  mental  qualities  (it  seems  to  me  nowadays)  were  rather 
mediocre.  Yet  there  was  never  in  my  mind  the  slightest 
thought  of  approaching  nearer  to  him.  A  kiss  was  un- 
thinkable. To  place  my  hand  in  his  would,  in  my  inno- 
cence, have  brought  no  feelings  of  self-consciousness  or 
shame.  There  was  nothing  for  which  I  can  really  blame 
myself. 

A  great  part  of  June  passed,  and  found  me  still  await- 
ing Frau  von  Friese's  return  to  join  my  mother  at  Ischl. 
But  toward  the  end  of  the  month  I  received  a  letter  from 
mother,  in  which  she  told  me  that  Frau  von  Friese  was 
about  to  undergo  an  operation,  and  consequently  would 
be  unable  to  return  for  about  six  weeks.  How  desperate 
should  I  have  been  at  another  time,  and  how  calmly  did 
I  now  receive  the  news !  Yet  I  could  not  help  feeling  re- 
gret when  I  read  the  following  in  mother's  letter  to  me : 

"  All  this  is  so  imexpected,  my  poor  child,  that,  being 
at  this  distance,  I  am  unable  to  make  any  different  arrange- 
ments for  you.  I  know  that  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Kaiser  in- 
tended to  travel  this  summer,  and  I  do  not  like  to  cause 
them  to  change  their  plans  for  my  sake,  much  as  I  should 
have  preferred  to  know  that  at  any  moment  I  wished  for 
news  of  you  I  should  find  you  always  in  the  same  place, 
instead  of  at  some  hotel  without  either  me  or  Frau  von 
Friese  at  your  side.     For  a  moment  I  thought  of  sending 


THE  COURSE  OF  LOVE  187 

you  to  Ischl  under  Fraulein  Hain's  and  Pirker's  care ;  but 
this  is  impossible  without  Frau  von  Friese.  Moreover,  it 
would  cause  deep  offence  to  Mr.  Kaiser,  and  as  I  cannot 
afford  to  make  any  enemies,  I  suppose  I  must  submit.  I 
ought  to  be  accustomed  to  it  by  this  time,  but  —  c^est  plus 
fort  que  moil  I  know  that  it  is  silly,  and  that  nothing 
will  happen.  It  is  probably  the  state  of  my  nerves  which 
causes  everything  to  appear  to  me  in  so  tragic  a  light.  As 
for  you,  my  dear  Baby,  be  reasonable,  and  do  not  be  too 
much  grieved  at  all  this.  Such  is  fate,  and  we  must  bow 
to  the  inevitable.  Let  us  hope  that  Frau  von  Friese  will 
soon  recover  and  that  you  will  be  able  to  join  me  shortly. 
Towards  the  15th  of  July  I  am  going  to  Ischl.  After  a 
short  stay  there  I  shall  go  to  Karrersee  in  the  Tyrol. 
About  a  month  later,  after  August  18th  if  nothing  occurs 
before  then,  I  hope  to  be  able  to  let  you  come.  Oh,  dar- 
ling, I  dare  not  think  that  I  shall  be  unable  to  see  you 
for  such  an  eternity." 

This  last  sentence  was  like  a  cry  of  grief  to  me.  I  felt 
so  miserable;  but  what  was  I  to  do?  She  had  written 
"  such  is  fate,"  and  as  for  my  fate,  did  I  not  think  I  knew 
what  that  was  to  be? 

For  the  time  being  I  had  to  part  from  Ferdinand  Fell- 
ner,  who  promised  to  meet  us  again  toward  the  end  of 
July,  or  early  in  August,  at  the  little  summer  resort  of 
Veldes,  in  the  Camic  Alps.  I  am  afraid  my  greatest 
anxiety  was  lest  Frau  von  Friese  might  recover  too 
quickly,  and  so  spoil  my  well-laid  plans.  How  selfish  and 
frivolous  I  had  become ! 

I  enjoyed  the  journey  greatly.  For  the  first  time  in 
my  life  I  travelled  like  an  ordinary  tourist,  halting  at 
various  places  on  the  way,  and  stopping  at  charming 
hotels,  where  I  was  not  obHged  to  remain  in  my  own  room. 


188        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

but  had  my  meals  like  the  others  in  the  public  dining- 
rooms.  Now  at  last  could  I  thoroughly  understand  my 
mother's  passion  for  travelling,  that  passion  which  made 
ignorant  people  call  her  mad. 

We  spent  several  weeks  journeying  through  the  prov- 
ince of  Salzburg,  and  a  great  part  of  the  Tyrol.  For- 
tunately for  my  plans,  Frau  von  Friese  recovered  slowly, 
and  wrote  that  she  would  be  unable  to  travel  before  Au- 
gust, so  that  I  could  look  forward  with  pleased  expectancy 
to  our  little  sojourn  at  Veldes. 

We  arrived  there  in  the  last  days  of  July.  Veldes  is  a 
pretty  little  place  on  the  shores  of  an  emerald-green  lake, 
and  is  surrounded  by  majestic  peaks,  covered  by  the  ever- 
lasting snow.  There  are  —  or  were  then  —  only  a  few 
villas;  but  there  was  the  cosiest  little  hotel  imaginable. 
On  the  day  of  our  arrival  we  made  the  acquaintance  of 
all  the  other  guests  in  the  place,  so  that  it  can  readily  be 
understood  that  their  number  must  have  been  limited. 
There  were  just  enough  to  make  it  interesting;  about  forty 
or  fifty  in  all.  But  if  the  company  was  small,  it  was  all 
the  more  select.  There  was  not  a  single  uncongenial  per- 
son in  the  httle  circle,  not  one  whose  presence  was  un- 
desirable. It  was  the  height  of  the  season,  and  so  there 
were  every  day  picnics  and  excursions,  as  well  as  dancing, 
bathing,  and  tennis  —  at  that  time  fully  established  in 
fashionable  society. 

A  few  days  after  our  arrival  Ferdinand  Fellner  joined 
us.  His  stay  was  limited  to  three  days,  for  he  had  to  join 
his  regiment  at  Agram  to  serve  his  requisite  four  weeks. 
Short  as  was  the  time,  we  had  more  opportunity  here  than 
in  Vienna  for  untrammelled  conversation.  Yet  the  charm 
of  the  situation  lay  rather  in  the  growth  of  our  mutual 
feelings  than  in  anything  that  was  said  between  us.     I 


THE  COURSE  OF  LOVE  189 

really  wonder  sometimes  to-day  why  I  found  this  yomig 
man  so  fascinating.  From  my  childhood  I  had  been 
serious  and  meditative,  while  he  did  not  seem  anxious  to 
utter  two  reasonable  words  consecutively.  It  must  have 
been  the  contrast  between  us  which  attracted  me.  His 
exuberant  cheerfulness  and  his  gay  lightheartedness,  so 
typically  Viennese,  were  a  revelation  to  me.  He  touched 
a  new  chord  in  my  hf e,  one  which  my  education  had  never 
touched,  but  had  left  undiscovered.  I  had  never  noticed 
before  that  my  life  had  been  so  terribly  strict,  not  to  say 
austere.  Indeed,  I  did  not  realise  it  even  then.  I  only 
felt  extremely  happy.  During  these  three  days  we  were 
constantly  together,  always  in  the  company  of  others,  yet 
always  alone.  Three  days  together  in  the  country  brings 
people  nearer  than  three  years  in  the  city.  Onlookers 
might  have  thought  that  we  spoke  of  nothing  but  love, 
whereas,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  not  one  word  of  love  passed 
our  lips.  But  I  was  so  innocently  stupid  that  I  never 
for  a  moment  imagined  things  could  have  been  different. 
I  knew  that  I  was  in  love  —  and  that  was  all  I  knew  about 
love. 

On  the  last  evening  of  his  stay  at  Veldes  there  was  a 
little  dance.  The  heat  of  the  evening  caused  many  of  the 
guests  to  seek  the  fresh  air  outside.  Feeling  rather  tired, 
I  looked  for  rest  and  seclusion  farther  down  the  terrace, 
where  it  jutted  out  into  the  lake.  I  was  all  alone  there. 
Behind  me  was  the  ghttering  hotel,  from  which  came 
snatches  of  laughter  and  strains  of  music  softened  by  the 
distance ;  before  me  lay  the  darkness  of  the  lake.  Above, 
the  myriads  of  stars  looked  down  in  soft  radiance  on  the 
world,  and  all  around  the  gentle  breeze  played,  enveloping 
me  in  its  cool  freshness.  The  deep  hush  of  the  outer  night 
was  broken  only  by  the  croak  of  the  frogs  in  the  adjacent 


190        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

meadows  or  the  quick  splash  of  a  leaping  fish  as  it  fell 
back  upon  the  surface  of  the  lake.  Suddenly  a  shooting 
star  flashed  along  the  blackness  of  the  sky.  I  bethought 
myself  of  the  superstition  that  a  wish  made  before  it  faded 
out  of  sight  would  be  fulfilled;  but  before  I  could  settle 
what  the  wish  should  be  the  glittering  meteor  had  disap- 
peared into  the  darkness.  Was  I  then  so  "  wunschlos 
gliicklich,"  as  we  say  in  Germany,  so  "  wishlessly  happy  "? 
Perhaps. 

Into  the  dreamy  peace  of  my  introspection  there  broke 
the  sound  of  a  quick,  light  step,  drawing  nearer,  and  then 
I  heard  Ferdinand  Fellner's  voice  saying :  — 

"  I  have  been  looking  everywhere  for  you,  and  now  at 
last  I  find  you  in  this  solitary  corner!  What  are  you 
doing  here?  Has  mamma  been  scolding  you  so  that  you 
have  come  here  to  get  over  it;  or  are  you  admiring  the 
moon  and  the  stars?  " 

"  Nothing  of  the  kind,"  I  answered  laughingly,  "  only 
sometimes  I  have  the  feeling  that  I  cannot  breathe  among 
all  those  people,  that  they  are  keeping  all  the  air  from  me, 
and  then  I  run  away." 

Out  on  the  lake  some  one  was  playing  on  the  horn 
"  When  the  moon  shines  bright."  Oh,  the  memories  of  my 
childhood,  the  happy  times  long  gone  by!  It  was  as 
though  mother  were  sending  me  a  signal  through  this 
song,  which  she  had  so  often  sung  to  me  when  I  was  a 
little  child. 

All  of  a  sudden  I  started.  A  slight  breath  touched  my 
hand,  which  was  resting  on  the  arm  of  the  basket  chair  in 
which  I  was  sitting.  Quickly  I  withdrew  my  hand.  I 
felt  myself  changing  colour,  but  I  could  not  speak.  I  had 
a  sensation  of  choking,  and  my  eyes  were  filled  with  tears. 
I  touched  the  back  of  my  hand  as  if  it  had  been  wounded. 


THE  COURSE  OF  LOVE  191 

In  the  darkness  all  this  was  invisible  to  Ferdinand  Fellner. 
At  my  silence  he  burst  into  laughter.  Then  he  clasped 
me  to  him  and  pressed  ardent  kisses  on  my  lips.  Vio- 
lently I  tore  myself  from  him  and  fled. 

For  half  the  night  I  could  not  sleep.  I  was  too  excited. 
I  did  not  know  whether  to  laugh  or  to  cry  over  what  had 
happened ;  but  after  a  time  I  felt  very  happy.  Now  I  was 
sure  that  he  loved  me.  At  this  idea  every  fibre  of  my 
being  quivered  with  joy,  and  my  cheeks  were  burning. 

However,  my  happiness  was  troubled.  I  felt  as  though 
his  kiss  were  visible,  like  a  scar  upon  my  lips.  The  next 
morning  I  did  not  dare  at  first  look  Laura  or  her  mother 
in  the  face. 

Unfortunately,  Fellner  was  leaving  the  same  morning, 
and  I  had  no  further  occasion  to  speak  with  him  alone. 
He  breakfasted  with  us,  was  as  gay  as  usual,  and  behaved 
as  if  nothing  extraordinary  had  happened.  Then  he  left, 
and  I  was  alone  with  my  reflections.  One  minute  I  would 
say  to  myself  that  there  was  nothing  in  such  a  kiss,  that  it 
was  only  my  ignorance  which  made  me  think  it  seriously 
meant.  The  next  I  remembered  that  he  had  pressed  my 
hand  at  parting,  and  had  said,  "  Take  care  of  yourself, 
and  be  good."  He  had  said  the  same  thing  in  Vienna 
when  we  separated,  but  that  was  before  the  kiss.  For 
more  than  a  week  I  wearied  myself  out  with  my  thoughts, 
and  things  remained  unchanged,  save  that  the  passing  days 
served  to  increase  my  infatuation  as  well  as  my  longing  to 
see  him  and  ask  him  what  he  had  meant. 

While  I  was  thus  troubled,  Mr.  Kaiser  announced  one 
day  at  lunch  that  he  had  had  news  from  Frau  von  Friese, 
who  was  returning  from  Denmark.  I  was  to  meet  her  at 
Villach  on  August  14th,  and  to  go  on  with  her  to  Karrer- 
see,  where  we  were  to  join  my  mother.     He  informed  me 


192        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

also  that  they  were  returning  to  the  neighbourhood  of 
Vienna,  to  stay  near  the  Semmering. 

This  news  was  not  unexpected  to  me,  but  in  spite  of 
that,  on  hearing  it,  I  blushed,  choked,  and  was  speechless 
for  a  moment.  I  recovered  myself  as  quickly  as  possible, 
pretending  that  it  was  my  joy  which  had  momentarily 
robbed  me  of  my  voice.  After  the  first  shock  my  pleasure 
was  indeed  unfeigned,  and  as  soon  as  I  had  had  time  to 
realise  the  situation  I  was  even  glad  of  the  opportunity  to 
tell  mother  everything.  But  it  was  not  only  joy  that  I 
felt.  I  reproached  myself  for  not  having  thought  of  her 
at  first,  and  suddenly  felt  how  I  had  neglected  her  in  not 
before  asking  her  advice.  And  yet  at  this  my  heart  sank. 
Could  I  not  guess  what  would  be  her  advice?  How  blind 
I  had  been!  Who  was  this  young  man,  and  who  was 
I?  My  only  answer  to  these  questions  was  a  despairing 
sob. 

On  August  15th  I  arrived  at  Karrersee,  where  mother 
had  already  been  a  few  days.  She  had  left  Ischl  a  week 
earlier  than  usual  on  account  of  the  disastrous  floods  pro- 
duced by  the  unceasing  rain,  which  had  rendered  further 
stay  there  inadvisable  for  her  health.  Had  it  not  been  for 
this,  according  to  her  usual  custom,  she  would  have  re- 
mained at  Ischl  over  the  18th,  so  as  to  be  with  the  Em- 
peror on  that  day,  which  is  his  birthday. 

My  poor  mother  had  by  this  time  so  learned  to  read  my 
face  that  she  immediately  noticed  something  unusual  about 
me.  In  the  very  first  minute  of  our  meeting  she  fastened 
a  long  look  upon  me,  a  look  which  caused  me  to  turn  my 
eyes  downwards  in  shame. 

I  had  arrived  in  the  afternoon,  so  that  mother  had  just 
time  to  slip  into  my  apartments  for  a  few  minutes,  to 
greet  Frau  von  Friese  and  to  hold  me  in  her  arms.     She 


THE  COURSE  OF  LOVE  198 

had  no  opportunity  to  talk  much.  It  was  therefore  ar- 
ranged that  I  should  come  to  her  room  at  ten  o'clock,  so 
as  to  make  sure  that  she  should  have  retired  and  that  no 
one  would  disturb  us. 

Having  travelled  for  nearly  two  whole  days,  of  which 
the  hours  between  Meran  and  Karrersee  were  spent  in  an 
old  country  carriage,  which  had  shaken  me  considerably,  I 
was  very  tired.  I  therefore  lay  down  immediately  after 
dinner,  requesting  Mina  to  wake  me  at  half -past  nine  in 
case  I  should  have  fallen  asleep.  But,  tired  though  I  was, 
I  could  not  sleep.  I  had  noticed  mother's  searching 
glance,  and  knew  that  my  confession  could  not  be  post- 
poned to  another  day  —  knew,  indeed,  that  she  would  ask 
for  it  at  the  very  first.  So  I  lay  on  my  bed,  shiver- 
ing with  cold  one  minute,  and  in  a  burning  fever  the 
next.  What  would  she  say?  Would  she  be  angry? 
Poor  darling  mother !  I  knew  she  would  not  be  that ;  but 
she  would  be  grieved,  and  that  was  worse.  I  looked  at 
my  httle  watch.  Time  was  going  so  slowly.  Or  was  it 
flying  swiftly,  oh,  so  swiftly?  There  was  still  half  an  hour 
more  to  be  spent  —  an  age  before  I  could  unburden  my 
heart  —  a  breath  before  I  must/ 

The  door  of  my  room  opened  slowly  and  cautiously.  I 
struck  a  light,  thinking  it  was  Mina.  I  almost  fell 
back  upon  the  pillows.  It  was  mother,  her  face  deeply 
serious  —  or,  it  would  be  more  true  to  say,  exceedingly 
mournful. 

I  sprang  from  the  bed  and  went  toward  her,  taking  hold 
of  her  hand  and  pressing  it  to  my  lips.  She  did  not  speak. 
She  took  my  hand  in  hers  and  went  slowly  towards  an  arm- 
chair, where  she  sat  down.  I  followed  mechanically  and 
seated  myself  at  her  feet. 

My  heart  was  beating  so  loud  that  she  must  have  heard 


194        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

it.  So  much  did  I  tremble  that  she  was  obliged  to  put 
her  arms  around  my  shoulders  to  support  me,  and  then, 
in  her  sweet  angehc  voice,  she  asked  me  what  had  hap- 
pened. 

I  scarcely  knew  what  I  was  saying.  I  tried  to  stammer 
out  a  few  words,  to  the  effect  that  I  could  not  help  it,  but 
that  I  was  very  ashamed  of  myself;  and  then  I  hid  my 
face  in  her  lap.  But  she  lifted  my  head  firmly,  and  com- 
pelled me  to  look  her  in  the  eyes.  Resistance  was  useless, 
I  knew,  and  I  made  no  struggle.  She  commanded  me  to 
speak  freely,  to  keep  no  secret  from  her.  In  a  softer  tone 
again  she  told  me  not  to  suppose  she  was  cross,  but  only 
to  remember  how  in  the  past  I  had  told  her  everything  and 
trusted  entirely  in  her. 

The  confessional,  however,  was  hard  now  as  it  had  never 
been  before.  She  had  to  put  questions  to  me  before  I 
could  proceed.  Slowly  and  painfully  she  drew  from  me 
at  length  the  whole  story.  When  I  had  finished  she  looked 
at  me  in  an  agony  of  apprehension.  Was  I  sure  that  I 
loved  the  man?  she  asked.  "  I  suppose  so,"  I  brokenly 
replied ;  whereat,  for  the  first  time,  she  could  not  repress  a 
smile.  Why  did  I  only  suppose?  she  asked.  Because 
sometimes  I  wished  I  had  never  met  him,  I  explained,  and 
yet  when  I  did  meet  him  my  heart  seemed  to  stand 
still.  .  .  . 

The  sadness  came  back  into  her  face  when  she  reminded 
me  that  I  had  told  her  nothing  at  all  about  the  matter  when 
we  were  at  Territet  together.  I  was  in  torture  when  she 
said  this,  and  tried  desperately  to  prove  to  her  that  I  did 
not  then  acknowledge  the  truth  to  myself,  and  so  deceived 
not  only  her  but  myself  also.  I  begged  her  to  beheve 
that,  now  I  saw  all,  I  recognized  the  folly  of  my  dreams, 
and  knew  that  I  had  been  thinking  of  impossibilities.     I 


THE  COURSE  OF  LOVE  195 

was  much  too  young  to  choose  for  myself.  It  was  for  her 
to  choose,  not  me. 

This  was  my  last  effort,  and  after  it  I  lost  all  control 
over  myself  and  burst  into  bitter  sobs.  I  knew  that  it 
would  have  been  a  terrible  blow  to  mother  if  I  had  told 
her  that  I  still  wished  to  marry  this  young  man.  Ferdi- 
nand Fellner  was  not  for  me.  I  had  said  good-bye  to  my 
first  dream  of  love.  How  difficult  it  would  really  be  to 
forget  I  did  not  then  understand ;  but  it  seemed  bad  enough 
even  at  the  time.  I  realised  that  I  had  practically  taken 
a  vow  to  put  him  out  of  my  heart  —  for  her  sake. 

Mother  lavished  affection  and  consolation  upon  me. 
She  knew  how  hard  the  task  was,  she  said,  but  I  must  be 
strong  and  trust  her,  as  I  had  always  done  before.  Then 
she  got  up  from  her  chair,  and,  looking  into  my  eyes,  she 
continued  gravely :  — 

"  Once,  when  you  were  quite  young,  do  you  remember, 
dear,  you  asked  me  to  lead  you  ?  The  way  is  full  of  thorns 
and  renunciations.  But  now  you  are  on  this  path,  and 
there  is  no  turning  back.  You  asked  me,  too,  to  give  you 
the  spurs  if  sometimes  you  refused  to  continue  along  the 
hard  road."  Suddenly  her  voice  choked  with  emotion,  and 
she  breathed,  rather  than  spoke,  her  last  words:  "And 
to-night  I  had  to  give  them." 

I  hid  my  face  on  her  shoulder,  and  wept  silently. 

"  Go  to  bed  now,"  she  whispered.  "  Try  to  sleep  and 
not  to  think,  and  only  remember  you  are  with  mother." 

And  with  that  she  said  good-night,  and  left  me. 


CHAPTER  XVIII 

A  TYROLESE  HOLIDAY 

In  spite  of  my  mother's  command  and  my  own  good  in- 
tentions, I  remained  awake  many  hours,  sobbing  as  if  my 
heart  would  break.  Only  when  the  morning  twilight  first 
began  to  steal  through  the  windows  did  I  find  a  troubled 
sleep.  But  not  in  vain  had  I  for  years  been  disciplined  in 
self-control.  For  her  dear  sake  alone  I  did  not  wish  to 
betray  my  grief,  and  so  I  soon  managed  to  appear  bright 
and  cheerful.  If  mother  suspected  possibly  that  in  the 
depth  of  my  heart  it  was  otherwise,  she  was  too  wise  to 
open  the  old  wounds  by  talking  much  about  them.  She 
hoped  that  my  youth  would  soon  enable  me  to  banish  even 
the  memories  of  this  experience. 

I  remained  at  Karrersee  with  my  mother  nearly  a  month. 
As  the  place  was  so  small,  consisting  in  fact  of  little  save 
the  hotel,  we  were  compelled  to  rise  early  to  enjoy  our 
daily  morning  walks  without  attracting  attention.  And 
this  was  necessary  to  avoid  not  merely  the  guests,  but  also 
the  Countess  Sztaray  and  General  von  Berceviczy,  who 
accompanied  her  to  Karrersee.  They  were  very  glad  to 
be  able  to  enjoy  the  comfort  of  their  beds  in  the  early 
morning  hours.  But  the  intimacy  of  the  place  made  it  less 
easy  for  us  to  be  together  than  mother  had  expected.  It 
is  true  that  her  suite  knew  of  my  presence  indirectly.  It 
was  more  of  a  farce  than  ever.  If  I  met  any  of  her  peo- 
ple we  each  pretended  not  to  know  who  the  other  was. 

196 


A  TYROLESE  HOLIDAY  197 

They  usually  tried  to  hide  from  me  —  to  my  great  amuse- 
ment. Etiquette  being  considerably  relaxed,  however,  all 
the  suite,  and  especially  the  Countess  Sztaray,  could  prac- 
tically enter  and  leave  mother's  apartments  unannounced. 
This  unusual  informahty  led  to  my  being  compelled  to 
secrete  myself  behind  mother's  bed  one  rainy  afternoon  to 
avoid  a  chance  encounter  with  the  Countess,  who  entered 
unexpectedly  with  an  important  message,  or  at  least  one 
that  she  chose  to  consider  important.  It  was,  as  a  matter 
of  fact,  only  a  letter  from  the  Countess  Harrach,  her  newly 
appointed  Mistress  of  the  Household,  who  had  written  in 
the  name  of  the  Emperor  to  ask  if  Her  Majesty  had  de- 
cided to  be  present  on  September  28th  at  the  reception  of 
the  King  and  Queen  of  Roumania  in  Budapest.  Of 
course,  in  Vienna  it  would  have  been  imperative  that  this 
should  be  communicated  at  once  to  the  Empress ;  but  here, 
at  Karrersee,  the  case  was  quite  different. 

I  do  not  know  which  at  that  moment  was  the  more  to 
be  pitied  —  mother,  who  almost  lost  her  presence  of  mind, 
and  did  lose  her  temper,  or  the  Countess,  who  realised  at 
once  that  she  had  made  a  mistake.  Mother  scarcely  gave 
the  Countess  time  to  dehver  her  message  before  exclaim- 
ing: "  T^o,  certainly  not  I  Tell  them  not  to  annoy  me 
with  their  tiresome  festivities,  and  to  leave  me  in  peace 
during  my  holidays."  With  this  she  made  an  impatient 
little  movement  of  her  hand,  as  though  to  brush  away  a 
fly  —  and  the  Countess  Sztaray  was  already  outside  the 
door. 

At  this  time  mother  was  so  ansemic  that  the  doctors  or- 
dered her  to  take  raw  meat,  especially  the  juice.  Now 
she  loathed  meat,  and  the  sight  of  blood  was  abhorrent  to 
her.  The  juice,  therefore,  she  usually  poured  away  into 
the  flower-pots  as  she  had  no  other  means  of  disposing  of 


198        THE  SECRET  OF  AIST  EMPRESS 

it  without  those  about  her  seeing  what  she  was  doing.  She 
dared  not  absolutely  refuse  to  take  it,  lest  the  doctors 
should  force  something  worse  upon  her.  As  for  the  raw 
meat,  she  would  keep  it  hidden  in  paper  until  she  could 
carry  it  away  and  get  rid  of  it.  Sometimes,  at  my  special 
request,  she  ate  some  of  it  —  loving  me  too  well  to  refuse 
me  even  this.  She  had  little  faith  in  physicians,  and 
trusted  to  Nature  rather  for  help.  She  adhered  to  her 
system  of  bodily  training  (prompted  to  a  certain  extent 
by  personal  vanity,  as  I  have  said  before),  and  this  must 
have  increased  her  nervous  malady  and  physical  weak- 
ness. 

This  summer,  as  already  related,  my  mother  broke 
through  her  regular  custom  of  spending  the  Emperor's 
birthday,  August  18th,  with  him  at  Ischl.  The  guests  in 
the  hotel  at  Karrersee,  as  everywhere  else  in  Austria,  cele- 
brated the  day  with  a  banquet,  followed  by  a  dance  in  the 
evening.  Mother  and  I  both  absented  ourselves  from 
them  and  spent  the  greater  part  of  the  day  together.  On 
the  previous  day,  in  honour  of  the  occasion,  the  English 
guests  had  presented  an  address  to  mother,  through  the 
Rev.  Mr.  Bennett,  who  was  staying  at  Karrersee. 

As  the  summer  of  1897  was  rather  rainy,  our  early 
morning  walks  often  constituted  the  only  time  of  the  day 
spent  out  of  doors.  I  had  my  own  suite  of  rooms  with 
Frau  von  Friese  and  my  maid.  I  took  all  my  meals  in  my 
room,  so  saw  very  little  of  the  other  guests,  and  they  saw 
equally  little  of  me.  After  my  barely  averted  encounter 
with  Countess  Sztaray,  mother  preferred  to  come  to  my 
rooms  rather  than  that  I  should  visit  hers.  Accordingly 
she  spent  hours  with  me  there,  often  taking  her  meals  with 
me.  Everything  was  brought  into  the  little  ante-room, 
and  from  there  set  before  us  by  Mina.     I  have  often  won- 


A  TYROLESE  HOLIDAY  199 

dered  what  the  hotel  servants  thought  of  the  hfe  I  led 
while  I  was  there.  As  Frau  von  Friese  had  not  yet  fully 
recovered,  and  remained  mostly  on  the  balcony  leading  out 
of  her  room,  perhaps  they  thought  it  was  on  her  account 
that  I  lived  such  a  secluded  life. 

Mother  was  very  kind  to  Frau  von  Friese  now,  as  ever, 
and  when  we  were  together  she  was  usually  with  us.  In- 
deed, they  were  on  such  terms  of  intimacy  that  all  formal- 
ity was  entirely  dispensed  with.  There  was  absolutely  no 
constraint  in  their  intercourse,  and  Frau  von  Friese  always 
came  or  went  as  she  felt  disposed. 

I  had  my  own  table  service,  as  mother  never  Hked  the 
ordinary  hotel  ware.  She  did  not  object  to  drinking  from 
a  poor  peasant's  cup  at  a  Httle  mountain  farm,  but  she 
always  said  there  was  nothing  more  unappetising  than 
hotel  plates  and  dishes.  And,  in  fact,  in  spite  of  all  her 
travelling,  she  used  them  as  little  as  possible. 

At  table  Mina's  waiting  was  reduced  to  the  minimum. 
She  served  us  once  each,  then  placed  the  dishes  in  the  centre 
of  the  table  and  retired.  After  that  we  helped  ourselves. 
This  was  very  different  from  our  custom  in  Vienna,  where 
a  certain  state  was  kept  up  through  the  presence  of  Pirker 
and  Leopold,  who  would  have  been  horrified  at  any  breach 
of  etiquette. 

Mother  thoroughly  enjoyed  these  little  meals  of  ours  at 
Karrersee,  and  one  day  exclaimed :  — 

"  Here  at  last  I  can  enjoy  a  meal  in  comfort  —  nobody 
to  watch  me  all  the  time,  and  eat  as  I  like !  Really,  Frau 
von  Friese,  we  made  a  great  mistake  in  not  ordering  the 
same  arrangements  for  your  home  in  Vienna.  But  I  sup- 
pose Pirker  never  would  have  given  his  permission !  " 

At  these  words  Frau  von  Friese  and  I  burst  into  laugh- 
ter, for  really  poor  Pirker  was  a  terror  to  the  entire  house- 


200        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

hold  witHout  exception.  Mother  used  to  say  sucH  things 
in  a  very  humorous  way,  quite  unhke  anyone  else.  And 
she  always  made  her  most  amusing  remarks  with  a  per- 
fectly serious  face. 


CHAPTER  XIX 

A   THUNDERBOLT 

About  the  beginning  of  October  I  returned  to  Vienna, 
after  having  spent  over  two  weeks  with  the  Kaisers  at 
Reichenau.  Now  that  I  was  again  away  from  mother, 
life  seemed  wearier  than  ever.  Moreover,  my  relations 
with  Frau  von  Friese  were,  for  a  time  at  least,  somewhat 
strained.  I  felt  that  she  strongly  disapproved  of  my  love 
affair,  and  was  offended  that  I  had  not  confessed  all  to 
her  before.  She  seemed  disappointed  in  me,  and  made  me 
feel  it.  Besides,  she  had  not  recovered  her  usual  good 
health,  and  so  had  good  reason  for  being  low-spirited. 
She  who  had  formerly  been  so  cheerful  and  talkative  was 
greatly  changed. 

She  now  ruled  me  with  an  iron  strictness,  and  was  very 
stern  with  me  at  all  times.  She  talked  in  a  very  abrupt 
manner;  and  as  for  me,  I  scarcely  dared  to  speak  a  word 
to  her  unless  asked  to  do  so.  My  life  became  extremely 
mechanical,  every  day  the  same  —  lessons,  walks,  meals, 
and  sleep.  Not  a  moment's  recreation  was  there;  not  a 
single  opportunity  to  do  as  I  wished.  For  years  past  the 
evening  had  been  my  time  of  recreation,  when  I  read  or 
played  the  piano  or  did  needlework.  During  the  last  year 
I  had  been  at  least  once  a  week  to  the  opera,  to  a  concert, 
to  some  other  place  of  amusement,  or  to  Elsa's  home. 
This  brought  some  slight  variety  into  the  monotony  of 
my  life.     But  this  autumn  Frau  von  Friese  gave  me 

201 


202        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

special  lessons  every  evening  from  half-past  seven  to  half- 
past  ten ;  three  consecutive  hours  of  work  after  the  lessons 
of  the  day.  "  This  will  make  us  both  tired  and  sleepy," 
she  said.     "  We  need  it,  so  as  not  to  lie  awake  in  bed." 

I  understood  what  she  meant.  But  how  harsh  I  found 
this  measure  of  hers! 

In  the  mornings  I  went  to  a  class  to  learn  dressmaking, 
this  time  with  Laura,  while  in  the  afternoons  I  took  lessons 
in  commercial  subjects,  such  as  book-keeping,  shorthand, 
etc.  My  going  again  to  the  sewing-class  was  a  species  of 
penance  decided  upon  by  Frau  von  Friese  after  my  return 
from  Karrersee.  Mother  was  asked  to  agree  to  this  by 
letter.  As  she  had  always  approved  Frau  von  Friese's 
dispositions  concerning  me,  she  did  not  deem  it  wise  to 
interfere  now,  so  she  wrote  expressing  her  consent.  Thus 
my  time  was  fully  occupied  from  morning  to  night. 

The  sewing-school  was  a  private  one,  belonging  to  a 
Friiulein  Fritzi  Weigh  The  pupils  were  of  a  better  class 
than  those  of  the  previous  year  in  the  Frauenerwerbverein. 
Although  a  few  expected  to  have  to  make  their  living  by 
the  knowledge  acquired  there,  the  great  majority  only 
came  to  learn  dressmaking,  so  that  they  might  save  the 
expense  of  a  dressmaker  in  after  years.  Nevertheless, 
there  was  not  a  single  girl  there  of  Laura's  social  standing, 
and  once  again  I  felt  out  of  place. 

The  month  of  October  passed  slowly  and  monotonously. 
On  November  1st  my  mother  returned  from  GodoUo,  as 
was  her  custom  every  year,  for  All  Souls'  Day,  and  my 
Saint's  Day,  the  4th  of  the  month.  Now  at  least  I  was 
happier  again. 

About  this  time,  also,  we  had  a  little  change  in  our 
sewing-class,  which  made  it  pleasanter  for  Laura  and  for 
me.     This  was  caused  by  the  entrance  into  the  class  of 


A  THUNDERBOLT  203 

three  young  girls  who  were  more  our  equals,  the  Baroness 
Marianne  Devez,  Hanna  Taschermann,  and  Bertha 
Habrda.  Fraulein  Weigl's  pupils  sat  at  tables  with  room 
for  about  six  at  each. 

Until  this  time  Laura  and  I  had  sat  alone,  but  now  these 
three  new  girls  were  placed  at  our  table.  Neither  of  us 
was  personally  acquainted  with  them  before  this,  though 
Laura  knew  them  all  by  name  and  sight.  The  day  after 
their  arrival  —  it  was,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  St.  Charles's 
Day  —  in  great  delight  I  told  mother  about  our  new 
school  companions.  No  sooner  had  I  pronounced  the 
name  of  Bertha  Habrda,  however,  than  I  was  stunned  by 
mother's  outcry.     "  Habrda?  "  she  all  but  shrieked. 

Then  catching  hold  of  my  two  arms  and  bending  her 
terrified  face  towards  mine,  she  cried  again,  in  a  voice  ab- 
solutely hoarse  with  emotion:  "  Habrda?  Did  you  say 
Habrda?     Are  you  sure?  " 

I  was  so  frightened  that  I  could  not  answer.  My 
mother  did  not  seem  to  expect  it,  for  she  continued:  "  Do 
you  know  what  her  father  is?     What  is  his  position? " 

"  I  only  know  he  is  Hofrath  [Privy  Councillor] 
Habrda,"  I  stammered. 

I  had  never  seen  mother  so  much  excited  in  my  life.  She 
kept  on  clenching  and  unclenching  her  fists,  in  impotent 
anger,  exclaiming  again  and  again :  "  Oh !  the  scoundrels, 
the  scoundrels ! " 

I  caressed  and  kissed  her  hands  in  an  endeavour  to  soothe 
her.  But  it  was  of  little  avail,  for  she  went  on  in  the  same 
harsh,  strained  tones :  "  Tell  Frau  von  Friese  to  come  at 
once  to  your  room." 

I  got  up  immediately  and  fetched  my  governess.  When 
we  came  back  mother  had  to  some  extent  regained  her 
usual  composure. 


204        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

"  Frau  von  Friese,"  she  said,  "  I  wish  Lintchi  to  leave 
that  sewing-school  at  once." 

"  As  it  pleases  your  Majesty,"  Frau  von  Friese  replied. 
"  But  may  I  ask  why?  " 

I  was  afraid  mother  would  lose  her  temper  again;  but 
she  only  turned  first  very  red,  and  then  very  pale  as  she 
said:  "Do  you  know  the  name  of  Habrda,  Frau  von 
Friese?" 

"  No,  your  Majesty,  I  never  heard  the  name  before 
Lily  mentioned  it,"  was  the  quiet  answer. 

"  Perhaps  it  will  suffice  if  I  tell  you  that  the  last  police 
superintendent  in  charge  of  the  personal  safety  of  the 
Crown  Prince  was  Johann  Habrda  —  and  his  daughter  is 
at  the  same  school  as  mine!"  (Here  Frau  von  Friese 
gave  a  little  cry  of  astonishment.)  "Now  j^ou  know 
why  I  do  not  wish  my  girl  to  remain  any  longer  at  this 
school." 

Frau  von  Friese  stood  in  silent  thought  for  a  moment 
and  then  asked:  "  Does  your  Majesty  really  believe  then 
that  there  is  some  hidden  motive  for  placing  these  young 
girls  near  Lily? " 

"  You  are  too  optimistic,  Frau  von  Friese.  I  am  sure 
of  it,"  answered  my  mother,  with  deep  feeling. 

"  I  ask  your  Majesty's  permission,"  calmly  continued 
Frau  von  Friese,  "  to  do  a  little  reasoning.  In  the  first 
place,  is  it  probable  that  Hofrath  Habrda  would  use  his 
own  sixteen-year-old  daughter  as  a  spy?  This  is  abso- 
lutely unlikely.  That  being  so,  what  can  he  expect  to  get 
through  her  being  there?  " 

"  He  will  use  his  daughter,  without  her  knowing  it, 
simply  as  a  detective,  so  as  by  this  to  find  out  facts  about 
my  child." 

"  No,  your  Majesty,"  was  the  reply.     "  Had  he  desired 


A  THUNDERBOLT  205 

he  would  have  found  an  easier  way  to  discover  what  he 
wished." 

During  this  conversation  I  stood  staring  at  them  both, 
turned  almost  to  stone  with  surprise  and  apprehension. 

"  What  is  it,  mother?  "  I  asked  at  last,  doing  my  best  to 
master  my  excitement.  "Who  knows  of  our  secret? 
Why  should  the  pohce  interfere?  It  is  none  of  their  busi- 
ness, for  we  are  not  criminals." 

"  ]My  dear,  dear  Weiberl,"  said  mother  in  a  low  voice, 
"  you  have  no  idea  of  the  many  things  with  which  the  police 
meddle."  She  continued  in  tones  full  of  anguish: 
"  Must  I  inch  by  inch  destroy  your  youth  entirely?  Must 
I  tell  you  of  all  the  crimes  which  are  committed  every  year? 
Do  you  know  how  many  people  have  disappeared  in  this 
city,  and  are  still  disappearing  every  day,  without  anybody 
knowing  what  becomes  of  them?  " 

"  Oh,  mamma,  then  do  you  believe  that  something  might 
happen  to  me?"  I  exclaimed.  The  idea  seemed  to  me 
rather  interesting  than  terrifying  now.  In  my  heart  of 
hearts,  I  thought  it  more  the  product  of  mother's  nervous- 
ness than  anything  else.  I  imagine  that  Frau  von  Friese 
was  of  much  the  same  opinion,  for  she  said:  *'  I  must  ask 
your  Majesty's  pardon  for  what  I  venture  to  say,  but  I 
really  think  she  is  carrying  her  anxiety  a  little  too  far. 
Her  JVIajesty  is  very  imprudent  about  her  safety,  and 
now  she  sees  things  far  blacker  than  they  really  are." 

"  So  then,  to  speak  plainly,  my  dear  Friese,  you  do  not 
agree  with  me  ?     You  think  it  simply  a  coincidence  ?  " 

"  Yes,  your  Majesty,  and  I  do  not  believe  that  there  is 
the  slightest  danger  for  Lily  in  remaining  at  the  school. 
And  let  us  even  suppose  that  there  are  grounds  for  sus- 
picion. What  a  good  training  this  will  be  for  her  to  meet 
the  world!" 


206       THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

At  these  words  poor  mother  hid  her  face  in  her  hands 
to  conceal  her  despair,  for  she  knew  that  she  would  again 
be  obliged  to  submit  to  my  implacable  governess. 

Frau  von  Friese  continued  in  the  same  calm,  even  voice, 
ignoring  my  mother's  emotion:  "  I  have  to  be  hard,  your 
Majesty.  I  am  the  one  who  has  taken  in  hand  the  task 
of  preparing  this  child  for  life.  I  must  not  blind  myself. 
What  can  she  learn  if  she  is  always  to  be  sheltered?  How 
can  she  learn  to  protect  herself?  No,  as  I  said,  here  is  a 
splendid  opportunity  for  her.  If  this  is  really  some  trick, 
is  it  not  by  our  good  fortune  that  they  were  so  simple  as  to 
make  their  action  easily  discoverable?  Unfortunately, 
your  Majesty,  I  imagine  them  to  be  more  skilful.  We 
have  to  beware  of  the  traps  we  are  unable  to  see,  not  those 
like  this." 

And  so  I  continued  to  go  to  the  school.  Mother,  how- 
ever, thought  it  time  now  to  enlighten  me  about  the  trag- 
edy of  my  brother's  death,  of  which  hitherto  she  had  al- 
ways refused  to  speak.  What  she  told  me  I  will  in  my 
turn  relate. 


CHAPTER  XX 

MAYERLING 

"  Rudy  never  committed  suicide !  Rudy  was  mur- 
dered!" 

These  were  my  mother's  words.  What  indescribable 
despair  did  they  convey  —  the  despair  that  dries  up  the 
source  of  tears  and  turns  sleep  into  an  evil  dream!  The 
state  of  her  soul  since  the  death  of  the  Crown  Prince  was 
not  one  of  ordinary  sorrow  over  a  bereavement,  but  some- 
thing far  worse.  Blended  with  the  terrible  anguish  caused 
to  her  by  the  loss  of  her  only  boy  was  a  feeling  of  intense, 
concentrated  hatred  for  those  who  had  been  the  authors  of 
his  death.  Her  heart  cried  out  for  vengeance;  and  this 
mother's  wrath  was  all  the  more  desperate  because  her  own 
exalted  position  prevented  her  from  tracking  down  the 
guilty  ones,  who  were  themselves  of  high  standing,  or 
sheltered  behind  higher  personages  still  to  save  themselves 
from  attack. 

Yes,  Rudolf  was  murdered.  This  is  the  true  solution 
of  the  riddle  of  Mayerling,  and  I  am  grateful  to  Fate  that 
for  me  has  been  reserved  the  duty  of  revealing  the  true 
story  to  the  world. 

In  order  to  make  things  clearer  to  me  my  mother  gave 
me  a  detailed  description  of  the  manners  and  customs  of 
the  Court  of  Vienna.  I  have  already,  earlier  in  this  book, 
said  something  upon  this  subject,  but  even  at  the  risk  of 
wearying  the  reader  with  repetition  it  is  necessary  to  re- 
turn to  it  again  here.    At  the  Viennese  Court  far  more 

207 


208        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

than  at  any  other  Court  in  the  world,  not  only  the  mem- 
bers of  the  Imperial  Family,  but  all,  be  they  men  or 
women,  who  are  admitted  within  the  sacred  precincts,  lead 
a  life  very  remote  from  that  of  the  outside  world.  Here  a 
long  roll  of  ancestors  is  still  the  only  passport,  and  whoso- 
ever cannot  produce  one,  if  indeed  he  can  gain  admission 
at  all,  is  eyed  with  severe  disapproval.  The  inhabitants  of 
this  select  place  think  themselves  much  too  good  for  the 
rest  of  mankind,  who  are  mere  canaille  in  comparison,  and 
they  actually  believe  that  it  is  by  the  grace  of  God  that 
they  have  a  right  to  the  privileges  and  comforts  of  life. 
They  dwell  in  splendid  luxury,  while  others  who  are  not 
*'  high-born  "  spend  their  last  penny  and  work  their  fin- 
gers to  the  bone  in  their  service.  These  aristocrats  play 
indeed  at  charity  because  it  is  good  form,  comme  il  faut, 
and  also  because  it  is  a  very  pleasant  stimulant  to  look 
upon  the  misery  of  others  from  the  midst  of  one's  own  hap- 
piness. 

The  Spanish  etiquette  still  reigns  at  the  Court  of  Vi- 
enna, which  was  there  in  the  reign  of  the  Emperor  Charles 
V.  Whatever  the  occasion  may  be,  a  birth,  a  wedding,  a 
funeral,  a  glad  or  a  mournful  ceremony,  the  feeling  of  an 
outside  spectator  must  be  the  same ;  he  is  carried  back  three 
hundred  years  into  the  past.  The  same  state  of  affairs 
prevails  with  regard  to  the  government  of  the  Imperial 
Family,  over  which  the  power  of  the  Emperor  is  absolute. 
The  same  again  is  true  of  the  household,  everything  must 
be  in  the  same  rank,  in  the  same  order,  down  to  the  small- 
est detail  of  State  livery.  All  is  Spanish,  all  is  narrow 
and  arrogant.  And,  of  course,  all  who  claim  to  belong 
to  the  Court  fashion  their  lives  on  the  same  model. 

In  contrast  to  this  pomp  and  almost  Oriental  luxury,  in 
contrast  to  this  conceit  of  exalted  birth,  stand  the  self -de- 


Baroness  Marie  Vetsera  Crown  Prince  Rudolf 

{From  a  water-color  miniature) 


Mayerling 


MAYERLING  209 

nial  and  renunciation,  the  gentleness  and  tolerance  incul- 
cated by  the  Church,  the  all-powerful  Roman  Catholic 
Church.  The  inevitable  results  of  these  contradictory  in- 
fluences are  deceit,  immorality,  and  intrigue.  Hypo- 
crites, slanderers,  and  treacherous  dealers  abound. 
Everyone  has  his  own  father-confessor,  from  whom  he  re- 
ceives absolution;  for  the  Church  has  no  wish  to  lose  the 
favour  of  these  great  folk,  and  is  content  if  appearances 
are  maintained.  So  clergy  and  Court  are  the  best  of 
friends,  and  appearances  are  maintained  excellently. 

It  is  necessary  to  have  lived  among  these  people  in  order 
to  understand  the  various  causes  which  drive  them  to  be- 
come bad;  how  in  one  case  it  is  fear,  in  another  ambition, 
in  another  weakness  of  character,  in  another  inborn  vice. 
Anyone  amongst  them  whose  mind  is  of  a  different  cast 
and  who  expresses  different  views  is  looked  upon  as  an 
apostate,  and  his  life  is  that  of  a  prisoner,  wearily  drag- 
ging around  with  him  the  chains  of  his  captivity. 

What  wonder  is  it,  then,  that  a  deep  and  liberal  thinker 
like  the  Crown  Prince  Rudolf  should  try  to  set  himself 
free  from  such  surroundings? 

Rudolf  in  his  childhood  had  been  brought  up  in  the  nar- 
rowest of  ways,  as  might  be  imagined  when  it  is  said  that 
the  sole  control  of  his  early  education  was  in  the  hands  of 
the  Archduchess  Sophia,  his  grandmother.  As  a  matter 
of  course,  he  was  taught  to  beheve  implicitly  in  the  "  di- 
vine right  of  kings  " ;  and,  until  the  time  came  when  he  be- 
gan to  observe  and  think  for  himself,  he  was  contemptuous 
of  others'  feelings  and  arrogant  in  his  behaviour.  His  na- 
ture was  close,  defiant,  wilful  and  passionate,  and  he  pre- 
ferred his  own  company.  When  a  little  boy  he  liked  to 
play  alone,  and  got  angry  if  anyone  else  touched  his  toys. 
As  he  got  older  he  showed  a  taste  for  reading,  and  took 


210        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

much  interest  in  everything  connected  with  animals  and 
plants,  about  which  he  never  seemed  able  to  learn  enough. 
Had  he  not  been  born  a  Crown  Prince  he  would  probably 
have  become  a  naturalist,  for  he  possessed  the  requisite 
abihty  and  strength  of  will,  loved  the  active  open-air  life, 
and  was  gifted  with  more  than  average  intelligence. 
When  he  grew  up,  he  became  less  reserved  —  under  the  in- 
fluence of  her  who  was  his  mother  and  mine  —  especially  in 
the  society  of  the  people  whom  he  felt  to  be  sympathetic, 
and  he  lost  the  haughtiness  which  had  been  implanted  in 
him. 

It  has  been  brought  as  a  charge  against  Rudolf  that  he 
was  exceedingly  frivolous  and  frittered  away  his  time  in 
the  company  of  frivolous  women.  This  is  mere  invention. 
By  temperament  he  was  very  serious,  and  the  consequence 
was  that  cheerfulness  with  him  often  showed  itself  in  noisy 
gaiety;  for  it  is  hard  for  natures  like  his  to  preserve  their 
balance  in  such  circumstances.  But  his  amusements  were 
not  dissolute  ones.  An  Imperial  prince,  however,  readily 
incurs  suspicions  of  this  kind.  Rudolf's  chief  amusement 
was  to  drive  out  with  his  favourite  coachman,  Bratfisch,  to 
the  suburbs,  and  there  to  pay  a  visit  to  some  small  inn. 
Here  he  would  stay  till  late  at  night  over  his  Heurigen  — 
that  is  to  say,  wine  of  the  current  year  —  listening  to  the 
singing  of  popular  songs  or  talking  with  the  ordinary  peo- 
ple sitting  about  him.  These  night  excursions  of  his  were 
not  merely  an  idle  device  for  killing  time.  They  were 
prompted  by  the  instinct  of  the  inquirer,  the  spirit  of  Har- 
oun-el-Raschid  —  a  spirit,  by  the  way,  which  also  showed 
itself  in  Ludwig  I  of  Bavaria.  How  much  more  practical 
was  this  method  of  investigating  the  ways  and  thoughts 
of  the  people  than  the  usual  systematic  plan  which  crams 
the  minds  of  princes  with  useless  rubbish.     Rudolf  by  his 


MAYERLING  211 

conduct  soon  gained  the  hearts  of  all  his  people  and  made 
himself  more  popular  than  any  other  member  of  the  Im- 
perial family.  "  Our  Rudy  "  was  his  name  everywhere, 
and  it  was  with  feelings  of  confidence  that  men  looked  for- 
ward to  the  days  when  he  should  reign  over  them. 

Through  the  whole  course  of  his  childhood  he  had  been 
treated  with  such  an  exaggeration  of  strictness  where  re- 
ligious matters  were  concerned  that,  when  he  had  grown  to 
be  a  thinking  human  being,  he  felt  an  utter  repulsion  for 
the  Church  and  he  never  attended  its  services  unless  actu- 
ally compelled  to  do  so;  and  he  habitually  ridiculed  the 
hypocrisy  of  the  clergy.  But  in  time,  as  he  discovered  the 
extent  of  their  trickery,  and  particularly  that  of  the  Jes- 
uits, and  realised  what  a  harmful  power  they  wielded  in 
Austria,  he  ceased  to  laugh  at  them  and  began  to  meditate 
how  he  might  one  day  cut  himself  free  from  them.  He 
sought  his  friends  among  the  men  of  science,  the  writers 
and  artists  —  and  became  a  freemason.  Now  masonry  in 
Austria  is  quite  a  different  thing  from  what  it  is  in  any 
other  country  in  the  world.  It  is  forbidden.  The  Church 
in  Austria  has  such  strength  that  it  has  succeeded  in  hav- 
ing masonry  declared  illegal.  To  be  a  freemason,  there- 
fore, is  to  break  the  law.  The  meetings  of  this  necessarily 
secret  society,  when  discovered,  are  broken  up  and  the 
members  are  prosecuted  in  the  courts.  And  the  Crown 
Prince  of  Austria  was  a  freemason ! 

Of  a  certainty  Rudolf  was  neither  the  frivolous  creature 
nor  the  libertine  which  his  enemies  endeavoured  to  repre- 
sent him  as  being.  But  their  point  of  view  —  or,  rather, 
their  plan  of  campaign  —  is  intelligible  enough.  They 
had  to  be  prepared  for  troublous  times  when  he  should 
mount  the  throne.  The  Prince  took  as  his  ideal  and  model 
the  Emperor  Joseph  II.     This  monarch,  who  reigned 


212        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

from  1780  to  1790  and  was  the  brother  of  the  unhappy 
Marie- Antoinette,  made  matters  very  uncomfortable  for 
the  clergy  and  the  nobility  of  his  empire.  He  specially  de- 
creed that  all  religious  orders  whose  members  would  not 
"  keep  school,  or  preach,  or  help  the  sick  and  dying,  or  dis- 
tinguish themselves  by  study,"  should  have  their  property 
confiscated.  With  the  money  thus  acquired  he  founded 
schools,  hospitals,  lunatic  asylums,  orphanages,  and  other 
charitable  institutions.  He  soon  went  on  to  interfere  with 
the  internal  affairs  of  the  Church  in  his  dominions  and  to 
regulate  the  order  of  the  services  and  the  details  connected 
with  processions,  pilgrimages,  indulgences,  etc. ;  in  fact,  to 
subject  the  Church  entirely  to  the  authority  of  the  State. 

In  order  to  put  a  stop  to  these  measures,  the  Pope  of 
the  day,  Pius  VI,  condescended  even  to  go  to  Vienna  and 
beg  the  Emperor  not  to  proceed  with  his  reforms.  But 
he  strove  in  vain.  The  reformation  went  on.  The  Jes- 
uits were  banished  from  the  Empire.  The  Protestants, 
on  the  other  hand,  who  had  suffered  terribly  in  Austria 
for  the  past  hundred  and  fifty  years,  obtained  all  manner 
of  alleviations.  The  Jews  were  granted  freedom  of  move- 
ment. Hitherto  they  had  been  forced  to  live  in  their 
ghettos  and  to  wear  the  yellow  patch  on  their  clothes  as  a 
distinguishing  mark. 

The  nobles  did  not  come  off  much  better  than  the 
Church.  Innumerable  privileges  which  previously  had 
been  theirs  were  done  away  with.  What  affected  them 
most  painfully  was  the  abolition  of  serfdom,  by  which  a 
great  portion  of  their  possessions  was  taken  from  them 
and  made  over  to  the  freed  peasantry. 

The  last-named  measures  were  allowed  to  continue  in 
force  after  the  death  of  the  Emperor  Joseph.  But  under 
his  successors  the  Church  of  Rome  secured  a  complete 


MAYERLING  213 

restitution  of  her  lost  rights.  In  particular  the  religious 
orders  and  the  monasteries  were  restored.  And  the  Jes- 
uits, above  all,  regained  their  position,  their  power  now 
spreading  farther  than  ever. 

Rudolf  never  concealed  his  aversion  to  the  Church,  and 
to  the  Jesuits  in  chief;  and,  as  I  have  already  said,  they 
could  anticipate  no  good  for  themselves  from  his  accession 
to  the  throne.  It  did  not  take  long,  therefore,  for  a  party 
hostile  to  him  to  form  at  the  Court.  It  would  be  difficult 
to  name  all  the  members  of  importance  in  this  party.  But 
it  can  be  stated  definitely  that  at  its  head  stood  the  Arch- 
duke Karl-Ludwig  (Charles-Louis),  brother  of  the  Em- 
peror and  father  of  the  then  heir-presumptive,  the  Arch- 
duke Franz-Ferdinand.  Karl-Ludwig  had  never  forgiven 
his  elder  brother  for  being  bom  before  him  and  thus  ob- 
taining the  Imperial  crown.  Yet  he  had  a  great  influ- 
ence over  Francis-Joseph,  and  probably  it  was  for  this 
reason  that  he  was  chosen  to  head  the  party  against  the 
Crown  Prince.  He  was  well  fitted  for  the  post,  since  no 
one  could  match  him  in  creeping  hypocrisy. 

My  mother  heard  nothing  about  the  vile  intrigue  until 
after  the  death  of  Rudolf.  The  latter  was  unequal  to 
coping  with  the  machinations  of  his  enemies.  His  very 
uprightness  was  in  itself  an  obstacle  to  him.  It  prevented 
him  from  being  able  to  judge  clearly  the  baseness  of  other 
people.  Besides,  the  effect  of  his  early  education  had  been 
to  foster  in  him  a  goodly  portion  of  self-conceit,  which 
never  left  him.  He  could  not  imagine  that  anyone  could 
set  himself  up  as  a  rival  to  him. 

Perhaps  Rudolf's  greatest  misfortune,  however,  was  his 
indifference  toward  the  military  profession.  'Not  that  he 
felt  any  personal  dislike  against  soldiers;  but  he  did  not 
take  the  slightest  interest  in  them  and  their  pursuits. 


214        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

Consequently  this  party,  which  is  so  powerful  in  Austria 
and  is  the  only  one  that  has  any  influence  besides  the 
Church  and  the  nobility,  was  estranged  from  him.  The 
Emperor,  on  the  other  hand,  was  a  thorough  soldier  and 
could  not  forgive  his  son  for  his  indifference  to  military 
matters.  Their  relations  with  one  another  constantly  grew 
more  and  more  strained ;  which,  of  course,  was  grist  to  the 
mill  of  Rudolf's  enemies. 

As  soon  as  the  Crown  Prince  was  allotted  his  own 
Court,  which  took  place  on  his  sixteenth  birthday,  when  he 
legally  came  of  age,  he  began  to  surround  himself  with 
people  who  did  not  belong  to  the  Imperial  Court  circle  — 
for  the  most  part  scholars  and  literary  men.  At  the  age 
of  twenty  he  had  estabhshed  a  small  society  about  himself, 
which  was  very  select  but  was  certainly  not  fashionable. 
Among  them,  to  the  horror  of  the  Court,  there  were  even 
journalists;  and,  worse  still,  they  were  mostly  of  the  Jew- 
ish persuasion !  This  was  intolerable,  and  must  be  put  an 
end  to. 

Attempts  were  made  to  entice  Rudolf  into  feminine  so- 
ciety. But,  if  one  may  say  so,  he  was  somewhat  undevel- 
oped on  the  sensual  side  and  took  no  particular  pleasure  in 
it.  Occasionally  he  noticed  himself  his  lack  of  enjoyment 
in  the  alluring  things  of  this  life,  and  then,  as  if  he  were 
ashamed  of  his  deficiency,  he  would  plunge  into  some  wild 
dissipation,  toward  which  he  felt  all  the  greater  repug- 
nance when  he  had  come  to  his  senses  again.  The  insti- 
gator of  these  orgies  was  Count  Charles  Bombelles.  This 
man,  a  son  of  the  Emperor  Francis- Joseph's  tutor  in  boy- 
hood, was  first  tutor  and  then  controller  of  the  household 
to  the  Crown  Prince  Rudolf.^     Bombelles  might  have  suc- 

1  It  was  his  uncle  Charles  Ren6,  Grand  Master  of  the  Court  to  Ferdinand 
I,  who  was  the  third  husband  of  the  Archduchess  Marie-Louise. 


MAYERLING  215 

ceeded  in  drawing  the  Prince  into  this  hfe  of  vice  had  not 
the  Empress  interfered  in  time  and  exhorted  the  Emperor 
incessantly  to  prevent  the  ruin  of  their  son. 

To  Francis-Joseph,  looking  on  Rudolf  in  more  ways 
than  one  as  an  unnatural  son,  there  only  appeared  one 
remedy  —  marriage.  If  my  mother's  advice  had  heen 
taken  and  Rudolf  had  been  sent  away  on  a  voyage  romid 
the  world,  his  own  wish  would  have  been  fulfilled  and 
everything  would  have  turned  out  differently.  But  the 
Emperor's  advisers,  his  chief  ministers,  and  his  confessor, 
Father  Laurenz  JMayer,  whose  influence  far  exceeded  the 
Empress's,  were  against  the  plan.  Was  not  the  Crown 
Prince  already  democratic  enough?  they  asked.  Were 
not  his  ideas  already  sufficiently  perverse  that  he  should  be 
sent  to  bring  home  still  madder  ones? 

And  so,  instead  of  taking  a  voyage  round  the  world,  he 
went  to  look  for  a  wife. 

Here  again  came  an  opportunity  for  fresh  intrigues. 
Among  the  few  eligible  princesses  of  the  day  the  two  best- 
looking  and  most  attractive,  the  Infanta  Maria- Anna  of 
Braganza,  later  Grand-Duchess  of  Luxemburg,  and  her 
sister  Marie-Antonia,  later  Duchess  of  Parma,  were  not 
considered.^  If  only  those  in  authority  had  consented  to 
wait  a  few  years  —  and  Rudolf  was  barely  twenty  —  he 
would  have  had  a  wider  and  better  field  for  choice,  and  he 
himself  would  have  been  maturer  and  more  capable  of  ap- 
preciating the  gravity  of  the  step  which  he  was  taking. 
As  it  was,  he  allowed  himself  to  be  misled  by  frivolous  ad- 
vice, especially  from  Count  Bombelles.     His  advisers  said 

1  They  were  daughters  of  Miguel  I,  King  of  Portugal.  Their  brother, 
Miguel  II,  the  Legitimist  claimant  to  the  former  kingdom  of  Portugal,  mar- 
ried the  Princess  Elizabeth  of  Thurn  and  Taxis  (since  dead),  daughter  of 
my  aunt  Hdlfene.  Marie-Antonia  is  the  mother  of  the  Archduchess  Zita,  the 
new  heir-presumptive's  wife. 


216        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

to  him  that  it  would  he  useless  to  wait  for  some  princess 
from  fairyland.  The  heir  to  a  throne  must  have  sober, 
common-sense  ideas  concerning  marriage.  As  he  would 
probably  never  fall  in  love  with  the  woman  he  would  be 
permitted  to  marry,  it  was  a  matter  of  indifference  upon 
whom  his  choice  fell.  So  the  poor,  inexperienced  Crown 
Prince,  still  himself  at  an  awkward  age  and  not  yet  very 
attractive  in  looks,  an  idealist  at  heart  but  profoundly  un- 
conscious of  his  own  idealism,  submitted  and  married 
Stephanie,  daughter  of  Leopold,  King  of  the  Belgians. 

The  selection  of  Princess  Stephanie  was  not  fortunate, 
as  she  shared  none  of  Rudolf's  interests.  She  cared  for 
nothing  but  dress  and  entertainments,  and  in  her  manner 
was  tactless  and  impatient. 

Following  mother's  advice,  Rudolf  at  first  took  pains 
and  did  his  best  to  bring  into  harmony  his  wife's  interests 
and  his  own.  The  eflPort  was  not  a  success.  The  youth- 
fulness  of  both  parties  was  the  chief  obstacle  to  their  hap- 
piness, mother  said.  She  herself,  who  from  the  beginning 
had  strongly  opposed  the  match,  tried  to  the  utmost  of  her 
power  to  bring  the  two  together.  But  Rudolf  was  far 
from  being  easy  to  guide,  and  in  the  first  year  of  the  mar- 
riage things  went  very  wrong  indeed. 

It  was  hoped  that  affairs  would  improve  upon  the  birth 
of  an  heir.  Unfortunately,  this  proved  a  delusion,  not 
merely  because  it  was  a  little  girl  that  was  born,  but  also 
because  the  doctors  now  announced  that  the  Crown  Prin- 
cess would  never  be  able  to  bear  another  child.  This  was 
not  merely  a  disappointment ;  it  was  the  total  ruin  of  the 
hopes  of  Rudolf  and  of  the  whole  Court  ahke. 

There  was  now  complete  coldness  between  the  two 
young  people.  They  might  simply  have  gone  their  own 
way  —  Rudolf  not  being  a  jealous  husband  —  had  not  his 


MAYERLING  217 

enemies  thought  the  time  opportmie  for  them  to  intervene. 
The  Crown  Prince  being  perfectly  indifferent,  they  must 
try  to  arouse  Stephanie's  jealousy.  She  would  never  have 
become  jealous  of  her  own  accord.  But  they  gradually  in- 
stilled into  her  mind  that  her  husband  was  occupied  with 
the  scheme  of  having  his  marriage  annulled,  in  order  to  be 
able  to  marry  someone  with  whom  he  was  in  love,  the 
Princess  Aglae  Auersperg.  There  would  be  nothing  to 
prevent  this  marriage,  were  Rudolf  free,  for  the  Princess 
belonged  to  one  of  the  mediatised  princely  families,  and 
therefore,  according  to  the  Austrian  idea,  was  eligible  to 
marry  even  a  Crown  Prince,  The  whole  story  was  an  in- 
vention, but  Stephanie  was  thrown  into  a  perfect  panic, 
and  became  an  easy  tool  in  the  hands  of  the  enemy. 
Agents  of  the  secret  police  were  placed  at  her  disposal, 
who  made  up  and  brought  to  her  the  most  harrowing 
stories  of  her  husband's  manner  of  hfe.  The  unhappy 
woman,  instead  of  enduring  in  silence  or  with  quiet  dignity 
asking  him  to  explain  himself,  overwhelmed  Rudolf  at 
once  with  reproaches  and  insults,  refusing  absolutely  to 
beheve  his  categoric  denials. 

Terrible  scenes  now  took  place,  which  would  have  been 
unworthy  of  a  washerwoman  and  a  stableman.  The 
scandal  reached  the  ears  of  the  public.  The  Crown 
Princess  herself  helped  not  a  little  to  spread  it  about  by 
speaking  of  her  wretchedness  to  everyone  who  had  the  pa- 
tience to  listen  to  her. 

In  reality  Rudolf,  not  having  a  very  strong  constitution, 
was  obliged  to  avoid  a  life  of  dissipation  and  to  dwell  in 
comparative  retirement.  Political  matters  occupied  his 
attention  more  and  more,  especially  those  concerning  the 
spread  of  liberal  ideas.  Many  a  night  which  Stephanie 
was  induced  to  believe  spent  in  wild  orgies,  was  spent  in 


218        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

secret  meetings  with  men  of  like  views  to  his  own.  It  is 
probable  that  had  he  found  peace  and  quiet  in  his  married 
life,  he  would  not  have  been  so  ready  to  pass  his  time  thus. 
As  it  was,  he  used  politics  not  only  to  gratify  his  personal 
leanings,  but  also  to  escape  from  his  home  and  the  trouble- 
some thoughts  aroused  there. 

In  order  to  be  able  to  lead  a  life  free  from  disturbance, 
he  resolved  to  buy  an  estate  in  the  neighbourhood  of  Vi- 
enna. Up  to  now  he  had  resided,  when  not  at  the  Hof- 
burg  itself,  at  the  castle  of  Laxenburg,  which  was  not  far 
away.  It  was  necessary  that  his  new  place  also  should  be 
near  the  capital,  and  he  decided  on  the  hunting-box  of 
Mayerling.  So  cunningly  had  his  enemies  woven  their  in- 
trigues that  he  remained  totally  unsuspicious  that  his 
choice  had  been  influenced  by  them.  Mayerling  was  all 
but  next  door  to  the  Cistercian  monastery  of  the  Holy 
Cross  (Heiligenkreuz) .  The  estate  being  really  too  small 
for  purposes  of  hunting,  the  amiable  monks  offered  a  lease 
of  their  grounds  in  case  his  Imperial  Highness  should 
make  up  his  mind  to  purchase  Mayerhng.  As  this  had 
been  the  only  objection  to  the  estate,  that  it  was  not  ex- 
tensive enough,  the  unsuspecting  Prince  accepted  their  of- 
fer and  bought  Mayerling.  The  result  was  that  he,  who 
thought  himself  at  length  alone  and  undisturbed,  was  un- 
der closer  observation  than  before. 

The  man  who  acted  as  intermediary  between  the  Crown 
Prince  and  the  monks  was  the  police  commissioner,  Jo- 
hann  Habrda,  the  guardian  of  the  personal  safety  of  the 
former.  Habrda  owed  what  advancement  had  been  his  so 
far,  to  the  abbot  of  the  monastery  Father  Griinbeck,  to 
whom  he  naturally  felt  under  an  obligation. 

Rudolf's  political  activities  were  of  too  mild  a  nature  to 
furnish  his  enemies  with  material  for  a  scandal ;  and,  more- 


MAYERLING  219 

over,  as  his  sympathies  were  all  in  favour  of  liberty,  an  at- 
tack on  him  for  this  would  only  have  increased  his  popu- 
larity. On  the  other  hand,  they  had  so  far  completely 
failed  to  demonstrate  to  the  pubHc  satisfaction  that  he  was 
a  dissipated  character.  And,  to  make  matters  worse,  there 
were  serious  scandals  connected  with  the  sons  of  the  Arch- 
duke Karl-Ludwig,  Franz-Ferdinand  and  still  more  Otto. 
The  misdeeds  of  the  latter  have  so  often  been  enumerated 
in  the  Press  and  in  books  that  I  am  glad  to  say  I  can  ab- 
stain from  mentioning  any  of  them  here.  They  are  so  re- 
pulsive that  those  who  have  never  heard  of  them  may  con- 
gratulate themselves.  I  have  only  alluded  to  them  in  this 
vague  way  to  point  out  that  if  people  in  Court  circles  be- 
have scandalously  there  is  no  necessity  for  a  campaign  to 
spread  the  unsavoury  stories.  They  make  their  way 
abroad,  and  do  not  remain,  as  in  my  brother  Rudolf's  case, 
mere  idle  gossip  of  the  Court.  Of  the  things  done  by  the 
Archduke  Karl-Ludwig's  sons  there  were  many  eye-wit- 
nesses among  the  people,  both  middle  and  lower  classes. 
Can  anyone  say  the  same  about  Rudolf? 

The  efforts  to  compromise  the  Crown  Prince  over  his 
disagreements  with  his  wife  failed  entirely,  and  the  blame 
seemed  always  to  fall  upon  the  unhappy  Stephanie. 
Years  passed,  and  no  opportunity  offered  itself  to  damage 
him. 

But  Rudolf  had  never  yet  loved  passionately,  and  it  was 
the  awakening  of  passion  which  put  his  ruin  within  his 
enemies'  hands.  He  fell  in  love  at  last  —  and  fell  very 
deeply. 

The  utter  baseness  and  unscrupulousness  of  the  plotters, 
my  mother  said,  was  in  no  way  more  revealed  than  that 
they  employed  the  innocence  of  a  young  girl,  who  knew 
nothing  of  the  scheme,  to  bring  about  their  ends.     It  was 


220        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

enough  for  them  that  they  found  a  convenient,  unsuspect- 
ing tool.     What  mattered  it  if  she  too  were  ruined? 

The  Baroness  Marie  Vetsera's  unusual  beauty  is  a  mat- 
ter of  common  knowledge.  Her  mother  was  by  birth  a 
Baltazzi,  daughter  of  a  wealthy  financier  from  the  Near 
East.  She  had  married  an  Austrian  baron,  by  whom  she 
was  left  a  widow  with  four  children.  Her  reputation  in 
Vienna  was  certainly  not  very  good,  but  in  consequence  of 
the  great  state  which  she  kept  she  was  at  least  tolerated  in 
Court  society.  Her  frivolous  character  was  a  very  useful 
circumstance  to  the  conspirators,  for  in  consequence  of  it 
she  lent  herself  willingly  to  suggestions  of  a  noble  love  af- 
fair for  her  daughter. 

I  never  heard  from  my  mother  how  the  Crown  Prince 
became  acquainted  with  Marie  Vetsera,  and  doubtless  she 
did  not  herself  know.  Recently,  however,  the  missing  link 
in  the  chain  seems  to  have  been  supplied.  The  Countess 
Larisch,^  in  her  book  published  in  London  last  year,  fur- 
nishes an  explanation.  It  is  true  that  she  says  that  Marie 
Vetsera  first  wrote  to  my  brother,  and  that  he  consented  to 
her  offer  of  friendship.  Now  it  is  impossible  that  a  letter 
addressed  by  her  directly  to  him  could  have  reached  his 
hands  unseen.  And  what  intermediary  could  she  have  em- 
ployed between  herself  and  the  Crown  Prince  —  except 
one?  Either  as  a  practical  joke  or  as  a  piece  of  good-na- 
ture, the  undertaking  of  such  a  commission  will  probably 
seem  to  most  people  as  going  a  little  too  far.  And  with 
regard  to  good-nature,  the  Countess  makes  little  attempt 
in  her  book  to  conceal  that  she  hated  both  my  mother  (who 
had  made  a  great  favourite  of  her  in  childhood)  and 
the  Crown  Princess  Stephanie.     Good-nature,  therefore, 

1  Daughter  by  a  morganatic  marriage  of  Ludwigs  eldest  son  of  Maximilian, 
Duke  in  Bavaria.     (See  p.  29,  footnote.) 


MAYERLING  221 

seems  an  inadequate  theory  to  explain  the  assistance  which 
she  gave,  on  her  own  showing,  to  bring  about  numerous 
interviews  between  Rudolf  and  Marie  Vetsera.  More 
than  this  I  need  not  perhaps  say.  After  all,  the  ques- 
tion is  not  one  of  great  importance.  Fate  surely  decides 
such  matters,  whatever  the  nature  of  the  instruments  it 
uses. 

Rudolf  was  a  lonely,  unloved  man,  who  in  the  course  of 
time  felt  the  necessity  of  finding  some  object  of  his  affec- 
tions. The  strange  thing  was  that  what  happened  came 
about  so  much  later  than  had  been  expected. 

His  enemies  lay  carefully  in  wait.  Not  until  the  passion 
had  broken  into  a  blaze  did  they  begin  to  fan  the  flames. 
His  jealousy  must  now  be  stirred.  The  Archduke  Otto 
and  the  Duke  of  Braganza  vied  with  one  another  in  pay- 
ing attentions  to  Marie  Vetsera,  who  was  regularly  be- 
sieged by  admirers.  Rudolf,  as  a  matter  of  course,  did 
not  wish  to  be  the  last. 

Every  detail  was  faithfully  reported  to  the  Crown 
Princess  Stephanie  by  those  who  were  so  glad  to  have 
found  at  last  some  material  for  their  purposes.  Stephanie 
on  her  part  was  not  content  with  reproaching  and  abus- 
ing her  husband,  but  in  his  presence  expressed  herself  in 
an  abominably  provocative  fashion  regarding  the  woman 
he  loved,  designating  her  in  terms  which  would  never,  even, 
have  been  expected  in  the  mouths  of  women  much  lower  in 
the  social  scale  than  herself.  Nor  did  she  attempt  to  con- 
trol herself  in  the  least  when  others  were  present. 

The  indifference  which  Rudolf  had  felt  for  his  wife  up 
to  now  turned  to  hate  and  loathing.  His  situation  was  all 
the  more  intolerable  because  for  the  first  time  he  felt  really 
to  blame  and  did  not  quite  know  how  to  defend  himself. 

The  result  would  have  been  the  same  in  any  case.     A 


222        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

complete  breach  was  now  made.  Rudolf  refused  to  live 
any  longer  with  Stephanie,  and  forbade  her  to  set  foot  in 
Mayerling.  His  meetings  with  Marie  Vetsera  were  all 
the  more  frequent. 

My  mother  only  heard  little  by  little  what  was  going 
on.  She  was  really  powerless.  On  the  one  hand,  she 
could  not  possibly  approve  of  her  son's  behaviour;  on  the 
other,  she  felt  the  deepest  sympathy  with  him.  She  would 
have  dearly  loved  him  to  give  her  his  full  confidence,  but 
this,  of  course,  was  impossible  —  it  was  against  the  ideas 
of  the  day,  and  she  was  an  Empress,  and  above  all  the 
Empress  of  Austria.  The  curse  of  the  Spanish  etiquette 
again  came  into  play.  Down  to  his  twelfth  year  Rudolf 
had  been  brought  up  away  from  her.  Till  then  she  was  a 
stranger  to  him.  Not  until  after  the  death  of  his  grand- 
mother, the  Archduchess  Sophia,  did  she  exert  any  influ- 
ence over  his  character.  And  even  then  the  strict  rules 
of  etiquette  made  a  dividing  gulf  between  mother  and  son 
which  could  never  be  bridged. 

Furthermore,  mother  had  suffered  too  much  at  the  hands 
of  her  own  mother-in-law  to  be  quite  devoid  of  sympathy 
with  Stephanie.  Her  own  docility  and  her  tactful  be- 
haviour toward  the  Emperor,  which  was  in  such  striking 
contrast  to  Stephanie's  conduct  toward  the  Crown  Prince, 
had  availed  her  nothing ;  but  her  failure  had  made  her  un- 
derstand only  too  well  the  difficulties  of  the  position.  Her 
powerlessness,  in  spite  of  her  comprehension,  made  her  all 
the  more  unhappy. 

In  the  meanwhile  the  relations  between  the  Emperor 
and  his  son  had  not  improved.  The  former  had  received 
hints  about  the  political  activities  of  the  latter,  and,  an- 
gered at  the  new  proofs  of  his  son's  apostasy,  he  forbade 
him  to  associate  with  a  number  of  learned  men  whom  he 


MAYERLING  223 

had  made  his  friends.  Among  them  was  the  famous  and 
universally  esteemed  naturalist,  Brehm.  As  might  be 
imagined,  such  a  step  did  not  tend  to  calm  Rudolf's  excited 
nerves.  He  withdrew  more  and  more  from  the  life  of  the 
Court.  And  now  Marie  Vetsera  found  that  she  was  about 
to  become  a  mother. 

Poor  Rudolf!  He  was  very  fond  of  children,  and 
deeply  attached  to  his  little  Ersie.  According  to  my 
mother,  Ersie  was  a  good  little  girl,  though  neither  very 
talented  nor  even  intelligent.  As  she  grew  older  she  was 
terribly  spoilt.  Rudolf  always  lavished  affection  upon 
her.  Many  of  the  pranks  which  he  played  with  her 
reached  the  ears  of  the  public.  It  was  always  he  who,  to 
the  last  year  of  his  life,  disguised  himself  each  December 
6th  as  St.  Nicholas  to  amuse  her.  It  was  only  when  the 
saint  reproved  her  for  having  lately  acquired  the  habit  of 
throwing  her  hat  and  gloves  out  of  the  carriage-window, 
for  fun,  that  she  recognised  him.  He  was  very  unhappy 
at  the  idea  that  he  would  never  have  another  child.  And 
now  he  was  suddenly  convinced,  for  some  reason,  that 
Marie  was  going  to  bear  him  a  son.  At  the  idea  he  was 
transported  with  joy,  and  totally  new  thoughts  entered 
his  head. 

Hungary  was  under  the  Salic  law,  which  allows  divorce 
to  the  sovereign  and  entitles  the  children  of  any  wife  le- 
gally married  to  him  to  ascend  the  throne.  The  Crown 
Prince  was,  if  possible,  even  more  popular  in  Hungary 
than  in  Austria.  He  could  attain  what  he  wished  there; 
Marie  could  become  his  wife  and  could  wear  the  Imperial 
crown. 

But  this  was  only  to  be  his  last  resource.  Before  he  took 
so  extreme  a  step  he  intended,  for  his  father's  sake,  to  try 
to  have  his  marriage  annulled  by  the  Church.     Being,  as  I 


224        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

have  said,  on  the  worst  possible  footing  with  the  priesthood, 
he  required  some  friend  who  would  act  as  mediator. 

And  now  he  committed  an  error  which  was  destined  to 
complete  his  ruin.  He  confided  entirely  in  his  brother-in- 
law,  Duke  Philip  of  Coburg — "  that  idiot,"  as  my  mother 
scornfully  called  him.  Philip  of  Coburg  was  married  to 
Stephanie's  sister,  the  much  discussed  and  slandered 
Princess  Louise  of  Belgium,  and  was  no  happier  in  his 
marriage  than  Rudolf.  It  must  have  been  this  circum- 
stance which  drew  the  two  luckless  husbands  together, 
for  otherwise  they  had  no  interest  in  common.  Philip  was 
depraved  and  brutal,  and  really  was  singularly  lacking  in 
mind.  Fully  convinced  that  he  was  doing  Rudolf  a  fa- 
vour, the  Duke  communicated  all  that  he  told  him  to  the 
Archduke  Franz-Ferdinand,  with  whom  he  was  on  very 
friendly  terms,  and  whom  he  knew  to  be  an  ally  of  the 
Church. 

Now  at  last  the  moment  had  arrived  so  long  wished  for 
by  the  Crown  Prince's  enemies.  Franz-Ferdinand  ad- 
vised recourse  to  a  priest  named  Gottfried  Marschall,  for- 
merly his  own  tutor.  Marschall  was  complaisant  and  in- 
sinuating in  his  manners,  and  was  able,  by  an  appearance 
of  bonhomie,,  to  gain  Rudolf's  confidence.  He  seemed  to 
enter  entirely  into  the  latter's  plans,  and  even  advised  him 
that,  to  avoid  the  possibility  of  interference,  he  had  better 
send  a  letter  direct  to  the  Pope  himself  instead  of  employ- 
ing an  agent.  In  this  letter  he  was  to  ask  His  Holiness  to 
aid  him  to  the  extent  of  annulling  his  marriage. 

Rudolf  must  assuredly  have  been  blinded  by  his  passion, 
for  how  else  could  he  have  believed  so  readily  in  the  broad- 
mindedness  of  the  priest? 

"  Those  abominable  traitors!"  cried  my  mother,  when 
she  had  reached  this  point  in  the  story,  "  they  had  calcu- 


MAYERLING  225 

lated  everything.  He  must  die,  because  his  life  was  a 
source  of  constant  danger  to  them." 

Her  mingled  agony  and  righteous  wrath  made  it  hard 
for  her  to  continue,  but  at  last  she  proceeded. 

Pope  Leo  XIII  did  not  condescend  to  answer  the  let- 
ter. There  is  no  need  to  point  out  what  an  insult  lay  in 
this  alone ;  but  that  was  not  all.  He  sent  the  letter  to  the 
Emperor  through  the  Nuncio  then  accredited  to  the  Court 
of  Vienna,  Monsignor  Gahmberti. 

On  January  28,  1889,  about  three  o'clock  in  the  after- 
noon, the  Emperor  sent  a  message  to  my  mother  request- 
ing her  to  come  to  his  apartments.  They  were  residing, 
as  usual  in  the  winter,  at  the  Hofburg.  To  her  astonish- 
ment, on  entering  the  Emperor's  study  she  found  the 
Nuncio  in  his  company  —  a  very  unusual  occurrence.  In 
a  few  words  everything  was  explained  to  her.  She  pro- 
tested indignantly,  it  is  true,  that  even  if  her  son  had  done 
wrong,  he  was  being  treated  in  an  unheard-of  fashion. 
But  the  Emperor  stopped  her  with  a  gesture,  and  said  that 
this  was  for  him  alone  to  judge.  She  had  been  asked  to 
come  merely  that  she  might  be  present  at  an  interview  with 
the  Crown  Prince,  who  had  been  summoned  and  was  ex- 
pected every  minute. 

It  was  about  half-past  four  when  Rudolf  was  an- 
nounced. Poor  mother  I  She  had  not  even  a  chance  of 
giving  him  the  slightest  warning.  As  she  told  this,  in  sen- 
tences cut  short  by  dry,  suffocating  sobs,  the  scene  seemed 
to  rise  vividly  up  before  my  eyes. 

"  And  to  think  that  it  was  thus  I  was  to  see  him  for 
the  last  time!  "  she  cried.  Words  of  comfort  would  have 
been  a  profanation  to  such  grief,  so  I  waited  for  her  to  go 
on. 

To  judge  by  his  troubled  expression  as  he  entered  the 


226        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

room,  Rudolf  must  have  known  already  that  something 
was  wrong.  The  Emperor,  however,  left  him  little  time 
to  think  about  it.  Without  any  introductory  words  he  al- 
most threw  in  his  face  the  letter  to  the  Pope,  and  de- 
manded from  him,  in  ill-controlled  anger,  whether  he  had 
taken  leave  of  his  senses  to  expose  himself  so  and  bring 
shame  upon  his  whole  family. 

For  an  instant  the  Crown  Prince  stood  speechless. 
Then  suddenly,  looking  the  Nuncio  contemptuously  from 
head  to  f oot^  he  said  with  the  utmost  bitterness :  "  I 
ought  to  have  known  what  kind  of  help  was  to  be  expected 
from  you!  Baseness  and  meanness  can  always  be  looked 
for  there ! " 

Turning  to  his  father,  he  reproached  him  for  placing 
him  in  so  ridiculous  a  position,  for  treating  him  like  a  mere 
schoolboy.  But  as  he  had  been  challenged,  he  added,  he 
would  state  unreservedly  what  he  would  otherwise  have 
tried  to  explain  with  more  circumspection. 

Truly  he  did  not  mince  matters.  It  was  the  fault  of  his 
father  and  his  father's  advisers  that  he  had  been  made  un- 
happy. They  had  all  desired  his  ruin,  or  else  they  would 
not  have  given  him  such  a  wife  as  her  to  whom  he  was  now 
to  be  chained  all  his  life. 

Fearing  that  his  excitement  would  carry  him  too  far, 
mother  went  up  to  him  and  gently  caught  hold  of  his 
hands.  But  Rudolf  only  became  the  more  passionate, 
and,  after  pressing  his  burning  lips  to  her  hands,  he 
begged  her  not  to  take  the  side  of  the  others,  when  she 
did  not  at  all  think  with  them. 

The  Emperor  grew  anxious  at  the  effect  of  this  upon 
her,  and  impatiently  broke  in.  "  Do  not  speak  like  that," 
he  commanded,  "  nor  try  to  make  us  believe  you  want  your 
marriage  annulled  merely  because  you  are  unhappy  with 


MAYERLING  227 

your  wife.  It  is  a  disgrace  for  a  young  man  like  you  not 
to  maintain  appearances  better." 

Rudolf  must  certainly  have  lost  his  head  altogether  to 
dare  to  answer  as  he  did  his  father  and  his  Emperor.  He 
told  him  that  he  had  no  right  to  speak  to  him  in  that  fash- 
ion. Stephanie  was  both  stupid  and  ugly,  and  he  had 
been  forced  to  take  her,  while  his  father  had  married,  of 
his  own  free  choice,  an  intelhgent  and  beautiful  woman, 
with  the  result  —  but  I  need  not  here  repeat  what  Rudolf 
in  his  fury  said. 

Things  were  not  taking  the  course  desired  by  the  Nun- 
cio. It  might  be  expected  that  the  next  minute  the  Crown 
Prince  would  be  ordered  out  of  the  room,  before  he  him- 
self had  had  the  chance  of  saying  a  word.  He  therefore 
had  recourse  to  his  dignity  as  a  prince  of  the  Church  to 
come  forward  as  a  peacemaker,  and  to  take  the  liberty 
of  speaking  uninvited.  Suavely  he  called  the  Crown 
Prince's  attention  to  the  fact  that  it  was  not  worth  while 
to  quarrel  with  his  family  for  the  sake  of  some  woman. 

At  these  coolly  uttered  words  Rudolf  turned  deadly 
pale.  With  an  unnatural  calmness  he  strode  up  to  the 
priest,  halted  in  front  of  him  so  close  that  their  faces  al- 
most touched,  and,  emphasising  each  separate  word,  he 
gasped  out :     "  Whom  —  do  —  you  —  mean  ?  " 

"  Your  Imperial  Highness  knows  very  well  of  whom  we 
are  speaking." 

"  Then,"  shouted  Rudolf,  "  will  you  dare  repeat  that 
again? " 

"  Why  not?  I  repeat  only  what  the  birds  on  the  house- 
tops are  already  chirping  to  one  another,  that  the  Crown 
Prince,  for  the  sake  of  some  worthless  person  — " 

The  Nuncio  got  no  further,  for  two  resounding  boxes  on 
the  ear  from  the  Crown  Prince  put  an  end  to  his  speech. 


228        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

accompanied  by   the  words,    "  Wait,   you  priest ! 

Once  for  all,  I'll  make  you  pay  for  this!  " 

The  Emperor  up  to  now  had  kept  calm  only  by  the  ex- 
ertion of  all  his  will.  He  now  saw  that  there  was  nothing 
to  be  done  for  the  moment,  and  ordered  Rudolf  to  retire, 
asking  him  to  give  his  word  that  he  would  not  see  JNIarie 
Vetsera  again  before  he  had  had  a  quiet  discussion  with 
him. 

My  mother  would  have  detained  him,  so  that  father  and 
son  might  not  part  in  such  anger.  But  the  Emperor  si- 
lenced her,  and  Rudolf  left  the  room  unreconciled.  He 
went  off  at  once  to  Mayerling,  where  he  shut  himself  up  in 
his  private  apartments,  although  Duke  Philip  of  Coburg 
and  the  Duke  of  Braganza  were  on  a  visit  there.  Losch- 
eggy  his  valet,  heard  him  walking  up  and  down  restlessly 
nearly  all  the  night,  as  he,  Loschegg,  afterwards  told  my 
mother. 

It  was  from  Loschegg  and  from  Bratfisch  the  coachman 
that  mother  heard,  after  the  catastrophe,  most  of  the  de- 
tails of  what  had  taken  place.  Loschegg  was  a  friend  of 
Bratfisch,  and  therefore  confided  to  him  early  next  morn- 
ing that  their  master  must  have  met  with  some  serious 
trouble,  since  he  had  apparently  not  closed  his  eyes  all 
night.  Now  Bratfisch  filled  a  very  exceptional  position  in 
the  Crown  Prince's  service,  somewhat  like  that  of  a  court 
jester  in  times  of  old.  Rudolf  talked  over  everything  with 
him,  and  put  great  trust  in  him.  When,  therefore,  the 
coachman  asked  to  be  admitted  he  was  at  once  brought 
into  his  presence. 

Rudolf  told  Bratfisch  about  the  events  of  the  previous 
day  and  then  gave  him  a  letter,  which  he  was  to  deliver 
personally  to  the  Baroness  Marie  Vetsera  in  Vienna.     In 


MAYERLING  229 

this  letter  he  begged  her  not  to  be  anxious  if  she  did  not 
see  him  for  a  few  days,  and  promised  he  would  keep  her 
informed  by  letter. 

When  Bratfisch  reached  the  Vetseras'  house  in  the  Sal- 
esianergasse  he  was  surprised  to  find  that  apparently  the 
Baroness  Marie  was  expecting  him.  He  gave  her  the 
letter  and  asked  for  an  answer.  She  informed  him,  how- 
ever, that  she  was  going  back  with  him  at  once  to  Mayer- 
ling,  and  asked  him  to  drive  off  to  the  Ringstrasse,  so  that 
she  might  not  be  seen  from  her  home  going  away  with  him. 
Bratfisch  did  not  fail  to  notice  the  girl's  tear-stained  eyes, 
and  conjectured  that,  having  already  had  news  of  the 
events  at  the  Hofburg,  and  fearing  the  Crown  Prince's 
eventual  submission  to  his  father's  will,  she  wanted  to  be  at 
his  side  at  once.  Being  an  unceremonious,  queer  fellow, 
he  did  not  hesitate  to  beg  her  not  to  try  to  force  matters, 
but  to  listen  to  His  Imperial  Highness's  instructions,  as- 
suring her  the  latter  was  more  than  ever  determined  to 
stand  by  her.  But  she  shook  her  head,  and,  with  her  tears 
welling  up  again,  declared  that  she  must  go  back  with  him 
at  once,  for  if  she  hesitated  only  twenty-four  hours  she 
would  be  forced  to  marry  another  man.  And  she  went  on 
to  tell  him  —  she  too  looking  on  him  as  a  friend  rather  than 
a  servant  —  that  the  previous  evening  the  Nuncio's  secre- 
tary had  come  to  her  mother,  with  the  Emperor's  confes- 
sor. Father  Laurenz  Mayer,  to  tell  her  that  the  Emperor 
knew  of  the  Crown  Prince's  affection  and  plans  for  her 
daughter,  and  had  ordered  that  she  was  to  be  married  to 
someone  else  —  a  certain  nobleman  —  within  twenty-four 
hours. 

It  was  probably  the  Emperor's  intention  thus  to  put  an 
end,  once  for  all,  to  this  love  affair.     But,  said  my  mother. 


230        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

the  schemes  of  the  conspirators  against  Rudolf  here  were 
quite  different  from  the  Emperor's.  It  was  not  to  their 
interest  to  bring  matters  to  such  a  conclusion.  Otherwise 
Marie  Vetsera  would  never  have  succeeded  in  getting  away 
unchecked  as  she  did. 

When  she  reached  Mayerling,  Rudolf  could  not  believe 
his  eyes,  and  his  anger  was  unbounded  when  he  heard  what 
a  trick  was  to  have  been  played  upon  him. 

Commissioner  Habrda  had  arranged  to  report  at  the 
Holy  Cross  monastery  all  events  that  took  place  at  the 
hunting-lodge.  It  was  Loschegg  and  Bratfisch  who  told 
my  mother,  later  on,  how  they  had  discovered  that  Habrda, 
having  the  Crown  Prince  under  observation  constantly 
during  the  past  year,  had  reported  regularly  at  Mayerling 
to  the  Abbot  Griinbeck,  or  in  Vienna  to  Gottfried  ]Mar- 
schall.  Scarcely  therefore  had  Marie  Vetsera  reached  the 
hunting-lodge  when  the  news  was  taken  to  the  monastery, 
and  from  there  transmitted  at  once  to  Vienna. 

In  the  course  of  the  morning  one  of  the  most  esteemed 
journalists  in  Vienna,  Edgard  von  Spiegel,  had  been  re- 
ceived by  the  Crown  Prince,  and  this  too,  of  course,  was 
reported. 

The  Nimcio  in  Vienna  is  not  only  the  accredited  repre- 
sentative of  the  Pope  at  the  Court,  but  also  the  highest 
spiritual  authority  for  the  Imperial  family.  In  the  lat- 
ter capacity  Galimberti  thought  it  his  duty  to  inform  the 
Emperor  of  what  was  going  on  at  Mayerling.  But  he 
represented  the  Crown  Prince's  conduct  as  if  he  had  in- 
tentionally disobeyed  his  father's  command  and  sent  Brat- 
fisch to  fetch  Marie  Vetsera  to  Mayerling.  Then,  choos- 
ing his  time  well,  he  told  the  Emperor  that  the  secret 
pohce  had  discovered  that  for  a  long  time  past  the  Crown 
Prince  had  been  conspiring  with  Hungary  against  both 


Emperor  Francis- Joseph 


Crown  Prince  Rudolf  and  his  Fiancee 
Princess  Stephanie  of  Belgium 


Crotoii  Prince  Rudolf 


MAYERLING  231 

Church  and  State,  and  had  the  intention  of  flying  to  that 
country  with  Marie  Vetsera,  whom  he  would  doubtless 
marry  there. 

These  last  details,  as  well  as  what  follows  next,  my 
mother  heard  from  Prince  Rudolf  Liechtenstein,  Grand 
Master  of  the  Horse  to  the  Emperor,  and  one  of  her  most 
devoted  friends. 

After  what  the  N^uncio  told  him,  the  Emperor  sent 
Prince  Liechtenstein  to  summon  Baron  Bolfrass,  head  of 
the  military  department  of  the  government.  To  Bolfrass 
he  gave  orders  to  take  a  detachment  of  soldiers  and  go  to 
Mayerling,  where,  in  the  name  of  His  Imperial  Majesty, 
as  well  as  on  behalf  of  the  relatives  of  the  Baroness  Marie 
Vetsera,  he  was  to  demand  her  surrender  by  the  Crown 
Prince.  In  case  of  resistance,  the  latter  was  to  be  ar- 
rested with  all  due  form  and  consideration  for  his  exalted 
rank.  The  hunting-lodge  was  to  be  surrounded  by  a  mili- 
tary cordon  and  then  tp  be  searched.  All  this  should,  if 
possible,  take  place  at  night,  so  as  to  attract  less  attention. 

Prince  Liechtenstein  hastened  at  once  to  my  mother  to 
inform  her  of  her  son's  danger.  Instantly  she  in  her  turn 
hurried  to  the  Emperor.  She  found  him  in  a  state  of 
speechless  fury.  It  was  in  his  nature  to  be  able  to  control 
himself  for  a  long  time,  but  when  his  anger  did  break  out 
it  took  him  long  to  subdue  it  again. 

Mother  insisted  that  the  aim  of  all  these  machinations 
against  her  son  was  his  destruction ;  it  was  this  his  enemies 
desired.  But  the  Emperor  would  not  hear  of  it,  and  re- 
fused to  yield.  The  evidence  produced  by  her  he  con- 
sidered ridiculous  and  incredible.  He  asked  her  whether 
she  had  already  forgotten  Rudolf's  behaviour  on  the  pre- 
vious day,  and  whether,  after  that,  she  wished  to  persuade 
him  that  there  was  a  plot  against  the  Crown  Prince.     On 


232        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

the  contrary,  it  was  he  who  was  plotting  —  plotting  high 
treason  and  the  dishonour  of  his  house. 

"  And  it  is  you,"  cried  mother  in  despair,  "  who  will  bear 
the  blame  of  his  death." 

"Better  death  than  dishonour!"  replied  the  Emperor 
grimly,  little  thinking  what  terrible  words  he  was  utter- 
ing. 

Mother  was  about  to  hasten  away,  horror-stricken,  but 
the  Emperor^  either  repenting  of  his  violence  or  unwilling 
to  give  her  a  chance  of  informing  Rudolf,  took  her  by  the 
hand  and  attempted  to  calm  her.  The  case  was  not  so 
tragic  as  she  tried  to  make  out,  he  said.  This  would 
merely  be  a  good  lesson,  such  as  Rudolf  required,  and  one 
that  he  would  remember. 

So  an  hour  passed  by,  and  with  it  all  possibility  of 
mother  doing  anything  for  Rudolf. 

At  Mayerling,  Marie  Vetsera  had  spent  the  whole  even- 
ing alone  in  the  Crown  Prince's  study,  which  he  had  placed 
at  her  disposal,  while  he,  to  avoid  comment,  passed  the 
time  until  midnight  with  his  friends  in  the  dining-room. 
The  visitors  all  declared  afterwards  that  they  had  known 
nothing  of  the  Baroness  Vetsera's  presence  in  the  house; 
and  the  equerries  on  duty  with  the  Crown  Prince,  Counts 
Hoyos  and  Bombelles,  said  the  same.  At  all  events,  they 
all  thought  it  wise  to  pretend  to  have  known  nothing. 

They  went  to  bed  comparatively  early,  as  they  ^  ere  to 
be  up  betimes  the  next  day  for  hunting.  Rudolf  dia  not 
intend  to  accompany  them;  he  dared  not  leave  Marie  for 
a  moment  without  the  protection  of  his  presence.  But,  of 
course,  he  did  not  say  a  word  about  this  to  the  others. 
Whether  he  really  had  the  plan  in  his  head  of  an  escape  to 
Hungary  is  unknown.  It  is  not  improbable,  however,  for 
he  had  had  this  solution  of  his  difficulties  in  view  for  long. 


MAYERLING  233 

According  to  Loschegg's  account,  about  one  o'clock 
everything  was  silent  in  the  place.  His  own  room  was  in 
the  private  suite  of  the  Crown  Prince,  quite  close  to  the 
latter's  bedroom.  He  had  scarcely  got  off  to  sleep  when 
he  was  awakened  by  a  knock  at  the  entrance  door  to  the 
private  apartments.  He  sprang  out  of  bed  to  call  his 
master.  But  the  Prince,  having  been  in  a  state  of  feverish 
excitement  all  day,  had  been  lying  awake  and  was  already 
up.  Swiftly  telling  Marie  to  conceal  herself  and  taking 
his  revolver,  he  went  to  the  door  of  the  ante-room,  but  he 
did  not  open  it.  Who  was  there,  he  asked.  A  messenger 
from  His  Imperial  Majesty,  was  the  answer.  Baron  Bol- 
frass.  Rudolf  declined  to  receive  him  at  that  hour,  and 
asked  him  to  return  in  the  morning. 

Baron  Bolfrass  persisted  in  his  demand  for  admission. 
The  Prince  again  declared  that  it  was  impossible.  Bol- 
frass grew  more  and  more  urgent,  and  said  that  he  would 
be  obliged  to  force  an  entrance.  Understanding  the  dan- 
ger to  which  he  was  exposing  himself  if  he  still  refused, 
Rudolf  hastily  assured  himself  that  Marie  was  in  safe  hid- 
ing, and  then  let  Bolfrass  in. 

So  far  Loschegg  had  been  at  his  master's  side.  Now  he 
was  compelled  to  withdraw,  but  he  remained  hstening  at 
the  door  and  overheard  almost  everything. 

Bolfrass  demanded  Marie  Vetsera's  surrender.  Rudolf 
obstinately  refused  it.  For  a  time  they  parleyed.  Then 
Loschegg  heard  the  Baron  raise  his  voice,  up  to  now  quite 
low,  and  say:  "  In  that  case,  I  am  compelled  to  have  the 
house  searched  and  to  arrest  your  Imperial  Highness  in 
the  name  of  His  Majesty!  " 

There  was  silence  for  a  few  minutes,  then  steps  were 
audible  outside,  and  Loschegg  heard  his  master  cry: 
"  The  first  man  who  dares  enter  I  shall  shoot  down! " 


234        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

Upon  this,  without  waiting  a  moment,  Loschegg  rushed 
into  the  room.  But  already  a  shot  rang  out  from  the 
Crown  Prince's  revolver,  and  a  man  fell  —  a  gamekeeper. 
There  was  no  time  for  reflection  now;  the  room  was  full 
of  people,  who  could  scarcely  be  distinguished  in  the  dim 
light.  Other  shots  were  fired.  The  Crown  Prince  fell, 
was  beaten,  trampled  upon,  and  disfigured  beyond  recogni- 
tion. Marie  Vetsera,  who,  regardless  of  her  own  safety, 
had  probably  rushed  in  at  the  beginning,  also  fell,  with  a 
shot  in  her  back. 

Who  was  the  guilty  party  ?  Who  fired  the  fatal  shots  ? 
It  would  be  impossible  to  say.  Certainly  there  was  not 
one,  but  several  criminals.  And  were  they  not,  after  all, 
mere  tools  in  the  hands  of  an  infamous  gang? 

Bratfisch  noticed,  looking  out  of  a  window  casually  a 
short  time  afterwards,  that  the  lodge  was  surrounded  by 
soldiers.  He  said  also  that  the  Duke  of  Coburg  called 
together  all  the  servants  and  employees  at  Mayerling,  and 
made  them  all  swear  upon  their  word  of  honour  to  keep 
silence. 

Almost  immediately  Habrda  turned  Loschegg  and 
Bratfisch  out  of  the  private  apartments.  He  was  playing 
the  master,  who  only  twenty-four  hours  previously  had  as- 
sured them  of  his  friendship. 

The  dreadful  task  of  taking  the  news  to  the  Hofburg 
fell  to  Count  Hoyos.  He  himself  was  limping  from  the 
effect  of  the  blows  which  he  had  received  while  trying  to 
help  the  Crown  Prince. 

Prince  Liechtenstein  was  the  first  to  whom  the  horrible 
story  was  told.  He  had  promised  mother  to  bring  her 
word  as  soon  as  he  received  information  from  Mayerling. 

These  two  gentlemen  were  at  their  wits'  end  as  to  what 
was  to  be  done.     At  last  they  decided  to  go  first  of  all  to 


MAYERLING  235 

the  Empress,  and  as  gently  as  possible  to  break  the  news 
to  her,  before  communicating  with  the  Emperor.  But  no 
sooner  did  they  stand  in  her  presence,  before  they  could 
utter  a  word,  she  whispered  faintly,  looking  as  though 
turned  to  stone :  — ■ 

"  They  have  murdered  Mm! " 


CHAPTER  XXI 


AFTER  MAYERLING  ^ 


In  the  preceding  chapter  I  have  recorded  as  faithfully  as 
I  could  what  I  learnt  from  my  mother's  own  lips  concern- 
ing the  life  and  death  of  my  brother  Rudolf.  I  wish  now 
to  add  a  few  remarks  of  my  own  about  the  affair  of  Mayer- 
ling,  and  then  to  say  something  about  the  situation  pro- 
duced thereafter. 

It  is  easy  to  see  that  such  a  story  as  has  just  been  told 
could  not  be  made  public.  It  was  not  merely  a  question 
of  defiling  the  honour  of  the  house  of  Habsburg  and  the 
reputation  of  several  more  or  less  high  personages,  but 
the  prestige  of  the  religious  hierarchy,  that  rotten  pillar  of 
the  Empire  which  could  only  be  kept  standing  by  the 
greatest  exertions,  must  also  be  preserved.  The  safety  of 
the  Crown,  of  the  very  State  itself,  was  at  stake.  Thir- 
teen years  later  the  whole  world  shuddered  at  the  tale  of 
how  the  Servians  had  butchered  the  wretched  King  Alex- 
ander and  his  Draga,  claiming  to  save  their  country  from 
destruction.  But  my  brother,  the  Crown  Prince  Rudolf, 
was  no  perverse  creature  like  Alexander  of  Servia.  What 
must  one  be  prepared  for  if  the  truth  about  Rudolf's  death 
became  known?  The  throne  would  have  been  forfeited 
for  ever  by  those  who  coveted  it  so.  The  clericals  would 
have  lost  their  power,  the  secretly  fermenting  troubles  all 
over  the  Empire  would  have  come  to  a  head,  especially  in 

1  Before  reading  this  chapter  the  reader  must  be  warned  that  the  bulk  of 
it  was  written  before  the  terrible  affair  of  Sarajevo.  See  p.  262  for  the  ad- 
ditions since  made  to  the  chapter. 

236 


AFTER  MAYERLING  237 

Hungary.  The  peace  of  all  Europe  would  have  been  im- 
perilled. 

There  is  a  German  proverb  which  says :  — 

"  Aber  nichts  ist  so  fein  gesponnen 
Es  kommt  doch  an  die  Sonnen." 

(Nothing  is  so  finely  spun  that  the  sun  does  not  shine 
through.)  Let  us  hope  that  the  day  is  not  far  distant 
when  the  regime  which  brought  about  the  death  of  the 
heir-apparent  will  be  destroyed  for  ever. 

That  the  reactionary  party  is  still  all-powerful  can  be 
proved  from  the  careers,  before  and  after  MayerUng,  of 
two  of  the  most  active  members  of  the  conspiracy.  Gott- 
fried Marschall,  who  till  then,  in  spite  of  his  having  been 
the  Archduke  Franz-Ferdinand's  tutor,  has  risen  no  higher 
than  the  rectorship  of  the  Votive  Church  in  Vienna,  from 
this  time  onward  advanced  rapidly.  He  soon  became 
Bishop-Coadjutor  of  Vienna;  and  there  is  no  doubt  that 
if  he  had  not  died  before  the  old  Prince  Bishop,  Dr. 
Gruscha,  he  would  on  the  latter's  death  have  stepped  into 
his  place.^ 

But  the  case  of  the  Rev.  Gottfried  Marschall  is  quite 
unimportant  compared  with  that  of  Commissioner  Johann 
Habrda.  In  modern  times  Austria  can  show  no  other 
example  of  such  a  career.  To  appreciate  fully  its  as- 
tonishing character,  one  has  to  know  what  a  Golgotha  is 
the  ordinary  career  of  Austrian  officials.  They  cannot 
live  on  their  pay  for  a  number  of  years,  during  which  they 
are  practically  beggars,  and  even  at  the  age  of  thirty  they 
have  but  a  mere  pittance.     If  a  man  has  influence,  money, 

1  Marschall  did  not  die  on  good  terms  with  his  former  pupil,  Franz-Ferdi- 
nand, for  the  reason  that  he  was  opposed  to  the  Countess  Chotek  and  would 
not  use  his  influence  at  the  Vatican  in  her  favour. 


238        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

and  intelligence,  he  can  advance  a  step  on  the  ladder  of 
promotion  every  three  years.  But  that  is  the  shortest 
time  in  which  it  can  be  done.  Habrda  was  only  in  the 
seventh  class  —  that  is  to  say,  the  lowest  but  three  of  the 
ten  which  had  to  be  gone  through  —  when  he  was  ap- 
pointed commissioner  in  the  service  of  the  Crown  Prince, 
and  had  taken  fifteen  to  eighteen  years  (I  cannot  be  cer- 
tain of  the  exact  figure)  to  rise  even  so  high.  It  is  clear, 
therefore,  that  before  Mayerling  he  was  not  one  of  the 
lucky  ones.  After  the  Crown  Prince's  death,  however, 
he  passed  through  the  remaining  seven  classes  in  the  space 
of  eight  years  —  an  average  of  little  less  than  one  class  a 
year  as  against  the  previous  one  class  in  five  or  six  years. 
In  1897  he  became  President  of  the  Viennese  Police,  the 
most  important  police  official  in  the  Empire.  In  addition 
he  was  created  a  baron  and  received  all  the  highest  decora- 
tions a  man  can  get  except  the  Golden  Fleece.  This  was 
a  man  whose  father  was  a  poor  carpenter,  scarcely  able  to 
provide  for  his  son's  early  education.  Is  it  necessary  to 
argue  from  what  quarter  came  the  protection  that  was  ex- 
tended to  him?  How  was  it  that  the  commissioner  to 
whom  the  care  of  the  Crown  Prince  was  confided  was  not 
dismissed  at  once  after  the  catastrophe  ?  How  was  it  that, 
so  far  from  being  dismissed,  he  was,  on  the  contrary,  over- 
whelmed with  honours  and  dignities?  Is  not  this  man's 
career  a  living  proof  of  the  truth  of  my  mother's  story? 

By  one  of  the  httle  tricks  Fate  plays,  the  evidence  is 
preserved  which  makes  for  truth  and  justice.  The  people 
of  Austria-Hungary  have,  in  the  career  just  described,  the 
grain  of  sand  which  can  bring  to  an  end  the  working  of 
the  machinery  that  caused  Mayerling.  If  they  desire, 
they  have  the  power  to  obtain  satisfaction  for  that  crime. 
But  will  they  desire? 


AFTER  MAYERLING  239 

With  the  death  of  the  Crown  Prince  Rudolf  the  succes- 
sion left  the  male  descendants  of  the  Emperor  Francis- 
Joseph  and  went  to  those  of  his  brother  Karl-Ludwig, 
after  the  death  of  the  latter  in  1896.  In  that  year  the 
Archduke  Franz-Ferdinand  became  heir-presumptive,  the 
reversion  of  the  throne  being  to  the  elder  son  of  his  dead 
brother  Otto. 

The  Archduke  Franz-Ferdinand  has  been  mentioned 
several  times  in  this  book,  but  not  discussed  at  any  length. 
My  mother  did  not  often  speak  to  me  about  him ;  most  at 
the  time  when  he  spoilt  our  little  excursion  at  Territet. 
To  her  he  appeared  dull,  utterly  lacking  in  idealism,  and 
devoid  of  personality.  As  a  boy  he  was  mild  compared 
with  his  brother  Otto,  who  early  showed  signs  of  becoming 
the  ruffian  that  he  later  on  was  universally  acknowledged 
to  be.  He  was  very  affectionate  to  his  sister  Margaret- 
Sophia,  who  afterwards  married  the  Duke  Albert  of  Wiir- 
temberg  and  died  in  1902.  He  was  always  on  good  terms 
with  his  stepmother,  Maria-Theresa  of  Braganza,  his  own 
mother,  Anunciada  of  Bourbon- Sicily,  having  died  when 
he  was  quite  young.  His  chnging  to  his  wife,  in  the  face 
of  strong  opposition,  and  his  care  for  his  little  family 
proved  that  he  was  by  no  means  deficient  in  domestic 
affection,  which  must  be  counted  to  him  for  virtue. 

After  Rudolf's  death  very  little  was  seen  of  the  Arch- 
duke Franz-Ferdinand  in  public.  In  fact,  he  seemed  to 
be  very  much  hidden  away.  This  was,  no  doubt,  partly 
due  to  the  state  of  his  health,  for  his  lungs  were  affected, 
and  consumption  was  recognised  as  present.  He  was  ob- 
liged to  spend  time  in  the  pursuit  of  health,  some  of  it 
on  a  long  sea-voyage.  His  condition  improved,  but  he 
did  not  become  robust,  and  during  the  past  two  or  three 
years  reports  of  his  shattered  constitution  were  renewed. 


240        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

He  began  to  be  more  visible  to  the  public  after  his  mar- 
riage in  July,  1900,  to  the  Countess  Sophie  Chotek.  In 
fact,  he  might  often  be  seen  thereafter  walking  down  the 
Prater.  He  is  decidedly  bourgeois  in  very  many  of  his 
ways.  He  is  good  at  business,  for  example,  and  by  some 
might  be  styled  mercenary.  He  owns  a  dairy,  which  is 
called  after  his  name,  and  has  also  entered  into  competition 
with  the  leading  monumental  mason  in  Vienna,  Eduard 
Hauser.  Such  a  trait  does  not  endear  him  to  the  Vien- 
nese. 

A  legend  has  been  spread  of  his  "  strong  will  "  since  he 
was  officially  recognised  as  heir-presumptive,  but  it  has  no 
foundation  in  fact.  He  had  no  will  before  his  marriage, 
and  it  is  his  wife  who  is  the  strong-willed  one.  But  he  has 
strong  prejudices,  as  for  instance,  against  Italy,  hating  the 
house  of  Savoy  as  despoilers  of  the  Church.  On  the  ques- 
tion of  the  rights  of  Hungary,  too,  he  feels  deeply.  In- 
deed, by  his  attitude  over  this  question  he  first  became 
prominent  in  the  politics  of  the  Empire,  using  his  influence 
with  Francis-Joseph  against  the  Hungarians.  He  is  a 
firm  advocate  of  increased  armament,  working  hand  in 
hand  in  this  with  General  Conrad  von  Hotzendorf, 
whose  appointment  as  General  of  the  Staff  he  warmly 
advocated. 

No  one  ever  speaks  about  the  Archduke  Franz- 
Ferdinand  without  mentioning  the  word  bigotry.  But 
truly  he  has  some  reason,  apart  from  his  own  leanings  to- 
ward this  form  of  religious  fervour,  to  be  a  bigot.  His 
father  was  bigoted,  his  stepmother  is  bigoted,  and,  more 
important  still  in  his  case,  his  wife  is  bigoted. 

There  is  no  necessity  to  say  much  about  his  marriage 
with  the  Countess  Chotek,  since  the  facts  are  so  well 
known.     She  was  a  Bohemian  lady-in-waiting  to  the  Arch- 


AFTER  MAYERLING  241 

duchess  Isabella.^  Franz-Ferdinand  fell  in  love  with  her, 
the  Archduchess  discovered  the  secret,  and  dismissed  her. 
Franz-Ferdinand,  playing  upon  his  uncle's  fears  of  a  new 
addition  to  the  ever-growing  hst  of  scandals  in  the  Im- 
perial family,  forced  him  to  consent  to  a  marriage,  which, 
however,  could  only  be  morganatic  owing  to  the  Countess 
not  being  of  royal  blood,  nor  even  of  one  of  the  families 
eligible  for  marriage  with  royalty. 

The  Countess  Chotek  after  her  marriage  entered  the 
Imperial  Court  as  the  next  in  rank  to  the  last  lady  of  the 
old  princely  families.  This  did  not  suit  her  at  all;  but 
she  had  the  Emperor  to  win  over  to  her  side  before  she 
could  improve  her  position.  She  was  clever  enough  to  do 
this,  but  only  by  degrees.  He  created  her  Fiirstin  von 
Hohenberg  upon  her  marriage  —  Fiirstin,  though  trans- 
lated Princess,  being  lower  in  rank  than  Duchess.  About 
five  years  ago  she  insisted  that  she  ought  to  come  imme- 
diately after  the  Archduchesses.  Her  pretensions  were 
supported  by  the  conduct  of  the  German  Emperor,  who 
paid  her  marked  attention  upon  the  occasion  of  a  visit  by 
her  to  Berlin,  and  Francis-Joseph  gave  way.  He  made 
the  heir-presumptive's  wife  Duchess  (Herzogin)  of 
Hohenberg,  whereby  she  now  ranked  as  she  wished,  imme- 
diately after  the  Archduchesses. 

Nor  did  the  Duchess  of  Hohenberg's  ambitions  stop 
there.  She  aimed  at  dominating  the  old  Emperor.  In- 
deed, until  about  four  years  ago,  she  felt  herself  so  strong 
that  she  thought  she  could  supplant  the  Archduchess 
Marie- Valerie.  My  sister,  however,  was  not  so  easily 
beaten.  A  curious  scene  took  place  at  Pola,  where  a  war- 
ship was  to  be  christened,  and  the  god-parents  were  Franz- 

iThe  Princess  Isabella,  of  Croy-Dulmen,  married  to  the  Archduke  Fred- 
erick of  Austria,  a  descendant  of  the  famous  Archduke  Charles.  The  Arch- 
duke Frederick  is  the  wealthiest  of  the  Archdukes. 


242        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

Ferdinand  and  Marie- Valerie.  But  when  the  Duchess 
of  Hohenberg  and  Marie- Valerie  met  they  quarrelled  so 
badly  that  their  two  husbands  had  to  take  them  away,  not 
unnoticed  by  their  suites. 

The  Duchess  is  clever,  it  has  been  said.  At  one  time  she 
used  to  mask  her  cleverness,  but  now  it  is  generally  recog- 
nised, and  concealment  is  impossible.  One  of  her  most 
useful  possessions  is  a  very  flexible  backbone,  and  it  is 
through  this  that  she  has  been  able  to  conquer  the  Em- 
peror. She  has  a  good  business  head,  like  her  husband, 
and  is  a  successful  speculator.  She  is  lacking  in  refine- 
ment, especially  in  her  manners.  Yet  she  has  tried  in  her 
pose  to  imitate  my  mother  —  in  vain,  as  may  be  imagined. 
She  speaks  German  with  a  strong  Czech  accent,  which  cre- 
ates a  bad  impression  when  she  is  heard  for  the  first  time. 

She  has  borne  her  husband  three  children,  the  eldest  a 
girl  and  the  others  two  boys,  and  the  marriage  from  the 
domestic  point  of  view  has  turned  out  happily  enough. 
The  marriages  of  princes,  however,  are  never  considered 
purely  from  the  domestic  point  of  view. 

The  fly  in  the  ointment  for  the  Archduke  Franz-Ferdi- 
nand and  his  wife  is,  of  course,  that  their  union  is  only  mor- 
ganatic and  that  she  cannot  become  Empress,  while  their 
sons  are  not  eligible  to  ascend  the  throne.  Franz-Ferdi- 
nand's heir,  imperially,  is  his  nephew,  the  Archduke  Karl- 
Franz- Joseph,  elder  son  of  the  infamous  Otto.  That  is  to 
say,  the  nephew  will  be  heir  unless  the  Austrian  constitu- 
tion and  the  family  law  of  the  Habsburgs  are  both 
amended.  It  is  fairly  certain  that  Franz-Ferdinand  ori- 
ginally intended  to  get  all  the  rights  he  could  for  his  wife 
(and  therefore  for  his  children)  out  of  the  Emperor.  But 
he  now  sees  that  the  aged  Francis-Joseph  is  not  strong 
enough  to  do  what  he  wanted  him  to  do.     Consequently 


AFTER  MAYERLING  243 

the  game  has  to  be  played  differently.  Franz-Ferdinand 
and  the  Duchess  of  Hohenberg  have  most  powerful  allies, 
the  Jesuits.  In  return  for  binding  themselves  to  them, 
body  and  soul,  husband  and  wife  have  all  the  resources  of 
the  order  behind  them.  The  advice  which  they  have  re- 
ceived is  to  keep  very  quiet  and  do  nothing  to  provoke  op- 
position yet.  It  is  even  thought  that  the  rumours  of 
Franz-Ferdinand's  shattered  health  are  purposely  spread 
that  he  may  be  thought  to  be  now  a  negligible  quantity. 
His  interest  in  Balkan  affairs,  his  anti-Italian  activity  at 
the  time  of  the  war  in  Tripoli,  and  above  all  his  quarrel 
with  Count  Aehrenthal,  were  no  doubt  considered  to  have 
brought  him  into  unwise  prominence,  necessitating  a 
temporary  retreat. 

The  curious  attitude  of  the  heir-presumptive  and  his 
wife  toward  the  Hungarians  is  probably  also  part  of  this 
subtle  scheme.  Franz-Ferdinand  opposes  Hungarian 
pretensions  and  pays  no  more  than  bare  official  visits  to 
the  country.  The  Duchess  avoids  it  entirely.  Such  con- 
duct has  been  denounced  as  foolish,  but  those  who  advise 
it  know  their  business.  The  Hungarians  are  an  enthusi- 
astic people  when  they  conceive  an  affection  for  anyone,  as 
my  mother  learnt  early  in  her  life.  She  was  an  idol  to 
them  from  the  moment  they  saw  her.  Such  enthusiasm  in 
Hungary  provokes  a  very  different  response  in  Vienna, 
and  is  therefore  to  be  avoided  by  the  heir-presumptive. 
The  Duchess  of  Hohenberg  will  show  herself  in  Hungary 
after  her  husband's  accession  to  the  throne.  She  will  then 
wipe  out  the  memories  of  past  indifference.  So  at  least  it 
is  hoped,  though  it  is  doubtful  whether  the  Hungarians 
will  forgive  her  anxiety  to  clericalise  their  country  and  her 
use  of  her  influence  in  favour  of  making  the  Hungarian 
divorce  laws  more  stringent  four  years  ago. 


2U       THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

What  makes  it  specially  needful  for  Franz-Ferdinand 
to  go  carefully  is  the  existence  of  a  strong  party  in  oppo- 
sition to  him.  If  the  Crown  Prince  Rudolf,  the  Em- 
peror's own  son,  had  a  cabal  against  him,  how  could  the 
Emperor's  nephew,  saddled  with  a  wife  whose  existence 
threatens  State  and  family  laws,  escape?  The  heads  of 
the  opposition  now  are  the  Archduchess  Marie-Valerie,  the 
Archduchess  Maria-Josepha,  widow  of  the  Archduke  Otto 
and  mother  of  the  next  heir;  and  the  Archduchess  Isabella. 
My  sister's  hostility  needs  no  further  explanation.  Maria- 
Josepha,  a  handsome,  simple,  and  upright  woman,  who 
now  leads  a  very  retired  existence,  was,  as  long  as  her  hus- 
band lived,  the  first  Archduchess  of  the  whole  Court,  as 
prospective  Empress.  Her  enmity  toward  the  Duchess 
of  Hohenberg  can  also  easily  be  understood.  As  for  the 
Archduchess  Isabella,  it  is  no  secret  that  she  was  seriously 
annoyed  with  Franz-Ferdinand  because  he  did  not  take  to 
wife  her  daughter  rather  than  her  lady-in-waiting. 

The  photograph  here  reproduced  is  a  curious  one  inas- 
much as  it  shows  the  three  feminine  heads  of  the  opposi- 
tion in  a  group  together.  Their  male  companion  is  the 
Archduke  Ferdinand-Karl,  younger  brother  of  the  Arch- 
dukes Franz-Ferdinand  and  Otto.  Like  Franz-Ferdi- 
nand, he  has  made  a  morganatic  marriage,  his  wife  being 
Bertha  Tschuber,  a  Viennese  professor's  daughter  and  a 
very  charming  woman.  He  is  known  as  Ferdinand  Burg, 
and  lives  exiled  from  Court,  while  she  has  been  created  a 
Baroness. 

The  strength  of  the  party  opposed  to  the  present  heir 
apparently  lies  in  the  number  of  members  of  the  Imperial 
family  which  it  includes.  Austria- Hungary  swarms  with 
Archdukes  and  Archduchesses,  owing  to  the  custom  by 
which  the  title  extends  to  all  legitimate  members  of  the 


Archduchess  Isabella  (standing').  Archduchess  Marie-Josepha, 

Archduchess  Marie-  Valerie  {right),- 

and  Archduke  Ferdinand-Karl 


AFTER  MAYERLING  245 

family.  The  sympathy  of  such  is  naturally  in  favour  ©f 
legitimism,  which  excludes  morganatic  unions.  The  Em- 
peror Francis-Joseph  found  this  the  case  when  he  ex- 
tended his  protection  to  the  Duchess  of  Hohenberg,  and 
was  angry  at  the  difficulties  put  in  his  way.  On  one  oc- 
casion at  Court  he  positively  commanded  his  granddaugh- 
ter Elisabeth,  Rudolf's  daughter,  to  take  her  seat  next  the 
Duchess.  But  Elisabeth  herself  had  married  out  of  her 
rank,  being  the  wife  of  Prince  Otto  of  Windischgratz. 

Since  the  above  was  written,  the  Archduke  Franz-Ferdi- 
nand and  his  wife  were  brutally  cut  off  by  the  hand  of  an 
assassin  at  Sarajevo,  Bosnia,  on  Sunday,  June  28th.  I 
have  thought  it  better,  however,  not  to  alter  what  I  wrote, 
but  rather  to  add  a  few  pages  to  this  chapter,  first  concern- 
ing the  crime  and  its  effects,  and  secondly  concerning  the 
new  heir-presumptive  and  his  wife. 

There  can,  of  course,  be  no  two  views  as  to  the  assassina- 
tion, which  has  been  denounced  all  over  the  civilised  world. 
The  Serb  nationality  of  the  murderer  recalls  the  fact  that 
the  late  Archduke  was  in  favour  of  crushing  the  Servians, 
whom  he  did  not  like.  [Among  the  races  composing  the 
population  of  the  Empire  he  favoured  only  the  Czechs, 
his  wife's  people.]  In  return  the  Servians  hated  him,  so 
that  there  was  a  special  motive  for  the  crime.  It  is  diffi- 
cult, however,  to  resist  the  suspicion  that  there  was  more 
behind  it  than  has  come  out,  or  perhaps  will  ever  come  out, 
and  that  Servia  alone  should  not  bear  all  the  blame.  Be 
that  as  it  may,  it  cannot  be  doubted  that  the  removal  of 
Franz-Ferdinand  and  his  wife  came  as  a  relief  to  many. 
The  Court  as  a  whole  watched  with  apprehension  the  way 
in  which  the  old  Emperor  was  harassed  by  the  two  parties, 
the  adherents  and  the  enemies  of  the  late  heir-apparent; 


246        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

and  from  its  point  of  view  the  future  looks  much  more 
peaceful  now.  The  Duchess  of  Hohenberg  was  the  main 
cause  of  fear,  not  her  husband.  There  were  those  who 
regarded  her  as  a  potential  Catherine  de'  Medici,  whose 
ambitions  might  work  incalculable  harm.  Now  that  she  is 
dead  they  breathe  again. 

About  the  new  heir-presumptive  these  people  feel  that 
it  is  permissible  to  entertain  hopes.  The  Archduke  Karl- 
Franz- Joseph  is  not  an  important  man ;  the  training  of  an 
archduke  does  not  tend  to  produce  such.  He  is  not  only 
young  in  years  —  being  born  in  August,  1887  —  but  also 
young  for  his  years.  He  might  even  be  called  childish. 
He  is  credited  by  gossip  with  having  been  to  see  "  The 
Waltz  Dream  "  fifty  times ;  and  he  has  a  strong  liking  for 
cinema  shows.  About  six  years  ago  he  was  put  for  a  week 
under  "  house  arrest "  for  firing  at  targets  in  the  neigh- 
bourhood of  a  powder  magazine,  which  was  certainly  a 
foolish  escapade.  But  he  is  not  known  to  be  worse  than 
unduly  young.  On  the  other  hand,  the  Emperor  Francis- 
Joseph,  who  was  already  an  old  man  when  his  grand- 
nephew  was  a  baby,  has  always  watched  his  development 
with  interest  and  had  much  to  say  with  regard  to  his  edu- 
cation, about  which  his  father  Otto  naturally  troubled  lit- 
tle. From  the  beginning  of  his  life  almost,  or,  to  be  pre- 
cise, from  the  age  of  two,  Karl  (as  he  is  called  in  the 
family)  was  regarded  as  a  possible  heir-presumptive. 
After  the  Crown  Prince  Rudolf's  death  there  stood  be- 
tween him  and  the  throne  only  his  grandfather,  the  Arch- 
duke Karl-Ludwig,  who  was  fifty-six  years  old ;  his  uncle, 
Franz-Ferdinand,  whose  health  was  very  precarious;  and 
his  father,  whose  accession  was  out  of  the  question. 
Therefore  his  eventual  rise  to  his  present  position  had  al- 
ways to  be  kept  in  view  by  the  Emperor  and  the  rest  of 


Archduke  Franz- Ferdinand 
and  Family 


Archduke  Karl-Fram-Joseph 
and  the  Archduchess  Zita 


AFTER  MAYERLING  247 

the  family.  Doubtless  this  is  partly  accountable  for  the 
fact  that  he  and  Franz-Ferdinand  were  not  on  good  terms, 
the  nephew  never  paying  a  visit  to  the  uncle's  country 
home  at  Konopischt,  in  Bohemia,  although  he  hved  quite 
near. 

Karl-Franz-Joseph  came  over  to  England  for  the  coro- 
nation of  King  George  V,  being  the  representative  of  the 
Emperor  on  that  occasion. 

In  his  looks,  the  young  Archduke  is  by  no  means  so 
striking  as  was  his  father,  being  in  fact  rather  slight, 
though  his  figure  is  good.  Of  his  attainments  the  princi- 
pal one  is  that  he  speaks  languages  well.  He  is  very  cler- 
ical in  his  views,  as  was  also  his  mother. 

But  the  new  heir  is  very  much  of  a  closed  book,  and  his 
tendencies,  being  kept  under,  are  unknown.  A  fate  which 
seems  to  threaten  him  is  that  he  may  become  the  puppet  of 
parties.  At  present  the  chief  influences  with  him,  as  also 
with  his  wife,  the  Archduchess  Zita,  are  his  mother  Marie- 
Josepha,  and  her  aunt  Maria-Theresa,  who  was  the  Arch- 
duke Karl-Ludwig's  third  and  last  wife. 

The  Archduchess  Zita  herself,  the  prospective  Empress, 
may  have  a  rather  good  influence  over  her  husband,  if  she 
can  manage  to  keep  it  —  which  is  very  difficult  for  an  Aus- 
trian archduchess  to  do.  She  was  one  of  the  nineteen  chil- 
dren of  the  late  Duke  Robert  of  Parma,  by  his  second  wife 
Marie-Antonia  of  Braganza.  The  duke  was  a  very 
wealthy  man,  who  cheerfully  saw  his  duchy  swallowed  up 
by  the  kingdom  of  Italy  when  he  was  allowed  to  keep  his 
riches.  The  Duchess  came  of  a  pious  race,  and  her  daugh- 
ter Zita  is  convent-bred  and  somewhat  bigoted.  But  her 
convent  was  in  the  Isle  of  Wight,  and  her  experience  of 
foreign  lands  has  prevented  her  becoming  too  narrow, 
though  she  remains  hourgeoise.     She  is  now,  at  the  age  of 


248        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

twenty-two,  decidedly  a  nice  woman,  neither  given  to  in- 
trigue nor  fond  of  the  limehght.  Whether  she  will  make 
a  good  Empress  is  perhaps  a  question.  Self-effacement 
may  well  be  carried  too  far. 

The  little  son  of  the  Archduke  and  Archduchess,  Franz- 
Joseph-Otto,  is  not  yet  two  years  old,  while  their  daugh- 
ter's age  is  only  reckoned  by  months. 

I  have  made  a  very  long  digression,  and  must  now  re- 
turn to  my  own  story. 


CHAPTER  XXII 

I   GO   UNDEE   FIEE 

As  the  result  of  Frau  von  Friese's  arguments  with  my 
mother,  I  continued  to  attend  Fraulein  Weigl's  school; 
and  really,  as  one  day  followed  another,  the  coincidence  of 
Bertha  Habrda's  presence  there  looked  more  and  more 
innocent.  Mother  became  somewhat  reassured  —  the 
more  so  as  she  intended  that  I  should  pass  the  greater  part 
of  the  winter  at  her  side. 

On  November  24th  she  left  Vienna  for  Biarritz.  *'  I 
shall  let  you  come  to  Paris  shortly  after  Christmas,"  she 
said  to  me  on  the  22nd,  when  she  came  to  say  good-bye  to 
me. 

"  To  Paris!  "  I  exclaimed  in  ecstasy. 

"  Yes,  dearest.  I  never  thought  of  it  before.  The 
place  is  so  big  that  we  shall  be  better  off  there  than  any- 
where else.  We  shall  be  together  again  in  the  same  hotel, 
and  I  will  remain  there  the  whole  winter  with  you.  In  the 
spring  we  will  go  again  together  to  Switzerland,  so  that 
my  Babe  will  be  all  the  time  at  my  side." 

Was  I  happy?  I  cannot  say  how  happy.  The  long 
winter,  usually  so  horrible,  would  this  year  be  all  delight- 
ful. I  should  rejoice  to  get  away  from  Vienna,  to  rid  my- 
self of  all  my  forbidden  dreams  of  love  and  banish  their 
memory  in  agreeable  distractions. 

Mother  had  left,  and  I  spent  my  time  daily  from  nine 
o'clock  to  two  in  the  sewing-school.  She  had  solemnly 
warned  me  to  be  on  the  qui  vive,  and  this  was  really  the 

249 


250        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

only  thing  which  made  it  worth  while  for  me  to  go ;  for  to 
this  day  I  hate  any  work  with  the  needle,  and  it  was  not 
less  distasteful  to  me  then. 

The  three  new  girls  were  very  friendly  to  me,  and  we 
spent  some  very  pleasant  hours  together.  Hardly  had  my 
mother  left  Vienna  when  Laura  asked  them  to  come  to  her 
mother's  reception-day,  which  they  did.  I  was  not  al- 
lowed to  go,  and  so  did  not  meet  them  there.  But  some 
time  after  Bertha  Habrda  asked  if  we  might  come  to  see 
her.  Just  at  this  time  her  father  was  nominated  Presi- 
dent of  the  Vienna  Police,  the  highest  position  in  the  entire 
police-force  of  Austria.  The  family  had  magnificent 
apartments,  comprising  the  whole  of  the  first  floor  of  the 
police  building  in  the  Ringstrasse. 

I  was  a  little  suspicious  —  but,  I  must  confess,  at  least 
as  much  of  the  Kaisers  as  of  the  Habrdas.  It  struck  me 
considerably  that  Laura  had  invited  them  immediately 
after  mother  had  left  Vienna.  W^hy  had  she  not  done  so 
either  before  or  a  little  later?  Of  course  mother  had  for- 
bidden me  to  mention  her  suspicions  to  the  Kaisers,  and  so 
they  were  unaware  that  she  was  at  all  alarmed.  The 
matter  seemed  to  me  worth  more  than  passing  atten- 
tion. 

Well,  as  I  have  said.  Bertha  invited  me  together  with 
Laura.  They  believed,  or  affected  to  believe,  that  we 
were  sisters,  and  some  excuse  had  been  made  for  my  ab- 
sence when  they  came  to  visit  the  Kaisers.  Bertha  gave 
us  the  invitation  at  the  school.  I  had  expected  it,  and  so 
also  had  Frau  von  Friese.  The  day  after  Bertha  was  at 
Laura's  home,  my  governess  had  said  to  me,  "  Now  you 
will  be  invited  to  President  Habrda's." 

"  Yes,"  said  I,  "  and  what  shall  I  do?  " 

Was  I  scared?  she  asked.     Not  in  the  least,  I  replied; 


I  GO  UNDER  FIRE  251 

but  nevertheless,  unconsciously,  my  heart  was  beating  so 
rapidly  as  to  make  me  uncomfortable. 

"  Now  don't  tell  fibs  to  me,  my  dear  child,"  said  Frau 
von  Friese,  with  a  smile.  "  Your  mother  would  be  tor- 
tured at  the  mere  idea  of  your  being  there.  But  you  are 
not  a  baby  any  more,  Lily,  and  it  is  no  longer  necessary 
to  make  you  believe  it  wrong  to  keep  something  secret 
from  your  mother,  if  it  is  for  her  peace  of  mind  and  for  the 
sake  of  her  health.  On  the  other  hand,  I  wish  you  to  have 
both  courage  and  self-control,  which  you  cannot  without 
the  opportunity  to  exercise  them.  In  short,  I  want  you  to 
go  to  the  house  of  the  President  of  Police.  There  is  no 
danger.  If  there  was  I  would  not  dare  to  send  you.  But 
I  too  have  my  spies,  who  are  very  reliable,  and  during  the 
hour  that  you  are  there  they  will  be  near  you  to  guard  you, 
although  I  know  it  is  a  needless  precaution." 

Noticing  my  continued  excitement,  which  my  very  in- 
ability to  speak  betrayed,  she  told  me  that  it  was  just  be- 
cause she  knew  I  should  be  walking  as  if  on  needles  that  it 
would  be  so  good  for  me  to  go  to  the  Habrdas.  I  must 
learn  to  go  under  fire.  And  there  was  something  else 
which  she  had  to  tell  me,  which  would  astonish  me  greatly. 
Although  there  was,  as  she  said,  no  immediate  danger,  she 
no  longer  suspected  that  there  was  a  plot  against  me,  she 
knew  it!  I  must  not  think  that  my  double  existence,  my 
life  as  Miss  Lily  Kaiser  and  my  other  secret  one,  was  un- 
known to  the  people  who  had  nothing  to  do  except  dis- 
cover such  matters.  The  day  after  my  mother  had  told 
her  who  Bertha  Habrda  was,  she  had  set  her  organisation  * 
to  work,  and  they  had  found  out  that  Habrda  had  orders 

1 1  know  the  name  of  the  police  commissioner  who  was  the  chief  of  those 
whom  Frau  von  Friese  called  her  "  spies " ;  but  as  he  is  still  living  and 
in  the  police  it  would  not  be  right  to  divulge  it.  He  was  a  good  friend  to 
Frau  von  Friese.  At  the  same  time  he  was  on  friendly  terms  with  Commis- 
sioner Georg  Bayerl. 


252        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

to  become  personally  acquainted  with  me.  Indeed,  he  was 
told  that  to  some  extent  his  nomination  to  the  just  about 
to  be  vacant  Presidency  of  Police  depended  upon  his  suc- 
cess in  this  matter. 

"  But  why  Habrda  in  particular? "  I  demanded. 

"  Because,"  said  Frau  von  Friese,  taking  my  two  hands 
into  hers  and  looking  gravely  and  earnestly  with  her  great 
steel-grey  eyes  into  mine,  "  because  he  has  already  shown 
himself  to  be  a  reliable  man." 

"Oh,  very  well!"  I  cried.  "He  was  my  brother's 
police-superintendent,  and  now  you  wish  me  to  go  to  his 
house.  I  will  go  —  with  a  revolver  in  my  hand,  to  blow 
his  brains  out  and  so  make  one  less  in  the  company  of 
scoundrels !  " 

At  this  outburst  Frau  von  Friese  laughed  aloud,  and 
now  taking  my  face  between  her  hands,  she  said :  — 

"  No,  you  little  volcano,  not  to  do  that,  but  to  look  in  the 
scoundrel's  eyes.  Take  a  good  look  at  him,  and  learn  in 
one  lesson  what  you  have  to  expect  from  such  a  man. 
Further,  you  will  meet  at  his  house  all  the  men  of  whom 
you  have  to  beware.  First  of  all  there  will  be  Chief  Com- 
missioner Camillo  Windt,  who  in  a  short  time  will  be 
head  of  the  secret  police.  Then  there  will  be  Commis- 
sioner Georg  Bayerl,  in  a  few  weeks'  time  to  be  the  superin- 
tendent in  charge  of  the  Emperor's  safety ;  and  Chief  Com- 
missioner Stuckhart,  though  he  is  of  less  importance;  and 
others,  at  all  of  whom  you  must  look  as  hard  as  they  will 
look  at  you.  They  will  talk  little,  or  not  at  all,  to  you; 
but  they  will  stamp  your  features  on  their  memory.  They 
must  see  in  you  a  thoughtless  young  girl,  who  does  not 
pay  any  attention  to  them.  Still  less  must  it  occur  to 
them  that  you  have  any  suspicions.  Clever  plotters  as 
they  are,  they  never  would  believe  that  I  should  let  you 


I  GO  UNDER  FIRE  253 

go  there  if  I  was  even  slightly  aware  of  what  was  going 
on." 

At  this  moment  Frau  von  Friese  was  really  beautiful. 
Her  cheeks  flushed  with  excitement,  and  her  eyes  shone, 
though  the  tone  of  her  voice  was  still  soft  and  even.  She 
was  once  again,  after  so  long  a  time,  my  dear  old  cheer- 
ful Frau  von  Friese.  I  threw  both  my  arms  about  her 
neck  and  kissed  her  vehemently.  The  escapade  was  much 
to  my  liking.  I  had  now  lost  all  fear.  And  so,  about  a 
week  later,  I  went  to  visit  at  the  President's  home. 

In  spite  of  my  courage,  I  must  admit  that  I  felt  a  little 
troubled  when  I  entered  the  great  building,  at  every  cor- 
ner of  which  was  a  policeman.  On  the  landing  of  the 
stairs  to  the  first  floor,  barring  the  way  to  the  President's 
apartments,  was  a  high  iron  gate.  There  came  over  me 
the  impression  of  entering  a  prison  as  I  passed  through  it, 
and  I  seemed  already  to  feel  the  chains  clanking  about  my 
feet.  But  all  such  feelings  passed  away  immediately  I 
entered  the  private  hall,  where  a  footman  took  our  cloaks. 

There  were  only  a  few  girls  and  ladies  present;  no 
gentlemen  as  yet.  The  Habrdas  were  descended  from 
very  simple  middle-class  people,  as  was  most  evident  even 
at  this  time  when  they  were  at  the  height  of  their  power. 
At  tea  we  all  sat  down  round  the  table  quite  a  la  hour- 
geoise.  Frau  Habrda  poured  out  the  tea.  It  was  very 
cosy  and  old-fashioned,  and  I  laughed  to  myself  in  think- 
ing of  what  I  had  expected  and  what  I  really  found. 
While  we  were  drinking  tea,  a  short  fat  little  man,  with 
keen  small  eyes,  entered  the  dining-room.  *'  Here  comes 
papa,"  said  Bertha.  She  introduced  him  to  Laura  and 
myself,  as  we  were  the  only  persons  he  did  not  seem  to 
know.  He  sat  down  at  the  table,  very  friendly  to  all  and 
full  of  fun. 


254        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

"Which  is  the  elder  of  the  two  young  ladies?"  he 
asked,  looking  at  me.  "  You  both  seem  to  be  of  the  same 
age." 

"  How  is  it  those  two  sisters  do  not  in  the  slightest  re- 
semble each  other?  "  he  said  again.  While  he  was  making 
these  remarks,  the  little  piercing  eyes  were  roving  from 
one  to  the  other.  I  realised  that  he  would  soon  make  me 
feel  uncomfortable  with  his  banter.  Immediately  I  felt 
a  secret  repugnance  for  this  man ;  and,  perhaps  for  the  first 
time  in  my  life,  I  was  sorry  not  to  be  an  openly  acknowl- 
edged Archduchess  of  Austria.  How  pleasing  it  would 
have  been  to  me  to  have  been  crushingly  arrogant  to  the 
man.  Looking  at  him  I  could  not  help  thinking,  "  You 
coward,  it  is  you  that  let  them  kill  my  brother !  " 

After  tea  we  were  shown  over  the  apartments.  President 
Habrda  accompanying  us.  Adjoining  the  living-rooms 
were  his  official  apartments,  which  could  be  thrown  open 
to  communicate  with  the  private  rooms,  if  needed  for  large 
receptions. 

"  Do  you  want  to  see  my  workshop,  too?  "  he  said  jok- 
ingly ;  and  with  this  he  opened  the  padded  door  which  sepa- 
rated his  office  from  the  rest.  The  girls  played  about  a 
little  and  seemed  rather  amused  at  the  handcuffs  lying  on 
his  desk.  In  the  meantime,  he  engaged  me  in  conversa- 
tion, explaining  to  me  that  it  happened  sometimes  that  he 
even  had  to  use  them  himself  on  obstreperous  prisoners. 
By  this  time  the  other  girls  had  passed  into  another  room, 
while  I  was  forced  to  remain.  I  could  scarcely  any  more 
take  in  half  of  what  he  was  saying  to  me.  I  kept  impress- 
ing on  myself,  "  Keep  calm.  Don't  show  any  embarrass- 
ment! It  may  be  only  a  test  to  see  if  you  are  suspicious." 
But,  to  tell  the  truth,  I  thought  myself  lost  already,  ex- 
pecting the  floor  to  open  under  my  feet  every  moment.     I 


I  GO  UNDER  FIRE  255 

did  not  dare  to  suggest  we  should  follow  the  others  for 
fear  of  precipitating  my  disappearance  I 

He  talked  of  matters  quite  uninteresting  to  me,  and  all 
the  while  his  little  eyes  seemed  to  pierce  me  through.  But 
I  resisted  these  looks  successfully.  The  longer  they  con- 
tinued the  calmer  I  grew,  until  at  last  he  said,  "  Shall  we 
rejoin  the  rest? "  Thereupon  he  reopened  the  door, 
which  had  closed  automatically.  I  felt  as  if  I  had  a  new 
lease  of  life.  Only  with  difficulty  was  I  able  to  suppress 
my  sigh  of  relief  at  what  seemed  to  me  a  narrow  escape. 

It  did  not  appear  to  me  that  the  President  was  a  good 
dissimulator,  for  he  treated  me  with  far  too  much  distinc- 
tion among  the  school-friends  of  his  daughter.  Perhaps 
he  intended  thereby  to  embarrass  me.  If  so,  he  did  not 
succeed. 

When  I  re-entered  the  large  reception-room,  I  found 
that  a  few  other  guests  had  arrived.  They  were  mostly 
very  insignificant  people.  One  only  of  them  had  the  same 
piercing  eyes  as  my  host.  He  was  introduced  to  me  as 
Commissioner  Camillo  Windt. 

"  Oh,  that  is  you,"  I  thought  to  myself,  "  the  chief  of  the 
secret  police.  You  have  a  bad  face,  and  I  must  beware  of 
you." 

Commissioner  Georg  Bayerl  was  also  there.  There  was 
nothing  remarkable  about  his  face,  though  he  was  rather 
good-looking.  He  was  clearly  one  of  those  who  obey  the 
orders  of  others. 

As  Frau  von  Friese  had  said,  they  did  not  speak  to  me ; 
but,  every  time  I  happened  to  glance  towards  Camillo 
Windt,  I  noticed  that  his  eyes  were  fixed  on  me. 

After  another  half-hour  we  left.  I  was  glad  to  have 
got  it  over.  Going  downstairs,  I  went  first,  hurrying  on 
before  Laura  and  Mina,  and  I  smiled  as  I  noticed  how  my 


256        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

poor  maid  hastened  to  my  side  as  if  to  protect  me.  I 
could  not  speak  because  of  Laura's  presence,  but  I  had 
much  ado  to  prevent  myself  exclaiming :  "  Well,  I  have 
escaped  all  right !  " 

When  I  returned  home  I  noticed  that,  in  spite  of  her 
outward  calm,  Frau  von  Friese  was  very  uneasy,  and  she 
could  not  refrain  from  clasping  both  her  arms  about  my 
neck  and  pressing  me  to  her  for  a  few  minutes. 

"  I  was  nearly  lost,  little  mother,"  I  said  laughing. 
*'  That  is  to  say,  nobody  tried  to  do  me  any  harm,  but  had 
they  wished  to  they  had  a  splendid  chance."  Then  I  gave 
her  all  the  details  of  my  visit.  She  was  so  moved  that  at 
first  she  could  not  speak,  and  I  had  to  reassure  her  by  tell- 
ing her  again  that  no  one  had  really  tried  to  harm  me. 

From  this  day  on,  unless  I  went  out  with  Frau  von 
Friese,  the  faithful  Pirker  followed  ever5nvhere  in  my 
steps.  I  could  no  longer  move  without  having  one  of  them 
at  my  side.  Frau  von  Friese  strongly  impressed  upon  me 
that  I  was  never  to  leave  the  school  by  myself,  and  that  at 
school  I  must  keep  with  all  the  girls  and  never  be  alone  for 
a  moment.  As  for  the  Kaisers,  I  soon  found  out  that  they 
were  quite  ignorant  of  what  was  going  on.  Laura  was 
too  young  to  understand,  Mrs.  Kaiser  too  indifferent  and 
careless.  As  for  Mr.  Kaiser,  whatever  suspicions  he  had, 
he  did  not  say  anything  to  his  wife  about  them.  But,  on 
the  very  next  day  after  my  visit  to  the  Habrdas,  he  came 
quite  unexpectedly  to  my  home  in  the  Strohgasse.  He 
wished  to  speak  to  Frau  von  Friese  quite  alone,  he  said.  I 
could  not  imagine  what  was  the  matter  with  him.  After 
he  had  gone,  Frau  von  Friese  said  to  me,  "  Poor  old  gentle- 
man, he  questioned  Laura  yesterday  on  her  return;  and 
after  what  she  told  him,  especially  when  she  said  that  the 
President  seemed  to  have  taken  quite  a  fancy  to  you,  he 


I  GO  UNDER  FIRE  257 

became  very  much  worried  and  came  over  at  once  to  warn 
me." 

From  this  day  forward,  Mr.  Kaiser  nearly  always  came 
himself  to  fetch  me  from  school.  He  was  really  a  very 
worthy  man,  in  spite  of  an  insupportably  irritable  temper. 

The  greater  part  of  December  passed  by,  with  me  ex- 
pecting every  day  an  order  from  mother  to  join  her  in 
Paris.  On  the  18th  Frau  von  Friese  received  these  few 
lines  from  Biarritz :  — 

"  Still  the  same  sorrow,  still  the  same  troubles.  Will 
write  in  more  detail  from  Paris.  Shall  probably  ask  you 
to  come  there  for  the  New  Year." 

This  was  disappointing.  I  had  expected  to  be  with 
mother  on  her  birthday  and  for  Christmas,  but  I  was  too 
much  accustomed  to  these  disappointments  to  fall  into  de- 
spair over  them. 

On  the  26th  we  had  further  bad  news.  Another  letter 
came,  in  which  mother  wrote:  — 

"  Since  I  have  come  to  Paris,  my  health  seems  to  have 
grown  worse.  I  tried  Metzger's  massage-cure,  but  it  did 
me  more  harm  than  good.  My  physicians  tell  me  that  I 
must  lose  no  time,  but  go  south  at  once.  I  feel  it  myself. 
I  can't  stand  Paris.  I  am  leaving  on  the  28th  for  Mar- 
seilles, where  the  Countess  Trani  will  meet  me.  I  do  not 
know  how  long  she  intends  to  remain  with  me.  All  this 
means  turning  my  plans  upside  down  and  makes  me  worse 
than  ever,  so  that  now  no  cure  can  help  me.  I  feel  that 
my  place  is  beside  my  child,  and  everything  seems  to  con- 
spire to  prevent  my  having  her  with  me.  As  she  grows  up, 
all  kinds  of  dangers  are  coming  upon  her.  At  night  I 
get  even  less  sleep  than  before.  I  always  imagine  that 
something  has  happened  to  her.    My  heart  ceases  to  beat 


258        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

when  I  get  your  letters,  for  fear  of  bad  news.  I  can't 
help  it.  I  am  frightened  to  death  of  H .  He  is  cap- 
able of  anything.  Day  and  night  I  dream  of  my  darling 
being  caught  in  some  trap  and  tortured  to  death.  I  must 
make  an  end  of  all  this,  but  I  have  also  to  wait  for  the 
right  opportunity,  and  sometimes  I  feel  that  for  the  pres- 
ent I  am  unable  to  undergo  such  great  excitements.  As 
I  say,  I  do  not  know  when  my  sister  is  leaving  me  again, 
nor  where  I  shall  settle  down.  Just  now  the  Miramar  is 
awaiting  me  at  Marseilles,  so  probably  weeks  will  elapse 
before  I  can  let  you  know  where  to  join  me.  Poor  darling, 
what  a  disappointment  for  her  again.  Make  her  life 
as  pleasant  as  you  can  for  her,  dear  Friese,  and  please,  for 
God's  sake,  watch  over  her  and  protect  her." 

I  was  perfectly  desperate  at  this  news.  My  poor 
mother  was  so  ill,  killing  herself  with  useless  worry  — 
and  I  was  unable  to  be  at  her  side.  I  kept  on  thinking 
that  she  was  going  to  die.  I  was  in  such  despair  that  Frau 
von  Friese  no  longer  knew  what  to  do  with  me.  She  made 
inquiries  concerning  the  real  state  of  mother's  health,  and 
was  told  that,  although  it  was  very  poor,  there  was  no  real 
danger  of  anything  serious.  This  reassured  me  a  little, 
but  I  could  not  overcome  my  melancholy  still. 

The  greater  part  of  January  passed  without  further 
news.  Frau  von  Friese  took  me  about,  to  the  opera  and 
to  concerts;  but  music,  far  from  cheering  me,  had  a  sad- 
dening effect  upon  me. 

My  aunt  Mathilde,  Countess  Trani,  mother's  youngest 
Hving  sister,  decided  in  the  end  to  spend  the  winter  with 
her.  They  went  to  San  Remo,  where  they  intended  to  re- 
main a  few  months.  So  once  again  mother  had  to  write 
postponing  our  reunion. 


I  GO  UNDER  FIRE  259 

"  During  March,"  she  said,  "  I  shall  again  be  at  Ter- 
ritet,  and  there  we  will  at  last  meet  once  more.  The  physi- 
cians want  me  to  try  all  kinds  of  cm*es,  but  my  only  real 
help  lies  in  you,  darling.'* 

The  delays  seemed  endless.  I  became  terribly  discon- 
tented, and  a  sort  of  jealousy  sprang  up  in  me  against  my 
aunt,  who  was  keeping  my  mother  from  me.  The  real 
fact  of  the  matter  was  that  mother,  if  not  dangerously  ill, 
was  at  least  so  bad  that  it  would  have  been  impossible  for 
her  to  meet  me  in  our  usual  way,  for  she  could  not  go  out 
alone  without  a  companion.  I  am  now  strongly  inclined 
to  think  that  her  state  was  due,  in  great  part,  to  her  be- 
lief that  I  was  in  grave  peril  and  surrounded  by  enemies ; 
or  perhaps  she  had  even  found  out  that  I  was  really  in 
some  danger  of  which  I  myself  was  unaware.  But  at  the 
time  it  seemed  to  me  that  mother  was  putting  me  aside  for 
my  aunt's  sake.  I  thought  that  she  might  possibly  have 
arranged  for  me  to  join  her  earlier  than  March,  and  a  hor- 
rible feeling  of  loneliness  came  over  me. 

All  this  time  I  continued  to  attend  the  sewing-school. 
One  day  we  were  sitting  as  usual  round  our  table,  when 
Bertha  and  her  girl  friends  told  us,  choking  with  laughter 
as  they  did  so,  that  Commissioners  Windt  and  Bayerl  were 
coming  that  morning  to  pay  us  a  visit  in  school.  We  were 
not  to  let  Fraulein  Weigl  know  that  it  was  a  joke,  as  they 
would  come  as  though  officially  to  inspect  the  school.  For 
a  moment  I  thought  myself  that  it  was  really  a  joke,  but 
the  next  I  shrewdly  suspected  that  they  were  paying  a 
special  visit  to  see  me. 

Of  course,  poor  Fraulein  Weigl  trembled  when  she 
heard  the  word  "  Police,"  and  did  not  know  what  to  think 
of  the  two  gentlemen  sitting  down  at  our  table,  talking 
and  chatting  for  half  an  hour.     It  seemed  to  her  so  ex- 


260        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

traordinary  a  proceeding  that  she  could  scarcely  believe 
that  they  were  there  officially,  or  even  that  they  belonged 
to  the  Police.  To  satisfy  herself  as  to  this  last  point  she 
asked  them  to  produce  their  badges,  which  they  promptly 
did.  If  Fraulein  Weigl  was  astonished  at  this,  it  at  once 
confirmed  my  suspicion  that  they  were  there  for  some  other 
purpose  than  a  practical  joke.  Of  course,  it  was  not 
within  the  duties  of  their  departments  to  inspect  schools. 
What  had  the  chief  of  the  secret  police  to  do  with  this? 
Still  more,  what  had  a  commissioner  in  special  charge  of 
the  Emperor  to  do  with  it?  On  the  other  hand,  was  it 
credible  that  they  should  use  their  office  for  the  purpose  of 
a  joke  upon  an  inoffensive  schoolmistress,  and  risk  the  loss 
of  their  high  positions,  or  at  least  expose  themselves  to  a 
severe  reprimand? 

More  than  ever  I  felt  the  necessity  of  being  on  my 
guard. 


CHAPTER  XXIII 

THE  END  OF  LOVE's  YOUNG  DEEAM 

TowABD  the  end  of  January,  Elsa's  mother  and  a  few 
other  ladies  prominent  in  Viennese  society  got  up  a  sort  of 
dancing  class,  in  which  their  young  people  might  be  taught 
some  of  the  national  dances,  such  as  the  Czardas  and  the 
PoHsh  Great  Mazurka.  I  had  learned  all  these  long  be- 
fore, but  Frau  von  Friese  thought  it  might  be  some  dis- 
traction for  me,  and  so  arranged  that  I  should  attend  the 
class  under  the  care  of  Mrs.  Kaiser  and  the  watchful  eye 
of  Pirker,  who  shadowed  me  everywhere.  Frau  von 
Friese  scarcely  knew  Frau  von  Thyr,  as  they  had  only 
met  accidentally  at  the  home  of  the  Kaisers;  and  as  Frau 
von  Thyr  was  a  conceited  and  arrogant  woman,  Frau  yon 
Friese  had  not  been  very  cordial  to  her.  I  suppose  that 
Frau  von  Thyr  really  knew  something  about  me,  and  also 
what  Frau  von  Friese's  position  was.  While,  being  widow 
of  a  field-marshal  and  very  well  connected  at  Court,  she 
preferred  not  to  be  too  closely  in  touch  with  my  aflPairs,  on 
the  other  hand  she  was  flattered  to  know  that  her  daugh- 
ter was  my  only  intimate  friend.  But  to  her  Mrs.  Kaiser 
had  to  appear  as  my  mother,  and  I  stiU  had  to  go  under 
the  latter's  care  wherever  I  might  be  invited.  Moreover, 
I  was  too  young  to  come  out  yet,  and  these  dancing  lessons 
were  only  a  preparation  for  a  later  introduction  into  the 
social  world,  for  one  of  the  essential  things  in  Austrian 
high  society  is  that  aU  its  members  must  be  perfect 
dancers.     This  was  one  of  the  few  things  in  which  I  may 

261 


262        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

boast  that  I  was  perfect.  I  did  not  particularly  wish  to 
go  to  the  class.  However,  as  my  mother  had  said  that  this 
was  to  be  my  last  year  spent  in  retirement,  I  was  indiffer- 
ent as  to  whether  I  continued  for  a  short  time  more  under 
the  guardianship  of  Mrs.  Kaiser,  which  had  already  con- 
tinued so  long.  I  was  eagerly  looking  forward  to  the 
time  when  I  could  rejoin  my  mother,  and  that  was  all  I 
cared  about.  I  felt  that  I  was  better  when  near  her,  less 
passionate  and  quick-tempered,  and  more  accustomed  to 
do  my  best  to  be  dignified.  As  I  grew  older  I  felt  the 
uncongeniality  of  the  sphere  in  which  I  was  moving. 
However,  the  society  at  these  dancing-lessons  was  very  ex- 
clusive, according  to  the  general  opinion,  even  to  the  point 
of  being  stiff  and  uninteresting. 

The  first  lesson  was  a  sort  of  introductory  dance,  at 
which  others  were  present  in  addition  to  those  actually 
joining  the  class. 

I  had  not  seen  Ferdinand  Fellner  for  months,  although 
I  spent  some  of  my  spare  moments  in  dreaming  of  him  and 
storing  up  his  memory  more  and  more  in  my  inmost  heart. 
Never,  after  the  interview  with  my  mother,  had  his  name 
been  mentioned  by  myself,  nor  by  anyone  else  in  my  pres- 
ence. It  might  easily  have  been  imagined  that  in  the 
lapse  of  time  I  had  forgotten  him. 

I  had  taken  Elsa  partly  into  my  confidence  with  regard 
to  my  love-affair,  telling  her  that  Mr.  Kaiser  thought  Fell- 
ner not  serious  enough  to  marry  me,  and  had  refused  his 
consent  on  account  both  of  this  and  of  my  extreme  youth. 
Elsa  was  by  nature  rather  discreet  and  uncommunicative, 
and,  although  she  could  not  but  know  that  my  life  was  one 
out  of  the  ordinary,  she  had  never  asked  me  about  it,  while 
I  had  not  told  her  anji;hing  about  it.  Frau  von  Friese 
had  expressly  warned  Mrs.  Kaiser  that  Fellner  must  not 


THE  END  OF  LOVE'S  YOUNG  DREAM  263 

be  present  at  these  lessons,  and  that,  if  he  were,  she  must 
be  informed,  so  that  I  might  absent  myself  on  those  occa- 
sions. I  guessed  from  what  Elsa  said  that  this  was  Frau 
von  Friese's  order.  For  my  governess  personally  con- 
ducted herself  in  my  presence  as  if  she  had  entirely  forgot- 
ten the  affair. 

How  it  happened  I  do  not  know.  There  was  a  misun- 
derstanding somehow.  Nothing  could  have  been  more 
imexpected  by  me  when,  shortly  after  I  had  entered  the 
ballroom,  I  heard  a  familiar  voice  behind  me  saying, 
"  Good  evening!    What  a  surprise  it  is  to  meet  you  here !  " 

I  was  so  troubled  that  I  could  not  speak,  and  the  hand 
I  gave  him  trembled.  He  also  seemed  troubled,  and  for 
a  moment  looked  quite  pale  and  embarrassed.  To  hide 
his  agitation  and  tide  us  both  through  this  awkward  situa- 
tion, he  forced  himself  to  assume  his  usual  mood  and  said 
gaily,  "  How  wonderfully  you  have  changed  I  How 
many  hearts  are  you  going  to  break  to-night?  " 

All  my  resolutions  melted  in  a  moment.  I  simply  could 
not  resist,  and  so  I  danced  too  much  with  him  that  even- 
ing. During  the  first  hour  I  tried  hard  to  control  myself 
a  httle;  but  after  that  I  abandoned  myself  to  the  enjoy- 
ment of  those  few  hours.  I  justified  my  conduct  to  my- 
self by  saying  that  I  was  not  harming  anyone ;  that  it  was 
my  last  farewell,  and,  above  all,  that  I  should  feel  hap- 
pier with  this  memory  in  my  heart. 

Mrs.  Kaiser  was  sitting  with  a  number  of  other  ladies 
and  paid  little  attention  to  me.  In  fact,  she  did  not  no- 
tice Ferdinand  Fellner  until  some  time  after  our  meet- 
ing, and  I  managed  not  to  let  her  see  me  with  him.  I  was 
engaged  for  supper  with  someone  else,  but  I  ventured  so 
far  as  to  tell  Fellner  to  sit  at  my  right  side  and  not  to  en- 
gage himself  to  another  partner.     Supper  was  served  at 


264        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

little  tables  in  different  rooms,  and  here  again  I  man- 
aged to  escape  Mrs.  Kaiser's  eyes. 

He  seemed  more  serious  this  evening  than  usual,  while 
I,  on  the  contrary,  was  more  lively  than  was  my  wont. 
My  partner  at  supper,  finding  that  I  paid  very  little  at- 
tention to  him,  conversed  altogether  with  his  neighbour 
on  the  other  side,  so  that  I  had  leisure  to  talk  to  Fellner. 
The  latter  was  so  noticeably  quiet  that  at  last,  near  the 
end  of  supper,  I  asked,  "  What  has  happened  to  you?  I 
do  not  seem  to  recognise  you  any  more." 

He  paused,  and  then  said  slowly,  "  In  the  first  place, 
I  am  preoccupied  about  my  final  examination;  and 
then  .  .  ."  He  paused,  and  looked  at  me.  As  I  did  not 
say  anything,  however,  he  went  on:  "  Can't  you  imagine? 
Don't  you  know  what  is  on  my  mind?  " 

I  continued  silent.  I  could  not  collect  the  thoughts  as 
they  rushed  through  my  head.  I  only  felt  of  a  sudden  in- 
expressibly sad. 

"  You  do  not  care  to  reply.  But  I,  who  have  so  rarely 
an  opportunity  of  talking  to  you,  shall  not  waste  it  this 
time.  I  know  your  people  think  me  dissipated  and  un- 
trustworthy. I  called  three  or  four  times  at  your  home, 
only  to  be  told  each  time  that  you  were  not  in.  I  under- 
stood from  this  that  I  was  no  longer  welcome  there,  and 
so  I  remained  away.  I  was  not  sure  whether  you  would  be 
here;  but  as  I  heard  that  her  Excellency  Frau  von  Thyr 
was  to  be  one  of  the  patronesses,  I  hoped  you  might  be 
present,  and  therefore  accepted  the  Baroness  von  Busch- 
mann's  invitation.  Otherwise  I  should  not  have  come,  as 
my  time  is  quite  absorbed  by  my  work.  But  now  I  have 
at  last  found  an  opportunity  of  speaking  to  you,  and  I 
shall  make  use  of  it." 

I  still  sat  staring  at  him,  unable  to  find  a  word  to  utter; 


THE  END  OF  LOVE'S  YOUNG  DREAI^I     265 

and  he  continued.  Was  I  displeased  with  him,  he  asked, 
for  speaking  Mke  this?  Could  I  not  guess  that  he  had 
been  striving  for  months  and  months  to  conquer  himself? 
He  grew  more  impassioned  still  as  I  remained  speechless. 
At  least  I  should  tell  him  that  I  knew  pf  his  love  for  me, 
and  that  I  would  accept  it.  He  had  worked  so  hard  at 
his  examinations,  to  prove  himself  worthy  of  me.  After 
his  final  he  would  be  a  qualified  architect,  and  his  father 
would  take  him  into  his  business.  The  firm  had  a  world- 
wide reputation,  and  he  could  say  without  conceit  that  no 
girl  could  have  a  reason  for  refusing  him. 

Then  he  seemed  to  lose  his  head.  Did  my  father  prefer 
some  idler  from  one  of  the  embassies,  he  demanded  — 
some  man  of  title  ?  He,  too,  could  be  a  baron.  His  father 
had  already  refused  the  honour,  but  could  have  it  still, 
if  that  were  what  I  wanted.  "  Can't  you  understand  how 
tortured  I  am?  "  he  concluded.  "  As  soon  as  I  am  through 
my  final  I  shall  go  straight  to  your  father.     I  must  have 

you!" 

Suddenly  the  veil  fell  from  before  my  eyes,  and  I  was 
as  if  awakened  from  a  dream.  I  must  stop  him,  must  not 
leave  him  in  uncertainty  any  longer.  Painfully  forcing 
back  the  tears,  I  said,  "  Ferry,  even  if  I  can  understand 
what  you  say,  perhaps  I  am  not  allowed  to  understand 
you.'' 

I  spoke  as  gently  as  I  could.  I  wished  at  one  and  the 
same  time  to  comfort  him  and  to  destroy  for  ever  all  his 
hopes.  But  he  altogether  misinterpreted  me,  as  I  saw  at 
once. 

"  Oh,  you  are  an  old-fashioned  girl,"  he  answered  with 
a  laugh.  "  It  can  easily  be  seen  that  you  have  always  been 
kept  as  if  in  a  convent.  You  are  afraid  of  papa's  strong 
will.     Perhaps  he  has  already  disposed  of  your  hand.     Let 


266        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

me  see  what  I  can  do.  I  will  soon  make  him  give  his  con- 
sent." 

I  was  just  on  the  point  of  saying,  "  For  goodness'  sake 
don't  act  too  hastily,"  when  everyone  began  to  rise  from 
the  table.  My  partner,  with  a  low  bow  and  many  apolo- 
gies for  being  compelled  to  disturb  me,  offered  me  his 
arm.  Behind  me  Fellner  laughed,  saying  in  a  joyful 
voice,  *'  Arrivederci !     Later  on  I  " 

But  I  had  no  opportunity  to  speak  to  him  again.  Mrs. 
Kaiser  had  at  last  noticed  that  he  was  seeking  me  out,  and 
every  time  he  tried  to  approach  me  either  Laura  or  Elsa 
was  immediately  at  my  side,  so  that  at  last  I  was  compelled 
to  go  home,  with  my  heart  full  of  anguish  and  almost  in 
despair.  One  moment  I  wished  to  whisper  to  him  that  I 
would  try  to  meet  him  somewhere,  but  immediately  my 
conscience  disapproved  of  an  action  which  at  that  time 
seemed  to  me  dreadful  —  apart  from  its  being  impos- 
sible. 

With  all  this  my  passion  had  blazed  up  stronger  than 
ever.  How  masterfully  he  had  spoken!  He  was  quite 
changed  since  last  summer.  He  had  suddenly  become  a 
man.  But  then  again  the  thought  forced  itself  upon  me 
on  what  a  desperate  and  hopeless  struggle  I  was  embark- 
ing. My  anguish  at  the  idea  of  his  going  to  speak  to  my 
guardian  was  indescribable.  More  than  ever  I  longed  for 
my  mother's  presence.  I  should  have  thrown  myself  at 
her  feet,  imploring  her  to  give  her  consent  to  this  union. 
It  seemed  to  me  that  it  was  destiny  which  had  caused  me  to 
be  brought  up  away  from  the  Court,  whereby  it  had  been 
possible  to  meet  him. 

But,  alas!  mother  was  far  away,  and  I  was  alone  with 
my  torturing  thoughts.  I  had  the  most  intense  need  of 
someone  in  whom  to  confide.     But  who  was  there?    And 


THE  END  OF  LOVE'S  YOUNG  DREAM  267 

now  I  committed  a  great  error,  for  I  deceived  the  one  per- 
son above  all  in  whom  I  should  have  had  confidence,  Frau 
von  Friese.  Instead  of  going  at  once  to  her,  I  trembled 
at  the  very  thought  of  doing  so.  Her  first  impulse,  I  felt, 
would  be  one  of  indignation,  and  afterwards  she  would 
lead  me  into  the  right  way.  But  I  had  no  desire  for  the 
right  way  then.  Frau  von  Friese  would  have  induced  me 
to  abandon  my  fantastic  ideas  at  once,  while  I  on  the  con- 
trary wanted  to  find  someone  who  would  indulge  my  pas- 
sion. Still,  the  great  reason  for  my  refusing  to  speak  to 
her  was,  as  I  have  said,  fear.  I  knew  how  implacably 
severe  she  could  be,  and  this  time  she  would  have  been 
quite  pitiless. 

Finally  I  took  a  step  which  should  have  been  the  very 
last  to  be  dreamt  of.  I  placed  myself  in  the  hands  of  Mrs. 
Kaiser,  hoping  that  she,  who  knew  the  whole  affair  from 
the  beginning,  would  help  me.  At  first  she  seemed  rather 
alarmed.  The  next  moment  she  laughed  over  this 
"  folly  "  of  mine,  as  she  called  it.  Yet  it  did  not  escape 
me  that  her  manner  of  speech  was  rather  forced,  and  I 
was  not  at  all  favourably  impressed  when  she  concluded: 
"  Well,  I  think  that  was  carrying  a  joke  rather  too  far. 
You  will  see  that  the  young  man  will  not  reappear. 
There  is  only  one  way  to  make  sure.  Let  us  wait  until 
his  examinations  are  over." 

And  so  I  waited  patiently.  Naively  I  failed  to  realise 
that  through  my  confession  to  Mrs.  Kaiser  I  had  given  her 
just  the  opportunity  which  enabled  her  surreptitiously  and 
without  great  difficulty  to  bring  the  whole  affair  to  an 
end. 

When  the  date  of  Ferdinand  Fellner's  examination  was 
past  my  uneasiness  began  to  grow  again.  Had  JNIrs. 
Kaiser  been  right?    Was  all  that  he  had  said  a  jest?     If 


268        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

that  were  so  I  never  could  endure  such  an  outrage  quietly. 
I  was  speculating  vainly  what  was  to  be  done  when,  quite 
unexpectedly,  I  saw  in  a  newspaper  that  his  mother  had 
died  suddenly.  Of  course,  I  immediately  found  an  excuse 
for  him  and  waited  patiently  again.  But,  though  I  had 
heard  nothing  from  him  since  our  last  meeting,  I  could  not 
consider  myself  free.  I  should  be  obliged  to  attend  the 
dancing  class  while  he  was  in  deep  mourning.  I  could 
not  do  that.  But  what  excuse  was  I  to  find?  This  was 
my  plan  for  the  first  week.  I  rubbed  the  skin  off  the 
ankle  of  my  right  foot  with  the  heel  of  the  left,  and  so 
made  what  looked  like  a  serious  enough  wound  to  prevent 
me  from  going  out.  I  thought  that  before  this  could  have 
time  to  heal  I  should  hear  from  him.  But  no  news 
came. 

My  next  step  was  certainly  most  audacious  and  impru- 
dent. I  must  have  parted  with  my  reason  to  ignore  com- 
pletely my  mother's  strict  orders  and  overlook  the  grief  I 
should  cause  her.  I  wrote  to  Ferdinand  Fellner.  In  my 
letter  I  asked  him  not  to  be  surprised  and  hurt  if  its  con- 
tents seemed  to  him  rather  frivolous.  It  was  intended  as 
an  apology  if  I  should  again  attend  the  dancing  class. 
As  I  had  heard  nothing  from  him  since  our  last  meeting, 
I  was  no  longer  able  to  stay  away  without  exciting  the 
suspicions  of  my  friends.  Besides  I  did  not  really  know 
whether  I  was  called  upon  to  do  so.  I  begged  him  to  write 
back  to  me. 

As  the  answer  must  come  to  my  guardians'  address,  to 
prevent  its  being  intercepted  before  reaching  me  I  bribed 
one  of  the  kitchen-maids  to  be  on  the  lookout  for  it.  A 
few  days  later,  after  I  had  suffered  tortures,  the  girl 
handed  me  a  black-bordered  envelope.  The  letter's  brief 
contents  were  as  follows :  — 


THE  END  OF  LOVE'S  YOUNG  DREA^I    269 

Dear  Miss  Lily, 

After  the  sad  event  which  has  just  happened,  I  do 
not  feel  at  present  in  the  mood  to  talk  about  anything  Hke 
the  subject  of  our  last  conversation,  and  therefore  beg  you 
to  consider  it  unspoken. 

Now  I  knew.  But  how  dreadful  was  that  knowledge! 
It  was  my  first  stunning  blow.  With  it  departed  my 
childhood  and  the  confidence  which  I  had  hitherto  had  in 
everyone.  I  lost  that  innocent  pleasure  in  life  which  had 
been  mine.  I  had  been  heartlessly  deceived ;  or  at  least  I 
thought  so,  for  of  course,  at  the  time,  I  blamed  him  for  all 
and  never  imagined  that  there  had  been  any  outside  inter- 
ference. 

In  later  years,  when  I  learned  that  Mr.  Kaiser  had 
given  Ferdinand  Fellner  to  understand  the  impossibility 
of  his  plans  concerning  me  and  had  advised  him  to  with- 
draw, I  changed  my  ideas  a  great  deal.  But  nothing 
could  give  me  back  my  lost  youth.  I  never  saw  him  again. 
He,  too,  I  afterwards  heard,  was  in  despair  at  the  unhappy 
ending  of  the  affair.  He  abandoned  himself  to  a  wild 
and  ruinous  life,  which  made  him  ill  for  years,  and  finally 
caused  his  premature  death. 

Only  after  I  received  the  unwelcome  intelligence  con- 
tained in  Fellner's  short  letter  did  it  occur  to  me  in  what  a 
disgraceful  manner  I  had  behaved  towards  my  mother. 
My  sole  consolation,  and  it  was  a  faint  one,  at  this  unhappy 
moment,  was  that  at  least  I  was  able  to  save  her  from  a 
worse  grief  I  might  have  caused  her.  As  I  recovered  from 
the  blow  I  could  readily  understand  how  much  greater  the 
misfortune  would  have  been  had  his  answer  been  favour- 
able to  my  wishes.  Now  I  could  see  how  utterly  impos- 
sible it  would  have  been  for  me  to  plead  with  my  poor 
mother  for  her  consent.  * 


270        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

I  had  scarcely  had  time  to  think  much  about  this,  how- 
ever, when,  like  a  flash  of  Hghtning  across  the  sky,  came 
the  following  telegram  from  mother  to  Frau  von  Friese :  — 

"  Bring  Caroline  at  once." 

Brief  as  was  the  message,  I  could  read  in  it  that  mother 
did  not  send  it  just  now  by  chance  alone,  and  I  was  afraid 
to  meet  her.  Yet,  in  spite  of  my  fear,  I  longed  for  her 
as  the  only  comfort  I  had,  the  only  person  who  could  give 
be  peace  again.  I  think  I  shall  never  forget  this  inter- 
view if  I  live  to  be  a  hundred  years  old. 

Mother  was  sitting  alone  in  the  drawing-room  of  our 
apartments  in  the  hotel  where  Frau  von  Friese  and  my- 
self were  staying  at  San  Remo.  This  time  I  did  not  stay 
in  the  same  hotel  as  mother. 

She  was  even  paler  than  usual,  and  her  features  wore  a 
hard,  marble-hke  expression  such  as  I  had  never  seen  be- 
fore on  her  dear  face.  At  the  sight  of  her  I  trembled 
from  head  to  foot.  Usually  we  hurried  into  each  other's 
arms;  but  this  time  she  remained  motionless.  Suddenly 
she  seemed  to  lose  patience,  and  then  she  said  in  a  voice 
that  was  almost  harsh:  "Do  you  dare  to  come  again  be- 
fore my  eyes?  " 

This  beginning  was  totally  unexpected.  I  felt  my  tears 
choke  me. 

"  You  have  deceived  me  and  lied  to  me.  I  suppose  you 
come  now  to  do  the  same  again." 

This  too  was  said  severely,  though  her  voice  had  some- 
what softened,  with  less  anger  and  more  reproach  in  it. 
I  remained  silent.  I  had  already  feared  that  she  might 
have  heard  something  of  what  I  had  done,  but  I  had  con- 
tinued to  hope  that  I  was  mistaken.  Her  manner  of 
greeting  me,  therefore,  came  like  a  bolt  from  the  blue. 


THE  END  OF  LOVE'S  YOUNG  DREAM  271 

My  fault  must  have  been  depicted  to  her  as  much  worse 
than  it  really  was. 

Misinterpreting  my  silence  as  obstinacy,  and  irritated 
at  the  absolute  quiet  which  reigned,  she  grew  angrier 
again;  but  this  time  it  was  a  deadly  quiet  anger,  for  she 
spoke  now  in  an  almost  icy  voice.  "  Madame  the  Arch- 
duchess (Frau  Erzherzogin)  does  not  seem  to  have  heard 
that  I  have  spoken  to  her,"  she  said. 

For  the  first  and  only  time  in  my  hfe  she  addressed  me 
by  this  title,  as  though  wishing  to  remind  me  of  what  I 
seemed  to  have  forgotten.  I  really  did  not  know  what  I 
could  say,  but  I  felt  that  I  must  give  some  sort  of  an  an- 
swer if  only  to  show  my  willingness  to  speak.  With  a 
superhuman  effort  I  forced  out  the  words,  "  I  have  heard, 
mother." 

Then  suddenly  something  seemed  to  restore  to  me  my 
strength,  and  determinedly  keeping  back  my  tears,  I  ex- 
claimed loudly:  "  I  never  lied  to  you,  mother,  and  it  is 
because  I  do  not  wish  to  do  so  to-day  that  I  have  taken  so 
long  to  make  my  reply."  All  my  pride  had  returned  to 
me,  and  I  continued:  "When  I  gave  you  my  promise 
in  the  Tyrol  last  summer,  I  intended  to  be  faithful  to  my 
word.  Circumstances  turned  my  head,  but,  even  in  the 
moment  of  my  greatest  passion,  I  never  thought  to  keep  a 
word  of  all  this  secret  from  you.  I  thought  of  rebellion, 
perhaps,  bui^  never  of  deceit." 

And  now  I  told  her  of  all  I  had  suffered ;  how  lonely  I 
had  felt,  especially  since  she  had  seemed  to  prefer  Aunt 
Mathilde's  company  to  mine;  and  how,  really,  it  had  been 
more  my  pride  than  anything  else  that  had  induced  me 
to  write  to  the  young  man.  With  this  I  took  out  the 
black-bordered  envelope  and  gave  it  to  her. 

She  did  not  know  of  the  letter's  existence  until  now,  and 


272       THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

this  at  last  convinced  her  that  I  had  intended  to  speak  to 
her.  It  was  the  final  necessary  proof  that  I  had  meant  to 
be  true  to  her.  She  was  deeply  moved  and  pulled  me 
toward  her.  Then,  holding  me  motionless  in  her  arms,  she 
looked  at  me  with  those  sad  eyes  of  hers,  in  which  the  tears 
had  come,  and  whispered:    "  My  poor,  lonely  girl!  " 

Her  expression  as  she  spoke  I  can  never  forget;  and 
even  now  when  I  am  feeling  most  miserable,  I  am  restored 
by  thinking  of  those  words:     "  My  poor,  lonely  girl!  " 

After  we  had  sat  together  Hke  this  for  a  short  time,  she 
began  to  speak  again :  "  We  have  to  give  up  many  things 
in  this  life,  child,  which  seem  to  us  sacred.  You  have 
early  to  learn  to  bow  to  this  rule.  Perhaps  there  will  some 
time  come  a  day  when  people  will  tell  of  a  princess  who 
had  to  renounce  what  was  sacred  to  her  for  the  sake  of  the 
people." 

"  But  how  could  it  be  I,  darling  mother? "  I  whispered 
in  reply.  "  What  have  my  sufferings  to  do  with  the  peo- 
ple? It  would  be  a  great  consolation  to  me  if  it  were  so! 
But  what  am  I  to  them? " 

But  now  mother  put  both  her  hands  over  my  eyes  and 
said:  "Once  you  promised  me  blind  obedience,  and  I 
promised  you  to  make  you  reach  the  goal  of  your  ambi- 
tions." 

Hearing  her  words  I  bowed  down  and  fervently  kissed 
her  hands.  And  with  this  my  first  dream  of  love  was  shat- 
tered for  ever. 


CHAPTER  XXIV 

OUR  LAST  DAYS  TOGETHEE 

I  REMAINED  but  twenty-four  hours  in  San  Remo  and  then 
returned  to  Vienna  for  a  short  while.  I  well  remember  in 
what  a  state  of  depression  I  was  and  how  I  cried  all  night 
while  the  sleeping-car  bore  me  away  from  my  mother 
again. 

We  were  not  long  separated  this  time,  however,  for  I 
passed  barely  a  week  in  Vienna  and  then  joined  her  once 
more  at  Territet.  Here  she  recovered  to  some  extent 
from  her  nervous  state,  and,  if  she  could  not  stand  the 
strain  of  long  walks,  we  were  at  least  able  to  take  short 
rambles  in  the  neighbouring  woods.  In  the  evenings  and 
at  night  we  talked  for  hours  of  many  things,  but  chiefly 
about  my  future. 

How  amusing  it  would  be  to  watch  the  astonishment  of 
all  the  people  who  knew  nothing  of  my  story,  when  they 
were  at  last  enlightened ! 

"  I  myself  will  go  with  you  to  pay  a  visit  to  Frau  von 
Thyr  and  her  daughter,"  said  my  mother.  "  And  then 
all  those  girls  who  were  your  companions  at  school  —  what 
will  they  say?  But,  Weiberl,  you  won't  be  conceited,  will 
you,  when  all  these  people  suddenly  bow  down  before  you 
and  everybody  turns  round  to  stare  at  you  in  the  streets? 
On  the  contrary,  it  must  prove  to  you  how  light  and 
frivolous  the  world  is." 

And  should  I  know  my  father  and  sisters?  I  asked. 

*'  Yes,  of  course,"  she  answered ;  but  I  felt  a  certain 
strangeness  in  the  tone  of  her  voice. 

273 


274       THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

Somewhat  embarrassed  at  this  I  continued :  "  I  wonder 
how  I  shall  get  on  with  them." 

"Very  well,  I  hope,  dear.  Anyhow,  they  will  not 
trouble  us  much.'* 

But  I  was  afraid  of  Valerie,  I  said.  I  did  not  know 
why,  but  I  did  not  think  she  would  like  me.  Mother,  how- 
ever, told  me  it  was  wrong  to  entertain  such  ideas.  Val- 
erie was  good  and  kind,  and  would  try  to  take  me  under 
her  sisterly  wing.  Probably  she  might  insist  upon  the  fact 
that  she  was  the  elder  sister,  whom  I  must  therefore  re- 
spect. But,  as  I  was  a  reasonable  person,  who  understood 
the  weak  points  of  others,  I  would  give  in  and  get  on  very 
well  with  her. 

On  one  of  the  last  days  of  our  stay,  mother  said  to  me : 
"  When  I  return  to  Vienna  I  shall  have  to  settle  all  the 
matters  connected  with  bringing  you  out.  This  year  is 
the  right  time." 

"  How  will  you  manage  to  do  it,  mother?  "  I  asked  ex- 
citedly. 

"  Very  simply,"  she  replied.  "  The  Emperor  will  have 
to  announce  officially  to  Parliament  that  the  Empress  and 
he  have  a  third  daughter  living,  who  has  been  educated 
away  from  the  Court,  and  who  will  be  introduced  on  the 
occasion  of  his  Jubilee.  It  will  not  make  any  trouble 
whatever.  All  is  in  order,  the  papers  and  everything. 
That  is  all  that  will  be  necessary." 

So  the  time  of  separations  was  almost  past,  the  date  of 
my  recognition  was  almost  at  hand.  The  days  dragging 
out  their  slow  length  were  scarcely  bearable  to  me  in  my 
increasing  impatience.  This  time  I  gladly  accepted  the 
parting  from  mother.  Was  I  not  longing  for  news  that 
my  future  was  decided  upon? 

We  returned  to  Vienna  in  the  first  week  of  April,  and 


OUR  LAST  DAYS  TOGETHER  275 

I  schooled  myself  as  best  I  could  to  await  the  outcome  of 
mother's  mission.  But  she  did  not  let  me  hear  anything 
for  a  few  days ;  and  then  Frau  von  Friese  received  only  a 
line  or  two,  stating  that  she  was  suddenly  indisposed  and 
must  leave  almost  immediately  for  Kissingen.  She  only 
came  to  bid  me  good-bye.  In  answer  to  the  questioning 
look  in  my  eyes,  she  said,  "  My  poor  darling,  I  feel  so 
miserable  all  at  once.  For  the  moment  my  nerves  will 
not  allow  me  to  undertake  what  I  intended." 

I  kissed  her  hand,  and  made  no  answer.  I  guessed  that 
there  was  some  quite  other  obstacle  than  the  question  of 
her  health.  But,  as  I  wished  to  make  her  beheve  that  I 
was  confident,  I  kept  silence. 

She  remained  with  me  only  a  short  time,  during  which 
I  could  see  how  she  was  tortured  by  the  thoughts  which 
she  wished  to  keep  to  herself.  Only  at  the  last,  when  she 
put  her  arms  about  me  and  gave  me  the  farewell  kiss,  did 
she  lose  countenance.  There  was  one  heart-breaking  sob 
from  her.  Neither  of  us  said  a  single  word  more.  It  was 
useless.     We  understood  without  words. 

Mother  remained  away  nearly  two  months,  going  first 
to  Kissingen,  and  after  that  to  Bruckenau.  The  weeks 
crawled  by  for  me  with  the  most  deadly  slowness.  I  was 
so  depressed  that  nothing  now  had  any  interest  for  me. 
I  tried  to  be  reasonable  and  succeeded  fairly  well  in  the 
daytime ;  but  at  night  I  could  not  get  any  sleep.  The  re- 
membrance of  that  long  last  sob  of  mother's  remained  in 
my  heart.  What  did  it  mean?  I  knew  that  there  must 
have  been  some  trouble  about  me,  but  I  could  not  imagine 
what  was  its  nature.  I  indulged  in  all  sorts  of  conjec- 
tures as  to  her  meeting  with  the  Emperor.  I  fancied  that 
he  had  been  abrupt,  perhaps  had  refused  point-blank  to  do 
what  mother  asked.     But  why  he  should  set  his   face 


276        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

against  me  I  could  not  make  out.  Or  had  mother  had  to 
fight  against  others,  with  whom  she  was  not  strong  enough 
to  contend?     It  was  a  great  enigma,  unsolvable  by  me. 

Toward  the  middle  of  June  mother  returned  to  Vienna. 
She  was  slightly  better,  but  what  was  wrong  with  her  was 
mental  rather  than  physical  trouble.  It  was  given  out 
ojSicially  that  she  needed  a  complete  rest,  and  that  Profes- 
sor Nothnagel  had  told  her  that  if  she  wished  to  recover 
speedily  she  should  see  as  few  people  as  possible,  and  not 
even  her  own  family.  The  truth,  of  course,  was  that  she 
was  at  the  moment  on  such  terms  with  the  family  that  she 
declined  to  see  any  of  them. 

Frau  von  Friese's  health  was  not  completely  restored 
yet,  although  she  w^as  much  better  than  before.  Professor 
Nothnagel  told  her  that  she  should  go  for  a  cure  to 
Franzensbad,  as  her  blood  was  in  a  poor  condition.  At 
first  she  thought  of  taking  me  with  her,  but  this  idea  was 
discountenanced  by  mother,  who  did  not  wish  me  to  be  ab- 
sent from  Vienna  while  she  was  there.  So  Frau  von 
Friese  went  alone  to  Franzensbad,  while  I  remained  at  my 
own  home  in  the  Strohgasse  with  Fraulein  Hain. 

During  the  month  of  June  the  Kaisers  were  again  at 
Voslau,  and  I  was  often  with  them  for  the  week-ends. 
Almost  every  day  I  met  mother  in  a  corner  of  her  park 
at  Lainz.  I  was  brought  to  a  side  entrance  by  my  coach- 
man, Franz  Schneider,  and  by  Pirker,  who  accompanied 
me  to  our  meeting-place.  There  he  left  me  and  waited 
sometimes  for  hours  until  I  returned.  This  dear  old  ser- 
vant was  the  one  person  besides  Frau  von  Friese  in  whose 
care  my  mother  trusted  me.  He  was  like  my  own  shadow 
to  me.  Nothing  could  be  a  sweeter  reward  to  him  than  to 
hear  mother  say  one  morning:  "Pirker,  you  are  my 
greatest  comfort.     I  don't  know  what  I  should  do  without 


OUR  LAST  DAYS  TOGETHER  277 

you.  As  long  as  I  know  you  are  near  my  daughter,  I  feel 
that  she  is  safe." 

I  must  say  here  that  mother  was  not  very  well  pleased 
at  Frau  von  Friese's  leaving  me  so  often  alone,  although 
she  could  do  nothing  to  prevent  it,  for  my  governess  was 
with  me  of  her  own  good  will,  and  not  by  regular  appoint- 
ment. Frau  von  Friese,  for  her  part,  was  of  the  opinion 
that  my  mother  was  needlessly  anxious  about  me,  and 
never  would  believe  that  I  was  really  in  danger.  JMore- 
over,  the  police  commissioner  who  acted  as  her  confidential 
agent  had  assured  her  that  there  was  nothing  planned 
against  me  at  present,  and  that  everything  seemed  safe. 

In  spite  of  Professor  Nothnagel's  advice,  mother  seemed 
to  have  trouble  about  her  all  the  time.  I  would  almost 
have  given  my  life  that  she  might  tell  me  what  was  going 
on ;  but  all  I  could  find  out  was  that,  as  I  have  already  said, 
she  was  on  bad  terms  with  all  the  members  of  her  family. 

On  July  2nd  she  left  for  Ischl.  Frau  von  Friese  was 
to  return  in  a  week's  time  and  to  accompany  me  there  too. 
"  I  hope  things  will  get  on  better  now,"  were  mother's 
last  words.  "  I  think  that  you  will  be  able  to  join  me 
again  toward  the  middle  of  the  month." 

And  now  Frau  von  Friese  had  returned  from  Franzens- 
bad,  and  everything  was  in  readiness  for  our  departure. 
We  only  awaited  the  final  order  from  mother.  On  the 
18th  came  the  letter  we  were  expecting,  but,  to  our  aston- 
ishment, not  from  Ischl,  but  from  Munich. 

"  I  am  on  my  way  to  Nauheim,"  she  wrote.  "  Left 
Ischl  quite  unexpectedly.  Will  tell  you  all  when  we  meet. 
Join  me  at  once  at  Nauheim." 

More  trouble,  I  thought  to  myself.  And  I  was  not  mis- 
taken. This  time  mother  concealed  nothing  from  me. 
She  told  me  that  for  many  months  she  had  been  taking 


278        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

steps  to  effect  my  recognition,  but  that  new  difficulties  kept 
cropping  up.  As  long  ago  as  the  previous  autumn  she 
had  talked  matters  over  with  the  Emperor.  At  first  he 
had  been  quite  willing  to  discuss  the  subject.  But  gradu- 
ally those  in  his  confidence  had  turned  him  against  it.  He 
suddenly  made  an  objection  to  my  broad-minded  system  of 
education,  said  he  was  afraid  this  would  have  a  bad  effect 
at  Court,  and  so  on. 

Mother  did  not  know  what  to  do,  when  she  was  ap- 
proached by  the  Jesuits  through  the  medium  of  Cardinal 
Steinhuber.  The  Cardinal  in  his  younger  days  had  been 
religious  instructor  in  the  house  of  my  grandfather,  the 
Duke  Max  in  Bavaria,  and  had  taught  the  daughters.  He 
was,  therefore,  personally  acquainted  with  my  mother. 

The  Jesuits'  proposal  was  that  if  they  assisted  mother 
with  regard  to  me  she  must  use  her  influence  in  support 
of  certain  privileges  which  they  claimed  in  Hungary ;  and, 
secondly,  she  must  send  me  to  a  convent  for  three  years. 
She  could  not  agree  to  these  conditions,  and  particularly 
not  to  the  latter.  She  had  a  great  affection  for  the  Hun- 
garians, and  would  not  work  against  their  prejudices,  while 
as  to  me  it  is  hardly  necessary  to  say  that  she  never  dreamt 
of  yielding.  Such  a  plan  would  either  destroy  the  fruits 
of  a  careful  education  or  else  would  entail  upon  me  a  life 
of  misery,  as  it  was  too  late  now  for  the  convent  rule  to 
influence  me. 

I  believe  that  the  Cardinal  personally  did  all  he  could 
to  help  mother.  But  the  Jesuits  would  not  abate  their 
terms  in  the  least.  The  only  result  was  that  they  became 
more  hostile  to  us.  In  vain  mother  tried  to  win  over  the 
Emperor  single-handed. 

There  had  been  violent  scenes  at  Ischl.  Mother  threat- 
ened to  appeal  to  Hungary.     She  suddenly  left  Ischl  and 


OUR  LAST  DAYS  TOGETHER         279 

went  abroad,  causing,  as  she  wished,  the  more  sensation 
because  she  ahnost  invariably  stopped  at  Ischl  over  the 
Emperor's  birthday. 

When  she  told  me  of  all  this  she  added  excitedly: 
"  And  Austria  shall  not  see  me  again  until  you  have  been 
given  your  rights.  They  know  that  I  adliere  to  what  I 
say.  I  have  given  them  proofs  of  that.  They  shall  come 
tome!" 

And  now  one  morning  she  hastened,  full  of  joy,  to  meet 
me,  waving  her  hand  to  me  from  afar  in  token  of  triumph. 
She  was  happy,  as  I  had  not  seen  her  for  a  long  time. 

"  Weiberl,"  she  called  out,  when  she  was  still  a  little 
distance  away,  "  you  see,  they  are  coming  to  me  now !  I 
knew  it.  I  had  a  message  to-day  from  the  Emperor. 
He  wants  to  meet  me  here,  or  else  in  a  few  weeks'  time  at 
Territet,  or  somewhere  in  Switzerland,  to  talk  matters 
over  with  me  again.  He  wishes  to  make  his  announce- 
ment on  December  2nd,  and  we  will  fix  the  date  when  I 
am  to  present  you  to  him  and  your  sisters." 

Hearing  her  words,  I  began  to  tremble.  I  felt  as  if  a 
great  weight  were  pressing  upon  my  heart.  Why  did  I 
hesitate  for  some  time  before  I  could  join  in  my  mother's 
pleasure?  What  was  it  that  almost  made  the  tears  come 
to  my  eyes?  Why  did  I  feel  so  sorry  for  mother  at  that 
moment  ?  Why  did  I  throw  myself  into  her  arms  to  avoid 
the  necessity  of  speaking?  I  could  not  have  explained  my 
emotion  at  the  time.  But  to-day  I  know  that  it  was  one 
of  those  uncanny  presentiments  which  flash  upon  the  soul 
and  prepare  it  for  what  is  to  come. 

I  stopped  about  three  weeks  with  mother  at  Nauheim. 
As  usual,  the  time  was  all  delightful  while  I  was  near  her. 
But  how  awful,  how  ghastly  it  is  to  be  compelled  to  add 
that  this  was  the  last  time  that  we  were  ever  together  I    It 


280        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

is  beyond  my  powers  to  describe  this  final  stay  with  her. 
When  I  try  to  recollect  that  time,  so  full  of  sunshine,  my 
eyes  are  bhnded  with  tears,  and  I  cannot  see  what  I  am 
writing. 

How  could  anyone  else  realise  what  sufferings  are  mine 
again  and  again,  whenever  I  think  of  this  unconscious  fare- 
well between  mother  and  myself?  It  is  an  agony  which 
can  never  be  exhausted  until  the  last  day  of  my  life. 
When  the  memory  comes  back  to  me,  I  feel  like  a  deserted, 
lonely  child,  calling  in  vain  for  "  mother."  My  whole  soul 
cries  out  for  her  in  whom  I  lost  not  merely  the  best  and 
most  loving  of  mothers,  but  everything  in  the  world,  every- 
thing indefinite  and  unmeasurable. 

In  this  death  there  lay  for  me  such  terrible  misery  as,  I 
believe,  few  beings  have  ever  had  to  undergo.  But  my 
pen  is  unequal  to  the  task  of  picturing  it.  Can  I  convey 
my  thought  when  I  say  that  from  the  moment  of  her  death 
I  imderstood  the  custom  of  the  ancients,  who  in  the  in- 
tensity of  their  grief  rent  their  garments  and  tore  their 
hair?  I,  too,  have  this  feeling,  and  as  the  remembrance 
comes  back  to  me  I  have  an  overmastering  desire  to  throw 
myself  upon  the  ground  and  rend  everything  upon  me. 

But  I  may  not  do  such  things;  and,  instead,  the  ever- 
burning anguish  must  remain  pent  up  in  my  soul,  invisible 
to  all  the  world  —  in  which  there  is,  happily  for  himself, 
no  man  who  could  comprehend  it  to  the  full. 


CHAPTER  XXV 

THE   HAND   OF   FATE 

In  the  first  half  of  August,  1898,  I  went  with  Frau  von 
Friese  to  Portschach,  in  Karinthia,  to  stay  with  the 
Kaisers.  Mother  did  not  wish  to  keep  me  with  her  at  the 
moment  lest  she  should  appear  to  the  Emperor  to  be  act- 
ing out  of  mere  stubbornness.  Her  own  immediate  re- 
turn to  Austria  would  have  been  too  abrupt,  while  if  I 
had  remained  at  Nauheim  it  would  have  looked  like  flout- 
ing the  Emperor's  desires.  So  with  a  heavy  heart  she 
let  me  go. 

Frau  von  Friese  stopped  at  Portschach  several  days. 
Then,  on  August  23rd,  she  left  for  Denmark.  She  had 
originally  intended  to  go  there  later  on.  But,  as  mother 
wrote  that  she  wanted  us  to  join  her  in  Switzerland  about 
the  middle  of  September,  she  decided  to  go  away  now  and 
return  in  good  time  to  make  preparations  for  our  journey 
to  Switzerland.  Pirker  and  my  maid  remained  in  special 
charge  of  me,  and  with  them  I  was  to  travel  in  a  few  weeks' 
time  to  Innsbruck  to  rejoin  Frau  von  Friese. 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Kaiser  had  leased  the  villa  No.  1  attached 
to  the  hotel  to  which  they  had  applied  for  rooms,  the 
"  Etablissement  Wahliss."  We  took  our  meals  at  the  res- 
taurant of  the  establishment  itself.  It  was  the  height  of 
the  season  when  I  arrived  at  Portschach.  I  never  had 
any  great  liking  for  the  place  from  the  first,  and  to-day 
its  memory  is  detestable  to  me.  It  was  at  the  time  of 
which  I  am  writing  neither  a  cosy  little  summer  resort, 

281 


282        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

like  Veldes  for  instance;  nor  an  elegant  spot,  like  Gmun- 
den  in  particular;  nor  yet  a  gay  and  luxurious  watering- 
place,  such  as  people  flock  to  in  the  summer.  It  was  noth- 
ing special,  but  set  up  to  be  grand.  The  people  there 
dressed  themselves  much  with  no  reason  for  doing  so. 
The  amusements  were  forced  and  hollow.  Everybody  in 
the  place  knew  everybody  else,  but  they  were  of  such  dif- 
ferent social  ranks  that  no  one  really  was  on  intimate 
terms  with  his  neighbour.  The  principal  distraction  was 
the  lake,  which  was  certainly  delightful  for  swinmciing  and 
boating.  Then  there  was  bicycling,  which  was  at  that 
time  much  in  vogue.  I  learnt  to  ride  there,  and  we  used 
to  spend  the  mornings  in  the  water  and  the  afternoons  on 
the  bicycle  —  a  vehicle  which  I  loathed  from  the  moment 
I  first  mounted  it.  I  loved  horse-riding  too  much  ever  to 
have  any  sympathy  for  this  mechanical  sport. 

And  now  I  have  arrived  at  the  most  terrible  and  tragic 
moment  of  my  life.  My  mother,  my  darling,  adored 
mother,  went  from  me  for  ever! 

It  was  a  cool,  grey  day  in  September  —  that  is  to  say, 
I  cannot  be  certain  if  the  weather  was  grey  and  the  sky 
overcast  or  not ;  but  it  is  grey  and  gloomy  in  my  memory. 

Nor  can  I  say  how  we  spent  the  day.  My  foster-father 
was  in  Vienna,  and  I  was  alone  with  his  wife  and  daugh- 
ter. We  were  going  home  to  the  villa  after  supper.  It 
was,  I  suppose,  getting  on  for  nine  o'clock.  On  the  way 
back  we  met  one  of  the  servants  of  the  establishment,  who 
cried  out  to  us,  "  Have  the  ladies  heard  the  dreadful 
news? " 

"  No;  what  has  happened? "  we  all  asked. 

"  The  Empress  has  been  assassinated  I  " 

Had  he  at  that  instant  plunged  a  dagger  into  my  heart. 


THE  HAND  OF  FATE  283 

the  agony  could  not  have  been  worse  than  what  I  ex- 
perienced then.  My  throat  felt  as  though  someone  were 
strangling  me.  My  temples  roared,  and  the  ground 
imder  my  feet  rocked  like  the  waves  of  the  sea.  I  remem- 
bered no  more  until  I  found  myself  in  my  bedroom. 
Laura  told  me  afterwards  that  with  a  great  effort  I 
managed  to  walk  to  the  villa.  I  myself  recall  that  when 
I  entered  my  room  it  seemed  to  me  dimly  lighted ;  and  then 
I  lost  consciousness.  Oh,  why  had  I  to  wake  again  — 
to  wake  with  an  awful  awakening,  which  has  ever  since 
that  moment  been  like  a  ghastly  nightmare  to  me? 

So  all  was  over.  This  was  the  last  act  of  my  happy, 
simny  youth.  My  mother  had  gone  from  me  for  ever. 
My  darling  one,  farewell! 

It  requires  an  almost  superhxmian  eflPort  to  describe  this 
period  of  my  life.  To  do  so  I  have  to  re-live  every  min- 
ute of  it,  and  that  is  a  martyrdom  which  no  one  can  realise. 

Only  after  several  hours  did  I  recover  from  my  swoon ; 
that  is  to  say,  I  opened  my  eyes,  but  I  was  unable  to  move. 
My  head  was  burning  as  with  red-hot  irons.  The  doctor 
was  fetched,  and  bags  of  ice  were  applied.  After  this  I 
must  have  fallen  asleep.  It  was  the  next  morning  that 
the  real  awakening  came.  I  remember  I  unclosed  my 
eyes  and  found  myself  alone.  The  dreadful  truth  flashed 
upon  my  mind  again.  My  darling  mother  had  gone  from 
me  for  ever.  Not  knowing  what  I  did,  I  screamed  out 
"Mother!"  Then,  breaking  into  pitiful  sobs,  I  buried 
my  face  in  my  pillows. 

Laura,  who  was  in  the  adjoining  room,  heard  my  cry 
and  hurried  to  my  bedside.  She  was  very  kind,  and 
threw  her  arms  about  me,  and  I,  without  the  strength  to 
resist,  let  her  do  as  she  wished. 

Everyone  in  the  place  tried  to  comfort  me  and  to  bring 


284        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

a  little  calm  to  me.  But  their  words  almost  drove  me 
mad,  and  in  order  to  rid  myself  of  them  I  would  not 
answer  at  all,  and  remained  motionless  in  the  bed.  In 
fact,  I  felt  quite  unable  to  weep  in  any  person's  presence. 
It  seemed  to  me  like  a  profanation  to  share  my  grief  with 
anyone  else.  This  obstinate  silence  on  my  part  had  at 
last  the  effect  of  making  those  about  me  fear  for  my 
reason.  Dr.  Fischer,  who  was  attending  me,  ordered 
them  to  let  me  stay  in  bed  some  little  time,  as  he  was 
afraid  of  brain  fever.  So  I  remained  thus  for  several 
days,  almost  without  moving. 

One  morning,  however,  they  brought  me  a  letter  from 
Frau  von  Friese,  after  having  debated  for  a  time  whether 
they  ought  to  give  it  to  me  or  not.  They  had  finally  de- 
cided to  do  so,  in  the  hope  that  it  might  have  a  good  effect 
and  also  help  to  put  life  into  me. 

"  My  poor,  dear  child,"  Frau  von  Friese  wrote.  "  A 
dreadful  misfortune  has  befallen  you,  my  poor  child.  But 
you  must  know  that,  at  this  moment  of  the  utmost  anguish 
and  suffering,  you  will  show  the  most  respect  for  the 
memory  of  your  dear  dead  mother  if  you  exhibit  courage, 
patience,  and  dignity  in  bearing  the  heaviest  blow  that 
Fate  could  possibly  deal  you.  Remember  always  what 
she  used  to  expect  of  you.  Remember  that  you  are  her 
daughter,  and  that  you  must  show  yourself  worthy  of 
her.  Remember,  too,  the  nobility  with  which  she  bore  all 
her  sorrows,  and  remembering  this  it  will  be  easier  for  you 
also  to  bear  up  against  all  the  miseries  of  this  life. 

*'  How  dreadful  it  is  for  me  to  be  prevented,  even  for  a 
short  time,  from  coming  to  you,  it  is  unnecessary  for  me 
to  say.  But  it  will  not  be  long  now,  only  a  few  days  more, 
my  poor  child,  before  I  shall  be  able  to  hold  you  once 
again  in  my  arms.    I  am  the  only  person  (may  I  say?) 


THE  HAND  OF  FATE  285 

who  can  be  to  you  a  little  of  that  one  who  has  been  torn 
away  from  you  so  cruelly.  Great  changes  may  soon  come 
to  you;  but  in  all  circumstances  of  life  you  will  remember 
where  you  can  find  the  heart  that  bears  for  you  the  most 
motherly  love  in  this  lonely  world. 

"  Courage,  my  brave  girl!  Think  of  the  one  who  now 
looks  down  from  heaven  upon  you,  and  who  is  so  much 
happier  than  we." 

Until  the  time  when  I  read  this  letter  I  had  not  even 
made  an  effort  to  take  in  ideas.  A  terrible  gloom  had 
reigned  over  me,  robbing  me  of  all  my  strength.  Now, 
for  the  first  time  since  my  blow,  I  had  another  feeling  than 
that  of  anguish  alone.  Unconsciously  I  had  been  wait- 
ing for  Frau  von  Friese,  and  I  was  disappointed  that  she 
had  not  come.  But  in  spite  of  this  her  kind  words  aroused 
me  a  little.  I  could  not  read  between  the  lines,  or  else  I 
should  have  known  that  what  she  was  saying  to  me  was  in 
reality  her  own  eternal  farewell. 

For  a  moment  I  could  see  quite  vividly  the  dear  sad 
eyes  of  my  mother,  and  she  was  saying  again  to  me  that 
which  she  had  so  often  said  to  me  before:  "Babe,  be 
reasonable." 

At  this  remembrance,  for  the  last  time  I  burst  into 
tears.  But  as  soon  as  that  was  over,  forcing  myself  to 
activity,  I  rose  from  my  bed.  When  those  about  me 
wished  to  prevent  it,  I  said:  **  Let  me  go  into  the  open 
air.     It  will  do  me  good." 

Then  I  begged  Laura  to  row  me  over  to  the  other  shore 
of  the  lake,  to  Maria  Worth.  This  is  a  quaint  httle  place, 
with  a  very  old  church  standing  at  the  back,  and  on  an  ad- 
joining hill  is  the  churchyard,  overlooking  the  quiet  blue 
lake.     Several  times  before  I  had  been  there  and  had 


286        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

thought  how  beautiful  it  would  be  to  be  laid  there  one  day 
for  my  last  eternal  rest.  Now  I  was  standing  here  again, 
not  to  be  buried  myself,  but  to  bury  the  golden  time  of 
my  youth. 

One  never  has  the  consciousness  of  one's  life  as  a  single 
and  complete  whole.  At  first  one  develops  vigorously 
and  pushes  on  to  the  height  of  one's  physical  and  mental 
powers ;  but  before  ever  that  is  reached  one  begins  slowly 
to  die.     This  day  in  the  churchyard  my  death  began. 

My  struggles,  however,  were  only  just  at  their  com- 
mencement. Above  all  I  wished  to  hurry  back  to  Vienna. 
I  wanted  to  see  Her  once  more,  for  the  very  last  time. 
But  this  could  not  be  allowed.  For  one  thing,  I  had  not 
the  physical  strength  to  travel  to  Vienna.  And  besides 
how  could  I  go,  like  some  mere  stranger,  to  her  bier  ?  On 
the  other  hand,  it  was  impossible  at  that  moment  to  make 
any  special  arrangements  for  me.  The  dreadful  truth 
almost  drove  me  mad.  All  my  pride  rebelled  at  the  idea 
that  I  was  not  able  at  once  to  communicate  with  my  rela- 
tives. 

At  this  time  my  foster-father,  who  had  arrived  in 
Portschach  again  a  few  days  after  the  tragedy,  came 
closer  to  my  heart  than  any  of  them,  and  his  presence  did 
the  most  to  calm  me.  With  deep  gratitude  I  look  back 
on  the  memory  of  this  old  man  —  he  was  very  old  then, 
about  seventy,  and  quite  broken  down  with  grief  too  — 
as,  with  the  utmost  earnestness  he  could  command,  he 
tried  to  make  me  reason  properly. 

"  For  the  sake  of  your  mother,  my  dear  child,  you 
must  endure  it.  You  cannot  make  any  trouble  at  this 
time." 

These  words  of  his  were  the  wisest  thing  he  could  have 
said.     Yes,  for  mother's  sake  I  must  endure  it. 


THE  HAND  OF  FATE  287 

And  yet  what  more  cruel  and  inhuman  Calvary  can  be 
conceived  than  is  conveyed  in  this  sentence,  The  child 
may  not  weep  out  her  grief  for  the  loss  of  her  mother,  nor 
bid  her  a  last  farewell? 

Amid  all  this  of  which  I  have  been  telling,  it  could  not 
remain  hidden  from  me  that  my  foster-parents  were  really 
placed  in  a  very  awkward  position.  At  first  it  was  given 
out  that  I  had  met  with  an  accident,  that  I  had  taken  an 
overdose  of  morphine,  intended  to  relieve  a  cough  I  had. 
But,  afterwards,  what  excuse  could  be  found  for  mj^  ex- 
traordinary grief?  Why  should  I  suddenly  have  become 
a  hater  of  the  world?  Yet  it  would  have  been  absolutely 
impossible  for  me  to  meet  anybody. 

When  the  first  week  had  passed  by,  I  began  to  be  better 
able  to  understand  the  position.  The  last  thing  I  wished 
was  to  be  the  slightest  burden  to  anyone.  My  soul  re- 
volted at  such  a  thought,  and  so  I  begged  Laura  to  talk 
as  much  as  possible  to  me,  that  I  might  have  practice  in 
learning  to  dissemble  my  feelings.  With  my  own  feet  I 
wished  to  trample  upon  my  heart.  And  little  by  little 
I  succeeded. 

I  think  I  must  actually  have  gone  off  my  head  for  a 
time.  In  the  presence  of  strangers  I  had  never  been  as 
highspirited  as  then;  for,  of  course,  it  was  impossible  to 
hold  the  balance  properly.  To  those  about  me  this  state 
of  mind  seemed  a  happy  deliverance.  Had  they  not  been 
—  how  shall  I  express  myself  properly?  —  so  inexpe- 
rienced in  matters  of  grief,  they  would  not  have  accepted 
the  sacrifice. 

After  all  was  over  we  went  back  to  Vienna.  Vienna  I 
how  terrible,  how  awful  it  was!  I  really  did  not  live 
then.  It  was  a  sort  of  evil  dream;  otherwise  it  would 
have  killed  me. 


288        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

Naturally  I  resided  with  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Kaiser,  but  this 
in  itself  mattered  nothing,  it  had  happened  so  often  be- 
fore. The  household  in  the  Strohgasse  was  kept  on  for 
a  time.  I  had  insisted  upon  that.  Was  I  not  waiting 
for  Frau  von  Friese,  who  would  then  take  steps  with  me 
for  securing  my  recognition?  No  one  spoke  about  this 
matter,  nor  did  I  speak  to  anyone.  I  preferred  that  none 
but  she  should  interfere  in  these  affairs. 

About  a  week  after  our  return  to  Vienna  I  was  told 
that  Frau  von  Friese  had  suddenly  become  so  ill  that  she 
could  not  come  back  at  once.  A  short  letter  was  shown 
to  me  from  her  relatives,  giving  the  bad  news  and  saying 
that  she  was  not  even  able  to  write  herself.  What  could 
I  do?  This  was  one  blow  upon  another.  My  darling 
mother  had  gone  from  me  for  ever.  Was  my  guardian, 
too,  going  for  ever?  It  seemed  as  if  some  di-eadful  fate 
held  me  fast  in  its  grip.  With  perverse,  almost  fiendish 
cruelty  to  myself,  I  laughed  at  my  misfortunes. 

The  weeks  went  slowly  dragging  on.  From  time  to 
time  letters  came  from  Denmark,  saying  that  the  physi- 
cians believed  that  Frau  von  Friese  had  cancer.  One 
morning  in  December  I  was  sitting  at  the  piano,  playing 
with  the  same  lack  of  interest  that  I  now  showed  in  every- 
thing else.  Purposely  I  had  devoted  myself  to  music, 
because  every  tone  of  it  almost  was  as  a  new  wound  to  my 
heart.  Music  was  always  to  me  the  most  sublime  influ- 
ence that  there  is  in  the  world.  Every  melody  conveys 
its  own  story;  and  now  the  sadder  it  made  me  the  more 
I  loved  it. 

As  I  have  said,  it  was  one  morning  in  December.  ]\Irs. 
Kaiser  came  into  the  room,  but  I  paid  no  attention  to  her, 
as  she  often  used  to  come  and  go.  So  she  had  to  speak 
to  me  to  attract  my  notice. 


THE  HAND  OF  FATE  289 

"  Lily,"  she  began,  "  I  have  had  some  very  sad  news, 
especially  for  you." 

I  stopped  playing,  and  looked  at  her.  It  was  needless 
for  her  to  say  any  more.  I  knew  she  was  bringing  me 
intelligence  of  Frau  von  Friese's  death.  But  as  I  re- 
mained silent  she  continued :  "  Poor  Frau  von  Friese  is 
dead." 

It  may  seem  incredible,  but  I  said  nothing.  I  only 
stared  at  Mrs.  Kaiser  for  a  moment  and  then,  as  if  noth- 
ing had  happened,  I  went  on  playing. 

Mrs.  Kaiser  had  expected  a  violent  outburst.  She 
gazed  at  me  in  amazement.  Next,  thinking  what  she  had 
so  often  thought  before,  that  I  had  gone  mad,  she  asked 
in  a  low  voice:     *'  Lily,  did  you  hear  me?  " 

"  Yes,"  I  replied.  It  was  all  I  had  the  energy  to  say; 
but  I  continued  at  the  piano.  Shaking  her  head,  she  left 
the  room.  For  a  few  minutes  I  played  on  convulsively, 
and  only  when  I  knew  that  I  was  alone  again  did  my 
hands  drop  slowly  from  the  instrument  to  my  knees. 

I  had  lost  the  last  thing  that  was  dear  to  me  on  this 
earth. 

As  when  at  night,  on  some  lonely  road,  the  last  light 
suddenly  goes  out  and  plunges  the  belated  wanderer  in 
profound  darkness,  so  it  was  with  me  now. 

My  poor  beloved  Aya,  not  one  tear  did  I  shed  for  you. 
My  tears  were  exhausted;  I  could  cry  no  more. 


CHAPTER  XXVI 

ALONE  IN   THE  WORLD 

After  the  shock  of  the  news  of  my  dear  Frau  von  Friese's 
death,  I  seemed  suddenly  to  enter  upon  a  totally  new 
life.  So  long  as  my  two  loved  ones  lived  I  had  no  right 
to  dispose  of  my  future ;  but  now  it  was  different.  I  had 
no  right  to  stand  still.  I  had  but  existed  until  now,  hence- 
forward I  must  act. 

So  finally  one  day,  as  I  was  sitting  with  Mrs.  Kaiser 
in  her  room,  I  said  to  her,  *'  I  really  think  that  it  is  time 
for  me  to  do  something." 

"  What  do  you  mean  by  doing  something? "  she  in- 
quired. 

"  What  do  I  mean?  Why,  to  get  in  touch  with  my 
relatives,  to  remind  them  that  I  am  in  the  world." 

"  But  why  this  hurry?  "  asked  Mrs.  Kaiser.  "  Is  there 
anything  more  you  want  here?  Have  you  anything  to 
complain  of  ? " 

"  I  am  not  complaining,"  I  answered,  somewhat  an- 
noyed, "  but  I  do  not  think  anything  you  can  do  is  suf- 
ficient to  compensate  me  for  the  loss  of  what  I  am  expect- 
ing." 

"  You  are  a  fool! "  cried  Mrs.  Kaiser,  all  of  a  sudden 
growing  angry.  "  Go,  then,  and  make  a  scandal.  They 
will  soon  know  how  to  shut  your  mouth.  They  will  put 
you  into  an  asylum  or  a  convent.  Please  leave  me  alone, 
and  don't  bother  me  with  your  complaints." 

290 


ALONE  IN  THE  WORLD  291 

Though  inwardly  I  rebelled  at  her  tone,  I  kept  silence; 
for  I  knew  that  when  she  lost  her  temper  it  was  useless 
to  argue  with  her.  But  that  did  not  prevent  me  from  tak- 
ing advantage  of  the  first  opportimity  to  reopen  the  sub- 
ject. This  time  Mrs.  Kaiser  seemed  better  prepared. 
She  maintained  her  calm,  and  said  that  she  had  spoken 
about  the  matter  to  her  husband,  and  that  they  were  both 
of  the  opinion  that,  so  long  as  my  relatives  took  no  steps, 
it  would  be  dangerous  for  me  to  do  so  on  my  part.  Then 
she  asked,  quite  gently,  "  Don't  we  do  all  we  can  to 
make  you  happy? " 

When  she  spoke  like  this,  my  mood  grew  softer,  and  I 
began  really  to  think  myself  ungrateful.  I  recognised 
that  the  Kaisers  did  their,  best  for  me,  and  were  exceed- 
ingly kind.  In  fact,  they  made  little  difference  between 
Laura  and  myself.  An  outsider  might  merely  have  sup- 
posed that  Laura  was  rather  the  favourite  of  two  sisters. 
This  means  much,  for  it  showed  at  any  rate  that  they 
treated  me  as  a  daughter  whom  they  loved. 

At  first,  then,  Mrs.  Kaiser's  attitude  impressed  me. 
Yet,  after  a  short  period  of  reflection,  the  old  longing 
came  back  upon  me,  and  I  went  again  for  the  third  time 
to  speak  to  her  on  the  subject. 

"  So  you  won't  leave  me  in  peace? "  she  exclaimed.  "  I 
must  explain  matters  more  clearly,  it  seems."  And  now, 
though  perhaps  unintentionally,  she  struck  the  death- 
blow to  all  my  hopes. 

"I  will  tell  you  the  truth  bluntly,"  she  continued. 
"  You  are  old  enough  to  understand  now,  and  perhaps 
I  shall  have  some  peace  when  you  have  heard  what  I  have 
to  say." 

My  heart  beat  faster  and  faster,  and  I  felt  my  head 


292        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

beginning  to  swim.  I  knew  that  she  was  going  to  tell 
me  something  dreadful.  I  have  said  before  that  she  was 
a  woman  who  took  no  pains  to  soften  her  words. 

"  You  know  very  well,"  she  now  said  abruptly,  "  that 
your  mother  and  the  Emperor  never  agreed.  Is  it  any 
wonder,  then,  that  they  went  separate  ways,  and  as  far 
as  possible  sought  consolation  elsewhere? " 

At  these  words  of  hers  I  started  as  if  bitten  by  a 
snake.  But  immediately  she  overwhelmed  me  with  her 
speech. 

"  Now,  don't  try  to  play  any  comedy  upon  me.  What 
is  the  use  of  mincing  matters?  We  are  by  ourselves.  I 
should  never  speak  like  this  in  the  presence  of  others. 
But  I  must  make  you  understand  now  that  you  must  keep 
quiet  for  your  mother's  sake,  if  you  don't  want  the  story 
to  be  in  everybody's  mouth." 

And  hereupon  she  laughed,  as  though  to  throw  me  some 
grains  of  comfort  by  giving  an  air  of  frivolity  to  the  whole 
affair. 

But  I  was  unable  to  bear  any  more,  and  rushed  out  of 
the  room,  feeling  that  I  could  dash  my  head  against  the 
first  wall.  Oh,  it  was  intolerable!  Running  to  my  own 
room,  I  locked  the  door  to  prevent  anyone  from  intruding 
upon  my  grief.  I  threw  myself  on  the  bed,  where  so 
often  before  I  had  lain  gazing  into  space.  For  hours  I 
lay  there  now,  trying  to  unravel  the  confused  tangle  of 
my  thoughts.  My  head  was  aching  and  burning  fu- 
riously, my  breast  was  heaving  in  a  suffocation  of  dry  sobs. 
And  then  at  last,  after  so  many  months,  the  tears  began 
to  roll  down  my  cheeks  again;  at  first  slowly,  then  in 
floods.  Taking  from  under  my  pillow  the  pictures  of  my 
two  dear  dead  ones,  I  whispered  to  them:  "  If  only  once 
more  I  might  talk  to  you,  I  could  bear  it  all  I " 


ALONE  IN  THE  WORLD  293 

From  this  day  onward  no  one  ever  heard  me  speak 
of  them  again.  They  were  my  two  patron  saints,  to 
whom  I  addressed  my  prayers,  to  whom  I  miburdened  my 
whole  heart.  Yes,  my  saints  —  for  suddenly  I  realised 
that  they  had  both  lost  their  hves  for  my  sake,  that  my 
presentiment  had  been  justified,  that  a  trap  had  been  laid 
for  them,  a  trap  into  which  they  both  had  fallen ;  that  the 
Anarchist  who  had  killed  my  mother  had  only  been  a  tool 
in  the  hands  of  more  skilful  murderers,^  and  that  my  Aya 
had  also  to  disappear  because  she  was  a  second  mother  to 
me. 

Nobody,  I  resolved,  should  ever  have  the  chance  to 
speak  to  me  of  them  until  I  could  justify  them.  I  for- 
bade the  members  of  the  household  to  speak  to  me  of  my 
mother,  and  I  endeavoured,  as  far  as  possible,  not  to  hear 
the  banal  remarks  which  strangers  made  about  the  late 
Empress. 

To  those  who  did  not  know  me  it  might  easily  seem  that 
I  harboured  a  feeling  of  resentment  and  blamed  her  for 
my  misfortune.  But  it  was  not  so.  Never  for  a  moment 
did  I  find  the  slightest  stain  in  her.  Yet,  young  and  in- 
experienced as  I  was,  I  knew  enough  of  the  meanness  and 
wickedness  of  mankind,  and  I  knew  that  at  this  time  I 
was  too  weak  to  fight;  that  if  I  wished  to  fight  I  had  to 
live,  and  if  I  wished  to  live  I  had  to  be  dumb  until  the 
hour  of  my  deliverance  had  come. 

1 A  curious  fact  in  connection  with  Luccheni,  my  mother's  assassin,  de- 
serves mention.  In  the  year  1910  a  commissioner  from  the  United  States, 
making  a  tour  of  prisons  in  Europe,  paid  a  visit  to  Luccheni  at  Geneva  and 
found  him  in  a  pleasant  room  overlooking  the  lake,  passing  his  life  in  an 
agreeable  manner,  working  at  his  prison-trade  of  bookbinding  no  more  than 
he  desired,  and  allowed  a  pint  of  wine  and  plenty  of  cigarettes  every  day. 
His  room  was  furnished  with  a  number  of  pictures,  including  those  of  the 
Emperor  and  Empress  of  Austria!  In  consequence  of  the  commissioner's 
visit,  all  this  became  publicly  known.  A  few  weeks  later  —  in  October.  1910 
—  it  was  officially  reported  that  Luccheni  had  gone  totally  insane,  and  had 
hanged  himself  in  his  cell.  But  there  were  many  who  believed  that  he  had 
been  secretly  released. 


294        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

I  had  almost  forgotten  to  mention  an  old  friend  of  mine 
—  poor  dear  old  Pirker. 

After  all  was  over,  I  had  finally  to  consent  to  break  up 
my  home  in  the  Strohgasse.  Pirker  until  then  had 
watched  over  it.  Can  it  be  realised  what  this  meant  to 
the  old  man,  this  destruction  of  all  his  golden  hopes,  one 
after  another,  this  entire  disappearance  of  a  home  where 
every  little  object,  every  little  corner,  was  a  cherished 
remembrance?  And  what  of  the  manner  in  which  the 
break-up  of  the  establishment  was  carried  out  —  the  lack 
of  respect  for  the  dead  to  whom  it  really  belonged;  the 
lack  of  pity  for  the  child  whose  rightful  home  it  was ;  and, 
last  but  not  least,  the  lack  of  consideration  for  the  faith- 
ful servant  whose  heart  was  almost  broken? 

One  day  in  January,  1899,  a  maid  who  had  shortly  be- 
fore entered  Mrs.  Kaiser's  service  called  me  into  the  draw- 
ing-room. An  old  gentleman  wished  to  speak  to  me,  she 
said.  I  entered  the  room  apprehensively.  Who  could 
it  be? 

Pirker!  He  had  finished  his  task,  and  had  come,  so  to 
speak,  to  receive  his  dismissal  from  me  personally. 

Poor  old  man  I  He  could  not  utter  a  word.  He,  who 
all  his  life  long  had  understood  so  well  how  to  banish 
every  expression  of  emotion  from  his  sphinx-like  features, 
now  lost  all  control  over  himself. 

I  can  picture  him  still  standing  there  in  front  of  me, 
both  his  hands  encased  in  brown  kid  gloves,  helplessly 
holding  on  to  his  hat  and  fingering  the  brim,  while  he 
desperately  fought  with  himself  to  avoid  taking  out  his 
handkerchief.  But  he  fought  in  vain ;  for  at  last  the  tears 
were  not  to  be  kept  back  any  more  and  came  rolhng  down 
his  poor  old  withered  cheeks. 

As  for  me,  what  recollections  the  poor  old  man  was 


ALONE  IN  THE  WORLD  295 

awaking  in  me  I  I  could  imagine,  for  a  moment,  that  I 
was  awaiting  with  him  her  return  from  a  long  journey, 
when  he  always  had  a  cheerful  greeting  from  her.  But 
this  time  she  was  not  coming  back,  and  as  I  awoke  to  a 
realisation  of  this  fact  my  eyes  too  ran  over  with  tears. 
So  we  both  cried  together  like  two  wretched  shipwrecked 
beings  —  as  we  really  were. 

Then  the  old  man,  looking  about  him  as  if  the  very 
walls  had  ears  and  eyes,  took  out  of  his  pocket  a  little 
book. 

"A  prayer-book,'*  he  stammered;  "a  little  remem- 
brance from  a  faithful  servant,"  and,  lowering  his  voice 
still  more :  "  You  must  hide  it  at  once  carefully.  Trust 
nobody.     Some  valuable  documents  are  hidden  in  it." 

Almost  kneeling,  he  caught  my  hand  and  pressed  upon 
it  a  fervent  kiss  before  he  whispered:  "  Farewell,  Impe- 
rial Highness,  farewell!" 

Dragging  his  feet  slowly  one  after  the  other,  he  left 
me.  I  stood  gazing  after  him  for  a  time.  He,  too,  had 
gone  away  from  me;  and  I  felt  that  soon  this  faithful  old 
friend  would  be  out  of  my  life  for  ever. 


EPILOGUE 

The  chief  interest  of  this  book  for  the  reader  perhaps 
ceased  when  the  story  reached  the  point  of  my  mother's 
death.  I  do  not,  therefore,  propose  to  prolong  the  de- 
tailed accomit  of  my  life  beyond  that  terrible  period,  and 
for  the  completion  of  my  story  shall  content  myself 
simply  with  telling  briefly  what  happened  to  me  there- 
after. But  it  seems  to  me  that  I  am  bound  to  narrate  the 
principal  events  which  happened  to  me  between  that  time 
and  the  present  day,  in  order  to  explain  why  I  have  waited 
so  long  as  sixteen  years  before  revealing  my  secret. 

As  I  have  said  in  the  last  chapter,  after  Mrs.  Kaiser's 
awful  revelation  of  how  the  world  looks  on  such  situations, 
my  courage  gave  place  to  the  deepest  despair.  Dearly  as 
it  cost  me,  I  forced  myself  to  hold  my  peace.  I  had  been 
placed,  with  diabolical  skill,  in  a  position  from  which 
escape  was  impossible. 

How  could  I  —  the  child  loved  beyond  belief  by  a 
mother  as  good  as  she  was  noble  —  how  could  I  speak  out 
and  proclaim  to  the  world  the  truth  which  was  choking 
me,  when  the  world,  in  its  pitiless  malice,  would  soil  with 
the  worst  suspicions  the  story  that  I  had  to  tell  of  a  life 
of  inconceivable  tenderness  and  self-sacrifice,  built  upon 
the  ruins  of  a  shattered  youth?  No,  I  must  necessarily 
bow  to  the  law  of  silence  which  had  been  imposed  upon 
me,  and  bury  my  secret  in  the  depths  of  my  soul,  perhaps 
to  the  very  day  of  my  death.  I  must  not  breathe  a  word, 
my  mouth  being  closed  by  respect  for  the  memory  of  my 
dear  dead  one,  who  had  been  followed  to  the  grave  by  the 

296 


EPILOGUE  297 

veneration  of  the  whole  world.  For  me  it  was  necessary 
to  forget  who  I  truly  was,  to  renounce  my  own  individu- 
ality as  it  were,  to  sacrifice  myself  entirely,  without  bit- 
terness and  without  regret.  At  the  thought  that  it  was 
for  her  that  I  was  abandoning  all  my  hopes,  I  felt  myself 
rewarded  by  the  sensation  of  a  new  and  closer  approach 
to  her. 

As  I  did  not  deign  to  confide  my  resolutions  to  those 
about  me,  the  new  direction  of  my  ideas  remained  un- 
known. Very  little  attention  was  paid  to  me  apparently, 
and  to  outward  seeming  I  was  left  quite  free;  but  in 
reality  I  was  a  prisoner  under  the  strictest  control.  I 
never  went  out  alone.  There  was  nothing  unnatural 
about  this,  of  course,  for  a  young  girl  in  the  society  in 
which  I  lived.  But  also  I  was  prevented  from  speaking 
to  anyone,  whoever  it  might  be,  without  being  under  close 
observation.  Mr.  Kaiser,  or  else  his  wife,  opened  all  my 
letters  before  passing  them  on  to  me.  I  did  not  have 
a  single  drawer  which  I  could  lock  up  and  keep  to  my- 
self. Wherever  I  went,  the  Police-commissioner  Windt 
haunted  me.  Just  at  first  I  attached  very  little  impor- 
tance to  his  presence;  but  when  I  found  out  that  he  was 
everywhere  on  my  tracks,  and  that  he  followed  me  even 
on  a  journey,  I  was  forced  to  realise  the  significance  of 
this  perpetual  shadowing,  and  I  knew  that  I  was  less  for- 
gotten in  high  places  than  I  had  supposed. 

Although  this  perpetual  supervision  was  in  many  ways 
very  irksome  to  me,  it  failed  to  provoke  me  to  rebellion. 
On  the  contrary,  I  was  absolutely  resigned  to  remain  in 
the  eyes  of  the  world  a  Miss  Kaiser.  This  captivity  of 
mine  was  to  me  only  a  continuation  of  my  existence  of 
old.  I  found  in  it,  as  it  were,  a  consoling  proof  of  the 
bond  which  could  not  be  broken  between  my  past  and  my 


298        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

present  life.  And,  besides,  there  is  nothing  in  the  way 
of  misfortunes  which  cannot  be  borne  by  those  who  have 
firmly  resolved  to  be  patient.  Had  I  not  been  through 
all  my  childhood  kneeling  in  contemplation  of  the  most 
noble  example  of  patience  which  the  world  had  ever  seen? 

So  two  long  years  passed,  outwardly  full  of  calm,  in- 
terrupted only  by  the  foolish  distractions  of  the  life  of 
Society.  At  rare  intervals  I  abandoned  myself  to  a  pro- 
found melancholy,  especially  on  the  morrow  of  some  big 
social  function,  when  it  was  borne  in  on  me  with  bitter- 
ness how  day  by  day  I  travelled  farther  from  the  happy 
time  when  I  had  a  mother  of  my  own,  and  how  now  I 
became  day  by  day  more  completely  the  daughter  of  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Kaiser.  No  one  can  imagine  what  a  terrible 
struggle  I  had  then  to  prevent  my  own  personality  com- 
ing to  the  surface. 

"  I  must,  I  must,"  I  would  say  to  myself ;  and  it  was 
with  a  never  failing  determination  that  I  strove  to  punish 
myself  for  my  weaknesses  by  forcing  myself  harder  than 
ever  to  keep  up  the  fiction  which  was  so  hateful  to  me. 
My  efforts,  however,  received  not  the  slightest  encourage- 
ment from  those  with  whom  I  lived. 

Mr.  Kaiser  was  growing  very  old.  He  was  beginning 
to  be  wearied  out  by  the  perpetual  efforts  which  he  had  to 
make  to  keep  his  wife  within  the  bounds  of  simplicity  and 
economy,  upon  which  he  had  always  insisted.  As  a  mat- 
ter of  fact,  up  to  now  there  had  been  a  certain  strictness 
about  the  household  of  Mr.  Kaiser.  He  demanded  that 
we  should  dress  ourselves  very  simply.  Our  distrac- 
tions were  kept  within  rigid  limits.  But  as  Laura 
grew  towards  womanhood  she  got  more  and  more  influ- 
ence over  her  mother,  and  through  her  over  Mr.  Kaiser 
also.    The  appearance  of  their  drawing-room  gradually 


EPILOGUE  299 

altered.  Every  fortnight  there  was  a  big  party.  Young 
people,  of  the  idle  class  whose  members  are  found  in  all 
the  drawing-rooms  of  Society,  came  in  numbers  to  their 
house.  There  would  be  about  forty  people  at  a  time.  It 
did  not  take  me  long  to  know  them,  and  the  knowledge 
engendered  a  profound  dislike  for  their  company.  From 
this  time  onwards  there  grew  up  a  discord  of  a  lasting 
kind  between  Laura  and  myself.  She,  quite  unlike  me, 
took  great  delight  in  this  society.  While  I  sought  rather 
the  friendship  of  quiet  and  serious  girls,  Laura  was  car- 
ried away  by  her  sympathy  with  those  who  loved  to  plunge 
wildly  into  the  social  whirl.  It  seemed  to  me  that  our 
good  name  might  suffer  through  such  companions,  and 
this  was  a  matter  to  which  I  was  not  indifferent.  We 
squabbled  continually  on  this  point. 

Mr.  Kaiser  died  suddenly  on  May  30,  1901.  He  was 
found  that  morning  in  his  bed,  apparently  still  asleep; 
but  they  could  not  wake  him,  and,  in  fact,  he  had  ceased 
to  breathe. 

This  was  a  more  serious  loss  for  me  than  I  was  able  to 
conceive  at  first.  If  he  had  not  tried  —  or,  I  should 
rather  say,  if  he  had  not  been  able  —  to  do  anything  on 
behalf  of  my  claims,  at  least  he  had  been  a  real  protector 
to  me  against  the  daily  perils  of  life.  His  death,  there- 
fore, was  bound  to  bring  about  considerable  changes  in 
the  conditions  of  my  existence.  Mrs.  Kaiser  and  her 
daughter  were  not  slow  to  change  their  attitude  toward 
me.  In  spite  of  all  my  efforts  to  conform  myself  to  their 
constantly  changing  conduct,  I  clearly  felt  that  my  pres- 
ence in  their  circle  had  the  effect  of  a  killjoy,  and  that 
decidedly  I  was  a  nuisance  to  them. 

I  had  already  foreseen  how  Laura's  reputation  would 
be  affected,  and  constantly  asked  myself  how  I  should 


300       THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

act  in  defence  of  my  own.  For  sooner  or  later,  passing 
as  I  did  for  Laura's  sister,  and  seen  in  her  company  all 
the  time,  I  could  not  escape  being  involved  in  the  unfa- 
vourable opinion  which  she  must  arouse  against  herself  in 
the  end. 

I  could  not  think  of  getting  permission  to  go  on  some 
trip  with  a  lady  to  accompany  me,  nor  even  of  going 
away  to  some  finishing-school.  There  was  no  way  out  of 
this  false  situation  for  me  except  marriage.  But  since 
my  affair  with  Ferdinand  Fellner  I  had  an  invincible  dis- 
taste for  all  men. 

Besides,  it  seemed  to  me  impossible  after  this  to  fall 
in  love  again;  this  feeling  disposed  of  the  only  possible 
solution.  And  then  the  majority  of  the  young  men  who 
paid  any  attention  to  me  inspired  me  with  no  esteem.  One 
among  them,  however,  managed  to  arouse  in  me  some  in- 
terest. This  was  the  son  of  the  Court  Councillor  Kiih- 
nelt,  Richard  Kiihnelt,  Doctor  of  Laws,  who  was  at  this 
period  a  lieutenant  in  the  cavalry.  He  was  a  well-edu- 
cated young  man,  and  seemed  to  be  of  a  thoroughly  seri- 
ous character.  He  had  lost  his  father  the  same  summer 
that  I  lost  my  mother,  and  the  blow  seemed  also  one  which 
he  could  not  get  over.  His  state  of  mind,  so  like  my  own, 
made  him  very  sympathetic  to  me  —  although,  of  course, 
he  did  not  know  in  the  slightest  that  I  was  mourning  a 
beloved  mother,  and  thought  me  really  a  Miss  Kaiser. 

Laura  felt  toward  him  a  strong  aversion,  which  did  not 
fail  to  commend  him  still  more  to  me.  Mrs.  Kaiser,  al- 
though she  detested  him,  did  her  best  to  encourage  our 
meetings.  I  was  far  from  di'eaming  that  he  would  one 
day  be  my  husband.  If  Mr.  Kaiser  had  lived  but  a  few 
years  longer,  this  young  man  would  have  passed  through 
my  life,  like  many  others  who  were  indifferent  to  me, 


EPILOGUE  301 

without  leaving  a  single  trace  behind  him.  But,  as  it  waSj 
hardly  had  Mr.  Kaiser  gone  when  Mrs.  Kaiser  began  to 
think  how  she  might  get  rid  of  me.  What  I  am  about 
to  tell  may  perhaps  seem  extraordinary,  but  it  is  the  sim- 
ple truth,  the  narration  of  which  could  only  surprise  those 
who  were  still  ignorant  of  the  history  of  my  hfe. 

Scarcely  two  weeks  after  the  death  of  Mr.  Kaiser,  some 
foolish  quarrel  having  broken  out  between  Laura  and  my- 
self, Mrs.  Kaiser  said  to  me:  "  This  Hfe  is  going  to  be 
simply  unendurable.  Things  can't  go  on  like  this.  You 
had  better  try  to  make  some  arrangement  for  your  future ; 
for  you  must  understand  that  you  can  never  get  on  with 
us,  that  you  will  never  really  be  one  of  us." 

The  same  afternoon  she  took  me,  to  my  great  surprise, 
to  pay  a  visit  to  Mrs.  Kiihnelt,  the  mother  of  Richard. 

There,  without  having  given  me  the  slightest  warning 
of  her  intentions,  she  said  to  her  pointblank:  "  I  believe, 
Madame,  that  your  son  is  in  love  with  my  daughter  Lily. 
Would  it  not  be  a  good  thing  to  fall  in  with  their  wishes 
at  once  and  agree  to  their  engagement?" 

I  must  confess  that  my  astonishment  was  nothing  com- 
pared with  that  of  Mrs.  Kiihnelt. 

As  for  the  son,  who  was  there,  as  if  by  accident,  I  had 
a  vague  notion  that  he  was  perhaps  in  league  with  Mrs. 
Kaiser,  and  that  in  any  case  he  had  been  warned  of  her 
untimely  and  uncalled-for  behaviour.  He  took  hold  of 
my  hand  and  turned  upon  me  a  look  which  conveyed  en- 
treaty quite  as  much  as  embarrassment,  stammering  out 
a  few  words  which  I  could  not  understand. 

A  profound  feeling  of  pity  came  over  me.  I  knew  that 
his  mother  was  a  woman  of  very  difficult  character,  and  I 
had  not  the  courage  to  oppose  a  scheme  upon  which  all 
his  happiness  seemed  to  depend.     I  do  not  believe  that  I 


302        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

uttered  a  single  word  during  the  course  of  this  extraor- 
dinary visit. 

My  amazement  had  been  so  great  that  I  remained  for 
long  hours  plunged  in  a  curious  state  of  mind,  without 
any  definite  thought  or  any  particular  wish.  It  was  not 
until  the  next  day  that  I  became  mistress  of  myself  again. 
And  then  I  thought  that  all  that  had  happened  was  no 
doubt  for  the  best.  I  felt  that  it  was  perfectly  useless  to 
rebel  against  the  force  of  circumstances.  Nevertheless 
it  was  not  without  a  terrible  aching  of  my  heart  that  I 
determined  to  let  myself  drift.  In  agreeing  to  become 
the  wife  of  Richard  Kiihnelt,  must  I  not  renounce  for  ever 
my  hope  of  establishing  the  rights  of  my  birth  and  realis- 
ing my  mother's  dearest  wish?  It  was  not  without  diffi- 
culty that  I  succeeded  in  repressing  the  instinctive  revolt 
of  my  soul  against  this  irremediable  calamity.  Certainly 
if  my  poor  mother  had  still  lived  I  should  never  have 
dreamt  for  an  instant  of  uniting  my  lot  with  that  of  him 
who  was  about  to  become  my  husband.  But,  of  course, 
he  believed  simply  that  he  was  marrying  a  Miss  Kaiser, 
whose  social  position  was  equal  to  his  own.  Therefore, 
in  marrying  under  this  assumed  name  of  Miss  Kaiser,  I 
was  going  to  bury  all  my  hopes  and  all  my  rights.  This 
was  the  absolute  end  of  a  great  ambition  and  of  the  ardent 
desire  which  I  had  always  cherished  of  dissipating  the 
heavy  mystery  which  had  surrounded  my  childhood. 

I  must  look  forward  to  the  final  sacrifice  of  my  true 
self;  for  it  was  clear  that  I  could  not  possibly  reveal  to 
Richard  Kuhnelt,  before  our  marriage,  who  I  really  was. 
I  must  hide  within  the  depths  of  my  heart  the  anguish  of 
a  renunciation  which  no  one  else  could  understand. 

A  few  days  after  my  engagement  Mrs.  Kaiser's  lawyer. 
Dr.  Werner,  who  was  also  Mr.  Kaiser's  executor,  in- 


EPILOGUE  303 

formed  me  that  I  possessed  a  fortune  of  four  million 
crowns  (£160,000),  which  my  mother  had  left  me.  Up 
to  this  moment  I  had  not  troubled  my  head  at  all  about 
the  money  questions  which  are  involved  in  nearly  all  mar- 
riages, and  although  I  was  totally  ignorant  of  the  value 
of  money  such  a  discovery  could  not  find  me  indifferent. 
All  my  ideas  were  upset,  life  appearing  less  gloomy  to 
me,  and  the  future  holding  out  fair  promise.  My  fiance 
was  very  well  educated,  and  while  his  talents  were  bound 
to  be  helped  greatly  by  his  father's  high  reputation  on 
the  one  hand,  on  the  other  my  fortune  would  aid  him  to 
make  more  quickly  a  brilHant  career.  He  would  enter 
upon  diplomacy,  and  some  day  perhaps  the  secret  of  my 
origin  might  even  be  revealed.  On  the  whole,  therefore, 
my  lot  was  not  such  a  bad  one. 

Although  I  was  not  greatly  attracted  to  my  betrothed, 
still  I  thought  him  well  worthy  of  being  loved,  and  this  in 
itself  drew  me  to  him.  I  wanted  to  make  him  happy,  and 
the  wish,  it  seemed  to  me,  should  suflSice  to  bring  me  hap- 
piness also.  For  is  it  not  the  principal  object  of  life  to 
live  for  someone  else  and  not  for  oneself? 

Nevertheless,  as  time  went  on,  I  began  to  discover  that 
Richard  Kiihnelt  was  far  from  being  of  so  easy-going  a 
character  as  I  had  imagined  at  the  beginning.  I  con- 
fessed to  myself  that  I  had  little  understood  his  true  na- 
ture, and  I  was  many  times  on  the  point  of  breaking  off 
the  engagement  and  refusing  to  hear  any  more  about  it. 
But  how  could  that  be  done?  If  only  Mrs.  Kaiser's  home 
had  really  been  mine,  I  should  not  have  hesitated  for  a 
moment.  But  it  was  impossible  for  me  to  stay  any  longer 
with  her  and  Laura. 

I  begged  her  not  to  hurry  the  wedding  on,  to  wait  a 
little  longer  before  deciding  my  future  absolutely.     She 


304        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

replied  that  she  was  in  a  hurry  to  have  done  with  it,  that  I 
was  in  the  way,  and  finally  that  she  had  resolved  to  go  to 
spend  the  winter  in  Paris,  where  she  would  on  no  account 
take  me  with  her.  Her  daughter  encouraged  her  to  the 
utmost  of  her  power.  Both  of  them  treated  me  with  such 
harshness  that  I  was  forced  to  recognise  that  the  cause  of 
this  unkind  behaviour  was  the  weariness  and  exasperation 
to  which  they  had  been  reduced  by  the  constant  poUce  su- 
pervision involved  by  my  presence  with  them.  There  is 
indeed  no  doubt  that  this  perpetual  trouble  had  finished 
by  becoming  a  regular  torture  to  them,  and  had  decided 
them  to  try  to  get  rid  of  me  at  all  hazards,  so  that  they 
might  lead  their  lives  for  the  future  in  peace. 

I  did  not  feel  that  I  could  condemn  them  completely. 
On  the  contrary,  I  was  inclined  to  make  every  possible 
excuse  for  them  when  I  considered  that  they  had  never 
really  suffered  and  were  in  consequence  unable  to  realise 
my  sufferings. 

The  worst  of  all  my  sorrows  was  that  I  had  not  near 
me  a  single  friend  whose  advice  I  might  take.  Only  one 
vague  hope  remained  in  my  heart,  that  my  fiance,  after 
we  had  been  married,  would  alter  in  character.  Laura's 
tiresome  caprices  furnished  an  explanation  and  an  excuse 
for  his  ill-humour.  They  would  not  trouble  him  any  more 
after  our  marriage,  and  as  soon  as  he  should  have  learned 
of  my  sorrows  he  might  become  my  best  adviser  and  a 
true  friend  to  me. 

The  date  of  our  wedding  was  fixed  for  January  26, 
1902.  But  matters  did  not  go  quite  smoothly  yet.  In 
coming  to  the  preliminary  formalities  I  must  furnish  the 
authorities  with  particulars  about  myself.  For  a  time 
I  really  thought  that  my  marriage  was  impossible;  and 
it  even  seemed  to  me  that  the  secret  designs  of  Provi- 


EPILOGUE  305 

dence  had  only  placed  me  in  so  false  a  situation  in  order 
to  make  me  understand  beyond  all  question  the  error 
which  I  was  about  to  make.  But  this  idea  was  soon  ban- 
ished, for  no  sooner  did  the  difficulty  arise  than  a  way  was 
found  of  surmounting  it.  As  a  matter  of  fact  I  had  not 
sufficiently  taken  into  consideration  the  secret  supervision 
over  every  step  I  took.  I  had  not  reflected  that  those 
who  had  succeeded  in  appropriating  the  authentic  docu- 
ments concerning  my  origin  had  also  the  power  of  fabri- 
cating others,  without  fear,  to  furnish  me  with  a  false 
identity. 

However,  it  was  not  very  easy  to  manufacture  on  the 
spur  of  a  moment  a  satisfactory  certificate  of  baptism 
whose  date  went  back  some  twenty  years  —  to  1882,  to 
be  precise.  But  this  was  not  too  difficult  for  the  astute 
ingenuity  of  my  persecutors. 

Mrs.  Kaiser,  being  a  Dutch  or  English  sectarian  (I  do 
not  know  which),  was  forced  to  decide  to  become  a  con- 
vert to  Catholicism,  and  I,  in  the  role  of  her  supposed 
daughter,  must  be  converted  at  the  same  time,  so  as  to  be 
able  to  marry  a  Catholic.  Then,  on  the  date  of  my  con- 
version, a  register  of  baptism  could  be  produced  to  take 
the  place  of  the  papers  necessary  for  mj^  marriage.  It 
was  Mrs.  Kaiser  again  who  was  entrusted  with  the  whole 
affair,  with  the  aid  of  the  Rev.  Josef  Pfob,  the  head  in 
Vienna  of  the  order  of  St.  Charles  Boromeus;  he  was  a 
person  very  well  known  in  the  capital  and  popularly  cred- 
ited with  being  engaged  in  numerous  intrigues. 

An  indescribable  scene  took  place.  Although  every 
nerve  in  my  body  throbbed  with  indignation,  I  succeeded 
at  first  in  maintaining  an  appearance  of  calm.  I  refused 
pointblank  to  lend  myself  to  such  a  farce,  declaring  that 
I  was  a  Catholic  already,  and  that  I  could  not  go  through 


306        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

a  pretence  of  conversion.  It  was  true  that  I  might  be 
one  who  made  little  outward  profession,  but  my  soul  was 
too  full  of  genuine  religion  to  insult  thus  by  a  sacrilegious 
imposture  the  worship  in  which  I  had  been  brought  up. 
I  had  been  baptised  a  Catholic  on  coming  into  the  world, 
and  no  force  should  induce  me  to  pretend  a  conversion 
from  Protestantism  to  Catholicism. 

Now  once  more  I  was  overwhelmed  with  threats  of  the 
convent  or  the  madhouse.  But  these  terrible  words  no 
longer  frightened  me.  At  last  in  my  exasperation,  I  an- 
swered curtly  that  they  could  put  me  where  they  wished, 
even  in  hell  itself,  for  nowhere,  I  was  sure,  should  I  have 
so  many  miseries  to  suffer  as  were  mine  here. 

This  outbreak  let  loose  upon  my  head  a  tempest  of  sar- 
casm, and  in  her  anger  (I  admit,  very  much  provoked) 
Mrs.  Kaiser  forgot  herself  so  far  as  to  strike  me.  As  for 
me,  my  persecutions  had  had  such  an  effect  upon  me  that 
I  was  quite  willing  to  contemplate  the  convent,  and  even 
the  lunatic  asylum,  as  a  haven  of  refuge. 

But  they  imderstood  perfectly  that  they  dare  not  dream 
for  a  moment  of  creating  such  a  scandal  just  now.  We 
were  so  well  known  in  Vienna  society  that  my  sudden  dis- 
appearance, on  the  eve  of  a  wedding  ceremony  which 
was  looked  forward  to  as  a  social  event,  would  have 
aroused  a  great  sensation  and  furnished  matter  for  never- 
ending  talk,  and  talk,  too,  of  a  malicious  kind.  It  was 
therefore  necessary  at  all  costs  to  escape  from  so  danger- 
ous a  situation.  A  few  days  after  the  scene  which  I  have 
just  described,  I  received  a  fresh  visit  from  the  priest. 
But  this  time  he  was  alone,  and  our  conversation  lasted 
for  more  than  an  hour.  He  tried,  by  every  possible 
means,  to  make  me  abandon  my  first  resolution.  He  em- 
ployed every  resource  which  he  had,  was  amiability  and 


EPILOGUE  307 

kindness  itself,  but  in  vain.  I  remained  immovable.  In- 
deed, as  his  benevolence  toward  me  appeared  to  me  sin- 
cere, I  confessed  to  him  that,  as  far  as  I  was  concerned, 
I  was  delighted  with  all  that  had  happened;  for  if  I  hs- 
tened  only  to  my  personal  wishes,  I  was  in  no  haste  what- 
ever to  marry.  iUpon  these  words,  the  old  priest  stopped 
short,  asserting  that  my  marriage  was  a  question  which 
could  not  be  debated,  and  that  the  means  would  certainly 
be  found  of  establishing  the  necessary  evidence.  Before 
taking  his  leave  of  me,  he  extracted  from  me  a  promise 
that  I  would  come  to  see  him  next  day  in  the  vestry  of  his 
church.  When  the  moment  arrived,  as  I  was  attacked 
by  scruples  against  keeping  the  appointment  made  so 
much  against  my  will,  Mrs.  Kaiser  found  a  way  of  over- 
coming any  repugnance.  I  let  her  take  me  to  the  priest, 
thinking  of  course  that  such  a  step  was  one  of  no  impor- 
tance. In  spite  of  this,  the  interview  was  interpreted  by 
Josef  Pfob  as  an  actual  ceremony  of  baptism,  and  conse- 
quently he  obtained,  unknown  to  me,  the  indispensable 
document  which  gave  me  an  entirely  false  civil  status,  but 
a  civil  status  nevertheless.  It  was  only  a  few  daj^s  later, 
when  I  saw  matters  rapidly  advancing,  that  I  understood 
the  abominable  trickery  which  had  been  employed  against 
me.  I  refrain  from  any  further  comments  upon  this  af- 
fair, and  leave  it  to  my  readers  to  pass  upon  it  the  judg- 
ment which  it  deserved. 

In  the  first  days  of  my  married  life  I  came  to  realise 
that  I  had  not  yet  found  happiness,  and  that  my  presenti- 
ments, alas!  had  only  been  too  true.  It  was  not  merely 
the  feeble  glinmier  of  my  last  hopes  which  went  out  now, 
it  was  all  that  remained  of  the  sentimental  illusions  of  my 
youth  that  came  to  final  and  utter  ruin. 

Although,  in  accordance  with  the  custom  on  the  Con- 


308        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

tinent,  I  had  seen  my  betrothed  but  rarely  alone,  still  I 
had  imagined  I  could  see  that  his  mind  and  heart  had  not 
remained  total  strangers  to  me.  I  knew  him  to  be  silent 
and  melancholy,  but  at  least  I  imagined  him  sincere  and 
loyal. 

Alas !  how  tremendous  was  the  shock  to  my  heart  when 
I  discovered  my  fatal  error.  On  the  day  after  the  wed- 
ding I  thought  to  perform  the  most  sacred  of  duties  by 
telling  my  husband  my  true  story.  But  he  stopped  me  at 
the  very  beginning  and  asked  me,  in  a  haughty,  ironical 
tone,  whether  I  was  really  so  simple  as  to  imagine  that  he 
was  unaware  of  my  identity,  and  to  suppose  that  he  had 
consented  to  marry  a  mere  Miss  Kaiser.  He  assured  me 
that  he  was  sharper  than  that. 

What  a  sentimental  fool  I  had  been!  I  had  thought 
that  in  marrying  me  he  had  but  followed  his  own  inclina- 
tions. Suddenly  I  perceived,  with  great  clearness,  the 
true  reason  for  my  instinctive  hesitation  to  confide  my 
secret  to  him  before  marriage. 

I  had  been  continually  held  back  by  the  apprehension 
that  our  union  might  be  prevented  at  the  last  moment. 
The  apprehension,  I  have  said;  but  should  I  not  rather 
say,  the  faint  hope? 

And  now  I  knew  how  little  confidence  I  had  in  him  to 
maintain  a  reserve  that  was  certainly  prudent,  but  equally 
as  certainly  uncalculated.  This  knowledge,  coming  late 
in  the  day,  at  once  assumed  a  capital  importance  in  my 
eyes.  I  saw  what  a  mistake  I  had  made  in  yielding  to 
any  hopes  of  conjugal  affection.  I  understood  how  blind 
I  had  been,  when,  to  excuse  him,  I  attributed  his  sudden 
outbreaks  of  ill-humour  to  the  ungracious  welcome  given 
him  by  Laura,  my  supposed  sister,  and  interpreted  his 
taciturnity  as  the  natural  outcome  of  the  wretched  life  he 


EPILOGUE  809 

led  with  his  mother  and  the  genuine  grief  which  he  felt 
over  his  father's  loss.  I  had  fancied  that  I  appeared  to 
him  in  the  light  of  a  young  and  thoughtless  girl,  unshad- 
owed as  yet  by  the  black  wing  of  sorrow.  How  I  had 
erred  when  I  tried  to  persuade  myself  that  all  would  be 
changed  after  our  marriage,  when  he  would  know  all, 
would  be  sincerely  sorry  for  the  pain  he  had  caused  me  by 
his  cross  and  disagreeable  ways,  and  would  become  the 
consoler,  protector,  and  friend  of  whom  I  had  so  much 
need. 

These  reflections  brought  to  me  the  clear  conviction 
that  I  had  only  persisted  in  my  resolve  to  marry  him  be- 
cause of  my  certainty,  as  absolute  as  it  was  groundless, 
that  my  revelation  would  bring  about  a  radical  change  in 
his  attitude,  a  complete  revolution  in  his  ideas  and  affec- 
tions. 

So  far  from  being  realised,  my  fair  dreams  had  only 
lured  me  on  to  ruin.  I  had  not  been  saved,  but  betrayed. 
My  husband  suddenly  appeared  in  my  eyes  as  a  monster 
of  egoism.  What  confidence  could  I  have  in  him  hence- 
forth? Was  he  not  the  agent  of  my  enemies,  the  executor 
of  the  wishes  of  that  invisible  power  which  laboured  in- 
cessantly not  only  to  keep  from  me  my  just  rights,  but 
also  to  take  away  from  me  in  this  world  all  hope,  however 
modest,  of  joy  and  happiness? 

I  must  admit  that  he  did  his  best  to  conquer  his  sullen 
humour  and  was  successful  at  first.  Perhaps  the  satis- 
faction which  his  face  seemed  to  express  was  sincere ;  for, 
after  all,  had  he  not  succeeded  in  his  designs?  He  told 
me,  indeed,  that  henceforward  his  career  was  assured,  if 
only  I  renounced  my  schemes  and  so  avoided  all  scandal. 
This  confession,  however,  did  but  confirm  my  cruel  cer- 
tainty.    It  was  perfectly  clear  that  my  marriage  had  been 


310       THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

cleverly  planned  to  reduce  me  to  impotence.  The  hus- 
band chosen  for  me  was  from  one  of  those  official  fam- 
ilies, every  generation  of  which  is  brought  up  systematic- 
ally on  respect  for  the  estabhshed  order  of  things,  and 
educated  in  an  atmosphere  of  traditional  acquiescence;  a 
man  ready  to  obey  in  all  that  was  demanded  of  him,  and 
promising  by  the  natural  feebleness  of  his  character  that 
he  would  say  and  do  nothing  that  would  give  trouble;  a 
man,  in  fact,  the  very  reverse  of  the  chevalier  sans  peuVj 
who  is  always  ready  to  risk  his  life  for  the  weak  and  op- 
pressed. 

Had  it  not  been  for  the  dreadful  gulf  between  my  hus- 
band and  myself,  my  existence  might  have  been  happy 
enough.  I  was  surrounded  by  material  luxuries  and  com- 
forts, and  as  I  appeared  to  be  ready  to  agree  to  a  life  of 
self-suppression  things  were  made  as  easy  as  possible 
for  me. 

A  great  consolation  came  to  me  when  I  found  that  I 
was  about  to  become  a  mother.  On  November  17,  1902, 
my  son,  Antony-Francis,  was  bom.  This  event  gave  a 
new  value  to  my  life,  creating  a  bond  between  my  hus- 
band and  myself.  We  sat  long,  side  by  side,  watching 
the  pretty  pink,  fair-haired  baby  on  the  white  pillows  of 
his  cot.  We  made  magnificent  plans  together  for  his 
happy  future. 

After  all,  at  that  period  I  had  not  much  of  which  to 
complain.  I  was  pampered  and  spoilt.  I  had  all  that  a 
young  society  woman  could  desire,  horses,  carriages,  serv- 
ants, jewellery,  clothes,  etc.  I  began  to  entertain  largely, 
and  my  at-homes  promised  to  become  among  the  most 
popular  in  Vienna.  Not  without  intention,  I  chose  my 
new  acquaintances  principally  among  the  families  of  the 
members  of  Parliament  belonging  to  the  Polish  party. 


EPILOGUE  311 

Among  my  friends  I  numbered  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Bilinski, 
and,  above  all,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Abrahamovicz,  who  were 
pre-eminent  in  that  party. 

The  success  of  my  entertainments  was  exceptional,  con- 
sidering how  young  a  woman  I  was.  But,  if  I  myself 
made  new  friends  every  day,  the  same  was  not  true  of  my 
husband.  He  gave  himself  too  important  airs  for  his 
twenty-five  years,  and  his  sullen  himaour  was  taken  for 
arrogance  and  vanity. 

So  two  years  passed.  This  pleasant  existence,  peace- 
ful in  spite  of  aU  its  distractions,  was  not  destined  to  last 
long.  Soon  a  new  catastrophe  was  to  cast  me  upon  a  sea 
of  troubles  to  which  I  had  hitherto  been  a  stranger. 

On  the  eve  of  my  wedding.  Dr.  Werner,  who  on  Mr. 
Kaiser's  death  had  been  appointed  my  guardian,  told  me 
that  the  control  of  my  f  ortime  would  be  in  my  husband's 
hands,  as  I  was  still  a  minor.  At  the  period  I  knew  little 
about  business  —  so  little,  indeed,  that  I  considered  it  bad 
taste  for  a  girl  to  think  of  money  matters. 

I  have  been  asked  frequently  since  whether  there  was 
not  a  marriage-contract  between  my  husband  and  myself. 
There  was  none;  but  at  that  time  I  had  no  idea  how  its 
absence  could  affect  my  interests,  nor  even  that  such  things 
existed. 

I  therefore  gave  my  husband  full  powers.  I  knew  that 
the  proceeds  of  my  fortune  would  sufiice  amply  for  our 
needs,  and  that  was  all  I  asked.  I  admit  that  this  aloof- 
ness from  the  practical  side  of  life  indicated  in  me  a  cer- 
tain tendency  toward  frivoHty,  for  which  my  youth  (I 
was  scarcely  more  than  twenty)  was  but  a  poor  excuse. 
The  blow  was  all  the  more  brutally  cruel  when  my  hus- 
band confessed  to  me,  one  fine  day,  that  he  had  been  spec- 
ulating for  several  months  past  and  had  lost  almost  all 


812        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

that  we  possessed.  His  fault  was  all  the  more  unpardon- 
able because  our  income  was  fully  sufficient.  For  the  mo- 
ment I  could  not  see  the  consequences  of  so  grave  a  mis- 
take; but  they  were  brought  home  to  me  vividly  when  I 
was  compelled  to  give  up  our  expensive  social  activities, 
and  even  to  go  without  necessities. 

Later  I  came  to  understand,  although  the  truth  only 
dawned  upon  me  gradually,  that  this  new  blow  was  dealt 
me  by  the  same  pitiless  enemies  to  whom  I  owed  so  much. 
My  relations  with  the  Polish  party  had  aroused  the  sus- 
picions of  the  Court.  No  doubt  it  was  feared  that  I  might 
create  for  myself  a  party  in  Austria,  and  that  the  weak- 
ness of  my  husband  might  enable  me  so  to  dominate  him 
that,  instead  of  thwarting  my  plans,  he  would  range  him- 
self on  my  side.  So  little  wisdom  had  he,  alas  I  that  he 
had  no  idea  that  a  trap  was  laid  for  him.  Unfortunately, 
he  even  thought  himself  a  clever  diplomatist,  and  often 
his  vain  desire  of  making  an  effect  led  him  to  pass  the 
bounds  of  prudence  in  his  speech.  Perhaps,  with  the  in- 
tention of  securing  some  tactical  advantage,  as  it  appeared 
to  him,  he  let  slip  something  of  which  the  echo  sjjeedily 
reached  our  enemies  and  threw  them  into  a  state  of  alarm. 
So  it  was  decided  at  Court  that  I  must  be  completely 
crushed ;  the  Austrian  Court  has  exceedingly  few  scruples 
in  such  matters. 

They  knew  that  if  I  were  ruined  and  penniless  I  should 
at  once  lose  all  support.  They  were  perfectly  well  ac- 
quainted with  my  husband's  character.  His  vanity, 
which  made  him  consider  himself  more  intelligent  and 
stronger  than  anyone  else,  was  cleverly  played  upon  to 
lead  him  toward  the  temptation  of  speculation.  He  was 
given  to  understand  that  by  speculation  he  might  gain 
for  himself  a  fortune  sufficient  to  render  him  independent 


EPILOGUE  313 

of  his  wife's.  I  have  never  been  able  to  discover  tHe 
names  of  the  people  who  enticed  him  along  the  dangerous 
road.  My  husband  was  one  of  the  least  expansive  of 
men;  he  never  spoke  open-heartedly  to  me,  and  on  this 
subject  above  all  others  he  pretended  to  wish  to  avoid 
tedious  explanations. 

A  short  while  before  the  catastrophe  my  husband  had 
bought  a  farm  in  the  neighbourhood  of  Vienna,  called 
Kleinhart.  This  was  now  almost  the  only  property  which 
was  left  to  us.  He  had  not,  however,  told  me  about  the 
purchase  imtil  the  bargain  had  been  completed,  and  it 
had  been  made  in  his  name,  not  mine.  The  whole  prop- 
erty was  in  a  lamentable  state  of  disrepair.  Still  it  of- 
fered us  a  last  refuge,  and  as  it  was  in  close  proximity  to 
Vienna,  we  could  live  there  all  the  year  round,  while  my 
husband  could  at  the  same  time  go  to  his  office  every  day. 

At  the  first  start,  therefore,  our  situation  did  not  seem 
entirely  desperate.  But  we  were  not  allowed  to  cherish 
such  illusions  long.  Of  course  we  had  had  no  prepara- 
tion for  country  life,  and  to  put  this  tumble-down  place 
in  a  proper  state  would  have  needed  hard  work  on  the 
part  of  a  skilful  and  practical  professional.  My  hus- 
band again  thought,  in  the  new  circumstances,  that  he  had 
the  necessary  ability ;  and,  as  by  law  the  property  belonged 
to  him,  I  found  myself  perfectly  helpless  to  correct  by 
any  good  sense  that  I  had  the  wild  ideas  he  held  about  the 
restoration  of  a  country  estate.  I  must  add  that  I  was 
scarcely  in  a  condition  to  enforce  my  views,  for  I  was  in  a 
delicate  state  of  health. 

On  December  6,  1904,  my  little  daughter  Elisabeth- 
Marie-Christine  saw  the  light  of  day.  Poor  child,  she 
was  not  welcomed  with  cries  of  joy  like  her  brother.  No 
one  congratulated  us  upon  her  entry  into  the  world.    Not 


314       THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

a  single  mark  of  sympathy  or  attention  came  to  us  from 
the  brilliant  society  which  so  soon  forgets  those  who  have 
ceased  to  shine.  My  maternal  love,  however,  was  all  the 
greater  through  my  pity  and  indignation  at  this  neglect. 

Our  position  daily  grew  worse.  For  a  whole  year  we 
struggled  in  vain  to  recover  ourselves.  My  husband 
made  blunder  after  blunder.  Such  gross  stupidity  and 
such  inability  to  learn  might  seem  beyond  belief ;  but  they 
were,  nevertheless,  the  causes  of  our  final  ruin.  Any 
small  peasant  could  get  the  better  of  him,  and  he  rapidly 
earned  over  the  countryside  the  reputation  of  a  man  whom 
anyone  could  take  in.  Soon  he  was  loaded  with  debts. 
"Not  having  the  courage  and  energy  to  face  the  situation, 
he  pretended  to  be  ill  and  went  to  spend  the  winter  at 
Abbazzia,  on  the  Adriatic  coast,  leaving  me  alone  with  our 
troubles.  The  task  was  beyond  my  strength,  and  every 
day  I  had  to  put  up  with  cruel  humiliations.  At  length 
it  became  impossible  for  us  to  stay  in  Austria.  Besides, 
my  husband  was  neglecting  his  official  duties,  and  must 
now  give  up  all  hopes  of  a  brilliant  career.  Nothing  re- 
mained for  us,  therefore,  but  to  quit  our  native  land  — 
to  quit  that  land  which  for  so  many  years  had  been  for  me 
a  vale  of  tears,  to  escape  from  which  was  my  sole  desire. 

In  May,  1906,  we  left  for  Canada  with  our  two  chil- 
dren, and  their  nurse,  Fanny  Latzlsperger. 

I  allowed  myself  to  cherish  the  fond  hope  that  there, 
in  totally  new  surroundings,  escaping  from  the  worry  of 
our  debts  and  shaking  off  the  conventions  which  in  Aus- 
tria forced  us  to  continue  ruinous  expenses  in  order  to 
keep  up  appearances  to  the  end,  my  husband  might  sum- 
mon back  his  courage  and  with  renewed  energy  might 
provide  for  his  family,  in  however  modest  a  way.  As  for 
myself,  I  would  not  shrink  from  the  necessity  of  working 


EPILOGUE  315 

if  this  were  to  be  the  price  of  regaining  ease  and  happiness 
in  our  home. 

So  as  to  avoid  useless  waste  of  money,  we  settled  down 
in  the  neighbourhood  of  Montreal,  at  Sault-au-Recollet, 
where  living  was  cheaper  than  in  the  midst  of  a  city.  But 
before  long  affairs  moved  in  a  way  that  looked  ill  for  the 
revolution  in  Fortune's  wheel  for  which  I  hoped.  My 
husband,  who  had  obtained  a  post  as  interpreter  with  the 
Canadian  Pacific  Railway  Company  sufiicing  for  our 
modest  needs,  left  it  at  the  end  of  a  few  months  to  embark 
upon  the  precarious  career  of  a  company  promoter.  He 
dreamt  of  vast  speculations,  and  wanted  to  float  powerful 
companies,  in  which  he  never  succeeded  because  he  never 
had  the  smallest  capital  to  start  them  on.  All  the  while 
I  saw  gradually  melting  away  our  last  poor  reserve  of 
money. 

This  went  on  for  a  year.  Thanks  to  my  never-ceasing 
efforts,  and  by  making  sacrifices  which  were  most  painful 
to  me,  I  had  for  six  years  maintained  appearances  be- 
tween us;  for  I  wished  above  all,  as  a  mother,  that  my 
children  might  have  peace  at  home  if  they  had  no  other 
joys.  But  now  I  saw  myself  faced  by  incalculable  mis- 
eries if  I  did  not  take  some  step  at  once.  My  love  of  my 
children  drove  me  no  longer  to  preserve  their  father  for 
them,  but  to  save  them  from  his  hateful  treatment.  He 
had,  in  fact,  grown  brutal  towards  them,  showing  so  little 
feeling  for  them  that  at  last  he  could  not  bear  to  have  them 
near  him.  As  for  me,  he  would  have  treated  me  as  a  total 
stranger  in  the  end,  had  he  not  seen  the  advantage  of  look- 
ing on  me  rather  as  a  faithful  servant. 

His  outrageous  attitude  became  so  manifest  that  I  un- 
derstood that  he  had  taken  it  up  intentionally  to  drive  me 
to  the  point  of  seeking  a  separation.     Or  did  he,  perhaps, 


316        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

look  forward  to  some  more  tragic  solution?  Whatever 
his  idea,  he  fell  in  at  once  with  a  suggestion  which  I  made 
to  him,  that  we  should  each  go  our  own  way.  He  was  to 
pursue  fortune  on  his  own  account,  I  must  look  after  my 
children's  welfare  with  my  own. 

He  left  for  New  York  on  March  25,  1908.  As  for 
me,  in  the  company  of  the  faithful  Fanny  Latzlsperger, 
who  refused  to  leave  the  children,  I  went  to  British  Co- 
lumbia, and  settled  in  Vancouver,  a  city  then  only  in  its 
infancy  as  regards  time,  but  already  in  the  full  tide  of 
prosperity. 

At  this  supreme  crisis  of  my  fate,  when  it  appeared  as 
if  I  must  have  touched  the  very  bedrock  of  misery,  a  new 
harvest  of  young  hopes  sprang  up  within  me.  For  the 
first  time  after  so  many  years  of  moral  oppression,  I  felt 
myself  delivered  from  the  fetters  of  wretchedness  and 
falsehood  which  had  crushed  my  soul,  and  before  me  there 
seemed  about  to  open  a  future  bright  with  happiness. 

It  was  at  first,  however,  a  very  difficult  task  to  provide 
for  the  material  support  of  the  four  of  us.  It  required, 
if  I  may  say  so  without  unduly  praising  myself,  an  en- 
ergy rare  in  women,  and  a  courage  hard  for  anj^one  to 
muster.  In  America,  it  is  true,  and  especially  out  West, 
it  is  thought  no  shame  to  be  obliged  to  work  for  a  liveli- 
hood after  having  been  accustomed  to  ease.  Misery  does 
not  exist  for  those  who  have  the  will  to  work.  The  first 
months  were  painful,  I  admit.  Many  were  the  times 
when  I  called  back  to  mind  that  sewing-school,  when  amid 
all  the  poor  little  daughters  of  the  people  I  seemed  to  my- 
self to  be  merely  diverting  myself  with  their  toil,  just  as 
one  plays  at  soldiers.  But  nevertheless  it  was  that  little 
game  of  soldiers  which  had  taught  me  the  way  to  extri- 
cate myself  now  from  what  was  in  reahty  a  terrible  bat- 


EPILOGUE  817 

tie.  It  was  truly  some  miraculous  force  which  increased 
my  strength.  I  had  a  comforting  assurance  that  I  was 
preparing  the  way  for  my  decisive  triumph,  and  that  fate 
had  only  been  so  harsh  to  me  to  make  certain  the  path 
of  my  futiu-e. 

To-day,  when  the  picture  of  my  trials  comes  back  to 
my  memory,  it  has  lost  much  of  its  cruel  vividness,  and 
to  realise  it  I  should  be  forced  to  live  again  in  the  same 
atmosphere  which  was  then  about  me.  In  that  country, 
seven  years  ago  especially,  it  was  impossible  for  a  woman 
to  earn  her  bread  by  sewing.  On  the  other  hand,  at  this 
time  of  the  year  —  it  was  spring  —  it  was  no  good  to 
think  of  teaching.  So  it  was  by  no  means  easy  to  see 
what  to  do.  I  had  thought  of  hiring  a  house  and  sub- 
letting the  rooms;  but  I  soon  had  to  renounce  this  idea, 
for  I  could  not  find  a  house  and  was  glad  to  get  rooms  for 
myself.  I  therefore  resigned  myself  to  taking  a  situation 
as  cook  at  the  Yale  Hotel,  so  as  not  to  have  to  spend  more 
of  the  little  money  still  left  to  me.  After  a  short  time, 
when  I  felt  myself  more  secure,  I  opened  a  small  shop 
for  the  sale  of  Viennese  confectionery.  Even  in  the  Far 
West  the  epicures  can  appreciate  confectionery  of  this 
kind. 

In  my  circumstances  my  faithful  Fanny  was  a  very 
great  help  to  me,  and  I  can  honestly  say  that  but  for  her 
my  life  would  have  been  infinitely  harder.  As  it  was,  our 
affairs  went  on  better  and  better,  and  at  the  end  of  a  few 
months  I  was  able  to  sell  my  little  business  at  a  good 
price,  which  was  all  pure  gain  to  me.  This  money  was 
the  starting-point  of  the  new  fortime  which  I  built  up  dur- 
ing these  years,  thanks  to  lucky  speculations  in  land,  while 
I  provided  for  the  daily  needs  of  the  household  by  giving 
lessons  in  languages  and  the  piano. 


318        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

This  was  certainly  a  time  of  hard  toil.  But  it  is  the 
period  of  my  life  upon  which  I  look  back  with  the  great- 
est satisfaction,  not  to  say  pride.  It  was  then  that  I 
learnt  to  have  confidence  in  myself.  It  was  then  that  I 
came  in  closest  contact  with  the  realities  of  life,  of  which 
I  knew  little  up  to  then,  and  few  women  in  my  sphere  can 
ever  know.  And  it  was  then,  perhaps,  that  I  developed 
those  fighting  qualities  which,  helped  by  the  serious  in- 
struction which  was  given  to  me  in  childhood,  will  make 
of  me  one  day,  I  hope,  a  fearless  champion  of  the  rights 
of  the  poor  oppressed,  the  counsellor  of  those  who  have 
need  of  help. 

My  husband  went  back  to  Vienna  a  few  months  after 
our  separation.  As  he  had  quitted  his  post  under  gov- 
ernment at  the  moment  of  our  departure  for  America 
without  taking  leave  of  his  superior,  his  name  had  been 
crossed  off  the  official  list.  Nevertheless,  on  his  return 
he  was  at  once  reinstated,  and  a  very  short  time  after- 
wards he  came  in  for  a  promotion  which,  to  say  the  least 
of  it,  was  unexpected. 

In  conformity  with  the  rules  of  military  discipline,  my 
husband  should  have  asked  for  permission  to  leave  his 
regiment.  This  he  failed  to  do,  and,  having  made  no 
reply  to  the  reiterated  demands  of  the  Austrian  consul  at 
Montreal,  he  had  been  proclaimed  a  deserter.  In  spite 
of  this,  on  his  return,  instead  of  being  visited  with  some 
punishment  as  anyone  else  would  have  been,  he  was  im- 
mediately restored  to  his  regiment  with  the  rank  of  Heu- 
tenant,  and  even  had  the  rare  privilege  of  being  received 
in  audience  by  the  Emperor.  How  can  I  help  being  con- 
firmed, by  this  paradoxical  treatment  of  my  husband,  in 
the  certainty  that  his  conduct,  though  apparently  as  free 
as  it  was  blameworthy,  was  in  reality  but  the  result  of  his 


EPILOGUE  319 

blind  obedience  to  orders  received  from  those  over  him, 
and  that  he  was  in  some  measure  no  more  than  the  docile 
instrmnent  of  a  concerted  plan  to  ruin  me?  Was  he 
therefore  rewarded  for  having  executed  his  task  so  well? 
However  that  may  be,  he  certainly  never  again  troubled 
himself  about  my  children  or  me. 

Months  passed  by.  I  made  in  Vancouver  some  excel- 
lent acquaintances,  who  gradually  extended  my  circle. 
As  Vancouver  was  at  this  time  a  town  of  not  more  than 
eighty  thousand  inhabitants,  the  better  people  in  society 
there  were  not  so  numerous  that  an  addition  to  their  ranks 
ran  any  risk  of  being  overlooked.  In  this  milieu  I  re- 
ceived general  consideration  —  although,  of  course,  my 
true  identity  was  unknown.  It  was  now  that  I  met  him 
who  was  destined  to  become  my  second  husband,  the 
Count  Zanardi  Landi,  who  from  the  first  moment  showed 
himself  a  most  devoted  friend  to  me.  He  was  truly  the 
personification  of  the  good  fortune  of  my  life.  As  brave 
as  he  was  energetic,  he  came  to  be  for  me  the  sure  counsel- 
lor whom  I  had  always  wanted.  It  was  he  who  first  made 
it  plain  to  me  that  since  I  had  children  I  was  not  entitled 
to  renounce  my  rights,  for  one  day  when  it  would  be  too 
late,  they  would  be  justified  in  reproaching  me  bitterly  for 
my  neglect  of  my  claims. 

Besides,  he  argued,  would  my  mother  have  wished  me 
to  act  thus?  Had  she  dreamed  for  me  of  such  a  life  as  I 
was  leading,  in  obscurity  and  almost  in  unhappiness? 
Surely  respect  for  her  memory  must  inspire  me  with 
firmer  resolution.  I  must  try  to  inform  my  nearest  rela- 
tives of  my  existence  and  acquaint  them  to  what  a  level 
I  had  been  reduced.  I  must  enlighten  the  ignorance  in 
which  they  had  been  kept  concerning  me. 

Consequently  I  decided  first  of  all  to  write  to  the  Em- 


320       THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

peror.  I  addressed  to  him  a  letter  dated  October,  1908, 
sending  it  under  care  of  his  private  cabinet,  and  accom- 
panying it  with  a  portrait  of  myself.  I  took  the  precau- 
tion of  requesting  the  private  cabinet  to  put  my  letter  be- 
fore the  Emperor  himself. 

I  received  no  reply  —  as  indeed  I  had  anticipated.  An- 
other urgent  letter  written  by  Count  Zanardi  Landi  in 
the  December  of  the  same  year  was  equally  left  unan- 
swered; as  was  one  which  I  sent  in  March,  1909,  to  my 
sister  the  Archduchess  Marie- Valerie.  As  it  was  re- 
ported that  any  letter  addressed  to  the  German  Emperor 
was  bound  to  reach  him,  I  took  on  myself  to  write  to  him 
in  the  following  September.  I  was  not  unaware,  I  may 
say,  that  all  these  attempts  at  correspondence  would  be 
without  result.  What  could  I  hope  with  such  feeble  re- 
sources as  I  had  at  my  command?  I  was  only  too  well 
acquainted  with  the  ways  of  Courts ;  but  I  wished,  in  act- 
ing as  I  did,  to  salve  my  conscience,  so  that  it  might  not 
be  said  against  me  that  I  had  failed  to  take  the  necessary 
steps. 

I  could  not  yet  dream  of  proceeding  to  more  drastic 
and  vigorous  action.  My  lawyer,  one  of  the  best  known 
in  Canada,  advised  me  to  avoid  all  scandal  before  obtain- 
ing a  divorce  which  should  give  me  the  custody  of  my 
children.  I  could  indeed  easily  be  reduced  to  silence  by 
the  mere  threat  of  taking  them  away  from  me.  Canadian 
law  being  the  same  as  English,  and  very  strict  as  regards 
divorce,  I  had  recourse  to  the  United  States.  But  the 
divorce,  which  secured  to  me  the  custody  of  the  children, 
could  not  guarantee  that  this  would  remain  mine  in  Can- 
ada or  in  Austria.  I  had  now,  however,  the  right  to  take 
Count  Zanardi  Landi  as  my  second  husband.  I  spent 
over  a  year  on  these  proceedings  without  obtaining  my 


EPILOGUE  321 

great  object,  whicH  was  to  give  me  absolutely  and  irrevo- 
cably the  possession  of  my  children,  who  alone  made  my 
life  of  any  value.  There  remained  but  one  way  open  to 
me.  Since  in  Austria  recognition  would  be  refused  to 
the  divorce  obtained  in  the  United  States,  I  could  only 
demand  of  the  Austrian  authorities  that  they  should  ar- 
range a  divorce  in  what  manner  they  might  think  fitting. 
But  after  a  year  of  negotiation  through  the  medium  of 
correspondence,  we  were  convinced  that  I  should  get  noth- 
ing so  long  as  I  did  not  go  to  Austria  myself.  At  first 
this  step  was  very  distasteful  to  me.  I  found  myself  on 
the  horns  of  a  painful  dilemma.  Either  I  must  part  from 
my  children  during  my  visit  to  Europe,  or  I  must  expose 
them  to  great  dangers  if  I  took  them  to  Austria  with 
me. 

I  therefore  made  up  my  mind  to  go  without  them,  my 
dear,  good  Fanny  assuring  me  that  they  should  be  as  well 
looked  after  as  if  I  stayed  with  them  myself. 

On  July  15,  1911,  I  started  on  my  journey,  accompa- 
nied by  my  second  husband,  whose  protection  inspired  me 
with  abundance  of  courage.  Yet  what  grief  I  felt  at  the 
moment  of  departure!  Since  my  httle  ones  had  come  into 
the  world  there  had  never  been  a  separation  between  them 
and  me  —  and  now  I  was  going  so  far  and  for  so  long. 
Only  a  mother  can  really  understand  the  pang.  But 
anyone  who  realises  that  for  years  I  had  consecrated  my 
life  to  providing  for  them,  and  that  my  sole  thought  was 
their  future  happiness,  can  perhaps  form  some  idea  of 
the  state  of  my  mind  when  I  left  them  to  go  to  the  other 
end  of  the  world  in  pursuance  of  my  duty  as  a  mother. 

We  reached  London  on  August  1st,  and  made  a  stay  of 
three  weeks  there,  because  there  was  nothing  useful  to  be 
done  in  Vienna  at  a  time  of  general  holiday.     From  Lon- 


322        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

don  we  went  on  to  Paris,  and  from  there  to  Munich,  where 
we  arrived  on  August  28th. 

We  proposed  to  stay  for  some  time  in  Munich,  whence 
we  might  make  excursions  round  the  Lake  of  Starnberg. 
On  the  very  day  after  our  arrival  we  went  to  Feldafing. 
I  was  eager  to  see  the  place  where  my  poor  mother  had 
spent  so  many  of  her  summers,  where  she  had  experi- 
enced such  deep  joy  and  had  also  suffered  so  terribly. 
We  had  only  meant  to  stay  one  day  at  Feldafing,  but  an 
imforeseen  circumstance  kept  us  there  longer.  By  a  co- 
incidence which  we  had  not  had  the  slightest  reason  for 
anticipating,  at  the  hotel  to  which  we  went,  the  Hotel 
Kaiserin  Elisabeth,  there  was  staying  Queen  Maria- 
Sophia  of  Naples,  my  mother's  sister.  I  felt  that  it  was 
incumbent  on  me  to  take  full  advantage  of  so  favourable 
an  opportunity.  Wishing  to  act  with  perfect  correctness, 
I  thought  that  I  must  write  in  the  first  place  to  her  sec- 
retar}^,  M.  Barcelona.  I  begged  him  to  come  and  see  me, 
wishing  to  have  an  interview  with  him.  He  replied  to 
me  as  follows :  — 

Feldafing,  6,  9,  11. 
Madam, 

I  have  just  received  your  letter,  and  I  hasten  to  pre- 
sent my  excuses  if  I  cannot  pay  you  a  visit. 

Her  Majesty  lives  in  great  privacy,  and  is  here  incog- 
nita, and  I  too,  in  consequence,  am  unable  to  visit  anyone. 
Please  accept  the  assurance  of  my  profound  respect. 
Your  devoted  servant, 

Barcelona. 

This  answer  showed  me  that  I  had  done  wrong  not  to 
indicate  the  reason  of  my  overture.  It  seemed  to  me, 
therefore,  to  involve  no  loss  of  dignity  if  I  explained  to 


EPILOGUE  323 

him  in  a  second  letter  that  I  had  only  desired  to  see  him 
because  I  wished  to  ask  of  Her  Majesty,  through  him, 
the  favour  of  being  received  by  her,  being  the  daughter  of 
a  great  friend  of  hers.  This  was  his  reply  to  my  second 
letter : — 

JMadam, 

I  duly  submitted  to  Her  Majesty  your  request,  but 
the  illustrious  lady  receives  nobody  whom  she  does  not 
know  and  can  make  no  exception  to  this  rule.  I  regret. 
Madam,  that  I  cannot  render  you  this  service  and  beg  you 
to  believe  that  I  am 

Your  devoted  servant, 

Barcelona. 

This  M.  Barcelona  was  a  man  of  no  extraction,  who 
gave  himself  airs  nevertheless.  He  took  upon  himself, 
as  I  discovered  later,  to  refuse  my  request  without  even 
submitting  it  to  his  sovereign. 

I  might  easily  have  approached  my  aimt  in  the  course 
of  one  of  the  many  walks  which  she  took  all  alone;  but 
my  pride  prevented  me.  I  therefore  decided  to  write  to 
her  direct.  On  the  morning  of  September  8th,  while  she 
was  engaged  on  the  finishing  touches  of  her  toilet,  I  gave 
my  letter  to  her  second  valet,  Marsala.  Slipping  a 
twenty-mark  piece  into  his  hand,  I  begged  him  to  take  the 
letter  at  once  to  its  destination,  which  he  did,  under  my 
eyes.  I  watched  him  enter  straight  into  the  bedroom  of 
the  Queen,  who  was  seated  in  front  of  her  toilet-table. 

I  waited  all  day  long  and  the  following  day  without 
receiving  an  answer.  I  imagined  that  my  fond  relative 
might  be  afraid  that  I  was  in  distressed  circumstances 
and  that  my  approach  to  her  was  made  with  the  object 
of  begging  for  pecuniary  assistance  from  her.     In  my 


324        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

very  brief  note  I  had  simply  asked  her  whether  she  was 
aware  of  my  existence  and  whether  she  would  allow  me 
to  speak  to  her.  I  wrote  her  a  new  letter,  in  which  after 
assuring  her  of  my  absolute  disinterestedness  I  requested 
no  other  favour  than  to  be  allowed  to  kiss  the  hand  of  the 
sister  of  my  much  lamented  mother. 

I  sent  this  second  letter  to  her  through  the  same  me- 
dium as  the  first.  The  date  was  September  10th.  On 
the  previous  evening  I  had  been  to  see  the  parish  priest 
of  Feldafing  to  ask  him  to  have  a  Requiem  mass  sung  on 
the  anniversary  of  the  death  of  the  Empress  of  Austria. 
He  stated  that  the  10th  being  a  Sunday,  he  could  not 
have  the  Requiem  mass  before  the  11th;  and  he  added  that 
in  deference  to  the  sister  of  the  deceased  he  must  discover 
whether  she  had  not  herself  the  intention  of  taking  this 
pious  step. 

On  the  night  of  the  10th,  about  nine  o'clock,  my  aunt 
sent  for  me  to  come  to  her  rooms.  I  had  been  so  much 
on  the  watch  all  the  day  long  that  I  was  not  particularly 
surprised  when  Marsala  the  valet  knocked  at  my  door  to 
ask  me  to  come  at  so  late  an  hour. 

As  my  bedroom  was  quite  near  the  Queen's  —  she  being 
in  No.  8  and  I  in  No.  9  —  it  was  perfectly  easy  for  me  to 
slip  into  hers  without  being  seen. 

The  first  few  minutes  of  the  interview  were  marked  by 
an  embarrassment  which  can  be  readily  understood.  I 
strove  to  repress  my  deep  emotion,  while  the  Queen,  to 
hide  hers,  was  extremely  reserved  in  her  manner.  Never- 
theless there  was  something  about  her  which  strangely 
recalled  my  poor  mother.  My  aunt's  behaviour,  appear- 
ing to  me  a  true  family  characteristic,  instead  of  upsetting 
me,  had  quite  the  opposite  effect,  and  even  attracted  me. 
Still  I  hid  my  real  feelings,  not  wishing  to  be  the  first  to 


EPILOGUE  325 

abandon  my  reserve.  In  my  opinion  there  is  nothing  in 
the  world  more  tiresome  than  that  somebody,  who  is  quite 
ignorant  of  your  sentiments,  should  overwhelm  you  with 
professions  of  friendship  and  urge  upon  you  the  claims 
of  relationship.  So  I  waited  for  my  aunt  to  address  the 
first  word  to  me. 

Soon  she  said,  refraining  from  either  using  my  name  or 
calling  me  simply  Madam:  "I  have  received  your  let- 
ters, which,  I  must  confess,  have  disconcerted  me,  for  the 
person  you  claim  to  be  is  supposed  to  be  no  longer 
aUve." 

Her  remarks,  though  they  indicated  in  so  brief  a  com- 
pass so  strong  a  distrust  in  me,  failed  to  abash  me.  Did 
they  not  show,  after  all,  that  she  had  been  aware  of  my 
existence?  The  sudden  profound  satisfaction  caused  by 
this  sent  a  rush  of  blood  to  my  head. 

"  If  your  Majesty  will  only  deign  to  listen  to  me,"  I 
answered  calmly,  "  I  believe  it  will  not  be  difficult  to  prove 
my  identity  and  to  convince  your  Majesty  thoroughly  that 
they  deceived  you  when  they  said  that  the  Empress  Elisa- 
beth's daughter  was  dead." 

With  a  gesture  of  her  hand  she  pointed  out  a  chair 
to  me. 

I  began  by  asking  whether  she  knew  any  details  of  my 
life,  since  she  seemed  to  know  that  I  existed.  She  an- 
swered with  an  affirmative  nod  of  her  head.  Then,  to 
discover  down  to  what  point  she  had  been  able  to  follow 
me,  I  asked  whether  she  knew  that  I  was  married  and  had 
two  children. 

She  gave  another  nod  of  her  head,  accompanied  by  a 
benevolent  smile,  which  she  could  not  repress.  From  that 
moment  the  ice  was  broken.  I  plucked  up  my  courage 
and  told  her  all. 


326        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

She  was  soon  convinced  that  it  would  have  been  im- 
possible for  me,  unless  I  were  really  her  niece,  to  recall  to 
her  so  many  minute  details  and  mention  so  many  circum- 
stances that  only  her  sister's  daughter  could  know. 

She  knew  that  my  husband  had  caused  my  ruin  and 
that  we  had  left  with  our  children  for  Canada.  But  there 
her  knowledge  of  my  history  ceased,  for  she  had  been 
told  that  out  there  I  had  soon  succumbed  to  a  dangerous 
disease  of  the  throat.  It  must  be  confessed  that  while  she 
knew  me  to  be  alive  she  had  never  manifested  much  in- 
terest in  me;  but  I  was  perfectly  well  aware  how  difficult 
it  was  for  her  to  do  anything  against  the  express  desire  of 
the  Court,  and  on  behalf  of  a  niece  with  whom  she  was, 
after  all,  unacquainted. 

I  had  my  children's  pictures  upon  me,  and  I  showed 
them  to  her.  She  was  struck  by  my  little  girl's  resem- 
blance to  my  poor  mother,  and  by  the  Habsburg  expres- 
sion on  my  little  boy's  face. 

I  told  her  finally  about  my  second  marriage,  and  what 
a  faithful  friend,  what  a  brave  champion  I  had  gained 
by  it. 

Before  taking  my  leave  of  her  I  spoke  to  her  about  the 
Requiem  service  for  the  next  day,  and  she  promised  to 
be  present  at  it  or  at  least  to  come  to  the  church  immedi- 
ately after  it.  Then  as  I  was  about  to  depart  she 
stretched  out  her  hands  to  me,  and,  with  a  smile  full  of 
amiability,  drew  me  towards  her  to  embrace  me.  *'  Until 
to-morrow!"  she  murmured  as  she  led  me  to  the  door, 
making  a  great  effort  to  restrain  the  emotion  which  she 
was  evidently  feeling. 

Next  day,  just  at  the  moment  when,  in  despair  of  see- 
ing her,  we  were  going  toward  the  holy  water  basin,  a 
few  minutes  after  the  end  of  the  service,  she  entered  the 


EPILOGUE  827 

church.  Holding  out  her  hand  to  me  she  requested  me 
to  present  to  her  Count  Zanardi  Landi,  who  had  remained 
a  little  distance  away.  She  spoke  to  him  in  Itahan,  hav- 
ing a  marked  preference  for  this  language,  it  seemed. 
She  thanked  him  for  all  he  had  done  for  her  niece  and 
bade  us  adieu,  like  a  good  Catholic,  with  the  words: 
"  May  God  bless  you,  and  grant  that  you  may  soon  be 
united  in  His  sight  too! " 

On  the  evenings  that  followed  I  went  to  see  her  again 
in  her  room.  She  did  not  for  the  present  wish  our  meet- 
ings to  be  observed,  so  that  it  was  like  a  charming  renewal 
of  the  long  hours  I  used  to  spend  in  secret  with  my  mother 
in  the  hotels  where  we  stopped,  when,  after  all  her  suite 
had  retired,  I  had  crept  into  her  bedroom. 

The  Queen  slept  very  little,  not  going  to  bed  before 
one  o'clock,  and  getting  up  again  at  six. 

Several  days  passed  thus.  Every  night  we  made  an  ap- 
pointment for  the  next  day.  I  need  not  tell  that  this 
sweet  friendship  was  a  delight  to  me.  The  Queen  told 
me  after  the  second  evening  to  drop  the  formal  "  Your 
Majesty,"  and  call  her  simply  "  Aunt,"  and  she  always 
addressed  me  affectionately  by  my  name.  Without  my 
asking  her  to  do  so,  she  informed  me  that  she  had  at  once 
taken  steps  to  have  my  position  regularised;  and  she  said 
she  hoped  for  a  prompt  result,  for  she  could  not  believe 
that  the  Imperial  family  would  refuse  to  do  anything  for 
one  of  its  own  members  when  it  knew  the  circumstances 
of  the  case. 

On  the  morning  of  September  15th  there  was  brought 
to  me  the  visiting-card  of  the  parish  priest  of  Feldafing, 
on  which  was  written :  "  The  Rev.  Karl  Kolb,  while  re- 
turning his  best  thanks  for  the  forty  marks,  begs  to 
request  Madame  to  call  and  see  him  to-day,  if  possible,  at 


328        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

two  in  the  afternoon,  to  receive  an  important  communica- 
tion." 

That  same  morning  the  proprietor  of  the  hotel  in- 
formed me  that  Her  Majesty's  secretary  begged  me  not 
to  insist  on  being  received  by  her  as  she  could  see  no  one 
at  all.  As  the  secretary  was  totally  ignorant,  like  the 
rest  of  my  aunt's  suite  (with  the  exception  of  Marsala), 
of  our  secret  interviews,  I  could  only  suppose  that  he 
had  sent  this  message,  in  its  discourteous  form,  in  order 
to  increase  his  own  importance.  In  any  case  it  was  not 
permitted  to  me  to  discover  his  real  motive,  as  I  never 
saw  my  aunt  again. 

In  the  afternoon  I  went  to  the  Abbe  Kolb's  and  found 
that  what  he  wished  to  communicate  to  me  was  this.  The 
Queen  had  charged  him  to  beg  me  to  leave  Feldafing  as 
soon  as  possible,  if  I  wished  to  spare  her  grave  annoyance. 
She  had  received  the  answer  to  the  effort  which  she  had 
made  on  my  behalf ;  and  this  in  laconic  fashion  ordered  her 
not  to  interfere  in  matters  with  which  she  had  no  concern. 
He  had  been  asked  to  express  the  very  profound  regret 
which  such  an  ending  to  the  affair  had  caused  her;  but  I 
must  know  how  dependent  she  was  upon  the  persons  whose 
help  she  had  solicited  on  my  behalf,  and  how  powerless 
she  was  without  this  help.  She  gave  me  her  blessing 
and  prayed  earnestly  that  I  might  succeed  in  spite  of  all 
opposition. 

Once  more  my  hopes  faded  away.  I  must  state  that, 
notwithstanding  this  great  disappointment,  I  never 
dreamt  for  a  single  instant  of  blaming  my  old  aunt  or  of 
entertaining  the  least  resentment  against  her.  I  was  ab- 
solutely sure  that  in  the  circumstances  in  which  she  was 
placed  she  had  acted  with  the  best  intentions  possible. 
Yet  I  was  none  the  less  brought  to  despair,  I  confess. 


EPILOGUE  329 

During  those  few  days  I  had  been  living  again  in  the 
atmosphere  of  my  past  existence,  to  which  I  had  not  even 
had  the  wish  to  return.  What  had  spurred  me  on  to  act 
was  the  thought  of  estabhshing  my  children's  rights,  for 
personally  I  had  long  abandoned  all  ideas  of  re-establish- 
ing my  rights  and  only  wished  for  peace.  It  would  not 
have  been  without  a  certain  pride,  indeed,  that  I  should 
have  enjoyed  a  freedom  won  by  my  own  strength  and 
resolution,  after  having  had  such  great  difficulty  in  over- 
coming the  weaknesses  of  my  heart.  But  there  had  been 
a  reawakening  in  me  of  lawful  ambitions.  My  interviews 
with  my  aunt  had  taken  me  back  to  the  world  in  which  I 
had  been  born  and  for  which  I  had  been  trained.  I  had 
been  treated  for  some  days  with  the  consideration  to  which 
my  origin  gave  me  a  right. 

And  now  suddenly  I  realized  the  inflexible  laws  govern- 
ing the  fate  of  all,  against  which  no  human  will  can  fight. 
I  saw  with  the  utmost  clearness  that  the  independence 
which  I  had  so  fondly  imagined  that  I  had  secured  for 
myself  would  never  actually  be  mine.  How  like  a  human 
being  is  to  a  plant,  which  one  may  tear  up  from  the  soil 
that  bears  and  nourishes  it,  but,  transplanting  it  to  some 
foreign  soil,  finds  that  it  cannot  become  acclimatised. 
Just  so  an  imperial  princess,  bearing  in  the  cradle  the 
burden  of  her  rank,  is  bound  by  all  the  fibres  of  her  being 
to  the  traditions  of  centuries,  which  not  even  the  most 
democratic  education  can  efface.  It  is  in  her  blood,  her 
whole  soul  is  steeped  in  it.  It  is  a  useless  struggle  to  try 
to  become  merely  the  same  as  the  rest  of  the  world.  At  a 
crisis  there  will  always  be  some  little  weakness  which 
will  overmaster  her,  from  which  there  is  no  possible 
escape. 

I  knew  now  for  how  little  counted  my  desire  for  inde- 


330        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

pendence  and  calm  resignation.  I  understood  that  it 
would  never  be  possible  for  me  to  renounce  all  finally,  and 
the  revelation  affected  me  considerably  —  though,  of 
course,  I  could  not  altogether  complain  of  my  lot,  having 
a  faithful  companion  to  console  and  protect  me,  a  hus- 
band who  cherished  me  tenderly  and  was  attentive  to  the 
least  of  my  wishes. 

On  the  day  after  my  interview  with  the  priest,  Septem- 
ber 16th,  we  left  Feldafing.  My  pride  rightly  prevented 
me  from  making  any  attempt  to  see  my  aunt  again. 

My  divorce  in  Austria  was  fixed  for  the  month  of  Octo- 
ber. With  an  anguish  impossible  to  realize  I  set  out  for 
Vienna.  Was  I  not  putting  my  head  in  the  lion's  mouth? 
I  was  playing  a  game  in  which  my  own  person  was  at 
stake,  and  my  children  were  the  prize.  The  journey 
across  Austria  was  a  prolonged  agony.  I  saw  a  spy  in 
every  fellow-passenger,  and  every  glance  thrown  my  way 
made  me  suspect  that  I  was  specially  watched.  Then  in 
Vienna,  at  the  law-courts,  when  I  had  to  give  my  name 
and  address,  my  heart  was  wrung.  But  there  was  not  the 
slightest  hitch.  On  October  21st  the  divorce  was  decreed, 
leaving  the  children  entirely  mine. 

I  stayed  ten  days  longer  in  Vienna.  I  now  felt  more 
at  ease.  After  all  that  had  passed,  the  letters  I  had  writ- 
ten, and  the  adventure  at  Feldafing,  I  had  come  to  the 
conclusion  that  no  attempt  would  be  made  against  my 
person  for  fear  of  a  scandal.  I  met  some  good  friends  of 
old  times,  to  whom  I  had  not  ventured  to  confide  my 
troubles,  but  who  now  told  me  that  they  had  been  quite 
aware  of  them,  and  had  even  guessed  the  secret  of  the 
mystery  which  enveloped  me  during  the  Empress's  life- 
time. Belonging  to  Court  society,  they  had  felt  bound  by 
prudence  to  hold  their  peace.     Now  they  protested  their 


EPILOGUE  881 

absolute  devotion  to  my  cause,  and  undertook  to  form  a 
party  at  Court  to  uphold  me. 

I  must  be  allowed  to  make  an  exception,  in  the  case 
of  these  friends,  to  the  rule  which  I  have  hitherto  followed, 
and  to  withhold  their  names,  as  otherwise  I  should  ruin 
them  irretrievably.  The  gratitude  and  the  admiration 
which  I  feel  for  their  noble  spirit  of  justice  are  so  keen 
that,  in  spite  of  any  personal  benefit  which  I  might  get  by 
naming  them,  I  must  be  silent  for  their  sakes. 

All  the  while  they  were  making  their  brave  endeavours 
they  were  under  the  greatest  apprehensions  about  my 
safety.  Yielding  to  their  urgent  entreaties,  I  resolved 
to  leave  Vienna,  and  took  my  departure  on  November 
2nd.  As  they  thought  my  husband's  assistance  abso- 
lutely indispensable  for  some  time  still,  and,  on  the  other 
hand,  did  not  consider  it  prudent  to  let  me  travel  in  the 
sole  company  of  a  maid,  they  arranged  that  I  should  be 
escorted  by  a  young  couple,  an  officer  and  his  wife,  who 
agreed  to  be  responsible  for  me,  though  the  cost  to  them 
might  be  nothing  less  than  the  impossibility  of  ever  going 
back  to  Austria  again.  I  stopped  for  a  short  while  at 
Tann,  in  Bavaria,  at  the  house  of  my  good  Fanny's 
mother.  Here  at  least,  in  Europe,  I  had  a  home.  Nat- 
urally, I  wished  to  avoid  all  hotels. 

While  I  was  at  Tann  my  friends  were  not  sleeping. 
After  careful  deliberation  they  arrived  at  the  conclusion 
that,  above  all,  we  must  have  the  opinion  of  a  good  Vien- 
nese lawyer  if  we  would  be  safe.  The  man  selected  was 
Dr.  Walther  Rode,  who  declared  that  nothing  could  be 
done  without  a  personal  interview  with  me.  It  was 
therefore  settled  that  we  should  meet  on  November  7, 
1911,  at  the  Park  Hotel,  Munich. 

The  lawyer  put  me  through  a  thorough  cross-examina- 


332        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

tion,  which  was  only  briefly  interrupted  for  lunch.  I  was 
"  in  the  box  "  for  nine  hours,  answering  all  his  questions. 
He  made  no  secret  of  the  fact  that  his  original  attitude 
towards  me  was  one  of  distrust.  But  at  the  end  of  our 
interview  he  rose,  and,  kissing  my  hand,  he  said  to  me: 
*'  Madam,  I  beg  you  to  consider  me  henceforward  one  of 
your  most  devoted  supporters.  I  have  no  doubt  what- 
ever of  the  absolute  truth  of  your  statements  and  the  com- 
plete justice  of  your  cause." 

On  his  return  to  Vienna,  Dr.  Rode  began  operations. 
On  November  11th,  he  wrote  to  me  that  my  friends  had 
submitted  my  case  to  the  military  as  well  as  the  civil  de- 
partments of  His  Majesty's  private  cabinet;  that  conse- 
quently Prince  Montenuovo,  Grand  Chamberlain  to  the 
Court,  Baron  Bolfrass,  head  of  the  military,  and  Baron 
Schiessl,  head  of  the  civil  department,  knew  all;  and  that 
he  thought  that  steps  should  be  taken  immediately,  so 
that  on  Monday,  the  13th,  he  was  going  to  apply  to  the 
courts  for  permission  to  inspect  the  Empress's  will.  The 
authorities  could  not  evade  giving  an  answer  of  some  kind 
to  this  request,  without  much  delay,  and  would  therefore 
be  compelled  to  consider  officially  the  question  of  my 
birth. 

In  accordance  with  this  programme  Dr.  Rode  on 
Monday,  the  13th,  made  his  application  in  the  proper 
quarter.  The  document  consisted  of  seventeen  typewrit- 
ten pages,  and  set  forth  briefly  the  whole  of  my  history. 
A  week  passed  without  any  visible  result.  Dr.  Rode 
wrote  to  me  on  the  15th  that  on  the  day  after  the  applica- 
tion Prince  Montenuovo  and  Baron  Bolfrass  went  to- 
gether to  an  audience  with  the  Emperor,  undoubtedly  in 
connection  with  my  affairs,  as  these  two  officials  could  not, 
of  course,  settle  so  grave  a  question  and  take  on  them- 


EPILOGUE  888 

selves  the  responsibility  for  the  consequences  which  must 
inevitably  follow. 

In  a  second  letter,  dated  November  18th,  Dr.  Rode  in- 
formed me  that  he  had  made  another  application  to  the 
Minister  of  the  Imperial  Household,^  claiming  a  civil 
status  for  me  as  a  member  of  the  Imperial  family.  One 
paragraph  of  this  letter  deserves  quotation :  — 

"  I  have  no  doubt  that,  since  the  Court  is  now  ac- 
quainted with  this  affair  which  had  been  thought  buried 
for  ever,  everyone  is  in  a  state  of  utter  perplexity.  Be- 
sides, it  is  easy  to  understand  that  the  head  of  the  Im- 
perial Family,  were  he  to  recognise  you,  would  come  up 
against  all  kinds  of  obstacles;  and  unless  he  succeeded  in 
overcoming  his  objections,  no  force  on  earth  could  make 
him  depart  from  his  attitude  of  non-recognition  towards 
you.  However,  it  should  not  be  forgotten  that  his  age  is 
such  that  thoughts  of  the  hereafter  must  always  be  pres- 
ent to  his  mind,  and  consequently  one  must  be  prepared 
for  unforeseen  results." 

Another  letter  from  Dr.  Rode,  also  dated  the  18th, 
told  me  that  it  had  been  impossible  for  him,  up  to  now, 
to  trace  my  birth-certificate,  although  he  had  even  gone 
so  far  as  to  search  the  Jewish  registers  in  order  to  satisfy 
himself  that  I  was  not  mentioned  in  them. 

So  finished  a  week  of  waiting.  On  November  20th  I 
first  of  all  received  a  letter  from  my  lawyer  begging  me 
to  give  him  a  second  interview  at  Passau  on  the  Austro- 
Bavarian  frontier;  and  then,  in  the  afternoon,  a  telegram 
saying:  — 

"  Matters  apparently  taking  good  turn.  Appoint- 
ment postponed.     Letter  follows." 

1  In  Austria  the  Minister  for  Foreign  Aflfairs  also  fills  this  post. 


334        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

Next  day  came  two  letters  from  Dr.  Rode.  One,  sent 
by  express  messenger,  was  very  short,  and  informed  me 
that  he  had  had  an  interview  with  Councillor  von  Seidel. 
The  second  was  more  detailed,  and  told  me  how  he  had 
been  smnmoned  to  the  Chancellor's  office,  where  he  had 
been  received  with  the  utmost  amiability.  He  had  talked 
with  Herr  von  Seidel  for  more  than  an  hour,  and  had  been 
promised  by  him  that  he  would  get  the  Grand  Marshal, 
Count  Zichy,  to  receive  him  very  shortly.  "  I  think  I 
may  say,"  concluded  Dr.  Rode,  "  that  I  succeeded,  with 
my  application,  in  hitting  the  bull's-eye." 

It  was  easy  to  see  in  these  letters  my  lawyer's  enthusi- 
asm about  my  affairs.  Noticeable  also  was  the  benevo- 
lent attitude  taken  up  toward  him  by  the  Court,  where 
it  was  tacitly  conceded  that  I  had  a  perfect  right  to  act 
as  I  was  doing  and  no  one  disputed  my  claims. 

On  November  23rd,  Dr.  Rode  was  due  to  be  received 
by  Count  Zichy.  From  this  date  his  conduct  suddenly 
changed.  After  having  written  to  me  almost  every  day, 
and  sometimes  twice  in  one  day,  he  left  me  now  forty- 
eight  hours  without  any  news  whatever  —  and  that  when 
he  knew  that  we  were  waiting  most  anxiously  for  the  re- 
sult of  his  interview  with  Count  Zichy.  At  last,  at  mid- 
night on  the  24th,  we  received  a  telegram:  — 

"  Shall  be  at  Passau,  Bayrischer  Hof  Hotel,  Saturday 
night,  25th." 

Next  day  we  set  out  early  so  as  to  be  punctual  at  the 
appointed  spot.  Dr.  Rode  told  us  that  he  had  succeeded 
in  having  his  interview  with  Count  Zichy,  who  had  begged 
him  above  all  to  maintain  absolute  secrecy  about  the  af- 
fair. He  himself,  he  had  stated,  had  no  power  to  give 
an  official  answer.     This  was  Prince  Montenuovo's  duty, 


EPILOGUE  885 

although  he  certainly  had  the  right  of  making  unofficial 
propositions. 

Count  Zichy  added  that  the  Emperor  was  too  advanced 
in  age,  and  in  too  precarious  health,  to  hsten  to  matters 
which  might  grieve  him  seriously.  But  the  Court  —  al- 
ways this  anonymous,  indefinable  "  Court "  —  was  not 
altogether  hostile  to  me,  and,  having  certain  funds  avail- 
able, made  me  the  offer,  through  my  la^vyer,  of  a  million 
crowns. 

Hearing  this,  I  felt  instinctively  that  Dr.  Rode  no 
longer  was  actuated  by  my  interests  alone.  I  answered 
at  once  that  what  I  claimed  was  not  money,  but  my  birth- 
right; that,  thanks  to  my  husband,  I  had  no  need  what- 
ever of  the  former ;  and  that  what  I  ardently  desired  was 
to  meet  my  family  and  be  received  by  them,  if  only  in 
private  and  unseen  by  the  rest  of  the  world.  Their 
money  was  nothing  to  me. 

Dr.  Rode  at  once  raised  his  offer  to  a  million  and  a 
half;  and,  impressed  with  the  certainty  that  he  would  ob- 
tain my  consent  in  the  long  run,  he  began  to  describe 
minutely  the  plan  which  must  be  followed  to  bring  about, 
indirectly,  a  conclusion  of  the  affair  with  the  Court. 

My  husband  here  gave  me  a  secret  sign  to  let  Dr.  Rode 
proceed  to  the  end  of  his  argument.  The  doctor  ex- 
plained to  me  the  solution  which  the  Court  suggested.  I 
must  call  upon  Mrs.  Kaiser  as  a  witness  and  demand  from 
her  circumstantial  details  about  my  birth,  and  her  rela- 
tions with  the  Empress  of  Austria.  Mrs.  Kaiser,  in 
order  to  avoid  a  great  scandal,  would  offer  me  the  cash, 
which  the  Court  would  refund  to  her. 

I  was  careful  not  to  express  my  opinion  with  regard 
to  such  a  proposal.  I  simply  told  Dr.  Rode  that  a  de- 
cision of  such  importance  required  more  than  an  hour's 


336        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

reflection,  and  that  I  would  send  my  answer  in  writing 
in  a  few  days'  time.  We  parted,  therefore,  on  Sunday, 
the  26th,  Dr.  Rode  under  the  impression  that  I  was  about 
to  fall  blindly  into  the  pit  that  had  been  dug  for  me,  and 
I  only  too  sure  that  he  was  no  longer  acting  frankly  and 
that  I  must  be  on  my  guard.  Still,  I  did  not  wish  to 
make  an  enemy  of  him.  I  wrote  to  him  on  the  27th,  ex- 
plaining to  him  that  my  husband  and  I,  seeing  the  affair 
growing  more  and  more  complicated,  had  decided  after 
mature  thought  to  avail  ourselves  of  the  help  of  a  lawyer 
of  non- Austrian  nationality  to  second  his  efforts.  We 
supposed  that  he  would  not  take  offence  at  this,  because 
he  himself,  when  he  had  first  taken  up  the  case,  had 
pressed  us  to  adopt  such  a  course.  Then,  when  we 
should  have  discussed  matters  with  the  lawyer  whom  we 
might  select  in  Italy,  we  would  communicate  to  Dr.  Rode 
our  intention  of  proceeding  or  otherwise. 

By  return  of  post  I  received  an  answer  which  betrayed 
the  writer's  extreme  uneasiness.  This  time  the  letter  was 
not  typed,  but  written  entirely  in  Dr.  Rode's  own 
hand. 

"  I  am  not  at  all  offended  at  the  idea  of  an  Italian  law- 
yer," he  said;  "but  if  you  engage  one,  I  must  ask  you 
kindly  to  dispense  with  my  services  —  especially  as  I  am 
persuaded  that  I  am  powerless.  The  parties  in  question 
will  do  absolutely  nothing,  and  I  should  be  wasting  my 
time  and  my  life  in  a  vain  and  futile  struggle." 

We  went  immediately  to  Italy,  where  I  consulted  sev- 
eral lawj^ers.  All  expressed  identically  the  same  opinion, 
that  Dr.  Rode  had  been  constrained  by  the  Imperial 
Court  to  back  out  of  his  task;  but,  as  the  object  which  I 
had  in  view  was  not  to  make  money,  the  only  advice  they 
could  give  me  was  to  publish  the  book  which  I  now  pre- 


EPILOGUE  337 

sent  to  the  world,  so  that  my  claims  might  at  least  come 
before  the  bar  of  public  opinion. 

I  proceeded  at  once  to  make  arrangements  for  the  issue 
of  an  Italian  version  of  my  story.  A  prominent  pub- 
lisher, who  had  brought  out  books  for  the  members  of  the 
Italian  royal  family,  undertook  the  task,  agreeing  to  se- 
cure publication  in  France  also.  The  affair  seemed  well 
on  its  way,  when,  in  February,  1913,  only  a  few  days  be- 
fore the  printers  had  completed  their  work,  the  Italian 
government  stepped  in  and  confiscated  the  plates,  proofs, 
and  all. 

I  had  meanwhile  gone  to  London  again,  and  had 
settled  in  a  house  there.  When  I  discovered  that  my 
speedy  return  to  Canada  would  be  impossible,  I  had  sent 
over  for  my  faithful  Fanny  to  bring  the  two  children  to 
me  in  London,  where  they  arrived  in  August,  1912.^  It 
was  in  London,  in  the  following  February,  that  the  news 
of  the  Italian  government's  action  reached  me.  Immedi- 
ately afterwards  I  learnt  that  the  French  publication  had 
also  fallen  through.  The  serial  and  book  rights  had  both 
been  placed  with  the  same  firm  in  Paris,  which  now, 
though  the  French  version  had  been  made  and  set  up  by 
the  printers,  decided  not  to  publish  it.  I  know  the  sum 
—  forty  thousand  francs  —  which  was  paid  to  secure  the 
book's  suppression  in  France.  With  regard  to  what  hap- 
pened in  Italy,  my  husband  in  the  previous  November  had 
seen  Cardinal  Rampolla,  with  whom  he  had  discussed 
matters  for  two  whole  hours;  and  we  heard  through  the 
publisher  that  it  was  the  Vatican  which  made  the  first 

1 1  may  mention  that  in  London  Fanny  was  approached  by  Austrijui 
agents,  who  endeavoured  to  induce  her  to  purloin  documents  from  me  or  to 
betray  my  confidence  in  other  ways?  but  ali  in  vain.  Tlie  poor  woman  was 
killed  on  February  27,  1913,  near  the  Marble  Arch,  being  run  over  by  a 
motor-car  while  out  with  the  two  children,  who  escaped  as  though  by  a 
miracle.  Some  of  my  readers  will  no  doubt  remember  seeing  the  incident 
recorded  in  the  newspapers  at  the  time. 


338        THE  SECRET  OF  AN  EMPRESS 

move  for  the  suppression  of  the  Italian  version,  acting  no 
doubt  on  behalf  of  the  Austrian  government. 

The  Italian  publisher,  owing  to  his  business  connection 
with  members  of  the  royal  family,  could  not  say  much  in 
the  way  of  protest.  The  newspapers  did  not  fail  to  re- 
port the  affair  and  to  remark  on  the  illegality  of  the  sup- 
pression; but  somehow  they  were  induced  to  let  the  matter 
drop. 

I  was  therefore  foiled  in  my  attempt  to  make  my  story 
known  to  the  world  either  in  Italian  or  in  French.  I 
knew  that  German  publication  was  impossible,  except 
through  the  mediimi  of  some  Swiss  publisher,  when  ex- 
portation of  the  work  across  the  frontier  could  be  stopped. 
I  decided  to  make  my  appeal  in  the  English  language, 
being  anxious,  moreover,  to  reach  the  great  public  of  Eng- 
land and  America. 

Thanks  to  my  own  exertions,  thanks  to  the  assistance 
of  disinterested  friends,  and  thanks  to  the  man  who  has 
grown  to  be  a  fond  father  to  my  son  and  daughter,  I  have 
at  last  come  to  see  the  day  when  my  book  will  be  in  the 
hands  of  the  reading  public,  which  will  be,  I  am  sure,  an 
impartial  judge  towards  me  and  a  generous  protector  to 
my  children. 


THE  END 


mDEX 


INDEX 


Abrahamovicz,  Mr.  and  Mrs.,  311 . 
Alexandra,  Empress,  158. 
Antony-Francis,  birth  of,  810. 
Auersperg,  Princess  Aglae,  and    Rudolf 

of  Austria,  217. 
Augusta  of  Bavaria,  136. 

Bartholme,  Miss,  71. 

Bayerl,   Commissioner  Georg,   252,   255, 

259. 
Bilinski,  Mr.  and  Mrs.,  311. 
Billroth,  Theodore,  62. 
Bismarck  and  Ludwig  II  of  Bavaria,  141. 
Bolfrass,  Baron,  231,  233,  332. 
Bombelles,  Coimt  Charies,  214.  j 
Brahms,  Johannes,  62. 
Bratfisch,  228. 

Carito,  Rafael,  44. 

Chotek,  Countess  Sophie  (Duchess  of  Ho- 
henberg),  240; 

assassination  of,  245; 

marriage  of,  240; 

political  influence  of,  138,  241. 
Christomanos,    Dr.,    and    Elisabeth    of 

Austria,  41. 
Conrad  of  Bavaria,  136. 
Coiu^  of  Vienna,  life  at,  175,  207,  et  seq. 
Crombl,  Madame,  lessons  from,  8. 
Crown  Prince  of  Austria.  See  Rudolf. 

Dancing  classes,  261. 
DUrckheim-Montmartin,    Count    Alfred 
von,  147. 

EUsabeth-Marie-Christine,  birth  of,  313. 
Elisabeth  of  Austria,  Empress,  — 

and  Bertha  Habrda,  203; 

and  Court  life,  39; 

and  Dr.  Christomanos,  41; 

and  Ludwig  II  of  Bavaria,  173; 

and  Professor  Kraus,  105; 

assassination  of,  282; 

at  the  Riviera,  83; 


attempts  to  secure  recognition  of  Count- 
ess Zanardi  Landi,  274  et  seq.; 

birth  of,  28; 

childhood  of,  32; 

courtship  of,  33; 

"eccentricity"  of,  43,  61; 

explains  her  secret,  25,  126; 

her  habits  of  study,  40; 

in  mourning  for  Crown  Prince,  9; 

letters  to  Countess  Zanardi  Landi,  182, 
186,  259,  277; 

letters  to  Frau  von  Friese,  69,  64,  116, 
168,  257; 

public  appearance  in  Vienna,  157; 

relations  with  her  family,  276; 

sympathy  with  Ludwig  II  of  Bavaria, 
145; 

telegram  from  Ludwig  II  of  Bavaria, 
147; 

wedding  of,  35. 
Elisabeth  of  Bavaria,  marriage  of,  135, 
Ersie,  223. 

Eschenbach,  Baroness  Ebner  von,  62. 
Etlinger,  Mina,  54. 

Feldafing,  322. 

Fellner,  Ferdinand,  164,  186,  188,  262. 

268. 
Ferdinand-Karl,  Archduke,  244. 
Ferdinand-Max,  Archduke,  68. 
Femwald,  Prof.  Karl  Braun  von,  1. 
Francis-Joseph,  Emperor,  — 
affection  for  Countess  Zanardi  Landi, 

vi; 
courtship  of,  33; 
interview  with  Rudolf,  225; 
promises  protection  to  Ludwig  II,  147; 
takes  steps  for  recognition  of  daughter, 

279; 
tragedy  of  his  life,  vi; 
visits   Empress   at   birth   of    Countess 
Zanardi  Landi,  1. 
Francis-Salvator  of  Tuscany,  Archduke, 
138. 


342 


INDEX 


Franz-Ferdinand,    Archduke,    assassina- 
tion of,  245; 
atTerritet,  171; 
history  of,  239. 
Franz-Joseph-Otto,  248. 
Frauenerwerbverein,  the.  Countess  Zanardi 

Landi  at,  159. 
Friese,  Frau  von,  — 

assumes  charge   of    Countess   Zanardi 

Landi,  47; 
death  of,  289; 
history  of,  48; 
illness  of,  180; 
letter  from,  to  Countess  Zanardi  Landi 

on  death  of  Empress,  284; 
rule  of,  201; 
spies  of,  251. 

Geneva,  visit  to,  174. 

George  of  Bavaria,  marriage  of,  136. 

Gisela,  135; 

birth  of,  25. 
Gmunden,  93. 
GOdollo,  69. 
Goess,  Countess,  2; 

death  of,  161. 
Goldmark,  Karl,  62. 
Gudden,  Dr.  von,  146,  150,  151,  153. 

Habrda,  Bertha,  at  sewing-school,  203, 
249. 

Habrda,  Johann,  203,  218,  230,  237,  253. 

Hain,  Fraulein,  53. 

Hanauseck,  Fraulein,  98,  101. 

Helene,  Princess  of  Thurn  and  Taxis,  29, 
n.,  32  et  seq. 

Hofifmann,  Frau  Louise,  15. 

Hohenberg,  Duchess  of.  See  Chotek, 
Countess. 

Hold,  Herr  Hans,  15. 

Holnstein,  Count,  and  Ludwig  II  of  Ba- 
varia, 143. 

Hungarian  Millennium,  109,  115. 

Insanity  of  Wittelsbachs  denied,  29. 

Isabella,  Archduchess,  241,  244. 

Ischl,  Coimtess  Zanardi  Landi  at,  \\5  et 

seq. 
Ives,  Miss,  12  ei  seq.,  27. 

Joseph  II  of  Austria  and  the  Church,  212. 


Kaiser,  Laura,  12,  51,  94,  202,  298. 
Kaiser,  Mr.,  death  of,  299. 
Kaiser,  Mr.  and  Mrs.,  agree  to  bring  up 
Countess  Zanardi  Landi,  2; 

at  Portschach,  281; 

Countess  Zanardi  Landi  leaves,  51; 

holiday  with,  61; 

silver  wedding  of,  115. 
Kaiser,  Mrs.,  illnesses  of,  78,  96. 
Karl-Franz-Joseph,  Archduke,  242,  246. 
Karl-Ludwig,  Archduke,  and  Prince  Ru- 
dolf, 213. 
Karl-Theodor,  Duke,  29,  n.,  32. 
Karrersee,  191  et  seq. 
Kinsky,  Countess,  138. 
Kleinhart  farm,  313. 
Kolb,  Abbe  Karl,  327. 
Kraus,   Professor,   as  tutor  of  Countess 
Zanardi  Landi,  101; 

at  Ischl,  116; 

diary  of,  at  Ischl,  117; 

introduced    to    Elisabeth    of   Austria, 
105; 

recognises  Countess  Zanardi  Landi,  103. 
Krieau  at  Vienna,  183; 
Kuhnelt,    Dr.    Richard,    early    meetings 
with,  300; 

goes  to  Canada,  314; 

marriage  of,  307; 

retiu-ns  to  Austria,  318. 
Kundman,  Karl,  62. 

Lainz,    Countess  Zanardi  Landi's  home 

at,  12. 
Lambertus,  Father,  15,  52,  57. 
Langbath  Lakes,  64. 
Larisch,  Countess,  220. 
Latzlsperger,  Fanny,  314; 

death  of,  337,  n. 
Leopold,  56. 

Letters  and  extracts  from  letters,  — 
from  M.  Barcelona  to  Countess  Zanardi 

Landi,  Sept.  6,  1911,  322,  323; 
from  Elisabeth  of  Austria 

to  Countess  Zanardi  Landi,  182,  186, 

259;  July  18,  1898,  277; 
to  Frau  von  Friese,  May  10,  1893,  59; 
64;  July  4, 1896,  116;  168;  Dec.  18, 
1897,  257;  Dec.  26,  1897,  257; 
from   Fellner,  Ferdinand,  to   Coimtess 
Zanardi  Landi,  269; 


INTDEX 


343 


from  Friese,  Frau  von,  to  Countess  Za- 
nardi  Landi,  284; 

from  Rode,  Dr.  Walther,  to  Countess 
Zanardi  Landi,  Nov.  18,  1911,  333; 
Nov.  27,  1911,  336. 
Levinsky,  Joseph,  137. 
Liechtenstein,  Prince,  231. 
Loschegg,  228. 
Luccheni,  Empress  of  Austria's  assassin, 

293  n. 
Ludovica,  Duchess,  31. 
Ludwig  II  of  Bavaria,  28,  n.,  29,  66,  67; 

and  Bismarck,  143; 

and  Elisabeth  of  Austria,  140,  173; 

and  money,  143; 

and  Richard  Wagner,  173; 

death  of,  153; 

history  of,  141; 

plot  for  escape  of,  151 ; 

plots  against,  145  et  seq.', 

sepulchre  of,  76; 

taken  to  Berg,  150; 
Luitpold,  Prince,  142,  143. 

Maria-Josepha,  Archduchess,  244. 
Maria-Sophia,  Queen  of  Naples,  29,  n.; 

322. 
Marie  of  Bavaria,  Queen,  30. 
Marie-Valerie,  Archduchess,  244. 
Marie  Vetsera,  Baroness,  and  Rudolf  of 
Austria,  220; 

assassination  of,  234. 
Marschall,  Gottfried,  224,  237. 
Max-Emmanuel,  Duke,  of  Bavaria,  29,  n., 

61. 
Maximilian,  Duke,  of  Bavaria,  31; 

children  of,  28,  n. 
Maximilian  II,  30. 
Mayer,  Clarisse,  162. 
Mayer,  Father,  100. 
Mayerling,  218; 

riddle  of,  207. 
Montenuovo,  Prince,  and  Countess  Zan- 
ardi Landi's  claim,  332; 

history  of,  16,  n. 

Name-day  in  Austria,  160,  n. 
Nopsca,  Baron,  81. 

Osterholzer,  145,  149. 

Otto,  King  of  Bavaria,  insanity  of,  30. 


Paoli,  detective,  and  Elisabeth  of  Austria, 

43. 
Pfob,  Rev.  Josef,  305. 
Philip  of  Coburg,  Duke,  224. 
Pidon,  Mademoiselle,  12  et  seq.,  27. 
Pirker,  Alois,  2,  12,  54,  256,  294. 
POrtschach,  281. 

Riviera,  visit  to  the,  83. 
Rode,  Dr.  Walther,  331. 
Rothschild,  Baroness  Adolphe,  174. 
Roumania,  King  and  Queen  of,  at  Ischl. 

94. 
Rudolf,  Crown  Prince  of  Austria,  — 

amusements  of,  209; 

and  army,  213; 

and  Baroness  Marie  Vetsera,  220; 

assassination  of,  8,  234; 

birth  of,  25; 

childhood  of,  209; 

Empress  Elisabeth's  love  for,  134; 

freemason,  211; 

funeral  of,  10; 

interview  with  Emperor  of  Austria,  225 ; 

marries  Princess  Stephanie,  216; 

relations  with  Emperor  of  Austria,  222; 

religious  training  of,  211. 

St.  Charies's  Day,  160. 
St.  Gilgen,  61. 
Sarajevo  crime,  the,  245. 
Schedivi,  Theresa,  2. 
Schiessl,  Baron,  332. 
Sewing-schools,  159,  202,  249. 
Sonntag,  146. 
Sophia,  Archduchess,  31; 

and  Elisabeth  of  Austria,  37. 
Sophie-Charlotte,   Duchess    of    Alengon, 

death  of,  178. 
Stephanie,  Princess,  216. 
Szilghy,  President  von,  115. 
Sztaray,  Countess,  197. 

Territet,  visit  to,  168. 
Thyr,  Elsa  von,  72. 
Thyr,  Frau  von,  74,  261. 

Valerie,  Archduchess,  136; 
birth  of,  26; 
marriage  of,  138; 
political  ambitions  of,  138. 


344 


IOT)EX 


Veldes,  188. 

Venice,  68. 

Vienna  in  May,  182. 

Wagner,  Richard,  and  Ludwig  II  of  Ba- 
varia, 173. 

Washington,  Baron,  and  Ludwig  II  of 
Bavaria,  146. 

Windt,  Commissioner  Camillo,  252,  255, 
259,  297. 

Wittelsbachs,  history  of,  29. 

Zanardi  Landi,  Count,  first  meeting  with, 
319; 

marriage  to,  321. 
Zanardi  Landi,  Countess,  accident  to,  79; 

and  Frau  von  Friese,  47; 

and  servants,  53; 

at  dancing  classes,  261; 

at  the  Frauenerwerbverein,  159; 

at  Frau  von  Thyr's  dance,  165; 

at  the  Riviera,  83; 

birth  of,  1; 

birth  of  her  daughter,  318; 


birth  of  her  son,  310; 

claims  birthright,  331; 

decides  to  publish  book,  337; 

discovers  her  mother,  20; 

divorce  granted,  320,  330; 

early  home  of,  12; 

Empress's  plans  for,  176; 

falls  in  love,  166; 

first  marriage  of,  307; 

goes  to  Canada,  314; 

goes  to  school,  71; 

goes  to  Vancouver,  316; 

illness  of,  94; 

meets  Ferdinand  Fellner,  164; 

meets  Maria-Sophia,  Queen  of  Naples, 
324; 

punishment  of,  14,  23; 

recognised  at  Gmunden,  99; 

recognised  by  Professor  Kraus,  103; 

religious  training  of,  52,  57; 

second  marriage  of,  321; 

settles  in  London,  337. 
Zanders,  148,  151. 
Zita,  Archduchess,  247. 


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